Chapter Text
N could talk on and on about just how much he loved Uzi. Her little mischievous grin, how she was filled with such sass and yet also so much care at the same time, how she’d risked her own life for him and V countless times, her fashion sense which made her so utterly adorable at times even if she preferred to be seen as “Cool” or “Edgy.”
He could spend hours on just that one topic, and he has! Several times actually, much to the dismay of any drone within his vicinity when he had such an urge to talk nonstop about her. Especially when the aforementioned girl wasn’t around to witness it. Despite how N loved to be basically attached to her hip, it wasn’t always the case.
He’d be left to his own devices whenever she needed alone time or went out exploring, which he’d never think of interfering with of course. Even if it made his rambling moments about her even worse. He just couldn’t help it! Every drone in the bunker knew how much he loved her by now, which really went to show just how bad he was at keeping those thoughts in.
Or well, he was more so just bad at keeping the normal thoughts in. He knew how to shut his mouth when he started thinking of how he felt more than just affection for Uzi. And as much as he scolded himself for it, he really couldn’t help that either though.
She was just so- Pretty. It was one of the only ways N felt he could describe her correctly. Her hair, her clothes, her eyes, her spitfire personality that seemed to flare up at the sheer mention of the word in relation to her. All of it made her pretty to him. His tail wagged like a dog’s over thinking about it for even a moment.
She didn’t even have to do anything to get him so swoony, and in fact it mostly happened when she wasn’t around really. He always felt so embarrassed because of it, how much he wanted to just stare and watch her as she did stuff around the bunker. To just sit off in a corner or in the rafters looking down at her, getting antsy every time she turned her back to him unknowingly. It would be so easy to just jump down and strike with her like that. To tackle her and watch as she struggled under him and begged and pleaded and-
N sat up abruptly, startling the few drones that hadn’t noticed him on top of the storage box he had climbed. He’d gotten bored a while ago with Uzi gone on another scrap hunt, and ended up just watching some drones working inside a warehouse sector. His code was screaming at him to crouch back down, to stalk, to get to a better vantage point, but he ignored it knowing that even if he did, it wouldn’t be the same as watching Uzi.
He needed to get his weird instincts under control before he pounced on one of these workers instead. He didn’t think he actually would do it, but the thought that he could unsettled him deeply. He hated whenever his body acted like this, like he was out of control or some insatiable animal. Even if he technically was, he should be better than this!
He climbed up into the vent right above him to escape before he let his brain get any more hazy, already set on where he should head. He’d memorized how to get to the nest his partner made up the air tunnels the moment he knew where it was. He went through each with practiced efficiency, though became more restless in his movements the closer he actually got to it.
He wanted Uzi to actually be in that nest, even if he knew it was impossible. Wanted to find his partner - his mate - and chitter at her. To press in close to her so he could enjoy the sweet lavender scent she had. His mouth filled with artificial saliva at the thought, and made him refocus on how his claws had accidentally started scratching against the metal surface of the vents. He hadn’t even realized they’d come out until now, instincts once again overriding his train of thought.
He carefully retracted them before pulling himself into the little storage unit Uzi had claimed as her second nesting spot. It was a small space, just enough to fit them along with V inside it and some extra room. It was cozy though, decorated using stickers and purple fairy lights once Uzi had calmed down from her heat. The nest she’d made was even cozier, made from a mix of all of their stuff and compacted neatly into a corner.
N readily laid himself inside it, and even though it was worker-drone sized it was still comfortable. He mostly enjoyed it for how it was drowned in Uzi’s scent though. Even just taking in a short breath filled his senses with it, making him shut his eyes for just a moment to enjoy it. Blush dusted his visor as he finally let his earlier thoughts settle in, code buzzing with instincts of Mate Mate Mate and Claim Claim Claim.
He always felt- weird. Taking ‘care’ of himself like this. In some ways it felt wrong, thinking of Uzi like this without her knowing or later telling her. He wanted to tell her, really wanted to actually, but he always ended up chickening out because he was worried it would freak her out. The thought alone was stupid, because he knew who Uzi was and knew she’d still love him regardless, but the fear always won anyway.
What if she thought he was gross or too needy? What if she didn’t want to mate with him? What if the thoughts he shared were too much and she’d become scared of him again?
Each of those thoughts was stupid on its own, but together they overwhelmed him into keeping this to himself. He just needed some quick relief and then could go back to shutting up about this for the next couple days until it happened again. And again. And again. And-
He cut himself off, rolling over onto his stomach so he could actually focus on this. A shaky breath left him as he got his hips into the right position, angling himself over a firmer part of the nest. He eased into it, slowly pushing his hips back and forth until he eventually settled into a deep rutting motion. He imagined the lump under him as Uzi, her delicate pale body pressed up against his chest and squirming in time with his thrusts.
He purred at that, recalling the noises she’d made back when she was in heat. How she cried out for him and V to breed her at the same time. She was so pretty like that, so needy for the both of them. She smelled so good too, this thick sweet scent that wouldn’t leave his senses for hours once he got a whiff of it. He remembered how he’d sit in the spot where it was strongest back when he wasn’t able to track it, taking in deep breaths and missing her so deeply.
A groan echoed from him before he bit down on the edge of the nest, teeth lightly tearing into the squishy fabric as he moved a hand under his coat to open his hatch. He was only half hard despite how needy he felt, his grinding against the nest barely giving any meaningful stimulation. He whined because of it, pushing his hips harder into the nest to try and get himself more worked up.
It’d been like this the last few times he’d tried to do this as well. He’d get himself so hot and bothered thinking of Uzi only to struggle actually getting off once he started trying to touch himself. No matter how hard he thrusted or jerked himself or what position he tried it all gave him pitiful stimulation at best. It was like his body was denying him this, filling his head with thoughts of “Mate, need to breed with my mate, nothing else is good enough” and making him suffer for it.
He couldn’t just find Uzi right now though. She was busy, and he didn’t want to seem creepy by hunting her down just to have sex with her. Even if he shuddered at the idea intensely. Going out into the snow, tracking her down by just her scent, using all of the senses that got built into him to find exactly where she was, before taking her by surprise and just growling down at her. Showing her how much he needed her right now, which was almost overwhelming in his current state.
Tears pricked his eyes as he kept rutting against the nest, although really it had just turned into pathetic humping by now. He whined and pleaded for it to be enough, for it to feel even slightly good so that he could just be done with this. The longer it went on the more shame built up inside him, so desperate and needy because he missed his mate and couldn’t tell her just how badly he needed her.
He wanted to though. He wanted and wanted, just like he wanted to kiss her and nuzzle her and cuddle skin to skin. He wanted to love her like this, so deeply and passionately with hopes that it would be returned. He wanted to smell like her, and for her to smell like him. To show everyone that they were a bonded pair committed to each other. The tears that welled on his visor now actually started falling as he gave up, starting to wail softly in pitiful distress for how much he missed Uzi. Her scent, her touch, her love for him. He wanted her love so badly, to have her love him like this. He needed it. Needed to know if she would love him like this, as animal as it was.
Even if he couldn’t put the words together on how this was different to him than just sex, because mating meant so much more. It was coded so deeply into him that he couldn’t begin to explain, but he needed it badly. To have Uzi as his mate, to have her trust and claim him back, but the thought of that being potentially rejected utterly broke his digital heart.
He finally had enough once he managed to pull himself out of his crying, realizing just how badly he screwed himself by holding this all in. It was eating him alive already, and he couldn’t take it. His body was screaming at him to find Uzi, to ramble on and on about how much he loved her while chittering and flashing his wings like mates do. To bring her a gift and hope that she returned the feelings from deep inside him. He needed to be her mate, not just her boyfriend or partner.
He sat up on his knees to try and collect himself a bit further, tears streaking his visor in a way that made him look utterly wrecked. Pathetic even. He knew he needed this now, and would do just about anything to finally get through it.
He retracted his tentacle back into his hatch before sealing it closed, a tempered heat now burning in his circuits as he shuffled his way out of the space and back down into the vent system. He moved almost on autopilot, climbing even higher now to find an exit gate. With his overworked senses he could smell snow leaking from above him, the cold of it harsh but a welcomed bit of shock.
He could also catch the faintest hint of acid now, and in this area it definitely wasn’t his own and unlikely to be V’s. It meant Uzi had taken this same tunnel to go scrap hunting, meaning she probably wasn’t too far from here as well. He moved quicker at that, shoving his head through the one way gate once he reached the true roof of the bunker, beginning to pant so he could take in deep breaths through his mouth.
He could smell so much deeper like this thanks to the sensor in his upper jaw, and even through the snow storm that was starting to pick up. The way it began to cloud his vision only served to further activate his senses, ones deep rooted into him from the moment he got turned into a disassembler.
Find. Track. Hunt.