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Hux sometimes wonder if he’s died and become a ghost in the last few weeks; he seems to be endlessly haunting the hallways of the Finalizer. Sleep? He can’t remember when he last slept properly. All he gets is an hour here or an hour there, always dreaming the same thing, always jolting awake from the anxiety clawing away at his insides. The sight of Kylo in the snow… all that blood. Hux was a soldier for kriffs sake, he shouldn’t be bothered by blood! Except he was. Because it was Kylo’s blood, and there was so much of it already, so much that he didn’t even dare look for a pulse, because what if… what if it had been too late? To hells with any punishment Snoke could have given him at that point - nothing would compare to the loss of Kylo.
Nothing.
But the Knight had been clinging on to life, if only just barely, and Hux had cradled him to his chest like a fragile thing - his heart breaking into so many pieces when Kylo begged him to leave, to get to safety, to not waste precious time on someone who wasn’t worth it. His heart breaking even further when the Knight told him he loved him, thanked him for loving him back, for the memories. He’d been unconscious since.
First the bacta tank, for so long the medics were beginning to worry. No one knew what effect it would have on him to be in a tank for so long. In the end, they’d asked Hux’ permission to take him out of it, put him on life support outside the tank - informing him that he might not make it. Hux had asked them to try, anything to help him - anything. But he’d drank almost his entire liquor supply that night, trying to prepare himself for the bad news. They didn’t come. It was touch and go for several days, but he stayed alive, and Hux spent every second he could by his side. Nothing else mattered. To hells with the First Order, to hells with Snoke, and Starkiller, and the bloody Resistance.
He’s recovering, they’d told him a couple of weeks ago. He’s recovering, but it’s slow. We don’t know when he’ll wake up, but he’s recovering.
Hux clung to that with all he had, as the now defected crew of the Finalizer headed for the Unknown Regions, looking for somewhere safe for all of them to start over.
He’s recovering. He’s recovering. I haven’t lost him. I still get to tell him how much I love him. He’s recovering. We’ll be together again soon.
“Kylo, please wake up. Don’t you understand, you fool? You are worth it. You were always worth it.”
As always, the only answer was silence. Kylo was still asleep. Still recovering.