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"you know you can't keep that right?"
Carmen brought his attention back to her, she was pointing at his crackle rod, which he had previously been looking at, wondering what to do with it.
He smiled at her, "Yes, I do, I was actually just wondering what to do with it"
He had wondered a lot about tonight, but he could've never thought that it would end with him joining black sh-carmen's side. She'd rejected his offer and put forth that he join her instead, and weirdly, he'd found himself considering it, maybe it was how she'd sounded when she told him that she wanted them to be on the same side, maybe it was the knowledge that he was the only one she was asking this of, not of the people who'd raised her but of the person she'd only known for a year, when she'd left, he'd thought that he hadn't mattered to her as much as she had to him, but maybe he had, she was asking him to come to her side after all.
It'd taken a bit more prompting but he'd ultimately conceded by the time the train stopped.
They would've been gone by now if the device in his hand hadn't occurred to him, considering their history and the devices aim, as well as how she seemed to have such immense dislike for it, a far cry from when both of them had gazed at it with amazement in Dr Bellum's class. He'd come to the conclusion that his signature device (weapon didn't have the best connotations) wasn't welcome.
"Here's a suggestion, you leave it on the tracks, let the train do the job of getting rid of it for you" she said cheerfully, he would've mistaken her for being sarcastic if she didn't sound so happy.
He looked at her blankly, "Thanks but no, this has been with me for over a year now, I'm not leaving it to such a cruel fate" well, that was only part of the reason why.
"Well, whatever you're going to do, figure it out quickly, we need to get out of here" she glanced at the entrance to their compartment, as if expecting someone to burst in at any moment.
Getting the sense that somebody was on her tail, probably a law enforcement officer looking to catch her, he replied, "I'll just throw it somewhere nearby, out of sight, the cleaners will come look when they don't hear from me, they'll probably find it then"
She turned towards him, arching an eyebrow. "You seem very attached to that, you haven't had it for that long"
"Well, that's only part of the reason, the other is that you're the one who gave it to me"
Her expression changed to one of surprise, clearly not expecting that the weapon she so disliked was dear to him because of her.
"After you left, I didn't think I'd see you again, and all I had as reminders of you was this rod and your dolls, which I obviously couldn't keep"
"Kinda ironic, that I brought it today with the intention of bringing you back to VILE, and getting rid of you, if you didn't agree" he struggled to get the latter half of the sentence out, to think that he'd prepared for their reunion with the possibility that it could be their last time seeing each other, and he could be the reason why.
"I didn't know you kept it because of that, I just remembered you really liked it and thought that was it" her voice came out low, and (unless he was imagining it) touched that that had been the reason.
"Yeah, well, until a few minutes ago, I was under the impression that I didn't really matter to you, so I guess that's two misunderstandings cleared"
She looked at him in confusion, "why would you think that?
"Well, after you left, I didn't know why, and I didn't think I'd see you again either, and I thought if you could just up and leave like that, then I probably didn't mean much to you"
The words had barely left his mouth when she took a step toward him, they had already been close since they were both standing in the middle of the compartment but now they were just a few inches apart, previously where she had been confused, she looked upset and a bit angry.
"That's not true, you do matter to me, a lot, I didn't have a chance to reach you when I was planning to escape, or else I would have asked you to come with me, I want us to be on the same side, and that you're not affiliated with VILE because you matter so much to me", it'd all come out fast, and it had ended like a plea, as if asking him to believe her when he already did, he didn't speak though, too stunned by her sudden outburst, he hadn't expected what he'd said to affect her that much.
She spoke again, this time a question, "you don't still think that, do you?"
He found his voice now, "No, of course not, you knew that you were being baited and still came thinking that it was me, I mean, what could be more obvious than that?"
Her gaze softened, and she looked like she was about to agree but something occurred to her midway, and she replied negatively.
"Hmm I don't know, I think I could make it a bit more obvious"
She stepped closer, there hadn't been much distance between them but she almost closed it, her head tilted a bit, her lips almost touching his, he'd fully been expecting her to kiss him, and it took him a moment to realise that she was giving him a chance to back away if he wanted to, she didn't have any indication he felt the same after all.
Just like up until a few seconds, he hadn't either.
He answered her unspoken question by bringing his lips to hers, and she responded immediately wrapping her arms around him while his went to her hair.
He felt lighter than he'd felt for days, like fireworks were going off, and all in the world suddenly ceased to exist except for this moment, he felt warm inside, whether from their combined body heat or something else he didn't know.
It was another thing he hadn't expected to happen tonight, kissing his best friend, though he supposed they were more than friends now.
He hadn't understood what carmen had meant about making it more obvious, but he understood now, this was certainly one way of letting someone know you mattered to them.