Chapter Text
"Keep your fingers taught on the seaweed strands. If you accidentally stretch them and then release tension, they will be lopsided. The making of seaweed nets is an old art of the Metkayina, and it is high time you learn it." Ronal's words aren't stern, but calm and relaxed. Spider holds two strands of seaweed from the net and twirls them around one another over and over again to create one thicker strand.
Their work is a shared task. He twirls the seaweed together, and she binds it into the netting shape. It's repetitive, and both tasks take an equal amount of time when done right, so neither of them has their fingers idle.
He feels fortunate. Ronal is a patient teacher, and with her baby so far along, she doesn't have much to do. So she's decided to take on the task of teaching him menial work that requires a lot of sitting down and being patient. Before Kiri gave him the ability to breathe, Ronal didn't care too much about him. Whether he stayed or left didn't change her world. To her, he was just another strange Sully kid that she didn't want in her home in the first place. But now she sees him differently and believes he has a more important purpose.
Spider doesn't know about that. He simply blushes, looks away, and tells her he is just a very simple teenager like anyone else. It's uncomfortable how she places the weight of Pandora's future on him and Kiri. Believing the Great Mother is showing signs of their fates.
Quite honestly? He doesn't want that anyway.
As much as he is appreciative of Eywa's gift, he would rather have known if it truly came with strings attached.
Spider's gaze drifts to the sea while his hands continue to twirl seaweed. The air tastes saltier than normal today.
"Are you thinking about your fishing trip with Tonowari?" Ronal asks suddenly.
Spider nods: "I appreciate how much work both of you have put into helping me find my place among the people."
Ronal smiles softly. Her mate had been happy about the boy's progress for a few days now. Tonowari says he has fast reflexes and a sharp mind. Determination too. "To Metkayina, being useless is a great shame. We provide all for one another, for it is a great honor in life to spend it helping others. It's a sign of prosperity and well-being to have enough to be able to give some of it away or to lighten the load for others."
Spider likes the way the Metkayina think. They have their own core families, yes, but the sense of community here is even stronger than it was in the forest. The whole tribe is a family, no matter which island they happen to live on. "I think that's a beautiful way to live life."
"Yes." Ronal agrees. There is not much left till their net will be ready. "We all provide and carry our weight. Some of us have traditional jobs such as marui builders or fishers. Others do something creative like weaving or jewelry. And then there are those who do small amounts of all things where they are needed. They never quite master anything perfectly, but their skill set of knowing some of everything is very valuable. Like your father-"
Spider nearly chokes on air. He feels a lump in his throat and a sudden flash of distress.
"-Tsyeyk Suli helps where he is needed," /jake sully/ she concludes.
"Oh- he is not my father," Spider explains quickly, hoping the topic will be dropped. It does hurt in his heart to say a little bit, but he would never even consider lying about it or not clarifying when someone makes the wrong assumption. It would be very shameful of him to allow people to think that Jake would have a human child. Or Neytiri. His body shivers, though he can't tell if it's due to the wind or the thought of what Neytiri would do if he dared to claim she was his mother.
Ronal's head tilts, the shell on her forehead swaying with the movement. She looks thoughtful for a second and then, like she's come to an understanding: "You are Neytiri's, then. Strange for Tsyeyk not to-" /jake/
"No, I'm not Mrs. Sully's either."
Ronal's head twists to look behind her towards the jungle. Spider waits for the topic to pass and stays very much focused on what he is doing to aid that along. This is not a conversation he wants to be having.
The Tsahìk lets out an odd sound. Something between a chuckle and a snort: "Does she know this?"
What is that supposed to mean? Spider almost turns to see what Ronal is looking at, but doesn't get to when one of the woman's hands joins his and corrects how he holds the seaweed strands. "Careful," she says. "It is mine and Tonowari's job then to aid your integration into the clan. We must speak of your future here."
Spider nods: "Well, I am a hard worker. I don't complain much, and I don't take a lot of space or food. And I'd be glad to take on any work you want to give me. Even the jobs that nobody wants." He thinks this is making a good case for his right to stay. He'd been expecting the other shoe to drop about him being in Awa'atlu, and he guesses this is it. Not a Sully means no uturu. /sanctuary/
"That is not how we choose work here," Ronal assures as she pushes the boy's dreads off his face, flicking them to his back so that they don't cover up his vision. "Most people choose something they are good at and enjoy. You should do the same."
Spider's hands pause. It sets him back from Ronal's speed so he rushes to catch up the few seconds of lost time. Now is not the moment to mess up. Its his place here in the balance. For some reason, though, he feels very calm. His mind is telling him he's seconds from getting kicked out without uturu, but it's like his heart isn't behind it. He doesn't believe that Ronal would choose to send him away. He actually almost dares to think that the woman likes his company. "So I get to choose?" He confirms, his voice shy and small.
"Of course. As any other Metkayina."
He has the tattoo. Friends here too. And he is treated much nicer than he ever was by the Omatikaya. But it's nice still to have some level of confirmation.
Spider's neck runs a chill.
"And is it a fisher you long to be? Tonowari says you are skilled enough." She asks, thinking back to how longingly he had looked at the ocean. How happy he'd seemed coming back to her with Tonowari.
But Spider's neck gets a chill, a shiver that tells him that something is wrong. His hair stands up, and he brings a palm back to rub it. He smells a foresty oil in the air and knows Neytiri is nearby. He rolls his shoulders back quickly to try to release tension from his body.
"Do- you want an honest answer or a practical one?" It's a very natural question that comes out of him. He doesn't really have time to talk about what he's saying, too distracted by trying to figure out where exactly Neytiri is standing. The wind is coming from behind him but off to the right. She must be on her way home into the jungle for the scent to carry here now. He twists his neck to look behind himself, but doesn't see anything too alarming.
Ronal's voice is happy and sweet. She doesn't seem offput the way that is. How lucky the Na'vi are not to have to jump at every sound and always be alert. They are quite high on the foodchain. Sure the worry about akulas in the ocean and toruks in the forest, but attacks by them are rare. Na'vi are just so big. Spider, though- he's a snack to the big guys and a heavy lunch to anything medium-sized. There are a lot more creatures that can eat him, and some Na'vi- he also has to worry about. Even with the people here, it's hard to feel safe.
"It is your future here we are speaking of. Honesty from her heart is what I ask for." Ronal ties off the last strand of seaweed on the net and lifts it up in front of her to show Spider. It's beautiful. He feels proud of having made it together with her and wishes it will see a lot of use and catch a lot of fish.
He touches the net gently, running his fingers over the side of it, and smiles at the Tsahìk. Then slowly, he really does take a moment to think about it. Does he want to be a fisher? Not really. He doesn't like what it does to his head. "I don't like it." He mumbles with complete honesty. It would be terribly rude to lie when she's specifically asked for his honesty.
"Fishing?"
"Killing, even if it's fish," Spider clarifies. He sighs and brings his feet up on the marui path so that he can lean his chin to his knees and rest his arms around his legs. Somehow, he always ends up sitting in this position when admitting to something or having a deeper conversation. It makes him feel smaller and less noticeable. A sensation that he appreciates for how it can make him disappear. "Killing for food feels unnatural to me. I know the way we do it is fast, and they feel no pain. That it's a part of the cycle to Eywa. But I feel like they don't even have a chance to escape me. They're too small to fight back, and it makes me feel like I have no right to kill them." He tilts his head on his knees so he can look at Ronal better. Her hand is on her belly, the net cast aside next to her. He wonders if the baby is kicking. Or if his words of innocence simply make her think of her baby, who will need a lot of protection soon as it enters this world, unable to fend for itself.
"I see. I assume you do not want to be a hunter, then either. Nor a warrior?" She doesn't have much emotion in her voice now. He can't tell if it's because she's distracted or disappointed in him. It makes him frown.
"In my own right, I am already a warrior. If a battle comes, I will fight like anyone else. That is never going to change. But a hunter? No." He never felt more human than when he was tracking a kill. He'd done it in the forest. To learn and to provide sometimes when it was needed and hoped for. Chasing hoofprints or tracking scat made him feel like a predator. Pinkskin. A beast. He hates feeling that way.
Ronal nods and stands up, pulling Spider up with her. She holds the net out, and they fold it up nicely together like a sheet. "It is different to you then? Killing an animal in the jungle or killing a person?"
"Of course. No question," Spider nods. He can guess what she will say next. He's had the same exact conversation with Kiri once.
"And killing people is easier?"
Spider shakes his head: "No. But also yes. A person can fight back. A prey is just prey." Spider is just prey to too- he knows what it feels like.
Ronal tilts her head at the odd English word: "Vegetrian?"
"I only eat plants."
"No fish?"
"No fish."
Ronal makes an odd sound: "I fed you fish."
Spider shrugs: "That's ok." It's true. Ronal had fed him fish at least thrice now. It made him sick every time after he left, but the woman put in an effort to learn what he could eat. And he was intensely grateful.
She blinks, pulls the net to get it out of Spider's hands. "But I fed you fish. And you said nothing."
Spider stretches his body and chooses once again to say nothing. The day is so beautiful. The ocean surface is glimmering, and little wind waves are swaying. The sounds of Awa'atlu come from all directions. It's nice. Everyone is so happy.
"So-" Spider starts. "Can I stay?"
He doesn't have to explain the question. Ronal knows what he's asking. She smiles and places a hand on his upper back softly: "How could we ever send such a gentle creature away?"
At night, Spider is quietly speaking to Kiri around the homefire. He gets to gush about the fact that Ronal is planning his future and that he finally has the go-ahead to just stay forever. He tells her about how much he wants to be a basket weaver and how Ronal has promised to teach him to make them the Metkayina way.
Neytiri's hands snap a wooden carved spoon in half. At the sound of his voice, he thinks, so he doesn't say anything for the rest of the night.
The next day, when Spider wakes up, Neytiri has already left the marui. He slept in and is nearly late to meet up with Ronal.
She has Tsahìk duties that day, so he trails behind her as she sees a few of her people who need healing or spiritual guidance. They are both things in need of privacy, so he ends up excusing himself very quickly, even though she tells him he is free to stay.
It feels intrusive. She doesn't know him well enough to understand that.
He spends the rest of the day in the Sully marui. It's really nice to have some peace and quiet somewhere no one can really see him. And getting away from the constant sun is a relief.
Spider cleans a bit. Organizes things that have gone astray from the kids running around. Does his best to fix up the spoon Neytiri broke, but then burns it in the home fire when he is unsuccessful. He feels stupid, but still wants to help. So he moves her cooking items closer to the home fire as well as her herbs and spices. He's seen how she struggles while cooking. Reaching over to get things that are a bit too far, a grimace rising on her face from the outstretch of her pained bow arm.
He hates to see her suffering so.
She isn't grateful. He doesn't mind.
Spider goes to spend the day with Payakan and Lo'ak. Kiri comes along because he asks. All day, they make flips off the tulkun, talk about meaningless stuff, and even come back to Awa'atlu to grab Tsireya along. After that Kiri and Spider stay a bit off to the side to allow Lo'ak and Tsireya some moments alone.
The blossoming love or crush or whatever they are experiencing seems to relax Lo'ak as nervous about it as he may be. It's nice to see how well she distracts his mind from Neteyam.
It's like Tsireya allows him to be just a regular teenager again. Having a first crush, holding a girl's hand, whispering private sweet nothings as much as he dares to.
Kiri and Spider tease him just a tad on the way back home, once the sun is falling from the sky and plummeting towards the sea.
Food is ready when they get home. Neytiri sits by the home fire, illuminated by its glow. Her face is calm and almost has a happy, small smile on it as she listens to Tuk talk about how she had a tussle with another girl who yanked on her tail.
Obviously, Tuk won. She hasn't a scratch on her.
Kiri and Lo'ak rush at the food like vultures, and Spider is only left with a spot to sit on in between Tuktirey and Neytiri. He tries to gently nudge Tuk to move close to her mother, but she doesn't understand his non-verbal request. Just gets excited to restart her story to the new audience she's acquired.
Spider swallows his worries and sits down between Neytiri and her youngest. He holds his breath, all nervous and worried that he'll get yelled at, but the angry shout never comes. Neytiri's tail is extended to the side so that the tuft at the end of it rests by Tuk's leg. But this means it's circled half around Spider from behind his back. He doesn't dare change the position of how he sits, even when his legs go numb under him, too afraid he'll brush against her tail and that she'll flinch away.
Logically, he does know she isn't his mother and that she hates him, but every time she is cruel to him or openly displays how unwelcome he is, it tugs at his heart. Because somewhere deep down within himself, it does feel like his mother is rejecting him.
"Here, feel the surface of it. See how rigid it is-" Ronal says as she pulls down the long fibrous leaf of a plant in the jungle. She extends it to Spider, but he has to take a step back and remind her that, to him, the plant is very poisonous.
"I'll break out in hives, remember?" He gently says and makes a point of not going too close to the plant.
She releases it, and it springs back upright. She rubs quickly at her temple and apologizes. "Forgive me. I forgot- my mind wanders from me these days." She sighs as she turns away, picking up the basket of different plants she has already collected.
They've been in the jungle for a few hours now. She's shown him many types of fibres that can be turned into baskets, showing how to spot good quality, how to harvest the most efficiently, and how easy or difficult each fibre is to work with. This is the second time that day he's had to back up from her due to her grabbing something that can make him very sick.
She'd made a point of trying to learn what he can and cannot eat and what irritates his skin. But it's like she isn't retaining the information. It all flees from her so quickly. Perhaps it is due to the baby?
Nevertheless, he appreciates her putting in the effort, even if she isn't focusing enough to remember his words.
He's sure pregnancy is a difficult time for the mind just as much as the body.
At some point, Spider starts hearing arrows fly. He knows it's Neytiri from the whirr of them. Can see arrows on trees in the distance. Ronal makes a point of steering him away and taking him back into the village as soon as she catches on to who they are approaching.
For some reason, Ronal does not seem to like Neytiri.
When they are by the beach, and the woman is teaching him to protect his fingers from the fibres during weaving, he decides to bring it up. In a roundabout way.
"You know... I worry about her," Spider mumbles, his voice careful. He's terrified that she might overhear, even though his instincts tell him the woman isn't anywhere near.
Ronal doesn't need clarification: "Maybe, you should not be."
Spider pauses on rubbing the wet sand blend on his fingers and looks at the Tsahìk. He doubts she is serious, but her eyes confirm to him that she is. They're dull, annoyed almost at the unnamed mention of the other woman.
"If I am not- who will be?"
"It is the job of her mate," Ronal exasperates, grabbing Spider's hands and inspecting them closely to see if he has added the mixture evenly and smoothly enough. She touches him very gently.
Spider shakes his head. Jake always allows Neytiri to mourn and process things the way she wants to. At her own speed, which is usually too fast. With whatever coping tool she chooses, which is usually an unhealthy one. He fails to consider that maybe sometimes she needs to be told no because her way of dealing is unhealthy for her.
Spider can see that her shoulder is worse off. Could hear her pained and angry shouts in the forest with every single shot fired. She is so full of anger and pain that she isn't healing faster and is taking it out in ways that slow her recovery even more. A vicious cycle. And no one is trying to end it or find her some other form of help.
He doesn't need to say this outloud. Ronal sighs and knows what he is asking of her. "I will speak to her." The woman promises.
A day passes. Spider's life stays the same.
Ronal is putting in so much time to try to teach him to weave. They have their own little, slightly secluded spot near the Sully marui where they weave baskets together all day.
The Tsahìk says she feels heavy that day. That the baby is low within. He doesn't know what that means, but she is terribly slow and unsteady on her feet whenever she tries to stand up. So he makes sure she doesn't have to. He brings her water and weaving supplies. When she gets hungry, he asks for food from one of the older tribe women and brings it to her. When her children approach, he whispers to them that Ronal is rather tired that day, and they go ask for their father's help instead. He's on his feet a lot, so she doesn't have to be.
It's nice, taking care of another person. Especially because Ronal never doubts that his aid is coming from a genuine place. Usually, Na'vi assume he is putting up a front or trying to get something from them if he tries to be nice. Ronal just smiles and thanks him.
He feels fantastic that night when he gets into the Sully marui. It was a great day.
Even if he spotted Neytiri staring at him from afar on multiple occasions.
She demands that he go fish. Neytiri, that is. It's a bizarre request, but he is entirely willing to do it. Especially when she slightly nods at her wrapped-up bow arm and says she can't fish herself. He feels like that day he gets to carry his weight for the Sullys. Kind of feels grateful that she asked him and not Lo'ak.
He catches glider fins with the net he made with Ronal. She'd let him keep it, and it's the perfect size for him. Smaller than most nets and not so heavy.
It takes him hours, and once he's caught enough for the Sullys, he continues still. Because he might as well thank Ronal for all the time she spent teaching him the steps of basket weaving.
When he sends the fish to Eywa, he feels as bad as he feels every other time he's had to do it. He says the prayer separately for every single fish, hoping they get into the Great Mother's embrace quickly.
But for Neytiri, he will do it.
She is craving fish. He will get said fish.
After the Sullys have eaten, he grabs the fish he'd gotten for Ronal and happily gifts them to her. It's not like they'll be missed.