Chapter Text
“If you’re going to apologize, we won’t accept your apology.”
Nirei had anticipated it, and prepared for it, but it was still disheartening.
He only wanted to bring his wayward friend back, to make his class complete again, but now he was all alone. Even those whom he thought he could depend on had left him behind.
Just when he thought he had no more tears to shed.
He couldn’t sleep that evening of that fateful night.
He wanted to rant. He wanted to vent. He wanted to say all that wanted to say. He typed his heart out in the app frantically. He never knew how many pages of his notebook he would have filled had he instead written all these down, but that didn’t matter eventually.
He erased them all and typed a single question, “Why?”
Why, Sakura-san?
Why did you leave us just like that?
Why did you even go with him?
Why did you abandon your dream?
Why didn’t you say goodbye?
Why are you not talking to me?!
Sakura-san!!!
Without blinking, he pressed the send button.
He then suspected something that may explain why he wasn’t getting replies. After trying some methods several times, he figured out he was correct.
His number has been blocked.
The separation was complete.
He was lucky that Suo still met with him before going to school. However, it wasn’t as assuring as he hoped it would be. As he was going out of his house, he saw the latter’s characteristic smile start to fade. He then looked at the ground ever since, fearing that he might see something even more distressing.
How stupid am I to actually think Suo-san would still be fine with me? He just probably fetched me out of habit. Or maybe he is planning something and he was just ensuring that I would be there. I won’t blame him if he did. After all, I lost his friend.
He didn’t interact with the townspeople whom they encountered on this otherwise fine summer day. It was his companion who returned the greetings and received the gifts for the two of them.
He didn’t even pay attention to the girl from Cactus who went in front of him to greet him personally. When the eye patch-wearing teen wondered about the nature of their relationship, she readily explained what happened that first day of school.
Hero? What crap. How can someone who couldn’t save his friend and drag others around him down in the process be a hero? I wasn’t even the one who saved her from those creeps.
I know she will think less of me when she learns I lost the one who actually saved the two of us – the true hero. I should have probably heeded that warning. I was just too dumb to realize I didn’t belong here and now look where it got everyone.
The sign that the school was near was the presence of other teens clothed in the same white attire, some of whom asked what had happened.
However, he didn’t give an answer. It was Suo who came to his rescue again by trying to give a somewhat positive spin to the incident.
Good thing Kiryu-san smoothened things out with those in the tower. And luckily we accidentally activated the emergency opening mechanism so there was really no damage to the suite. But had he not been there, I would have just added another headache to the seniors. How many wars have I almost started since I foolishly accepted being the captain?
I can’t continue being the captain. Definitely. I don’t want to cause them any more trouble. I don’t even want to be vice captain again. I’m just dead weight to everyone in the class.
That won’t probably be enough. I should just quit and stop pretending I’m even fit for this school. I should just transfer, leave this town, and start again after the summer break.
A strong wind blew across the open field leading to the building, making the large green flag on the building’s facade flutter noisily. This caught his attention and so for the first time this day, he lifted his eyes.
What am I even doing here right now? I know they’ll just gang up on me when I reach the room. But I deserve it. They should have just left me behind outside that warehouse in the pier when I got knocked down by my own stupid actions.
They wasted their time on me – Suo-san, Tsugeura-san, Kiryu-san, Sugishita-san. Anzai-san stepped up to take my place for what? Umemiya-san just delayed what was inevitable. And I disappointed them all.
How dare I even step foot in here? How dare I show myself to anybody from Furin? How dare do I even show myself to anybody in this town?
Considering the height of the building made another thought come to his mind.
What if… I jumped from the top, would he suddenly come and catch me? Would that be enough to make him come back? But probably it would be better if…
His stream of consciousness was only broken when he noticed his companion staring at him. He thus shook his head and put his head down again before continuing to walk.
He tried to create a speech that he thought could explain his side but he couldn’t organize his thoughts until his eye patch-wearing friend opened the door of their classroom for him.
He was already expecting it, but his heart still sank as he saw, from his peripheral vision, his classmates gathered at an open space in the room, ready to confront him. In front of them was Anzai, arms crossed.
He turned to his friend to try to seek consolation, but the latter easily slipped from his side to stand beside the other vice captain. He thought he could still avail of the solace that was offered to him that night in the suite which he had rejected.
As he suspected, he was correct. Suo was planning something – all of them were.
He averted their gazes. He wanted to leave but he was frozen in place and the door had already been closed behind him.
He felt his legs turn to jelly.
“Nirei,” Anzai addressed him by his name for the first time since that rooftop meeting, a sign that things were serious.
Of course, no apology would make up for what he did to them. The blond thus fell down on his knees at the words, hands planted in front of him, eyes down on the floor.
“Don’t even think of quitting and leaving. We’ll go through all the trouble just to drag you back here. You can never escape or run away.
“Whatever happened has already happened; you can never do anything about it. You just have to face the consequences.”
Yet he never cried. He should have been a sobbing mess right now, being justly confronted by those whom he failed. However, he had already gone numb from hearing Anzai’s first words. He stared at the floor, jaw slacked as his classmate’s words went in one ear and exited the other.
“Because,” Anzai continued, “you didn’t do anything wrong.”
Just when he thought he had no more tears to shed, Nirei started hyperventilating and then broke down.
He finally lifted his eyes at his classmates’ faces and realized that they weren’t angry at him.
Suo then approached him and went down so the two of them would be at eye level. “Nire-kun, like what we told you before, we all know how much you invested in this. If someone has to be blamed for what happened, it will never be you. None of us is blaming you so please don’t think of us that way.” He smiled at him and offered him a handkerchief.
The blond wiped away his tears. Despite still sniffling, he accepted the help of his friend to stand up.
The other vice captain spoke again, this time less sternly and with arms on the sides. “Take your time to accept what happened, but I hope you could grant us this request. If you want or if it makes things easier for you, take it as your way to atone for whatever you think you did wrong.”
“Be our captain again – no longer to lead us in finding Sakura or as his benchwarmer but as our actual leader.” He looked directly at the one he was addressing. “It was difficult for all of us to accept what he did, but your initiative and determination to do everything to get him back fueled our hope that we will see him again. Had you not been here, where would we have been, what would have happened to us after what Sakura did? But thanks to you all of us became united in fulfilling that goal even if it didn’t turn out the way we wanted it to.”
“Please, we still need you, Boss.”
Nirei, visibly puzzled, turned to Suo. It was one thing to be forgiven and another to still be wanted by those whom he failed.
The eye-patch-wearing teen then replied, “Nire-kun, Sakura-kun can no longer be a student even if he appeared right now, but you’re still here. Don’t you think you should fulfill Sakura-kun’s dream for him?
“We’re not saying that you become him. Of course, that’s impossible because you two are different. You will always be you, determined, detail-oriented, always wanting to contribute, always trying to go beyond what you can do.
“We know it won’t be easy especially after what happened, but you won’t be alone. We’ll be with you, all of us–”
“Nirei,” Sugishita interrupted, irritated that this was taking too long, “do not waste Umemiya-san’s good will towards you.”
Suo then turned towards the shorter and smiled. “So what do you say?”