Work Text:
Her feet hit the roof of the house with a soft thud. The cold air nipped at her nose. It was early morning just a little after five in the morning. And she stood at the window hesitating with her fingers at the base of the window. Exhaling she pushed it up and went into dropping down in the room. Her eyes danced around the walls covered in pictures and lights hanging in different shades of purple and blue. The bed was still neatly made as she’d left it months ago.
Everything is in order, clean and neat. She made her way to the bedroom door and into the hallway. She was met with different colored lights hung up along with little nutcrackers standing at the end of the hall. It smelled of freshly baked cookies along with cinnamon. As she made her way down the stairs. She admired the lights wrapped around the handrail.
When she hit the last step her eyes were drawn to the Christmas tree . Big and bright decorated perfectly with the star sat on top. Gifts were under the tree and she made her way to look at the names. Lowering herself on the ground crisscrossed. She grabbed the first gift and it read her name setting it to the side she saw were all for her. Five of them wrapped perfectly.
She felt a sad feeling creep its way into her chest. Making her frown. She was doing all this for her mom. Her mom wouldn’t want a killer for a daughter. And she didn’t want to put her mom in danger. What she did. What she’s doing would only one day come back on her and she didn’t want her mom in the crossfire.
Picking up the gift she had sat to the side she sat it in her lapping tracing her finger across the paper. She looked around the room, her eyes landing on the fireplace where a light fire was burning and three stockings hung. One for her dad, one for her mom and finally her. As always many different pictures sat in the fireplace. A Christmas photo from years ago when she was younger. Her parents on their wedding day, her holding up a small trophy and many more with tons of memories and ghosts of the past.
All this for one person her mom was the only one who lived here anymore all alone, the guilt was eating her alive. She was just supposed to find her dad to bring him back. But he is gone and she might as well be too. She sat in the warmth and homey atmosphere of the house till the sun rose gift still in her lap.
Without thought she sat it aside and pulled her bag from off her back. She pulled out three wrapped gifts. Sitting them under the tree. Finally pulling herself off the ground she picked up her bag and walked over to the fireplace. She pulled a small box from her pocket and placed a small velvet box right next to the family picture. Then she went in the bag and pulled out a simple dark purple card and put it in her mom’s stocking.
Turning around she picked up the same present she'd been holding onto all morning. She made her way back upstairs in her one and lightly closed the door. And just as she was going back through the window. She heard her mothers voice.
“I know you're there but I want you to know that you're always welcome home no matter what happens no matter what you do,” there is a pause and she hears her mother sigh.
Unintentionally she walks over to her room door lightly letting her head lean against the door. “I know more than you think I do baby but when the time comes please come home,” she heard her mother sniff.
And her heart tightened but she stayed still barely breathing. Meeting her mom with s silence keeping herself disciplined not allowing herself to speak but it was killing her.
Her mother let out a faint laugh that sounded full of sadness “just like your father I see your strong She my baby girl so do what you have to do,” and that seemed like the end.
But her mom spoke up again, her voice soft and determined, full of love “I love you always baby girl,” and that was her mom’s way of telling her baby goodbye for now.
She stood there, eyes watering but she sucked it in and held herself together. The silence she wanted to keep still standing between the two. But it was automatic, something that she couldn’t control and the words came out before she could think about them.
“I love you too momma,” and her breath caught in her throat.
She hear her mom laugh “I know,”
She left out the window quickly closing the window behind her. When she stepped out she fell through a portal landing as softly as she could on the floor. She knew he was here but she didn’t say anything but adjusted her bag and headed towards her room. He grabbed her shoulder.
“We can talk about it,” he said, his voice kind as always.
She simply shrugged him off going to her room. She always feels bad when pushing her mentor away but she’s never been good with emotions unless with family. But right now in this moment she deemed it ok cause it was all too much. Things only she would ever know and never tell. She sat on her bed and saw the box in her lap. Taking the wrapping paper off. It was a flash drive. She picked up her laptop and plugged it in. It came on and words showed up first a collection of things through the years to our sweet girl. And she smiled.
And she watched it on without a break hours of videos of her and her family. But she knew deep down that at the end of the day she was no longer that girl; she was a killer, a mercenary. No matter the reason she still killed people and even though now she was being peaceful this would only last for small moments and she’d be back to her daily. The ghost, the killer, the assassin and she’d learn to leave with that. But sometimes the silence was too loud.