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The smile Cheng Xiaoshi has on is infectious.
The sunlight catches his expression perfectly, sweet and bright, and Lu Guang takes a moment to simply stare at him, because what else is he supposed to do? He can't ignore how perfectly framed this moment is. He can't simply dismiss how enchanting Cheng Xiaoshi is before him.
He raises his camera, and snaps a photo.
Cheng Xiaoshi blinks when he catches the flash of light, head swivelling over to him, and he zips over to Lu Guang like a moth to a flame.
"Was that the camera? Did you take a photo, Lu Guang? Did I look good?" come the questions, eager and curious.
Lu Guang sighs, trying and failing to prevent his own smile tugging at his lips. He raises a hand to press his palm against Cheng Xiaoshi's face, shoving him back. "Yes."
Cheng Xiaoshi makes a noise similar to a whine. He ducks under Lu Guang's hand on his next try and comes close, close enough that Lu Guang moves to take a step back. Then another, then another—
Yet the tree behind him doesn't quite let that happen. Cheng Xiaoshi, the idiot that he is, doesn't realise it, and only leans closer.
"Yes whaaat?" he whines, trying to nab his phone from him. "Which did you answer? I looked good? You took a photo?"
Lu Guang stares at him. He's very close now. Something twists in his chest, painful and bittersweet. His heartbeat raises exponentially, but he manages to flatten his lips and keep his impassivity as he answers. "Yes."
Cheng Xiaoshi gives him a dirty look, a pout pulling at his mouth quickly after. "Eugh, Lu Guaaang! Give that here! I wanna see!"
The other man gets closer, almost flush against him, as he reaches for Lu Guang's phone that's just barely out of reach. A free hand comes up, attempting to shove Cheng Xiaoshi back, but he's stubborn to a fault as he always is. As he shouldn't be, because being so stalwart yet reckless only leads to—
Lu Guang shakes the thought away. They both know Cheng Xiaoshi can easily take the phone if he really wants to. They both aren't willing to point it out.
Still, Cheng Xiaoshi's close. Closer still since the tree behind Lu Guang is a stubborn force and won't allow Lu Guang to melt from existence. Lu Guang's long realised the proximity between them won't be going away anytime soon, and the heat that rises to his cheeks feels unfortunately obvious.
"Idiot. Get off me," Lu Guang hisses. Cheng Xiaoshi shouldn't be this close, not really, but it's achingly nice that he is, that he's shameless no matter what Lu Guang throws at him. Passionate and unyielding in all the right ways... and sometimes wrong ways, if it's at Lu Guang's expense, not that he'd speak up seriously against it. Still, they're getting too close for comfort, and Lu Guang can feel his blush growing even further.
Cheng Xiaoshi makes a mocking noise, as if to provoke him more, then he pauses. Looks down. Realises the complete lack of distance between them.
Lu Guang sees the look dawn as clear as day, and he fights the smile pulling at his lips. No, instead, he'll watch with baited breath, trying to memorise every little detail Cheng Xiaoshi gives him.
The speed that blood suffuses Cheng Xiaoshi's cheeks is phenomenal, and the speed that he backtracks is a close second to it. He almost trips, yelling something nonsensical, but manages to save himself just in time. It's getting harder to fight the smile now — at this point, Lu Guang allows the corner of his lips to twitch. Just enough to be a smirk, anwyay.
"I, uh, that's not—I wasn't trying to—!" Cheng Xiaoshi splutters, hands up in denial as if Lu Guang's even said anything. "I wasn't doing anything, okay! You weren't doing anything, we weren't doing anything!"
Lu Guang clears his throat and coolly brushes down his jacket. He's going to completely ignore how red his own cheeks are and instead look away from him, heart beating faster than ever.
"Idiot," he says again, for lack of anything intelligent to say. Cheng Xiaoshi had been very, very close, and it's enough to make Lu Guang feel more embarrassed at the sheer thought.
He knows the deeper reason, of course. It's why he took a picture of Cheng Xiaoshi. It's why his gaze lingers for longer than he intends it to when Cheng Xiaoshi smiles. It's a frame that he wants etched indelibly in his mind, one that he can't bear to forget or lose. The words to confess such a thing hovers at the edge of his tongue, but he can't say it. He absolutely can't.
A lump in this throat grows suddenly. This won't last long. Of course it won't.
Cheng Xiaoshi looks over at him, the mortification slowly giving way to concern. He must have seen something on Lu Guang's face, which means Lu Guang hasn't been studious enough in tucking his emotions away, deep deep down.
Cheng Xiaoshi takes a step closer. "Lu Guang? Hey, I wasn't that bad, was I?"
Lu Guang stares. Then snorts. He can't help it. "No," he mutters, and stares hard at the ground, willing himself to stay composed. He can't suddenly break here. There's no context for it, and he doesn't want Cheng Xiaoshi to feel bad over something he cannot control.
There's silence between them for a moment, then movement. Cheng Xiaoshi comes close again.
Lu Guang raises his head, about to tell him that they should head back, but then warmth suddenly envelopes him. He sucks in a sharp breath, mind going blank. Tears suddenly prick at his vision and his heart thrums under his skin, painfully loud.
He can't do this. Not so soon. Not—
"Hey," Cheng Xiaoshi starts, his voice achingly soft, and Lu Guang gasps.
He can't he can't—
He brings his hands together and exits the picture.
Their room in the photo studio is quiet. Empty.
The blood has already cooled on his shirt. His own head is filled with static and Cheng Xiaoshi's smile. His hands shake where they hang, the picture on his phone staring at him accusingly from behind them.
Cheng Xiaoshi's body is downstairs. Vein has long retreated. Lu Guang's own wounds are teetering on the edge of danger, but he doesn't care for them. He just wants to grieve, to see Cheng Xiaoshi's smile one last time.
He rests his hands and stares blankly at his phone. When the screen times out, he reaches for it automatically, nudging it unlocked again. The gallery inside peers at him: a plethora of memories waiting to be relived and give him the closure he needs. The closure he hasn't been able to get the first handful of times he's looped back.
He shouldn't do this. He should call the ambulance. Get the police to go after Vein. Hunt him down himself.
Yet he knows he doesn't want to. Not when he has the power to save Cheng Xiaoshi. Not when he can make him smile again, sweet and genuine as Lu Guang has always known it.
Lu Guang swallows hard and sets his phone down. He reaches for the polaroid he's always used, the one he keeps nearby out of habit.
A golden hue splashed over the afternoon sky. Birds with their wings spread, flying and carefree. Lu Guang stares at it for a moment longer, then sets it down.
I'm so sorry, Cheng Xiaoshi.
He claps.