Chapter Text
He really had thought the world was ending.
Or that it was some sort of rapture
He cursed the fact that he was unlucky enough to be caught at work during the end of everything, not even offered the luxury of dying comfortably in his home. Panic gripped him first, he was going to be left behind, he was gonna die in this office, fuck, did catholics even believe in the rapture?
He didn’t have time to ruminate on the fragility of his faith, too consumed with staring out the window of his office, eyes transfixed on a pillar of flowing light pouring out of the summit of Mount Ebott, burning the golden afternoon sky a blinding white.
It was horrifying, it was burning his eyes, he couldn’t look away. He knew there was something strange about that old landmark, it was why he’d always catch himself staring out at it on breaks. It called to him in some sort of beautiful, mysterious hymn, the way it seemed to swallow up travelers whole, the way nothing ever seemed to work around its base.
The way the air around it seemed to crackle with some sort of magic.
It enchanted him. He’d always considered himself lucky to get prime seating, his cubicle positioned right next to the window, just enough space to let him kick back his rolling chair and gaze at it as the day ended.
But now, it seemed to be offering him front row tickets to the death of all creation, to the end of life as he knew it, to-
To nothing, apparently.
As soon as it started, the light subsided, turning to wisps that blew away so quick in the sky it was almost as if he had never seen it. The air around him felt charged, like something had shifted, like the whole balance of everything he knew had been thrown off kilter.
He had no idea how right his intuition had been.
He’d rushed towards the elevator, unable to stop staring at the mountain as he descended the skyscraper, only noticing the chaos in the city streets as he stepped outside.
People were panicking, cars were frozen in place, all seemingly in the same position as him, paralyzed by the lightshow. News stations were urgently pushing out emergency messages for citizens to stay inside as they tried to put together the story, projected across every billboard and screen dotted across Elysium square.
He shoved through the crowds of people that nearly progressed into stampedes, barely managing to squeeze through the rush of people as he ran towards his apartment. As soon as he was inside he slammed the door shut and locked it, haphazardly throwing his briefcase to the side and clawing off his suit, body overwhelmingly warm with sweat and stress.
His eyes were fixed on the TV, waiting with baited breath for every update, only looking away a sparse few times to consider calling his siblings or grabbing his rosary. He couldn’t find it in himself to get up, either cowardice or raw curiosity chaining him in place and forcing him to stare at the screen. After hours of nothing, the news had broken:
Monsters were pouring out of Mount Ebbot.
Monsters. He never had truly believed they were real, even after learning about the war in school all those years ago. An ancient race of magical creatures, able to harness some unseen arcane force, sealed away by humans?
Humans didn’t have magic. They didn’t have mages or protection spells strong enough to seal an entire society beneath a barrier in some great mountain. And If they did the world would be a hell of a lot better than it is now.
Yet the war had happened, the monsters had been defeated, humans had prevailed, life went on, and the monsters were buried in the memory of human society just like they were buried beneath Ebott.
He suddenly began to regret not paying attention in class, maybe he would’ve remembered how to protect himself if he did. He cursed his younger self for always drifting off during lectures, though he had always figured that they were all just fairytales.
Every second waiting for new reports was agony, he was so on edge he’d nearly had a heart attack when the home phone began to ring on his wall. He hesitantly peeled away from the couch, grabbing it and flinching as the frantic voices of his brothers broke through the receiver.
Their voices all fought to speak over each other, all asking with varying levels of distress if he had made it home safe from the office and if he was hurt. He quickly reassured them that he was more than fine, though his thoughts were quickly interrupted as a new breaking news announcement flashed across the screen.
He hurriedly said goodbye, poorly vaulting over the back of his couch, scrambling to grab the remote as he pushed the volume up to near maximum. A pair of frazzled reporters, who he recognized as the partners who usually gave the weather, stumbled out a brand new report given by the ambassador to the monsters.
The monsters proposed peace, offering their magic and any possible assistance, so long as the humans were reciprocal and cordial. He couldn’t decide whether to be more shocked about monsters being kind and rational, or about the fact that their ambassador seemed to be a human kid no older than eight.
His head was throbbing with the sheer weight of everything he was trying to process: monsters were real, so was magic, humans had magic and they lost it, and everything he knew was wrong.
Maybe this was all a dream, and when he woke up tomorrow, everything would be back to normal.
- - -
Everything was real and by god had it gotten worse.
It has been nearly two weeks after the news had broken and the sky had split, and monsters had already begun integrating their way into the city. Elysium was a short drive away from the mountain, making it unfortunately the first place the government offered up for the new outpour of monsters looking for a place to stay.
He’d initially shrugged it off, figuring that if he just stayed away from the areas the monsters favored he’d never have to deal with them, though he quickly realized that speaking to them would be an inevitability.
Why? Because his work had instated an absolutely wonderful new policy to start integrating monsters into the workplace, and Spamton was, as his boss had put it: “Given the privilege of helping out one of the new hires!”
He cursed under his breath as he walked towards his office, fuckin’ Mike, always roping him into shit he never asked for. He owed his job to him, he really did, but the guy seemed to use that leverage at every moment he got, dangling it over his head like a cat-toy.
And he’d never even met Mike in person, he was always too busy yucking it up with the other executives. Probably golfing and relaxing on sunkissed beaches while he drowned his employees in paperwork.
He stepped into the elevator, looking out towards the billboards dotting the rooftops as he ascended towards his floor. He spotted a fresh new ad for Mayor Holiday and his nose wrinkled. He'd been acquainted with her for years and he’d never figured her the type for charity, much less opening the city up to be a buffet for the mountain’s residents, though they really did only know each other tangentially.
He blinked himself out of his thoughts as the elevator door dinged and he was suddenly bombarded with a much noisier office than he was used to. Monsters of all types walked throughout the cubicles, examining everything as his coworkers stood at their side explaining whatever they could.
His eyes widened as he took in the sheer variety of the creatures in front of him, some animal like, others seemingly made out of raw elements, some so small you’d fear that you’d squish them and others so tall-
Spamton jolted as a hand tapped him from behind, whipping around and nearly falling over as he balked at the sight behind him. A tall, insectoid creature was bending over, mouth partially open for what seemed to be the beginning of a question, though it too seemed taken aback by his outburst.
“Oh- I’m sorry! Didn’t mean to frighten you, little guy!” The bug laughed, a loud boisterous laugh that took up too much of the room. He ignored how much his face reddened at the degrading little nickname as he examined the monster in front of him.
The bug’s multiple pairs of hands began to smooth out the white fluff that covered the monster's strangely featureless face, flat and empty where its eyes should be. He felt a shiver go down his spine as he watched the four hands move about, it was downright unnatural. To top it off the thing was staggeringly large with a flashy sense of fashion, seeing as he was wearing a fiery red suit on a random Thursday at work.
The monster snapped in his face, “Hello? Anyone there? You’ve been kinda staring at me for a while now- not that I mind!” He rolled his eyes, the bug’s voice was overwhelmingly showy, trying too hard to be charming.
“How can you even tell where’m lookin’?” He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to try and see if any eyes were hidden behind all that fur.
“You just kinda feel it, y’know? You can usually feel when a person’s looking at you, or at least I can- Oh gosh, I haven’t even told you my name!” The bug surged forwards, grabbing his hands, pulling him forwards.
“I’m Ant Tenna, but please, call me Tenna!” Tenna aggressively shook his hands so hard it nearly pulled him off his feet. After a few seconds Tenna released him with an awkward laugh, giving him a second to shake out his hands.
“Yer' name's Ant?” He let out a small exhale from his nose, “That’s like namin’ your kid Human, isn’t it?”
Tenna let out a little chuckle, as if he’d said something absurd. “Oh, right- you humans do names all different, don’t you? For monsters like me, we have our family name first, and our real name second, it’s very simple!” Tenna finished, nodding like he was approving of his own advice.
His eyes narrowed, he couldn’t tell if Tenna was trying to be genuinely helpful or condescending, either way both were getting on his nerves. He reminded himself to be polite, his job was on the line after all.
He cleared his throat, “Well, speakin’ of which, the names Spamton. Spamton G. Spamton, I’d ask you for a handshake but you beat me to it.” He put on his customer service smile, which seemed to thrill Tenna.
“Spamton- Spammmton.” Tenna repeated like he was testing how it felt on his tongue, “That's a fun sound! Much better than all the other ones I've heard so far.” He noticed that Tenna seemed to gesticulate with every word, four hands moving about wildly to accent his sentences.
His smile dropped slightly as he tightened his jaw, he must be one of those people pleaser types “Y’ don’t need to flatter me, Tenna.”
“Oh flatter-shmatter, I’m being honest! I think it suits you very well, better than…” Tenna tapped his chin with a clawed finger for a few seconds, the mandibles on his mouth clicking at the same rhythm as he deeply considered his next words. “Well- I haven’t heard any bad human names so far, some are pretty boring but- It’s refreshing, is what I’m saying.”
That did draw a genuine laugh from him as he shook his head, putting his hands up while shrugging, “Y’got me there.” He chose to ignore the strange sense of warmth he felt in his chest for his name being praised. Its a damn good name too, fuck his brothers for making fun of what he picked.
There was an awkward pause as he slotted his hands into his pockets, starting to rock on his heels as he thought of what to say next. “So, any- any questions?” He wanted to kick himself for stuttering.
“Oh a million!” Tenna exclaimed, clapping his hands together with glee like he’d been waiting all day to be asked. “You’re the first human I’ve ever spoken to, I've just got so much I wanna know!”
He internally groaned as the two began to walk and talk around the floor, “Well, hope I can keep up.” He tried to sound enthused, he really did.
“Well, I’ve just been so curious about what kind of magic you use!” Tenna registered his lack of a response as confusion and quickly continued, “It’s common courtesy in the underground to introduce yourself with bullet patterns, and maybe a bit of friendly sparring-”
“Scuse me, bullet patterns?” He imagined Tenna’s arms whirling around revolvers in a full cowboy getup and he had to bite his tongue not to chuckle.
The antennas on the monster's head drooped slightly, “You don't.. have bullet patterns?” Tenna shook his head, “No, no you must! You probably just haven’t learned how, right?”
He sucked in air through his teeth, “Sorry to break it to you but us humans don’t really do magic. Haven’t done it for the last three hundred somethin’ years.” Tenna’s entire body went rigid, his fur standing on end, and if he had eyes they’d probably be wide open.
“No magic? No magic?! Surely you do, how else are you alive then?” Tenna’s voice was suddenly high as he circled around him, antennas reaching forwards and prodding at his face which he shrunk away from. As Tenna whirled around him he noticed that he had one of those large insect.. backside things, and that it was twitching not unlike a tail.
“The hell do you mean?” Maybe it was just a monster thing, but he recoiled at how concerned Tenna seemed to be about him, despite them literally just meeting. Maybe they were just more touchy feely than humans were, but it was almost smothering.
“Monsters are made of magic so you-” Tenna stopped himself halfway, laughing and backing up as his antennae twisted together, “..and you’re not a monster, right!” Tenna wrung his hands together, clearly a bit embarrassed by his misstep.
He did feel just the slightest bit bad for ruining Tenna’s opening icebreaker, and even though he couldn’t have wished more to end this conversation here, he searched his thoughts before sighing and finally speaking, “Well.. you can show me your bullet patterns, right?”
He cringed a bit, was that weird in monster culture? For someone to show you theirs but not to show your own? Was it like coming to a potluck and only bringing napkins? His questions were answered by the absolutely exhilarated smile on Tenna’s face.
“Oh of course! Spamton, that's genius!” Tenna hesitated for a second, “Though to do that I would have to see your soul.”
He blinked, “My soul?”
Tenna put a finger up, the perfect model of a teachers pet, “Its the very culmination of-”
He quickly interrupted, rolling his eyes, “Yeah yeah, thank you, I know the whole spiel, I’m askin’ why.”
“Well to see someone’s patterns you need to enter a battle, but don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you!” Spamton smiled stiffly, not like he needed the reassurance, there were about fifty other witnesses in the room. “And human souls are so unique, it'll tell me a lot about you.”
His shoulders tightened, “How much about me?”
“All sorts of things!” Tenna began to list them out on his fingers, “A soul's color can reveal your personality, how big it is usually shows your magic but- that doesn't really matter for you, and the strength of its core shows your Level Of Vi-” Tenna paused, “...vitality! Yes, that. That's the word- vitality.”
He squinted at Tenna’s aggressively suspicious behavior, taking down a mental note that this guy was absolutely awful at lying. He hesitantly moved a hand over his heart, looking away, “I uh, don’t think I want to show you my soul. Not really fond of getting all- analyzed like that.”
At least his excuse was partially true. He was really more afraid that Tenna would start reading into his secrets and find something nasty, or he’d tell him something horrible like his soul is small and weak compared to the average human.
Tenna seemed just as relieved as he was to move on from the topic, jumping into the next sentence almost immediately as he began to walk again, leaving him stumbling to keep up with Tenna’s frustratingly long strides.
Tenna looked about the room to find a new random thing to focus on before his entire face seemed to brighten up, and he rushed across the room before settling beside the water cooler. “What is this beautiful creature?”
- - -
He sighed with relief as the clock hit eleven thirty, his tension melting away as he took off towards the break room. It wasn’t that he hated showing around Tenna, but it was exhausting explaining every little thing that Tenna could point at.
What’s a car, a spreadsheet, different office plants, brands on advertisements outside, literally anything. And he felt like such a jackass for getting annoyed about it because Tenna had all the rights in the world to be curious.
Living in such a cramped space, no sun, no open roads to drive down late when you need to think, must’ve been suffocating. Though, he still thought that it was unfair that he had to be the one that Tenna endlessly jabbered on to.
He wasn’t a very sociable guy, he could be if he got paid for it, though he didn’t remember anywhere in the contract that he’d have to get an earful from some strange monster and get stuck in small-talk purgatory.
He and Tenna had parted ways half an hour ago, as Tasque, the floor manager, had pulled Tenna aside to speak to him about something. He silently thanked her with his eyes as the bug was led away, though he didn’t think that she noticed.
He opened the break room door, spotting Pink chilling by the fridge with a cup of water in his hands. Before he could even walk over and start up a conversation he felt a familiar fluffy mit grab onto his arm.
“Spamton!” Spamton jolted at the sudden contact.. “There you are, fantastic news!” Spamton looked over his shoulder and was greeted with the already all too familiar mug of Tenna with that same dopey smile on his face. He clenched his hand into a fist, just when he was beginning to unwind of course Tenna was here again, and how the hell did he keep moving around so silently?
“Oh really?” Sarcasm bled into his words, but Tenna continued on without even noticing.
“Yes! Miss Tasque just told me that you’re going to personally help me get more acclimated with the city, isn’t that wonderful?”
He felt his heart drop to his shoes, and he was thankful he hadn’t grabbed his food yet because if he had been holding it, it would’ve been crushed into oblivion. “What.”
“Yeah, she told me that our boss personally recommended you, he says you really know this place like the back of your hand.” Tenna droned on, but he’d completely tuned him out after personally recommended you.
He was going to kill Mike.
“Thats- That is so-” He could feel his face getting red as he tried to repress the seething emotions he was feeling, “-great!” His teeth were grinding together so hard he was shocked he couldn't hear the friction.
Tenna nodded, “I know, right? Anyways, I need to figure out my new computer, so I’ll catch up with you later!” And before he could reply Tenna was running off, leaving the door to the break room hanging ajar, and leaving him feeling completely defeated.
He heard a low whistle and turned around to glare at Pink, now joined by Yellow who was snickering beside him. Spamton balled his hands into fists, “Oh, you shut the fuck up.”
“I didn’t say anythin’.” Pink smiled that annoying tight lipped smile.
“You say more than enough with your fuckin’ eyes. I-I don’t need shit from you right now.” He growled before glancing at Yellow, “Either of you.”
He snatched his lunch bag out of the fridge and practically threw himself into one of the chairs, shoulders hunched and guarded, ready to snap at the next person who decided to annoy him today.
He heard a chair leg creak beside him, though he lightened up a bit as he realized it was Blue coming to sit beside him, the usual soft look in his eyes was weaker, seeming just a bit more tired than usual. He was holding a cup of piping hot coffee, which he held out to Spamton expectantly, but he just waved it away.
Blue quietly twiddled his thumbs, “Some day, huh?”
“Don’t wanna talk about it.” He replied, mouth half full as he dug into his sandwich.
Blue hummed, nodding his head as he took a sip from his coffee, “You don’t have to, I get it.” The two sat in silence for a while, though Spamton had tuned in to some of the other chatter happening in the room.
Everyone was discussing the monsters they’d been paired with, how today had been a breath of fresh air. He rolled his eyes, everyone else was breathing it in while he was being drowned with another shitload of new responsibilities he knew he couldn’t get out of, how fun.
“I overheard your uh… assignment. Sorry about all that, Spam.” Blue said, voice gentle.
He huffed, “I’m fine you don’t need to reassure me like I’m a baby. I’ll be alright.”
Yellow sauntered over, resting his arm on his head, speaking in his most demeaning baby voice, “What, we aren’t allowed to be empathetic? We can’t cry for our poor wittle brother?” He slapped Yellow’s hands away with practiced precision, they’d been doing this teasing song and dance for his entire life, it was practically routine.
“Oh you’re just so kind and courteous aren't you?” He said, turning to stare into Yellow's eyes.
“Of course I am,” A shit eating grin stretched across Yellow’s face, “It’s just so terrible you got the… short end of the stick.”
He practically leaped out of his seat as Yellow cackled and backed away, running behind Pink to shield himself. Blue grabbed at his arm to stop him from lunging across the room, tugging him away as he and Pink began to swat at each other.
Even with his thorough annoyance, it was kind of reassuring that at least this hadn’t changed at all. His brothers were still the same old annoying pieces of shit, and it comforted him knowing that not even the world being flipped around would change how much they love to bother him, though he’d never let them know that.
He sat back down, ignoring as Yellow continued to jeer at him, slowly tuning out all the noise in the room as he began to think. Pink and Yellow always teased him, Blue was always too soft on him, and Orange never stopped talking, those were the constants in his life. He never really talked to anyone else at the office and he liked to keep it that way, so the sudden intrusion of Tenna into his perfectly curated schedule was messing with his head.
He didn’t understand why Tenna seemed to take such a liking to him. Everyone he’d ever spoken to always told him he was hard to talk with, that he was too stubborn, too much, but for once in his life he was talking to someone who seemed to be too much for him.
He was brought back to the present as people slowly began to walk back to their desks, and he glanced down at his wristwatch to realize that their fourty-five minute lunch had already slipped by in a blink. He groaned and shoved the last of his food into his mouth, and now he’d wasted his whole break thinking about some bug, fantastic.
He slowly headed back to his cubicle, fiddling with the lint in his pockets as he continued to ruminate on everything that had been thrown at him today. What was he even stressed about? He could do this, what’s so hard about talking to someone for a few hours?
He slouched into his rolling chair, glancing out the window at Mount Ebbot once more, the usual tranquility that the view brought him was now staunchly absent.
- - -
He threw his briefcase into his bed, stripping off his suit and tie before stomping over to the end of his room, grabbing hold of his black rotary phone, his personal line to the top. He didn’t know why he was the only one who had it, but he was damn sure going to use it. He angrily punched in Mike's number and waited for the line to pick up.
As soon as he heard the noise of the phone on the other end being picked up, he laid in, shouting into the receiver, “The hell's wrong with you!? Throwin’ my name out like I’m some sorta fuckin charity? Are you serious?”
Mike’s voice whispered through the line, the way it felt in his ears, it always sounded as if he was speaking inside his head and not through the phone. “This is necessary, Spamton.”
“For what? I know you think of me as your little pet project, but you can’t just-”
“You and your brothers only have this job because of my generosity.” Mike interrupted, and his jaw quickly clamped shut. “You should be more careful about how you speak to me.”
He could feel his hands shake-, from anger or anxiety-, he didn’t know. He smoothed back his hair, breathing deep, “You’re right. I- I’m sorry, boss.”
He was given no response as the line went dead, and with defeat sinking into his bones he placed the phone back onto its stand, walking over to his bed and collapsing face first into the sheets. He never knew what Mike wanted, he never told him anything, always left him in the dark and led him along without even giving him an inch. He knew it was in his best interest to listen to him, he was the only reason he even had a roof over his head, but he felt he had the right to be a little peeved.
For a while he didn’t even believe Mike was real, he seemed to be the only one who even acknowledged his existence, and nobody had even seen the guy, not even him. Maybe this was all just some long, cruel trick, and some day Mike was gonna pull the rug out from under him and leave him flat on his ass.
He rolled over, staring at the slowly turning blades of his ceiling fan, counting the divots on the popcorn pattern that lined his ceiling, chest feeling as if it was wound tight, like his lungs were twisted into a knot.
He had the tendency to be cynical, Orange always called him a downer, and he was feeling more and more inclined to agree with him. Maybe this was a good thing, maybe a little bit of change was good for him. Maybe it was a little bit pathetic that he didn’t really have that many friends outside of his brothers, and maybe Tenna was a chance to change that.
Maybe tomorrow would be kinder to him.
But he wasn’t a very lucky man.