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He was stuck in a box, of all things to be stuck in. Why did it have to be a box? How uncreative! It’s probably because the guy who put him in it has a box for a head. And wasn’t that his name? It was something like Box. Well what does it matter, Box works for now.
The worst part of this whole affair, second only to the fact that Charlie was definitely going to be super mad at him, was that he was stuck with Alastor of all people. Well not exactly stuck with, Alastor was tied to a chair. They were just stuck in the same area, plus Alastor’s chair had wheels so he wasn’t really all that stuck either.
Speaking of Alastor, he looked way too happy for someone tied to a chair, no matter how unrestricting that chair might be.
Box was talking about something, going on and on about how he was going to ‘‘rule heaven’’, like okay buddy but heaven isn’t that easy. So he mostly blocked him out, instead focusing on Alastor and trying to see if he could sense any sort of discomfort from him. It got to the point where he was squinting just to try and get a better look at any sort of intricate details. Eventually Alastor did what must be his equivalent to a grimace, as the smile never left his face.
“Ah hah! I knew it! You can’t actually be that happy here!” Yeah he probably shouted that a bit too loud.
“Oh but I’m having such a splendid time here! See, my only problem was you staring at me as if I was some sort of zoo animal, even though we can clearly see who here is in a cage! Am I truly that fascinating to you?”
“Yeah no, Bambi. You’re just annoying as fuck.”
“Yes, and normally people intensely stare at things they find annoying.”
“Just trying to figure out how exactly you do it. Did you learn or is your impeccable ability to annoy everyone in your vicinity natural?”
“Why, one with talent never exposes their secrets my dear!”
Was that meant to be a dig at him for letting Box find out about his inability to hurt sinners? Probably, knowing that red bitch.
“I wasn’t aware you had talent? Didn’t you quit your job because I suggested you use a coaster?”
“No, not at all. I quit because of your starkful lack of taste! How in hell did you decide on those decorations? Throw a few ideas into that dreadful hat of yours?”
“Hey, my hat is fine!-” He went to continue but was cut off by Box, seriously?
“Okay what the fuck is happening here? Are you hearing anything that I’m saying right now? Anything at all?”
His attention went back to Alastor, who he saw rolling his eyes. For some inexplicable reason, he found that extremely funny and burst out laughing, and Alastor, to his surprise, did the same.
“What are you two laughing at? I’m literally about to destroy Heaven!”
“Why my dear, not everything is about you! Go on about your silly fantasies if you so wish, but you cannot expect your audience to pay attention when they have far more entertaining company!”
He swears Box almost short-circuited at even the notion that Alastor might find someone more entertaining than himself. Gee, obsessed much?
“Mhm, so why don’t you go back to the drawing board, think of something that actually makes a lick of sense and leave us alone, mkay?” He went to emphasise his point by gesturing with his arms, but then remembered his arms were currently restricted. Great…
But it didn’t seem like Box was paying much attention to him anyways. No, he was much more focused on Alastor.
“Him? More entertaining than me? I not only captured you, Al, but I also captured the king of hell! He’s literally just standing there!”
Alastor laughed at Box again, oh this was going to be good.
“Captured? Oh sweetheart, no! That would imply that there was any real effort. I chose to come with you and Lucifer? You had proved only what, a day ago? That he poses no real threat and he waltzed right into the trap because of his simple mind,” He let out a cry of “Hey!” but Alastor ignored him and continued. “Tell me, how is any of that impressive?”
Box was now blushing. Oh hell, how easy is this guy? Box was short-circuiting again, which gave him an idea. It might be fun to play devil’s advocate here, especially since he is the devil.
“Hey now, he did pretend to be my daughter, which is totally not okay by the way, but you’ve got to give him a little credit!”
“Oh not at all, any person with the slightest bit of sense would have actually checked with their daughter before walking into some strange warehouse! The only reason his plan actually worked is because you, my dear, are dumber than a can of worms!”
“Dude! Why are you incapable of being nice for two minutes!”
“The same reason I assume you never attempted to confirm that it was really Charlie you were talking to on the phone, I simply can’t be bothered!”
He looked over to Box in the corner, who was still glitching.
“Actually that’s not true! You’re nice to that little maid girl! What’s her name? Natty? Nife? NFT?”
What can he say, names just aren’t his thing!
“It’s Nifty. And why would I be rude to her? She’s the only tolerable person at that hotel! Well, besides dear Charlie of course.”
“Right… I think you just have a soft spot for her.”
Box scoffed at that. Can he stop interrupting them? Get the message, no one wants you around box-head!
“Oh please, Alastor isn’t capable of having soft spots. If anything he’s slightly nicer to her because she’s useful! Nothing from him is genuine! Ever!”
“You truly believe that just because I rejected you, seventy years ago may I add, that I am incapable of possessing any sort of affection towards anyone?”
Hold on, rejected?
‘’Don’t say it like that! It was just a business proposal!”
“Seventy years? Over Alastor? That’s sad dude! Like, sadder than sad.”
“Oh it gets worse! Not only has he not gotten over it but he has an exclusive file hidden behind numerous passwords, passcodes and firewalls that has the sole purpose of containing photos of me that he has managed to obtain!”
He and Box let out unanimous cries of “What?” Although his was more of a shocked “What” whereas Box’s was guilty and surprised. Oh this man is really obsessed.
“How did you- I mean that is not true!”
“Oh so your associate Velvette was lying to me? She just so happened to have a file named “Vox’s Super Secret Collection of Alastor?”
This was too good!
“Damn man! I knew you were crazy but not that crazy! Get a grip!” He couldn’t hold in his laughter anymore. Oh hell!
“When did she show you that? How did she even get access!”
Alastor shook his head at Box, and only grinned wider.
“Hun, every single question related to me, and who was right next to her when she was bypassing all of your security?”
“Hah! Didn’t think of that, did you Box!”
Him and Alastor laughed together once more and Box stormed out of the room.
Mission success!
…Wait, what was his mission? Did he even have one in the first place? Whatever! It was successful.