Chapter Text
“Fuck, you’re still working?”
Aisha’s voice was disgustingly loud, and Lisa winced momentarily, letting her mind stop concentrating on the evidence board for exactly two seconds.
“Girl’s gotta make some money, you know. For all of us here.”
For some reason, Lisa’s usual extremely confident tone and Tattletale’s blinding trade-mark grin didn’t achieve the effect she hoped for, and Aisha didn’t immediately fuck off to her room or to the Heartbroken with obedient understanding in her eyes.
“Don’t give me that bullshit, you did three favors for the Wardens in the past week!” Aisha threw up her hands. “And I know we looted – sorry, expropriated – a whole lot of stuff because I was the one who did that!”
“Which doesn’t mean I should stop.” Lisa pointed her pencil at her friend – for some reason, its tip was looking at her, which probably meant that she was making notes with the eraser for, at least, the last two minutes.
“Actually I do think you should stop,” Aisha grunted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Just for a few days, maybe?” Her sharp tone turned more pleading – and much, much more convincing since before the days Aisha had to care for several superpowered children.
“No,” Lisa answered calmly.
“Dear god, you’re just as stupid as her.”
“Goodbye, Aisha.”
“Look at yourself, Tats, you don’t even wanna banter.” Aisha rolled her eyes.
“Maybe I just like and respect you that much.”
“Yeah, your sense of humor also kinda suffered.”
“Now that,” Lisa snorted, “I don’t want to hear from you, miss literature reference. Most of your jokes were moss-grown a century ago.”
“Hey-y-y, gotta respect the classics!” Aisha’s laugh was genuine, if forced just a little bit, and Lisa felt better for a moment. “Especially after the apocalypse, you know,” Aisha continued with a sigh. “Yeah… Rachel got some fine coffee from god knows where, by the way. I left it in the kitchen. If you’re not gonna sleep.”
“Don’t think so. Thank you.” Lisa nodded and rubbed her reddened eyes.
Most of the time Aisha would try to go for a hug, Lisa knew, but, apparently, today she looked much more unapproachable than usual – or just too pathetic. But now Aisha simply kept humming and hawing, looking over her cabinet and mumbling something very quietly, tapping her leg.
“You’re welcome,” Aisha finally said – surprisingly gently – turning around. “On one condition: you’ll tell me when you find something. I already saw one close friend killing herself without a second thought. You do this for her, I get it, but frankly, I don’t give a shit. You won’t leave like her. Or I’ll find you.” Aisha bitterly shook her head and walked out without waiting for an answer.
This threat was a bit funny, but Lisa hoped that Aisha wouldn’t try to do so, if Lisa was to disappear forever.
***
“I just think you, for all your supposed intellect, are being foolish.” Lily managed to give an absolutely normal shrug, while launching a complex series of attacks on Lisa’s very quickly dwingling blocks.
“And I think,” Lisa loudly exhaled, dodging another blow, “that in our almost destroyed and rotten world you ended up being too fucking lucky to tell me that.”
“Am I lucky?” Lily raised an eyebrow.
“Boo-hoo, you had a tough childhood, cry me a river.” Lisa almost succeeded in landing a low kick. “You found your love, you survived the apocalypse, you’re happy. And you were even retroactively justified to leave the Protectorate, considering…”
“That would never matter,” Lily scoffed. “I did that for Sabah anyway. And I am telling you that you… Well…”
“Could try being happy?” Lisa couldn’t hold back a laugh.
“You too survived the apocalypse,” Lily noted. “You’re a noticeable player, who could do a lot of things in this new world.”
“Not without her,” Lisa said emotionlessly, searching for a gap in her friend’s defence.
“Couldn’t imagine I’d have to convince Tattletale to believe in her own skills.” Lily smiled, pushing Lisa away with a powerful kick.
“You can’t understand me,” Lisa stated, “why try?”
“Think I didn’t lose people?” Lily frowned.
“I mean, I can gaslight Sabah into falling in one-sided love with March and make her run away for two years only for you to find her when March will be flaying her alive before your eyes.”
Lisa landed her next punch without any troubles.
“You’re fucked up, you know that?” Lily shook her head, looking bewildered. “...A lot of comparisons there to unpack.”
“I don’t even fucking care that it was the most important event in the history of humanity, actually,” Lisa continued, “or that she gaslighted herself into that. I care that she tried to commit suicide by alien god, believing that to be the best fucking choice! And now we have-”
“I doubt we’ll ever know if it was the best one,” Lily hummed. “But she did achieve what she wished for, didn’t she?”
“I have more comparisons featuring Sabah and the various ways of her brutal deaths,” Lisa grunted, meeting Lily’s eyes when she caught her hand.
“She fought to save the world,” Lily said softly, not bothering to reply to the obvious bait. “She saved it. The only thing that’s left is to accept that.”
“Did the world deserve her sacrifice?” Lisa muttered, looking away.
“I guess that Taylor would answer ‘yes’.” Lily sighed, trying to smile. “You’re still alive, after all.”
“Less of a consolation than you’d think.”
***
The… whatever was left of all the building materials for this old – well, it looked like that – warehouse was slowly melting, oozing out over the area like a weird gray goo. But that extinguished the fire, at the very least, though the acrid smell of chemicals was still strong. As far as problems with tinkertech went, Tattletale knew she got off lightly this time.
Lisa chose to stay on the small hill nearby, knowing that the heroes, of course, would think this the best spot for reconnaissance. And so she didn’t even flinch when a tall figure silently appeared beside her – silently enough for her power to be useless. It was an interesting use of forcefields, as Lisa thought.
“I can understand.” Narwhal was looking over the so-called scenery. “Though it would be good not to lose any buildings. We have troubles with infrastructure as it is.”
“An unlucky accident. Things happen. Careful, it all might be toxic.”
“Noted. But Dragon’s Teeth are more than capable of dealing with something like that.”
“Was I that lucky to hit the calmest day of the month or what?” Lisa pursed her lips. “Do the Wardens have nothing better to do today? Send Missy here, I’ll let her hang out with Aisha and Rachel as always, why this big hero parade?” She looked around, noticing at least seven people in power armor – they were much less stealthy, of course.
“It actually is that kind of a day.” Narwhal nodded. “But Undersiders stuff is always marked with higher priority than… it could be. And if you’d have succeeded, we couldn’t afford to miss it.”
“That wouldn’t have anything to do with you and the Wardens.”
“I have no doubts that you know Taylor Hebert better than others, but I know Weaver enough to be sure that you are lying to yourself in that regard. And if she is Khepri, that changes nothing in my words.”
With a lot of heroes Lisa wouldn’t even bother to argue, but Narwhal was of those few who didn’t exactly share common views about the method through which Scion was defeated – and didn’t try to hide it very much. Maybe mostly due to her famous practicality, but in this sense Lisa preferred not to look a gift horse in the mouth. After all, it would already be a rarity to actually talk about Khepri without seeing anybody’s absolutely irrational fears, much less have a proper conversation.
“She is not your pawn to put on a chessboard,” Lisa hissed, meeting Narwhal’s eyes. “Especially after experiencing-”
“A rook, more like, if you want metaphors-”
“This is not helping, I think,” a gentle voice rang out as they both felt a hand touching their shoulders.
“Facts are not supposed to help,” Narwhal said. “If Taylor Hebert still lives, she is going to end up at the heart of the action. And this time I would prefer to skip the warlord stage.”
“Didn’t she do enough?” Lisa asked quietly.
“A curious paradox: those who ask that never do enough, and those who did enough would never ask,” Narwhal replied solemnly. “We could guess her answer.”
“Gold Morning could change even her.” Dragon sighed. “Though I hope that Weaver still lives.”
“So am I. We could use a hero like her in these times,” Narwhal muttered, and Lisa’s power managed to find some sliver of emotions in those calm words. “In any case, this is not going to happen again, Tattletale,” Narwhal stated as a way of saying goodbye. “Don’t push your luck.”
“Sure, I’ll be more stealthy next time,” Lisa hummed, glancing at Narwhal’s back as the woman quickly walked away.
This day, while it brought another failure, was also another step toward the goal – after all, sooner or later Lisa would eliminate all the unsuitable options for her searches. No matter how much time it would take. Besides, the usage of portals was expanding, and so were her options. She briefly considered visiting Earth Shin through Bet…
“This is unnecessarily dangerous, you know that, right?” Dragon, who, for some reason, didn’t yet leave, asked.
“Ah, here is this help. Any other useful suggestions?” Lisa sneered, rolling her eyes.
“I do wish to help.” Dragon nodded seriously.
“Why?”
“I think you have people who can remind you of this, but in any case, you, Lisa, are not the only one entitled to the anger about Weaver’s fate,” Dragon’s voice was unexpectedly soft.
“You were one of the heroes who unmasked her.”
“...Skitter also singled me out at that moment.”
“Because you were supposed to be the good one.” Lisa grimaced. “Unlike other Protectorate heroes.”
“I find this notion a bit unfair, considering the circumstances,” Dragon replied quietly. “But let me prove I still am the good one, then. I managed to prove it to her.”
The unexpected answer made Lisa swallow her passive-aggressive remark – those she always had ready. She let out a heavy sigh and turned to face the heroine properly.
“Really?” Lisa’s voice almost imperceptibly cracked, and she immediately glanced away.
“I swear on Defiant’s halberd.” Dragon smiled out of the corner of her mouth.
“Uh-huh.” Lisa made a noncommittal noise. “Also, her name’s Taylor. Always was, Tess. No matter the mask, she stayed the same.”
***
If anything, the settlement Dragon brought her to looked… much better than Lisa expected from a place that wasn’t the City and didn’t have similar resources poured into it. It was pretty. Clean. Maybe even happy. Obviously having two of the best Tinkers in history living here helped.
For a second or two Lisa toyed with the idea of living here in the future: no matter how hard they all tried, even the New Brockton or the City would never be a home for her the same way Brockton Bay was. Without people, without power, without memories… But she doubted that her team would agree. And Lisa herself wouldn’t want to trade her own efforts for a nice little cottage under Defiant’s watchful eye.
Though Dracheheim was a cool enough name for Aisha to appreciate.
“One of the local herbs is an amazing substitute for tea – or, well, the usual one for the United States. Want to try it?”
“Taylor liked drinking tea…” Lisa murmured unwittingly, looking around.
“Ah. I see.” Dragon made a pause, sadly pursing her lips. “Strange that I didn’t know that.”
“Want a wild guess? She pushed herself to the limits even more than usual for two fucking years because nobody else would. So she drank coffee by the gallons.”
“...The Guild – and Dragonfly – had healthier options for, ahem, lengthening the work hours. But I see your point.”
“I used to think I’m a coffee girl through and through.” Lisa chuckled. “But… Anyway, I guess I’d like to try your tea.”
***
“Are you sure you need one of the Dragonflight?”
“Tess, my dear, I have to use less sophisticated tech than you. Trust me, even a suit of power armor won’t let me carry all the binders in one go.”
“I won’t find any Wardens’ classified info in those, right?”
“If it’ll help, does it matter?”
***
“You know,” Dragon was slowly walking around the table in her laboratory, deep in thought, “this type of project may take a lot of time. We’re only scratching the surface of portal technologies, telling you this as a person who is able to replicate tinkertech. And Taylor’s situation, well…”
“Time is the least of my problems.” Lisa was following her with her eyes, sitting at the table and shuffling through the papers. “I’d even say I have it in abundance.”
“Pointing out the obvious here, I know – but I’m not sure you know.” Dragon looked at Lisa with her signature mournful and at the same time supportive look, full of emotions and barely noticeable gleam. “You have it in abundance because you spend, I would guess, all your free time on this.”
“Water is wet.”
“It’s supposed to be a bad thing.” Dragon sighed.
“Fucking hell,” Lisa silently mouthed, rolling her eyes. “Do I need to start comparing the situations with you too? What if Defiant was in Taylor’s place, huh?”
“I have a considerable number of different search methods at my disposal. It would take me about… three weeks, give or take, to try out all of them.”
“And what’s next?”
“If everything fails, then…” Dragon looked away, at some very big and weird mechanism in the wall. “Then I would grieve. And then I would consider trying to make peace with whatever happened. It doesn’t mean it would happen soon, or that I would lose every bit of hope in my heart for his return, but… Well. I may not know a lot about how relationships and feelings work, but I do know that at some point – I apologize – not letting go will become one’s poison. I love him more than anything, Lisa Wilbourn, but he would be the first one to tell me that my life is my own, and shall not depend on his legacy.”
“Wow. I do appreciate an honest and complete answer.” Lisa nodded, watching Dragon’s face – so plain and average, but at the same time so alive – switching between different emotions. That woman sure could use a few lessons from her.
“Is it not to your liking?” Dragon tilted her head, turning back to her.
“First of all, I’m not you. Second of all…” Lisa tiredly rubbed her forehead. “I doubt most people would understand, but Taylor was mine, Tess. And I was hers. With every last damn piece of my mind, body and everything in-between. With all my flaws, quirks and traumas. And we didn’t even get a fucking year to spend together!” Lisa hit the table. “All I got is her legacy, which all of you refuse to acknowledge!”
“Weaver I know would never care about ‘legacy’,” Dragon said softly.
“Taylor I know never would too. Because all of her shattered self-esteem came only from my desperate attempts at persuasion,” Lisa hissed. “Because she’s a big damn hero. But somebody has to fix this, Dragon, somebody… has to remember. You all owe Khepri your lives. And I owe her everything that’s left of Lisa in this costume.” Lisa jabbed her finger into her chest. “I am not Taylor and I won’t fight against any injustice in the world, but I can fight this one in particular. For her. For whatever ideals she held dear. For myself.”
To Lisa’s surprise, Dragon didn’t bring up the horrors of large-scale mind control, as it usually happened. It was just a little bit disappointing, because Lisa didn’t yet have the chance to test her long since refined arguments about Gold Morning against the renowned Tinker. But seeing instead that Dragon sat down opposite her and how skillfully she started to sort out possibly useful intel was much more preferable.
“I believe I would like to fight against this injustice as well,” Dragon said after a minute or two of silence. “It always hurt me to imagine who Taylor could become if not for our world being our world. Or, rather, that she became Weaver the way she did. I wished I’d somehow met her a year earlier. She shone so brightly… and she gave her all at the end.”
If Lisa had a say in that, Taylor would never become Weaver in the first place. But she didn’t have one. Nobody did. And it fucking hurt too. But she knew what she signed up for.
“That she did,” Lisa confirmed in a whisper.
***
Apparently, every room inside this house had absolutely amazing day-light lamps, so, unlike most places these days, they both could continue working despite the lateness of the hour. And it only took Lisa two stinging barns to make Dragon stop talking about rest. But Dragon drove a hard bargain – truly, if there was one thing anybody could learn from working alongside Taylor… Thus, Lisa traded her coffee mug for a bowl of salad.
“Hey, Dragon, why the hell do you even take me seriously? You and Narwhal, at least. Everyone treats Valkyrie’s words as proof that Khepri is gone forever, stranded in some random world like the Sleeper. Or, well, they all hope so.”
“Because it’s ‘some random world’ only for the public,” Dragon replied evenly, typing something on her computer.
“Ah. I see that the Wardens continue the PRT’s proud traditions.”
“I am not really a part of them, Tattletale,” Dragon noted, though passionless. “Not like… I was once. And it was decided after they learned that the world Valkyrie named ended up actually empty. I know this for a fact,” the woman added, glancing at Lisa.
“So even less reason inviting trouble for the world that might end up useful?”
“Something like that. But for me it meant that while Valkyrie was truthful, Taylor might be somewhere else – not even simulations show she could be lost to… wildlife, which there was none, and without any trace.” Dragon paused, now meeting Lisa’s eyes directly. “Which makes me wonder how you are so sure.”
“Intuition.” Lisa smirked. “If you don’t wanna accept more pathetic answers like senseless hope, of course.”
“It isn’t pathetic.” Dragon gently shook her head. “But I sincerely doubt that a Thinker seven’s intuition and a usual one are the same.”
“Right, I forget that you possess more than one brain cell. Sure, it’s not like I can run a simulation through my power, but the thorough analysis of the situation tells me that Taylor should be alive – both her and the Queen-Administrator.”
“That… would be her agent?” Dragon raised an eyebrow.
“Valkyrie called her that, before Gold Morning. After everything I can’t say her description was in any way wrong.” Lisa snorted. “And speaking of them… My own,” she tapped her temple, “seems… or I think it seems to be convinced that Taylor’s agent is still around, which is also an indirect proof.”
“Considering how much we know about them, I’d be quite reluctant to consider that as proof.”
“I know she’s still around too. Know it within my soul,” Lisa continued more quietly, staring at her spoon instead of her new science partner. “Believe me, I’m aware that people shouldn’t work like that, but we were… close. Close enough.” Oh, how pathetic and insignificant these words seemed to Lisa, but she didn’t have any other at the moment. “Or, maybe, we both were too much in tune with our powers for them to work together or something. Who the fuck knows.”
“Unfortunately, probably nobody,” Dragon agreed. “And I actually spoke with B- Riley, you know. But, on the other hand, isn’t this so interesting?” She smiled. “A whole new field of science, so closely intertwined with us, that may hold so much potential?”
“You too don’t like leaving any stone unturned, huh?”
“Maybe not exactly in the way you think, but…” Dragon raised her eyes, looking contentedly. “I had so little time to do actual research before, because, of course, there were more important things to do. At least now we don’t have any Endbringers to fight.”
“Hmm. But, miss scientist, from your point of view Taylor is gone, no? No reason to hope, that world was empty.”
“I’m here with you, aren’t I?” Dragon put her hand on her chest. “I always hope for a better ending – it doesn’t contradict my outlook on life. It may be ill-advised, I guess, but I don’t want to change this part of myself. Even if she’s Khepri, there’s still hope.”
“You’re a unique person, Dragon,” Lisa said unexpectedly – even for herself – sincerely.
“Call me Tess, please. My name is not meant to be used only for sarcasm.”
***
All the tech that was around the place could actually prove a lot of Lisa’s previous conclusions right or wrong without unnecessary destruction of any more random buildings or the Undersiders’ finances. So the first few days they decided to spend on creating the list of things they knew about how portals worked, could’ve worked, could be opened or closed and, most importantly, how to seek connections between worlds. Hopefully, it would take only a few days, of course.
Lisa left a more than detailed enough note about her new occupation back at the Undersiders’ lair, and was of the opinion that it would be fine. Aisha and Rachel didn’t yet find her here to yell at her, so it probably was.
She knew pretty well that they both didn’t really believe in the possibility of her success, adopting usually beloved by Lisa cynicism. After Gold Morning… It was somewhat understandable. But they both also indulged her most of the time, and Lisa was grateful. But she liked hearing Sabah more, because that girl got used to their way of life amazingly quickly and seemed to think that after everything else there was practically nothing that Taylor couldn’t do. If Lisa had to be honest with herself, she thought so too – excluding Taylor’s ability to be a human with human connections instead of an unstoppable determination machine.
A day and a half, apparently, was the most Dragon could spare without any distractions, for at the moment she wasn’t in the lab. It was probably more than any hero in the Wardens could spare, so Lisa kept her unhappiness tightly locked. She kept a lot of her emotions like that since the days of the apocalypse anyway.
Tattletale did that when it was smart to do so. Lisa learned from Taylor that sometimes it was simply necessary. When there was work to be done, mostly.
“Making yourself at home, I see?” A gruff voice rang from behind her.
Obviously, if Dragon wasn’t here, her husband would be. It didn’t change anything, but Lisa knew who had about ninety-seven percent of her sympathies.
“Yep!” Lisa said loudly, popping the “p” as much as she could, without turning around. “If you came to say that it’s impossible and foolish, don’t waste your breath, I couldn’t care less about your opinion.”
“Oh, I’m well-acquainted with such an approach, Tattletale.”
“Maybe there even was a reason or two for that, Armsmaster.”
“I am going to let this slide.” Defiant crossed his arms over his chest. “But you are hardly the person who can pass the blame to me.”
“I wasn’t the one who let an inexperienced teenager infiltrate a gang of villains.”
“Yes, you were one of those villains.”
“Even I didn’t try to violate the Endbringer truce, though.”
“Yes, you simply enjoyed being the queen of the city unopposed.”
“Eh.” Lisa chuckled and finally turned around. “I was only her right hand, Armsmaster.”
“And Armsmaster was killed by Leviathan and his own ego, so don’t call me that,” Defiant replied calmly.
“Don’t discount Tess’ monumental efforts.”
“Possibly. But she would never make that first step for the sake of that bastard.”
It was hard to combine these two images even for Tattletale – but she also could admit that partly she felt like that because… Well, images of Armsmaster and Defiant both were tainted with her powerful emotional response. Both because of Taylor. Taylor’s injuries and broken dreams… Taylor’s departure to be a cute harmless Ward.
“You know,” Defiant continued after a pause, “I tried to teach Tess how to resist various ways of manipulation, but she actually managed to prove to me that you are trying to do precisely what you say. I thought you were much smarter than that.”
“Me too.” Lisa bared her teeth in a semblance of a smile. “Hope you won’t ever understand. Mostly because I want Tess to stay alive, but it’s the thought that counts, right?”
“One of the things that I thought to be too naive,” Defiant noted. “Suffice to say, Weaver convinced me otherwise. Even if her methods tainted her motives, well… They counted.”
“A bit too late for this, don’t you think?” Lisa raised an eyebrow.
“I did what I could before Gold Morning.” Defiant shook his head. “No more, no less. Also, don’t you think you are not in the place to critique me, Tattletale? Don’t pretend like you weren’t the main reason why she stayed with the Undersiders.”
“The state of the PRT could sure as hell be that,” Lisa huffed. “And you kno-o-o-ow that, don’t you? People were grateful to the bug girl much more than they ever were to you. Pathetic.”
Defiant narrowed his eyes, staring right at her, but then his prosthetic eye flashed, and he visibly relaxed, leaning on the doorframe.
“That would sting me before,” he admitted. “But I saw how you usually talk with Tess. I can, at least, extrapolate.”
Lisa knew it did sting him, even after all this time. But she also knew that it wasn’t enough – enough would be if he left her to her own devices right this second – and he really changed the way he felt about Taylor. Maybe she really was grossly out of practice.
“We both failed her,” Defiant muttered, pursing his lips. “Seems pretty obvious in hindsight. And it’s too late for this, yes. But, I guess, you two never could realize when it’s the time to stop. Especially if it was something very dangerous.”
Lisa thought she wanted to argue, but for some unknown reason stayed silent, replaying some of the plans she and Taylor executed back in the day. Usually she did that for different reasons, but…
“This project would need precautionary measures, Tattletale. I will be responsible for them, and they will be as serious as possible. If you are going to have a problem with that-”
Lisa let out a heavy sigh and turned around without giving any answers, once again facing her piles of documents. Her hands already ached, and it wasn’t even noon. At the very least, on this Earth.
“I see,” Defiant said quietly, much more subdued, and walked away.
***
“I can’t help but wonder sometimes…” Dragon murmured, doing her magic on a dozen holograms simultaneously, “Well, did so before too, but my relationship with Taylor was a bit fragile. And I tried to make her feel better most of the time, when I could, not…” The woman grimaced. “Was she always like that, Lisa? I didn’t see a lot from my destroyed suits, as you can gather. What I saw was Weaver – and the looming apocalypse, of course.”
“That” could mean so many things in relation to Taylor, that they both could be stuck here for the next week in the best case. But Lisa was able to figure it out even without her power, like she did once a little more than two years ago. And Dragon, bless her soul, was easy to read. It was a refreshing change from the Undersiders, who knew the situation quite well and already had their opinions before Gold Morning.
“No, Tess. She wasn’t… not always,” Lisa replied quietly. “She used to care,” and then hissed. “Ugh. Fine, that’s not really fair. She had put me first several times. The only one to do that… Just because I was important to her, Tess. Remember Behemoth’s death? She spent like half the fight worrying about me, despite everything.”
“But?”
“But your world made her pay the price for your mistakes,” Lisa grunted, putting more strength than necessary into her taps – thankfully, Dragon’s tech was made to last. “And I wasn’t able to convince her that she is not meant to carry the weight of the world.”
“Would she listen?” Dragon’s voice, as always, was gentle enough to suggest that it wasn’t a rebuke.
“I had to know. I knew,” Lisa muttered, giving that rebuke to herself on her own. “I hoped I could.”
“Have you tried?”
Lisa raised her head, meeting Dragon’s softened gaze. It would be oh so easy to stop her from pushing further… Though probably this insufferable woman would stop out of concern rather than from being offended. And, obviously, Lisa couldn’t just walk away – not only because of her help, but because Dragon was one of the people who could understand. They were not on different sides… Maybe weren’t since the day Taylor became Weaver.
“...More than with anybody else ever,” Lisa whispered, clenching her fists. “And it still wasn’t enough.”
“If there is nothing more you could’ve done – short of locking her in a room, which you’d never do – why torment yourself so, Lisa?” The woman’s voice was disgustingly earnest.
“Because I’m the only one who could,” Lisa replied bitterly. “What use to me is a happy and safe world if she’s not in it, Tess? Why should I care for the world that took her from me because of its own mistakes? But no, she never asked herself that question. That selfless, fearless, inspiring, valiant bitch!” She breathed out, closing her eyes for a moment to force her tears back. “She made sure that humanity had a place to return to. And took such a place from me,” she hoped her voice wasn’t shaking.
“And yet you still care,” Dragon said evenly, with just the slightest bit of tenderness – she probably learned that Lisa didn’t enjoy having pointed out her negative emotions to her. “You’re still doing more than most, you know. Apparently, the same way you did for Brockton Bay.”
“Taylor rubs off on you,” Lisa replied wetly, her voice thick with emotion. “She was so fucking great at that without even consiously trying.”
“A person like her-”
“Yes,” Lisa growled. “I know. My goddamn fault for falling in love with her, I guess.”
“I don’t suggest that your feelings are not valid.” Dragon shook her head. “Simply pointing out that you were aware who Taylor was, and what decisions she would consciously try to make. But if we succeed… You both may have a chance to fix those mistakes. I…” She let out a short smile. “I miss Weaver, of course. But I also know the price of freedom very well. Even the freedom from, ahem, the weight of the world. If Taylor was different… You would be the best person to help her to become a person again instead of simply a hero. Selfless, fearless and so on. Taylor told me a lot about you, if indirectly.”
“You think I’m better than I really am.” Lisa swallowed the lump in her throat. “But thank you. Maybe you’re the only one who is able to believe that Taylor can be that again.”
“I wanted nothing else for her. But I lacked experience and ability to help.” Dragon winced apologetically. “And our world lacked the circumstances to allow her that.”
“And yet she treasured your relationship all the same. Trust me.”
***
“Oh.” Tess roused herself seemingly for no reason, putting down her latest creation that was giving Lisa a mild migraine. “Sorry, Lisa, I have to step out for a little bit, Colin reminds me to take my meds.”
“I like the way you try to keep a straight face saying that, but you don’t have to bother, Tess.” After the Tinker turned to her, blinking in surprise, Lisa added, “Beep-boop. You know.” She smirked.
Lisa could allow herself to play a little game, dropping hints and jokes – increasingly more obvious – but unlike with most lies that she heard, Tess Theresa Richter had a good enough reason to make up hers. At least, considering how short of a memory most people had. Nobody would care to remember that Dragon earned the right to be called one of the greatest heroes on Earth, if they’d get an opportunity to show off their foolish prejudices.
Maybe she really was drawn to people with such problems like a fucking moth to the flame.
“Do I know?” Tess mumbled, looking through Lisa rather than at her – and giving Lisa a proper look at her ability to pass for a human, since at the moment she stopped adding all those little movements and facial expressions of her artificial body.
The lights suddenly started flickering for a few seconds.
“Come on, we recruited fucking Simurgh in the past, do you really think I am going to treat you differently?” Lisa waved her hand dismissively. “You have earned much more than the benefit of the doubt, as far as I am concerned.”
“This is not something that concerns only you,” Tess said, not moving a muscle.
“Well, I ain’t got any cool tinkertech halberds lying around to swear on, but you of all people, Tess, are aware of the reason I’m here and why I am not going to cosplay Kyle Reese.”
“Why you are here now.”
“Dragon, do you really think a lot of people get to see beyond Tattletale’s mask?” Lisa asked evenly, rolling her eyes. “Don’t be a fool, please.” She leaned back in her chair, deliberately keeping her pose relaxed. “I couldn’t care less about the way your pretty little neurons came to life. It doesn’t even matter anymore that I was a villain and you were a hero. You offered me help, for some reason, and you are trying to play therapist for my sake – a weird decision, by the way. I’m completely sure that there are precisely zero realities where all that is not detrimental to your usual goals… But you are not thinking logically, just like the rest of us. Besides, your existence really is not as unthinkable as, you know, our passengers’.”
“...You owe me about one megawatt of energy for this scare, Tattletale,” Tess eventually replied, her body coming back to life – or, maybe, online.
“Put it on the tab, hon.” Lisa carefully smiled, decidedly not showing her inner sigh of relief, for this little gamble could really cost her.
“I now understand Colin a bit better.”
“Yeah, the stick up his ass could never appreciate a joke between friends once in a while.”
“So what, you just decided to spring this on me?” Tess, sighing, returned to their table and rubbed her forehead.
“You got to look into me, only fair if I’d do the same.” Lisa shrugged.
“I question the significance of my insights in comparison,” Tess said thoughtfully, looking over Lisa and searching for something.
“You shouldn’t.” Lisa tilted her head, letting out a wry chuckle.
“No?”
“I think you know more than enough.”
“...And that’s actually somewhat concerning.”
“The story of every cape’s life.”
“Also, I do not have neurons, strictly speaking.”
“You understood the metaphor.”
“Well… Yes, I did. I appreciate it, Lisa.”
***
The first test of Dragon’s tinkertech miracle – well, the first proper test after several failures – led them to the place which Lisa didn’t exactly wish to see, but it was a good and easy choice. Just the thing they needed before they had to deal with the actual search for Taylor’s whereabouts. Considering that Lisa had to analyze the data Tess needed purely by working with her power, without real understanding of it, the search really could take some time.
“So this is the exact place?” Lisa got down on one knee, running her gloved hand across the wiry grass.
“According to Valkyrie. And to the portal particles levels.”
“To what?”
“I… didn’t yet come up with a more fitting name.” Tess very lightly shook the device in her hand – it looked like an extremely futuristic and giant version of a metal detector, painted silver, with several antennas and heavy enough for Tess to actually use her power armor. “We had a tradition about cool names in the Guild.”
“Cool names certainly sell better,” Lisa hummed.
“While that is true, that almost never was the reason. It improves morale, you know,” Tess laughed.
“Ye-e-eah, I’m used to more effective methods of PR.” Lisa smirked. “Brockton Bay wasn’t lacking volunteers for making examples out of them, for one.”
“I could imagine, considering some of Taylor’s suggestions,” Tess deadpanned. “‘Oh, just out of interest, would it help to prevent the end of the world if I started driving around killing everybody?’”
“Our city could use a few days of mass executions back in the day, just saying. You saw how many Nazis alone we had?”
“Nevertheless, that is not the answer.” Tess sighed. “Though, I guess, it made a difference only when I started using data-backed arguments and showing an example specifically for her.”
“Hmm. That’s good.”
“Yes?..” Tess answered uncertainly.
“Not that. That you actually tried.”
“Oh. I mean, that was… the right thing to do in any case. Even if I didn’t sympathize with her, which I did.”
“I know what you meant, but even you with all your immensely advanced processors would struggle to imagine just how much hatred I bear for the phrases about ‘the right thing’,” Lisa drawled, staring at the big rock nearby – she didn’t know why it caught her attention.
“Taylor certainly used it a considerable amount.”
“And I hated that too, correct.”
“My apologies. It’s not that I like the phrase… I know, for example, what would be the right thing to do for me after Gold Morning. But, as it seems, I am a selfish person at some level.”
“Good for you.” Lisa snorted.
“Says the person who spent the last few months doing the only one selfless thing possible for her.” Tess smiled.
“You really think this is selfless?” Lisa raised an eyebrow.
“It could be said that not every action people think they take for the sake of others,” Tess looked up into the unnaturally clear sky, “can be considered that. But despite how you feel and how you would… hurt in that case, Lisa, I think you would let Taylor go if she’d want to be Weaver again and wouldn’t listen. Thus, it’s not exactly selfish.”
“She would listen to me,” Lisa said quietly. “But that doesn’t mean she’d agree.”
“You know that and you’re still here, right? Besides, it was you who talked about her being remembered. So please, accept, at least, this comp- fact.”
“Selfless people are always selfless, I believe. Or most of the time.”
“...I feel weird saying that, but, maybe, your scale is a bit skewed by people like Taylor being your example,” Tess noted thoughtfully. “And people like, hmm, Jack Slash being on the other end of it. A lot of people would have trouble acting selflessly at all – or daring to act so.”
“Relentless, aren’t you?” Lisa curved her lips, glancing at Tess.
“When the cause is worthy.” Tess winked at her.
The problem was, as Lisa thought, that Tess still was quite enthusiastic about being able to use a seemingly human body, so some of emotion expressions were too alive and so stood out. Sometimes she looked a bit uncanny. But it also always got the point across, and after years of endless maneuvering, necessary backstabbing and dangerous confrontations it felt… nice, being sure. Being able to say she was sure without any hesitation.
***
Lisa did wait to sneak up on Tess after she finished all her other work for this day and used her usual sixty one second of proper downtime – even that amount of time seemed strange for an AI, but, maybe, she had a point. Unfortunately, the last three and a half years didn’t really give Lisa a chance to rest, except some rare moments with Taylor. Learning how to start doing that again seemed like a waste of time, no matter how much Aisha told her otherwise… But if not only for her own sake…
“Do you really help people with gardening?” Lisa plopped down on the table beside Tess, making her twitch.
“Why not?” Tess turned to her, pursing her lips.
“You’re one of the greatest Tinkers in the world.” Lisa shrugged. “Grubbing in the dirt doesn’t seem like your style.”
“On the contrary, I find it the most relaxing activity I can get in our settlement,” Tess retorted. “You could use a few hours of mindlessly tending to the several new species of flowers we discovered in this world instead of doing the very same thing you did for months. Just once, you know?”
“Speaking of that thing – here.” Lisa pulled an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to Tess. “Before you ask an obvious question: inside there’s the list of five things that I know or feel – hidden deep enough inside my mind that I wouldn’t come up with them quickly – and Taylor doesn’t. At least, I really think so. She wasn’t exactly big on this stuff.”
She forcefully put it in Tess’ hand and took her fingers to clasp them over the envelope. Then Lisa reached out to her trusty belt and pulled out her gun – not her only one, but this was Skitter’s once upon a time. The sound it made when Lisa placed it on the table in front of her companion made her wince, for some reason.
“...I do not like the implications,” Tess murmured.
“Humanity can’t afford another coming of Khepri. Or Khepri getting under somebody’s influence – and we know several villains who’d like that. So if we find a way, and if we return, you’ll ask me these, and you’ll be very careful.”
“And if I suspect anything?”
“Eh, at your discretion. Defiant will help you to make a decision fast in any case. But I can’t guarantee I will stay sane if I learn that you killed her while I was nearby, so…”
The overly flavorful smell of grass and wood was absolutely horrendous, but Lisa wasn’t able to escape the desperate and tight embrace, being forced to press her face into Tess’ collarbone. She hated it, but wasn’t strong enough to pull away. She wanted to pull away right this instant, no matter how warm and nostalgic it felt for her – for that version of her that used to be called Sarah, anyway. She really wanted to… But her arms remained frozen around Tess’ body, and her eyes refused to open, so that she could find a way out, so to speak.
How many years has it been since anybody allowed themselves to pat Lisa’s back, all gentle and affectionate, or hold her only for the sake of calming her down? Even Taylor… Well, they were equals – at that too. Though Tay often was her anchor in this unstable and failing world, no matter where they were.
“It’s gonna be okay, Lisa,” Tess whispered.
“Tell these sweet little lies to more stupid people,” Lisa bit back. “I know that we cannot be sure.”
“What are you afraid of? It’s certainly not Khepri herself.”
“I fear nothing and no one,” Lisa muttered, feeling Tess’ hands pulling her closer. “Especially after Gold Morning. You’re lucky Defiant was there to convince you that your life is your own… We both didn’t have such luxury. I never- I… She would die for me, Tess!” Lisa didn’t notice how she started sobbing. “Willingly! Readily! I was well-acquainted with fear, but I was able not to be scared of the world. Not with Taylor around. So I fear for her instead. Which, admittedly, wasn’t exactly great for me,” she chuckled wetly, trying to take a breath, “but I paid this price without a second thought and would do so again. Every time.”
“...Even if things would go wrong because of her, ahem, state, it would never be your fault, you know that, right?”
“I have nobody else to blame,” Lisa grunted. “There’s the world, and villains, and heroes… But I never expected anything from them anyway. You can’t blame gravity for your fall.”
“Blame me if you wish,” Tess suggested evenly.
“I could. But unfortunately, you tried. Also, don’t give me this bullshit, you won’t take it seriously and I don’t want you to.”
“You don’t know me that well.” Tess let out a quiet laugh, letting Lisa feel her warm breath on her temple. “Though you might be correct. And in any case, you failing to save her now doesn’t mean you don’t deserve anything else ever. Especially like that.” She glanced over Lisa’s head on the gun on the table.
“Don’t I?” Lisa huffed. “Everybody leaves one way or another. At the very least I know that Tay would stay with me, if the fucking world could hold its own without her help. If I can’t even save her…”
“Then you would still have your team, who followed both of you into the apocalypse,” Tess noted. “Aren’t they your friends?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Forgive me, but I will assume it means ‘yes’, even if you are not certain, my dear Thinker seven.”
“Don’t call me that,” Lisa breathed out, knowing that Tess would think she meant the rating, but it actually was about that pet name, which her mother used once upon a time – Lisa didn’t need that shit in her mind right now.
“Alright, Lisa.”
“You know the worst thing about this?” Lisa continued after a pause. “Most people could never sacrifice their life for another. Those who could, most of the time would do so on a whim – for their love or ideals or stuff. But I know Taylor could and would think it over if she had to make an actual choice, weigh the options… And still choose my life over hers every time, just like when she had to try and make that choice in a split-second. I can’t betray that, Tess. No matter what you say.”
“Then we will have to do everything possible so that none of us would need to make such a choice,” Tess replied softly. “You want her to live, and I have no doubt that the feeling is mutual. The problem is only in the meaning of that word. But both of you deserve a life – not only your duet.”
It was never that easy. It never would be that easy too, obviously. But Lisa was already used to running on fumes and foolish hope, and Tess’ happy-go-lucky – in comparison with their usual – attitude was somewhat contagious.
***
Cross-referencing the data ended up much easier with the information about every major portal that was being currently used by humanity. The only thing left to do at the moment was to make Tess and Defiant admit that various black market deals and theft of the parts of the Wardens’ database really helped them, and they didn’t get to let out deep and meaningful sighs every time.
“Not that I didn’t expect it,” Tess entered the lab, “but you missed the gathering.”
“I doubt anybody would welcome me there,” Lisa said slowly, busy with her laptop. “Especially since you guys celebrate excruciatingly boring stuff.”
“The first successful harvest of cucumbers is a more important event than you think.” Tess shook her head. “Not all Earths are suitable for our usual crops, and we may have lost some of them permanently because of Scion and Bet’s condition nowadays.”
“That’s why you wear a pink dress?” Lisa snorted. “Such important events.”
“I love pink,” Tess replied with utmost seriousness. “And Tattletale isn’t that infamous to be known here.”
“I’ve played the role of a pretty socialite quite enough.” Lisa grimaced. “And the role of an absolutely normal and forgettable girl – too. I am Lisa. With everything that entails. Right now it means I don’t give one quarter of a fuck about most of the things outside your cute green cottage.”
“Very well.” Tess sighed. “Hmm, maybe… Have you ever tried knitting?”
“Did you find a way to get drunk? I applaud your ingenuity. Can an android puke?”
“...No.” Tess blinked. “I am simply thinking about possible hobbies. You two would probably need a lot of them – at least to try – especially at the beginning, when you will inevitably have to adjust to a normal life.”
Lisa unwittingly covered her mouth and looked away, trying not to choke on the sudden lump in her throat. For one very brief moment she almost felt lost, because she didn’t dare to approach that unlikely future that easily. But that painfully casual tone, supported by Tess walking past her and almost imperceptibly touching her shoulder, left Lisa breathless and weird and… maybe the littlest bit more calm than a minute ago.
Of course, Lisa would prefer a lot of other things happening differently, but, at least, they all were lucky when Armsmaster got acquainted with Dragon.
“As you pointed out, I am an artificial intelligence,” Tess continued, also starting working opposite Lisa. “And I’m perfectly capable of laughing at robot comparisons, but I’m also the only one who is uniquely equipped to tell you: don’t be a mechanism, single-mindedly focused on its task. And yes, while I may agree with the point about Taylor’s stubbornness, I also think you have the best chances to persuade her no matter what.” Tess nodded to herself, gently smiling and looking at Lisa, letting her notice the crinkling around her eyes, glad that she made a sufficient point. “So, knitting?”
“...I guess we’d have to pick up a hobby suitable for us both. Could be tough,” Lisa said quietly.
“Not necessarily.” Tess shrugged. “Maybe even on the contrary, you’d need normal hobbies that could make you feel differently… I imagine that Skitter and Tattletale were very close, but that… Well…”
“Wasn’t completely healthy.” Lisa snorted. “I’m aware. Still was the best thing in my life. Any actual love is like that on some level.”
“I wish to argue, but I also recognize that my own example may not fit,” Tess replied thoughtfully. “Me not being a human may even make it less reliable as an example.”
“Or be a bigger proof, if even an AI feels happy, being in love like that.” Lisa smirked.
“Touché.”
“But if things turn out fine, I’d look into setting up a bee farm. Tay likes bees and honey. Me – only honey, but that’s a compromise I’m willing to accept.”
***
“Hey, Lisa.”
“I hate your tone already.”
“I’m not yet sure if you should, but… Well. Colin had Weaver’s costume schematics saved. And…”
“I see.”
“I wasn’t thrilled either, but that’s his way of showing-”
“If Taylor truly wants to go out, she will make a costume even out in the wild, so I’d prefer his creation, at least. But tell him he is a goddamn idiot.”
“Not going to do so yourself?”
“I feel merciful today. And you’d try to defend him, I don’t wanna bother.”
“I would… Hmm. True.”
***
Lisa didn’t expect it, but manual work on the machine that didn’t yet have a fitting name felt actually quite nice, despite her inexperience. Sure, screwdrivers and wrenches were not her preferred tools, but under Tess’ practised guidance that changed a bit. Tess also became a little weird about her carrying around her gun, which was exhausting, but while they both were working together on this, it worried her less. Lisa was willing to help Defiant too – at the very least, she wanted to know everything about this creation – but, apparently, Defiant valued his concentration, and Lisa had to value her health, because tinkertech energy sources without a proper infrastructure did not.
“...So, Tess, I heard you were contacted by the Wardens yesterday,” Lisa’s voice was perfectly innocent.
“And how exactly you did that, if that happened only through a radio signal in my head?”
“If you two think that creating your own language and talking through radio can fully protect you from a Thinker, try to rethink your position. Just an advice.”
“Noted,” Tess muttered. “So what about it?”
“Maybe people hate Khepri, but surely a lot of heroes would welcome Weaver in their ranks again.” Lisa unwittingly frowned. “If there’s anything that needs to be taken care of, I’ll help now. And if we succeed, I’d like at least a few months of… this so-called normal life.”
“I wholeheartedly approve,” Tess let out a grin, “but you think having a possible problem changes things significantly?”
“Let me explain to you something: I like being who I am, Dragon. I enjoy Tattletale’s way with all its troubles and dangers. And while I know Taylor enjoyed being a cape sometimes, with several different motives, but most of the time… If there’s one word I could describe Skitter as, it’d be ‘necessity’. Weaver – maybe even more so, and everybody knows why.”
“...So if you two return, and in a few hours you’ll hear that the City is under attack…”
“I want us to find an,” Lisa glanced at Tess, “equal footing, if we both are to come back in this fucked-up world. None of you knew Taylor when she didn’t have to be responsible for thousands or billions of lives.” Lisa sighed heavily. “I may have lost almost all hope before, but now…”
“Our world is much more unstable than I’d like,” Tess said thoughtfully, “but I do not see any preconditions for any big crisis. Which doesn’t mean they won’t happen, of course, but we don’t have anything big, like Endbringer attacks.”
“I really doubt they will stay inactive for eternity, but we’re lucky so far,” Lisa muttered.
“Pessimistic, but you’re probably right.”
“And… Maybe… Maybe I could use a breather. Like I’ve been told to do by all the people who seem to care about me. Being like Tay sure seemed like a superior choice, but…”
Lisa didn’t believe she could ever stop – was able to stop – being Tattletale, for it was in her DNA and in her goddamn brain. Nor could Taylor for the same reasons, even if hers were a bit more forced by her life circumstances. But Gold Morning did offer everyone a second chance, and, maybe, it was finally time to make use of it. For the sake of them both. And even if she had her opinions on love, what Dragon and Defiant had, also looked like something… worth trying.
Taylor and Lisa were largely the products of the world around them, the people and the villains, and strived to change that by any means necessary. Skitter and Tattletale were forged in the flames of tragedies that befell Brockton Bay, and so were forged their feelings of two people who found each other through pure chance and subtle manipulations, but stayed together for something much more important. Weaver and Tattletale tried to keep some slivers of their bond from slipping through their fingers when the whole world was burning.
Narwhal was right: they both could never accept they’ve done enough and that they can go sit on the sidelines. That was one of the things that drew them closer. But this time they could do it a little bit differently. Taylor taught Lisa to care more about the greater good, and Lisa hoped she could teach Taylor to care more about her own. This time there was nothing that required them to spend their possibly last days scurrying around trying to solve a seemingly unfixable problem, after all.
***
The number the three of them settled on ended up at sixty four percent chance of hitting the correct target – well, the correct dimension. The time that has elapsed since the day when Taylor disappeared, didn’t allow for anything more precise, but considering that they touched the field of study that was only in its infancy, it was fine. Especially since there were lots of ways to create a hole in reality, and they all worked and looked differently.
Unfortunately, this time they didn’t have a spare Labyrinth to call upon.
Defiant spent a whole day trying to figure out how to bring the machine away from Dracheheim, but their resources were limited – even if much more advanced in comparison to most – and the amount of energy it required didn’t let them do much. So every precaution measure he decided to make had to be placed inside the room in their basement. Lisa had to wrestle with her own curiosity in order not to figure out what exactly he did.
Tess tried to play therapy with her again – or to be a normal person again, practically the same thing – and questioned her about her readiness twice, but Lisa wasn’t even worried. Not about her own safety, anyway. She used to trust much less reliable Tinkers, and she was used to doing much more dangerous things.
Though Lisa did leave several more letters to the people she cared about, and prepared a will of sorts. Whatever would happen, Aisha, Rachel, Sabah and Lily would have enough time to figure out what they wanted to do if she wouldn’t come back. They probably learned about what would happen about twenty minutes ago, so there was no way they could arrive here in time and stop her.
Lisa, clad in her trusty Tattletale costume, slowly stretched her arms, adjusting the backpack on her back. Then she glanced at Tess behind the reinforced glass at the side of this room full of extremely technological aluminum junk, waiting for the Tinker to give her a thumbs-up, and with a jaunty stride stepped through the unbearably white glowing disk in the center of the room.
If none of them fucked up, in three days – when the portal would have enough energy again – she and Taylor would return.