Archive of Our Own

It had been a quiet Friday afternoon at the Bittles. There was still uncommonly much snow left out on their front yard for being in the middle of April, but warmer times were slowly approaching, and the last of that day’s sunrays were carefully making the remaining ice and snow thaw away, peaceful waterdrops dripping irregularly by their kitchen window.

Bitty was sitting with Becky by the kitchen table, the young girl finally having tentatively started colouring the drawing in front of her, her pencil strokes firm and steady as they softly continued their conversation. She was recounting something that had happened at school when she turned to face him, her brilliant and stunning smile blinding him for a few moments.

Becky had been having a rough couple of weeks. Jack and Bitty had worried that she was falling into a depressive episode, but their little girl was nothing if not a fighter. Things were slowly turning around for her, and she was scrambling to piece together some of her routines again. So Bitty had been waiting for that smile all day, and stroked her hair fondly as she returned her attention to the drawing, the strands still damp after her afternoon swim practice.

He had been thinking about treating her to a little get-away for some time now. Just the two of them, or maybe Jack too if he wanted to. A chance for her to get away from the usual hubaloo of the rest of their family. Now, he knew Becky was as fond of their family’s never ending zest and frolicking as the rest of them were. But he had also learned that you needed regular breaks from it from time to time.

There was a reason to why Jack had no problem with the 40 minutes long drive home from work every day.

If they waited for school to end for the summer and the hockey season to finish up, they could go up to Québec and the family cabin, leaving the rest of the kids with Jack’s parents. Or he could take her down to Georgia pretty straight away, letting her go for early spring swims in the minor lakes. But then they didn’t know if they were going for a transatlantic trip in August yet, and if the kids would have to miss school for that and...

“When did you say that Karim was coming?”

Breaking him out of his daydreaming, Becky looked up at him hopefully, and Bitty had to grab hold of his coffee cup standing on the table to anchor himself in the present again.

“Oh, I don’t know, darling,” he said before he took a sip of the now lukewarm beverage. “He said by five, but y’all know how traffic can be. But it should be any minute now.”

Her lower lip jutted out in a pout as she returned to her coloring, but it was the good humored kind, and Bitty chuckled as he smiled at her fondly.

Karim had moved to Pittsfield after graduating high school to finally invest in his gymnastics career. Jack and Bitty had been insistent in that education would always be prioritized before sports up until high school at least, for all of their children. And Karim had, only slightly begrudgingly, agreed to their terms, postponing his professional career up until he had stood with a diploma in hand. Every minute since the graduation ceremony had been entirely dedicated to his love for the performance sport though.

But all of his hard work and dedication was paying off. The national championship that determined if he would get to go to the Olympics or not was only mere weeks away.

And Bitty swore that it gave him heart palpitations every time someone mentioned it.

(Why had he chosen to dedicate his life to loving professional athletes was beyond his own comprehension. They were honest to god cutting years off of his life with every competition. Lord help him.)

Earlier that week, Jack and his boys had headed into the first round of the Stanley playoffs. The second game was coming up that weekend, and Karim was coming down to catch it with them. And they were all fairly excited for his return back home.

Taking another sip of his cooling coffee as Becky sank deeper into her coloring process, Bitty shifted his gaze to inspect the rest of his children. Josué sat with his geography homework spread out all over the living room dining table, scratching his head helplessly as he tried to not let his attention drift away to whatever show Danielle was watching while lounging on the couch. Bitty smiled around his coffee cup as he made a mental note to ask Jack to help him later that night.

Bitty didn’t know if Danielle had already completed all of her homework or if she was simply procrastinating it. But she had a sharp head on her shoulders, and academic deadlines had never been a problem with her, so he wasn’t overly worried. Her and general deadlines on the other hand, now that was huge factor behind his many worry lines.

Ana and Min were watching over Chris, making sure he didn’t upset Buttercat too much with his roughhousing, Chris still wearing his beanie and Min’s hockey stick just thrown down somewhere behind her on the floor. Ana was still struggling with how to best tie their hair up in their new hairstyle, and had to wrestle with Buttercat in order for her to not tear it all out.

They had somehow found some old pictures of Lardo sporting her sidecut senior year of college, and had immediately demanded that they got the chop too. Lardo and Shitty had gleefully complied, and now their long dark curls only fell from the right side of their head, and Bitty had to argue every morning to get a hat covering their pretty little ears.

Chris was completely fascinated with the alteration, and wouldn’t stop petting the shaved side of his siblings head every chance he got. Min was constantly caught somewhere in between being awestruck and chirping, and as a result mostly avoided addressing the change altogether.

Min was also caught right in between the hockey and baseball seasons, and Bitty could see the gears constantly turning behind her eyes. She was still dead set on becoming the best baseball player there ever was. But she had finally reached that treacherous age when things were starting to work against her. She would have to gather determination of steel and a prodigious resilience in the coming few years if she was to chase that goal.

And hockey was just… Safer. And she was a good hockey player. A darn good hockey player. She could easily make it to the top if she just set her mind to it.

But that wasn’t her dream.

And why on earth Bitty had decided to dedicate his life to overachieving athletes, he never knew.

And much like with Ana’s new hairstyle, Min had a tendency to just ignore what was bothering her altogether and push her problems ahead of herself, hoping that they would resolve themselves on their own. And it pained Bitty to see her in such conflict, and good lord, how on earth would he approach this in the best way, and...

“Dad? I’m home!”

Bitty barely had time to register what he was hearing before all of the kids were up from whatever they were doing and sprinting out into the hallway.

“Karim!!”

Smiling to himself as he set down his drained cup of coffee, he rose out of his own chair and slowly followed the mayhem in the wake of the minor tornado that was his children.

The homecomer barely had time to throw his bags on the floor inside the front door before he was assaulted by a horde of smaller kids. Karim wailed dramatically as his siblings surrounded him, falling over and everyone collapsing in a giggling heap on top of him, months worth of chirps and tickling flooding out all at once.

Bitty allowed his children to wrestle with their older brother on the floor for a while, his heart swelling in his chest by the familiar sight. But as Chris started to get dangerously close of being trampled and the hair pulling started, he had to break up the small huddle, letting the smaller children calm down and allowing Karim to catch his breath.

He just stood inspecting his oldest son for a while, finally able to analyse the changes that had occurred over these last couple of months in person. He hadn’t necessarily grown taller, but he had grown… Stronger. He finally seemed to have grown into his limbs, standing more secure and sure of himself in his place. His eyes were lit up with an energy Bitty had never seen in them before, and his dimples had grown deeper. He seemed so full of life and at peace with himself, and Bitty was so very fiercely happy for him. His hair was also awfully unkempt, but Bitty could let that slide just this once.

“C’mere,” he said as he finally pulled his son into a hug, a relief to have him back home again.

“I’ve missed you, dad,” Karim chuckled against his hair, and the laughter came so easy to his voice, which only made Bitty squeeze him harder, reluctant to let go now that he finally got a hold of him again.

“I’ve missed you too, sweetheart.”

“Is papa home?” Karim asked as his eyes sparked up hopefully, expectantly looking around the house as he was eventually released from his father’s embrace.

“No, he had to go into the office today. Y’know, a lot of preparations now before the playoffs,” Bitty said as he playfully bumped into Karim’s shoulder. Karim was actually the only one of their children to never having been part of a hockey team, and that fact had been the foundation for a huge amount of chirps that had taken place inside their home’s four walls. Karim just made a face at him, and Bitty laughed, and it felt just like old times.

Bitty offered to take Karim’s bags to Josué’s room, leaving the kids to make sure that their brother settled in back at home. And as they sauntered into the house, he could hear Danielle dragging Karim off to show him the new tricks that she had taught Butter while he was gone.

The novelty of Karim’s return quickly faded. He was after all just their big brother, and even though they all loved him, they had also forgotten how kind of lame he was, and that he had lived with them all for countless of years before his departure.

So everyone easily fell into old routines again, most of the kids returning to what they had previously been doing. And meanwhile, Bitty found himself with some quiet time with Karim in the kitchen, slowly starting mapping out their dinner while his son made himself a smoothie, effortlessly dancing around each other like no time had passed at all.

“Are you sure you’re doing okay honey?” Bitty asked for maybe the millionth time as he looked up from where he had dropped the potatoes down into the sink to be cleansed. “Are you eating enough?”

He cupped his son’s cheek, and even though he logically knew that Karim had been gaining weight in muscle like crazy these last couple of months, his paternal instincts convinced him that he looked much too thin.

“I’ve got a nutritionist dad,” Karim responded with a tone of voice that was just a teeny bit too close to chirping, a smirk tugging at his lips. “You know, you’ve encountered them before.”

“I know,” he huffed as he returned to the potatoes, turning on the tap in order to start scrubbing the tubers clean. “And I don’t like ‘em.”

Karim chuckled brightly.

“She’s helping me get to the Olympics though, so I think she’ll do.”

“I’ll have the final say in that.”

Karim’s rippling laughter filled the entire kitchen, and it may have been the sweetest sound Bitty had heard in months.

“But it is nice to be home again,” he said with a quick peck to Bitty’s cheek.

“And it’s nice to have you home, sweetheart.”

Bitty had just enough time to dry off his hands in order to stroke across his son’s back as he walked off to join his siblings again. Throwing the towel over his shoulder, he leaned back against the counter as he watched Karim sit down next to Josué and Becky, having relocated to share her brother’s company after Bitty had moved into the kitchen, the older boy sipping on his dreadful kale-peanuts hodgepodge while affectionately poking fun at his siblings’ work. Bitty smiled at them fondly before glancing at the clock again.

Just before 6. Jack would be home soon.

He slowly found himself melting into the stone counter, his bones mellowing within him as he tipped his head back, smiling as he listened to the sounds of his family. It had been a long day, and he looked forward to just pulling his husband close, peaceful in the knowledge that all of his babies were under the same roof again, a calm and uneventful evening with just the nine of them lying ahead…

He was jarred out of his half-daydreaming by the front door slamming shut. He looked up just in time to catch Jack, pausing by the doorway only long enough for Bitty to catch his haunted look, the way his trembling hands curled into fists so tight that his knuckles whitened, his tie and suit jacket discarded somewhere else, gone again before Bitty had time to fully react.

“Jack?” He called up the already empty staircase, pushing himself away from the counter and throwing the towel onto the kitchen island, only to be met by the sound of their bedroom door slamming shut too.

“Papa?”

Bitty turned around at the sound of Danielle’s voice, the girl standing in the doorway leading into the living room, sharing the same look of concern at their father having so unceremoniously entered their home as her siblings. Bitty took a deep breath as he carded a nervous hand through his hair, nerves trickling with worry just underneath his skin.

“Umm, y’all stay here for a few minutes while I go…”

“Papa?” Bitty had not even gotten the chance to start turning around before Chris had run into the kitchen, standing bright eyed in front of him, hopefully waiting for his papa to come scoop him up into the air like he usually did on late evenings.

And Bitty’s heart broke a little as he had to crouch down by his youngest son, trying to put on a brave face.

“I’m afraid papa’s not feeling very well tonight baby, but I’m sure he’ll be right back soon,” he murmured as he gently brushed some of Chris’ unruly hair out of his face. “Why don’t you play Froggy with Karim meanwhile?”

Looking up at his oldest one with a pointed look, Karim got the clue right away.

“Yeah, c’mon Crissy, I heard that you thought you could beat me, just because I’ve been away for a few months?”

“Oh!! I’m so good now, you gonna see…”

The younger boy practically dragged away his brother, who gave Bitty a small thumbs up as they retreated, giving Bitty the opening he needed in order to sneak up to his and Jack’s bedroom.

Knocking softly before cracking the door open, he poked a head through only to find the room vacant.

“Jack?” He asked again as he fully entered the room, softly closing the door behind him again.

Jack stumbled out of their bathroom, tripping over his own feet, his breathing jagged, his eyes bloodshot and his hands trembling at where they were tearing at his shirt. He was already half naked, having successfully teared off his pants, but Bitty feared that he would tear the fabric of his shirt to pieces before he could undo all the buttons.

His eyes met Bitty’s, and Bitty’s heart froze by the raw terror he saw in them.

“I…”

Bitty inhaled again, forcing his own heart to settle down, commanding himself to stay calm as he addressed his frantic husband again.

“Jack, what’s going on?”

“I… I…”

It was then when his breathing betrayed him, and he just panted helplessly as his whole body started to shiver, and then he was crying, stumbling back into and sliding down the wall, dropping down hard on the floor, ragged sobs breaking through his hyperventilating.

Bitty tentatively approached him, gently crouching down in front of him and cautiously reaching out a hand to grab hold of one of Jack’s shaking ones. He knew that touch could be a sensitive issue at the time, that all Jack could be wanting was personal space to ride this out on his own, but also unable to let him suffer through it all without any kind of reminder that he always had an anchor of support if he needed one.

And by the way Jack immediately seized hold of him, his fingernails digging deep into the back of Bitty’s hand and tugging him closer, Bitty figured that this was not one of those times.

And so he shuffled forward on his knees and embraced him.

Jack clung on to him, pressed him closer, closer, closer still, his head heavy on Bitty’s shoulder and his chest heaving against Bitty’s own. And Bitty held him, trying to keep him as steadily as he could manage.

“I can’t… Breathe…”

Those were the exact three words that Bitty always feared hearing, but reminded himself to not be surprised every time he did. This was Jack’s fear spinning on his own fears, him sinking deeper and deeper into his own personal black hole, panic and pressure growing and building until breathing was the greatest feat mankind had ever encountered.

And so he removed himself from Jack’s embrace long enough to gently grab hold of his face, forcing Jack’s eyes to focus on his own, reminding him to stay anchored in the present as his breaths stumbled over themselves.

“Jack… Jack, Jack, honey, look at me. I’m right here. Just look at me, I’m right here sweetheart, I’m right here. I’m right here.”

Jack nodded vaguely, and he managed to take a few proper breaths, but he was still shaking terribly and he had a hard time holding Bitty’s gaze.

This was far from the first panic attack that Bitty had sat through, but they never got any easier enduring, for either of them. Bitty hated feeling so helpless, watching Jack go through so much pain, and not being able than to offer anything else than just being there. And even though he knew it was all just temporary, that deep seated fear that entered his heart by the terrified look in Jack’s eyes never got any easier grappling with.

And feeling his own breath hitch in his throat, he was abruptly reminded of the first lesson Shitty had taught him when it came to situations like these.

Just breathe.

“Breathe with me Jack,” he heard himself saying before he even had time to reflect on what he was doing. But he grabbed a more secure hold of his husband, relieved to finally be able to be of some help. “Jack, I need you to breathe with me.”

As soon as he had recaptured Jack’s attention again, he started taking slow, deep breaths. In for two seconds, out for two seconds. In for three seconds, out for three seconds. Jack struggled to imitate him, and Bitty grabbed hold of Jack’s hand and pressed it against his own heart, letting Jack feel the steady rhythm he had, somewhat miraculously, forced his heart to maintain.

And eventually, Jack wasn’t struggling anymore. In for five seconds, out for five seconds. His breathing was still laboured and the hand that was curled into the fabric covering Bitty’s chest was still shaking, but he sat up without Bitty’s support and his eyes was steady on Bitty’s own.

And before Bitty knew it, he had apparently recovered enough to get some distance to the incident.

“I’m pathetic,” he muttered indistinctly as he hung his head, distancing himself from Bitty and slowly crawling into the impenetrable shell that was his mind.

“Hey! I wanna hear none of it.”

But Jack just averted his gaze in shame.

“You listen to me, Jack Bittle,” Bitty chided him as he got up in his space, knowing that this was the one time to deny him his seclusion. Jack looked up at him in mild surprise, but he also knew better than to escape one of Bitty’s reprimands, and held his gaze steadily. “You are not pathetic. You are one of the most admirable people I have ever met. You are the strongest person I know. You have fought your way back from so many setbacks, you never let any of them stop you and you grow stronger from every single one. You have the largest and most generous heart I’ve had the fortune of knowing. You love so wholly and thoroughly that it makes me dizzy on a daily basis.”

Jack flushed slightly at this, and Bitty could feel his heartbeat speed up slightly under his hands, but he was not done.

“We have seven kids downstairs who all think you’re their hero. And it’s not because of the reasons you think it is. It’s because you pick them up from practice with the same terrible puns every Tuesday, actually listen to what they know is their ridiculous teenage gossip, let them win wrestling matches in the most dramatic way imaginable, watch Aristocats with them 17 times in a row, kiss their injuries better, memorize presidents with them, make that godawful mac ‘n’ cheese for ‘em.”

Jack huffed a weak laugh at that, and Bitty counted that as a small victory.

“And a million other tiny little things that I could spend all week here counting. And I would, if you asked me to.”

Jack shook his head softly, but reached up to grab hold of Bitty’s hand, interlacing their fingers where they rested upon his heart. They sat together as they felt his heartbeat slowly but surely calm down, and Bitty rested his forehead on Jack’s, Jack putting an arm around his back and pulling him closer.

“But speaking of the kids,” Bitty eventually murmured, “I should go talk to them.” He pulled away far enough to be able to brush aside Jack’s bangs from his eyes, and settled his hand on Jack’s nape. “But after that you and I are going to listen to that atrocious country music that you for some reason like, until you can breathe properly again. Then you are going to watch one of your documentaries and not think about a thing at all, while I go to cook up something to help you get your strength back. And then maybe the kids can come in and remind you of how great of a father you are. And later tonight, if you’re feeling up for it, and only if you’re feeling up for it, we can start making a list of what to do to recover from this.”

Bitty eyed him warily, suddenly afraid that he was overwhelming him, demanding too much of him at once.

“How does that sound?”

And Jack, tall and strong and towering Jack, looked so vulnerable in that moment, in between his still somewhat racking breaths.

“Good.”

“Good,” Bitty smiled, and Jack rewarded him with a weak smile in return. “You might want to think about a shower too, it’ll be good for you to wash all of this off. Take all the time you need honey, I’ll wait.”

“Karim! There’s leftover’s in the fridge, it should be enough for y’all, otherwise there’s always meatballs for Chris in the freezer, and some mud brownies if you’re not satisfied.”

Bitty almost immediately dove his head into the fridge as he walked into the kitchen, checking that the Tupperware was where he had left them and counting to make sure that it would indeed be enough to feed 7 hungry stomachs. Veg for Ana, lactose free for Josué, gluten free for Danielle, extra carbs for Min, no leeks for Becky...

He quickly scanned the freezer too, making sure he could keep what he promised. Then he fiddled with the fridge magnets for some time, allowing himself some time to breathe as he admired his children’s latest artwork and let his fingers trace the message Jack had spelled out for him in the multicolored letters earlier that morning.

Got your back.

Taking yet another deep breath, Bitty steeled himself and turned around to face his children.

And Karim had only needed to look over his dad’s disheveled look once to see what was going on.

“Is papa not feeling okay?”

“He’s… Quite under the weather, yes,” Bitty sighed, feeling all of his strength leaving his body. “So y’all might want to take it easy tonight.”

“Is papa sick?” Min piped up, her head popping up from the living room couch, her forehead furrowed in concern.

“Yes sweetheart, I’m afraid he is.”

“Is there anything we can do?”

Bitty smiled tiredly, and was just about to tell them that all they could really do was give it time, when a flash of brilliance suddenly struck him.

“D’y’all remember his last birthday, and that card you gave him that almost made him cry?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I think he’d like something like that right now.”

Min almost hit Ana out of her excitement, and practically sprang up off the couch to get started on this new task, a whirlwind with a constant need to be in motion.

“I’m on it!”

“Oh, but Min!” Bitty called out, and was almost surprised that she stopped in her tracks in the middle of the living room floor in order to listen to what he had to say. He smiled quietly, a little invigorated himself by his daughter’s endless energy. “Instead of all that general stuff that y’all so lovingly put down the last time, you might want to be a little more specific than just ‘you make the best mac ‘n’ cheese’.” He smiled fondly at the memory. “Think of the times you’ve been proud of him. Of the times he’s inspired you. Of the times you’ve loved him extra super duper much.”

Min grinned at him wickedly.

“You got it.”

And Bitty smiled as he watched his family. Ana and Danielle playing with little Chris on the living room floor, Becky helping Karim prepare their dinner in the kitchen, Josué clearing the table of his homework in order to help Min with the card. Yes, Bitty had done something great when it came to his family.

And even though exhaustion hung heavy in his bones, he still smiled as he snuck out into the hallway again.

Jack had just exited the shower when he walked into their dimly lit bedroom, a pair of boxer briefs hanging low on his hips. He looked so small and fragile despite his height, with his shoulders drawn up, his hair pushed back and with that hesitant look in his eyes. Bitty’s heart ached at the sight.

“C’mere mister.”

He pulled Jack into a hug, and they fell onto the bed together.

Jack had passed out to the soft crooning of “Georgia on my mind”.

Bitty just laid staring at him. Carefully continuing carding his fingers through his hair as his breathing finally evened out, feeling his chest rise and fall rhythmically against his own side, some of his worry lines disappearing with every peaceful breath.

Silly.

He had gotten his team to the playoffs in his first season of coaching them. A team that hadn’t even been close to the playoffs in the last decade or so. And he had done so with nothing but praise and acclaims, both from the press and the league alike. Bitty had even heard whispers of him being up for the Jack Adams award. There was honestly not a single logical reason as to why he would be feeling inadequate at that time.

But Bitty knew that fear and panic didn’t rule by logic. That it had frost covered talons that clawed its way into your very core and wouldn’t let go no matter how much you tried to shake it off. And that all you could really do was try to find the patience for it to let go of its own accord, or for it to be conquered by disproval.

And Jack had gotten better at grappling with it. He was better at voicing his concerns and communicating when he was feeling unwell. These severe attacks were very few and far in between, and he had been getting better at managing them. He had long ago stopped his habit of just shutting everyone out, letting his walls come down for his family to help him in his darkest moments.

And Bitty traced the soft line of his husband’s eyebrow as his phone buzzed by his side.

Squinting at the suddenly much too bright phone screen in the dark room, he was eventually able to deduce that he had gotten a message from Karim.

From: Baby K

card is ready for launch

Looking down at Jack, who was still passed out cold, he smiled softly before replying.

To: Baby K

gimme 10 minutes

the moose is asleep

Putting the phone away again, he returned his attention to Jack, pulling his fingers a little more firmly through his thick dark curls.

“Sweetheart. Sweetheart, wake up.”

He continued carding his fingers through Jack’s hair, reaching down to press soft kisses to his forehead, his temple, the arch of his hairline. Jack woke slowly, snuggling even closer into Bitty’s side as he did, humming contently at the back of his throat as he leaned into Bitty’s touch.

Then he opened his eyes, and Bitty could see the exact moment when the entire world came crashing down around him again, panic blowing his pupils wide.

“Sweetheart, sweetheart, it’s okay, I’m here, I’m right here,” Bitty was quick to reassure him, pulling him closer. “It’s all okay.”

Bitty held him as he reminded himself of how to breathe again, his breathing strong and controlled under Bitty’s arms as he rubbed soothing circles into his back. Jack hugged him tighter, all but squeezing him.

“I’m not strong enough, Bits,” he finally moaned miserably, his voice raw and ragged as he carefully avoided Bitty’s gaze.

But Bitty just huffed his objection as he shuffled sideways on the bed, forcing Jack to look up at him.

“Darlin’, don’t you see? You’re the strongest of ‘em all. To fight your way through all of this… You’re still here, honey. You are so, so strong.”

Jack acknowledged his words by just looking at him for a long moment. Then he buried his face in Bitty’s chest, his breathing slow and steady against his heart. Bitty’s fingers returned to his hair, and they were greeted by a grateful hum.

“The kids’d like to come in for a moment,” he eventually whispered, his fingers never ceasing in their movement.

Jack looked up at him again, pierceful blue eyes thoughtful for a long moment, before he nodded slowly.

“I’d like that.”

And Bitty just smiled softly before he made a gesture at the door on the other side of the room.

It was instantly opened, and a gaggle of kids came spilling through, all piling up on the bed next to them. They were all talking enthusiastically and all over each other, telling Jack about their day and the excitement of having Karim back home, but in that soft and gentle way that they knew their papa needed right then.

Jack’s face immediately shone up in a smile as he listened to his children's mindless prattling, instinctively pulling Chris and Becky closer as Karim started his grand retale of all his many adventures in Pittsfield. It was an oddly quiet little moment, Bitty’s family finally gathered again, falling into a familiar and comforting routine together, and it was only disrupted when Min suddenly exclaimed a surprised “Oh!” and stretched out the card for Jack to take.

He eyed it quizzically a moment before accepting it, inspecting it closely once he did. Bitty shamelessly peeked over his shoulder to see what his children had accomplished.

The front page was a messy little thing, the words “Feel better!!” scribbled in the centered of the page in multicolored lettering and surrounded by a cluster of various doodles, hearts and stars and flowers and rainbows and stick-figures, incomprehensible patterns and shapeless forms, a cat and some cartoon figure Bitty didn’t recognize. But Jack took his sweet time examining every small little detail, his fingers carefully brushing over the pencil lines.

When he eventually flipped it open, both sides of the card were filled with all of their children’s various differentiating handwriting. Every last square inch had been filled with words of love and encouragement, and Bitty settled more comfortably against Jack’s shoulder to read them along with him.

“Do you remember that time when I flunked the vault at regionals? And I wanted nothing more than to just give up the whole competition? When you told me that all I could do was my very best, and that my mistakes does not define my capacity? And how I then went on to become the all-around champion?

I think about that every single day.”

“Thank you for teaching me to always believe in myself. You are the most inspiring person I know.”

“I have never met a braver or more resilient person than you. (+ your mac ‘n’ cheese is the bomb)”

“Sometimes living is pretty darn hard. But knowing that you’ll always support me makes it so much easier.”

“I don’t think a lot of people have a papa that would dress up as a cheetah and then perform in front of the entire city for them. I am lucky that I do.”

“I am so grateful that you always, always have faith in me, and always have my back.”

“i lov yu!!!”

And then at the bottom of it all was the imprint of an inky cat paw.

Jack did start crying this time. Silent tears ran down his cheeks as he read the words that the kids sitting expectantly in front of him had put into print for him, read them over and over and over again. Eventually one of the stray tears landed on the card, leaving a dark wet blot in its wake, and he wiped at his wet cheeks before putting the card away, preserving it. Bitty squeezed his shoulder quickly, his own eyes quite watery too, and Jack quickly reached up to squeezed it in return, before he looked up at the still expectant kids.

“Come here. Come ‘ere, everybody get in,” he said, his voice thick and shaky as he pulled the children into a group hug. He took the time to look them all in the eye before he hugged them tighter. “I love every single one of you. Don’t ever forget that.”

And then he kissed every single one of them for emphasis, Karim being the only one to frown slightly.

“Never,” Min grinned back at him, and Jack chuckled wetly.

“Good.”

Jack held on to his kids for a while, the moment quiet and comforting, before Danielle finally broke out of the cuddle pile to look up at her parents with large and excited eyes.

“Oooooh, can we watch one of your old war movies now?”

“Yes,” Josué continued. “And please, can we watch the Revolutionary War one where…”

“No way!” Ananta interrupted. “You got to chose last time, I want to see the Icy Wars…”

“It’s the Cold War,” Karim corrected, “and please, for the love of god, no, I want to watch World War II…”

And Bitty smiled at the way his children threw themselves all over each other and at Jack’s befuddled expression, kissing his temple before getting out of the bed, which was quickly becoming a minor battle field itself, leaving him to take care of this bickering mess as he himself fled down to the kitchen.

Jack was lying down in the middle of the bed with an assembly of kids passed out all around him when Bitty returned. His nose promptly scrunched up as the scent of the content in the bowl Bitty was carrying spread around the room, and he eyed it suspiciously.

“Is that MooMaw’s special comfort soup I’m smelling?”

“It’s anise, it’s invigorating, and I’ll see you eat up mister, it’s gonna help.”

Jack did accept the bowl as Bitty offered it to him, but frowned as he did so, gingerly lifting it up to his nose to sniff at it miserably. But Bitty just scoffed and rolled it eyes at him before trying to climb into bed next to him, finding a small vacant place in between their assortment of children. He ignored his husband as he took a small sip from the broth, his mouth curling downwards as he contemplated the slightly tart flavor, choosing to instead focus on finding a more comfortable way to lie down.

“Karim won at last?” He finally asked as he settled somewhat comfortably against the aforementioned sleeping boy’s legs, taking in the black-and-white footage rolling by on the screen.

“No, it’s World War I,” Jack replied with a small smile, seeming glad to have gotten a small distraction from his assigned soup. “We had a democratic vote.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, Becky’s vote was the decisive one,” he said, his smile turning warmer as he looked down at the peacefully sleeping girl beside him, stroking her hair fondly as she snuggled closer into his side.

Bitty smiled at them too, and was just about to reach out to them when Karim stirred softly at his back. His head snapped up from the mattress, blinking slowly a couple of times, his eyes unfocused and bleary, before narrowing in on the bowl in Jack’s hands.

“Is that MooMaw’s comfort soup?” He asked groggily, scrunching his nose at the smell.

Jack gave Bitty a pointed look, and Bitty could feel himself going brittle, heat rising to his cheeks.

“It’s anise!” He whispered furiously, before taking a breath and collecting himself, reaching over to pull his fingers through his son’s hair, the boy’s heavy head lolling into his hand. “Baby, you might want to go to bed. You have practice tomorrow morning.”

Karim groaned sleepily, rubbing his head into Bitty’s open palm, but he eventually rolled out of their bed, feet thumping heavily against the floor as he did. His commotion and noise had unsurprisingly woken Josué up, but before Bitty could make his way over to him, Karim was already by his side.

“C’mon, buddy,” he muttered as he crouched down next to the bed, offering up his back as a mode of transport for his younger brother. It only took Josué a few sleep-dazed seconds to get with the program, linking his arms around his brother’s shoulders. Karim expertly rose to his full height again, effortlessly balancing Josué’s weight on his back, and then they were shuffling out of the room.

“Goodnight!” Jack called after them, a mixture of amusement and melancholy sparkling in his eyes.

“Bonne nuit, papa,” the boys replied in a sleepy chorus, and then they were gone.

Seeing the small hole in the maze of limbs that Josué had left behind, Bitty saw his chance to settle more firmly against Jack, and took it, ever mindful of the still scalding soup in Jack’s hands. Jack smirked at Bitty’s struggles, and chuckled as he secured his hold on him.

“It’s nice to have him back home, eh?”

“It sure is.”

“It would have been nicer to sit down for a proper dinner though,” he said with a pitiful look at his soup. “I hope you didn’t have anything too fancy planned.”

“Oh, y’know, just a pork roast, some scalloped potatoes, and a nice double stuffed apple pie,” Bitty started, watching as Jack fell before he got the chance to pull his signature chirping grin, and had to laugh softly instead. “Honestly, honey. You know none of that matters.”

Jack hung his head shyly, and Bitty shimmied lower into the bed, pressing his lips to one of Jack’s collarbones in the process.

“I have my whole family right by my side again, and they’re all safe and sound,” he murmured as he reached over Jack to also he stroke Becky’s hair. “That’s all I ever asked for.”

Jack set aside his bowl of soup, and then he reached down to gently press his lips into Bitty’s hair. And then they just stayed like that for a long time, enveloped in each other’s embrace, their kids scattered all around them.

And Bitty dozed off to the familiar sound of a monotone historian’s monologue in the background.