Chapter Text
Not that the ED is ever quiet, and not that Frank would ever utter that word, but it was a little slow. People weren't immediately dying, he even saw Whitaker in the break room eating a sandwich (that he definitely got from the cart in the hall). But when he looked around, he couldn’t find the one person he wanted to talk to—or would want to talk to him.
He crosses through the ambulance bay's sliding doors in a few strides and looks around. He peeks around the brick corner, and the bushes, but still can't find Mel. Odd.
"Hey, Ahmad? You seen Mel?" Frank asks when he walks back in.
"Not recently man, sorry. Listen, we're supposed to be getting snow this week. You wanna bet how much we're getting?"
"I'm not losing more money betting whether or not I'm working a double."
"Not even five on blizzard?" Ahmad calls after Langdon.
He walks back to the break room again and peeks through the window of the door and sees Whitaker is gone. No one else is in there either. He sighs and turns around to see Perlah and Princess looking at him.
He drones, "My ears are burning, you must be talking about me."
Perlah simply smiles at him and doesn't answer. Princess says something in Tagalog which makes Perlah laugh and Langdon roll his eyes. He's grateful, though, that they're acting normal around him again. Most people are most of the time, but there are those few instances. When he prescribes lorazepam and Santos gives him a sideways glance. When Robby gives him the cold shoulder and everyone is reminded of how close they used to be. When Whitaker and Mohan are laughing about a joke and go quiet when he gets near. He's not stupid, he sees it all.
"Do you know where Mel is?" he asks Dana when he walks back out to the hub.
She pops the bubble of her gum before replying: "I think I saw her in the stairwell by the viewing room. If she ain't there, I can't help you."
He nods and turns to go but not before seeing Dana wink at Princess and Perlah, who ended up following him. What the hell does that mean? She says something like "ETA on a STEMI is ten minutes" but he pretends not to hear her as he pushes the door. He doesn’t see her here either and sighs. He's not stupid, he sees it all, and he knows Mel is the only one who never thought less of him when he got back. Hell, she basically hugged him back in July. Frank has tried his best since then to make her feel like being his friend is worth it, that he cares about her just as much as she cares for him.
He rubs his neck and wonders where she could be. He stares at the steps in front of him and thinks about the rooftop that some doctors like to inhabit when they get a chance to breathe. But she always breathes in the ambulance bay, that's why he went there first. A few thoughts flit through his mind until one settles at the forefront. Earlier this shift one of her patients died, an unhoused woman who didn't have any family or friends coming to see her. He saw Mel talking to Kiara earlier, but surely she wasn't-
He's sprinting up the steps before he can even finish the thought, and he's shoving the door to the roof as his mind lands on a sickening thought he hopes isn't true. He sighs in relief, the sight of his breath in the cold hanging in the air, and approaches her. She's standing on his side of the rail, not the other side where the worse thinkers go. His heart is beating quickly. He pretends it's from running up seven flights of stairs.
She's already looking at him when he gets closer to her. "You startled me. With the door." That's all she says.
"What are you doing up here?" She has no jacket on, just a long sleeve shirt under her scrubs. "You’re not... I mean, I saw Kiara talking to you. Um." He has to be straightforward. "You’re not gonna..." But he's scared.
They lean against the rail together. She doesn't answer for a minute and Frank starts to think he's actually going to have to say it. "It was a thought. But not anymore, I think. Maybe the cold reoriented me."
"Okay." His breath appears in a puff again. "We can't lose you, Mel. I can't-" He clears his throat. Why is he so bad at talking to her about this? He turns and looks at her. "Yeah, you're just someone I don't wanna lose. Not like this. Do you want to talk about... this?"
She looks at him. Her glasses will fog up when they go back inside, he thinks absentmindedly. "I already talked to Kiara."
"But you're still up here. Do you want to talk to me about this?"
"Oh, sure, um. Well I just needed quiet. It can work down there if you find the right spot but not always. It's never completely quiet, though, that's why there's that superstition. I remember one time Robby told me he came up here after Pittfest."
Frank winces at that mention. It was a bad night in multiple ways. He grips the rail a little harder and tries to think of the right thing to say. "Do you wanna talk about the patient?"
Mel smiles but shakes her head no. She looks up at the sky, it's dark now that their shift is almost over. One or two lucky stars shine through the light pollution. She watches them twinkling, knowing that wherever they are they could be gone by now. She could be looking at stars that have already exploded into supernovae.
Frank looks at her looking at the sky. He's never seen her in anything but a braid.
"Her name is Caiti. Someone found her unconscious outside and called 9-1-1. She had COPD, then got pneumonia. She also had mild hypothermia. We got her warmed up, she woke up and everything. It looked good. I asked her if she had any family or friends to call, she said no. And then it was like she just couldn't fight anymore, and she got so much worse. Then she died. And I had no one to call for her." She pauses, inhales, exhales. "I think for every other patient I've had, I could call someone. All she had was me."
He holds out his hand for her, and she miraculously takes it. He's surprised, first that they're holding hands, second at how cold hers is. "And that's enough. And you can keep being that person. Not just for your patients."
"For you?" It’s like she suddenly realizes their hands are touching, and she looks at him again.
He looks at their hands, her eyes, then back to hands. "Maybe. You're, uh, cold. We should go inside. Besides, Dana said there was a STEMI coming soon. Probably here by now."
She agrees and they walk inside together. By the fifth floor they let go of eachother's hands, and by the ER they're pretending like nothing happened. He walks out first and sees Robby, McKay, Javadi, Mohan, and Jesse in Trauma One. He wanders back over to Dana and takes a look at the board.
"Well, you made it back just in time for the STEMI," Dana drawls. "I see you found your girl." She nods her head at Mel. He whips his head around to see she trailed after him and is now avoiding his gaze.
"That's not-" he begins, but gets cut off.
"Whatever, Frank. One of ya go check on Louie and give Earl a sandwich, one of ya look at the CT results for Central 11."
"I'll take the CT," offers Mel, quickly turning tail towards her directed spot. He gapes after her and turns back to Dana.
"What do you mean my girl? You know I'm married right?" Frank waits for a response, but continues when he doesn’t get one. "She's my friend, Dana. She's the only one around here who treats me like a person, not an addict. So sue me if I care."
Her expression shifts for a second before decidedly waving him off to check on Louie and Earl.
***
Frank & Abby
8:02 p.m.
Frank: Do I need to stop anywhere on the way home? Almost finished with night shift handoffs xx
Abby: No
Frank: Are the kiddos asleep
Abby: Working on it
Frank: [READ.]
***
Frank's keys jangle as he unlocks his door, chains from trips or made by his kids getting in the way of the actual key. Didn't he ask Abby to unlock the door towards the end of his shifts?
He sets his stuff down by the coat rack as he slips off his shoes. He calls out a greeting and heads upstairs to change; it's a basic routine, to leave his work life at work and home life at home. He doesn’t need to burden Abby, more than he already does, with sad stories about heart attack deaths or elderly deaths or any deaths. Or even sad stories about how often doctors trek up to the roof. He hears a soft tap at his door and opens it once he's changed.
"Hey, bud, what are you doing up?" He bends down to Tanner's level.
"I don't wanna go to bed!" he says gleefully and Frank laughs while picking him up.
They head downstairs together and find Abby in the kitchen. She makes a face at them and asks, "Why did you wake him up? I just put him to bed."
"I wanted to say hi to Daddy!" Tanner smiles at his mom.
"He was already awake, I swear," he says with one hand up in his defense, the other still holding him. He ruffles Tanner's hair and says to him, "When you're older and get to stay up late, you'll never miss me coming home."
"When can I get older?!"
"Everyday, bud."
Abby takes Tanner from Frank and starts heading back upstairs. She's telling him that 'Daddy is off tomorrow and they can spend the whole day together' and he smiles after them.
When she comes back down, she puts one hand on her hip. He sighs. "What are you mad at me for now?" he asks.
"What makes you think that?" she snaps.
She's sarcastic but he gives in anyway. "Your texts, your face, you automatically assumed I woke Tanner up when he's just a hyperactive five year-old, your hand on your hip right now. What, I left the toilet seat up? Forgot to start the dishwasher before I left? Missed an important date? Why do you do this every night, Abby?"
She tugs on the sleeve of her shirt before walking past him. "I don't know," she replies. She sounds exhausted, he notes. He gets it, she takes care of their kids all day. But he works in an emergency department all day, too. They're both tired, why can't he come home and watch a movie with his wife?
"You don't know? If you don't know why you're picking a fight, then don't pick a fight."
She's facing away from him.
"So what did I do wrong now? I'll say sorry, I'll stop, I'll fix it, whatever." Flippant.
Abby turns back to him, and there's something different in her face. She's not angry anymore. There are tears forming in her eyes, he can see it from across the counter. She shakes her head and rubs at her eyes. "You're right, and I didn't even realize it. I don't know why we fight. I don't know what's changed. I'm sorry Frank."
He moves to her and grabs her hand. He isn't surprised about anything, and her hands are warm. Frank hugs Abby, and they hold eachother in their kitchen. Something has shifted, unbeknownst to him. Maybe he's stupid and he doesn’t see it all.
"I'm sorry too. I still love you, you know. Whatever's happening we'll get through it, we always have. This can't be the worst thing we've gone through." He laughs a little. But what's funny?
She stares over his shoulder at a painting on the wall. She remembers when they bought it, bought all the decorations and furniture for their house. Because she thought he would be her forever. But she's not so sure anymore. He thinks she's his forever.
***
Langdon & Mel
9:43 p.m.
Mel: Thanks for finding me.
Langdon: No problem, Mel. Shifts can be hard, I get it.
Mel: I didn't think anyone was looking for me, though. That was really nice of you.
Langdon: Someone would have, the ED is never you know what.
Mel: What?
Langdon: Quiet 🤫
Mel: You just cursed the night shift.
Langdon: They'll never know it was me.
Mel: I hope they call you back in right now.
Langdon: Aw, don't wish that on me Mel. You know it's superstition anyway.
Mel: Until it's not. You're going to get a call from Dr. Shen in 3... 2... 1...
Langdon: [REACTED ❤️ TO YOUR MESSAGE.]
Mel: Did it work?
Langdon: Sure did, I'm grabbing my stethoscope as we speak.
Mel: You're the only person who I can tell when you're joking or when you're serious.
Langdon: Really? But everyone jokes around you.
Mel: I'm starting to get there with Trinity. But no, just you. Even over text, which is much harder than in person. You have tone and expressions in person.
Langdon: Do you joke with anyone else either?
Mel: Not really.
Langdon: Guess we're just in tune.
Mel: Something like that.
Langdon: [TYPING . . .]
Langdon: Good night, Mel.
Mel: Good night, Langdon!