Archive of Our Own

Ten years ago, Ilya’s life was basically the complete opposite of this. His father was living out his final years, Alexei was still demanding money that Ilya wasn't sending. He had virtually no family, his only true friend was Svetlana, and his time was spent partying and dancing with his fair weather friends. 

If that version of Ilya could see him now, practically living in his own spinoff of Full House, then…well, then he'd probably feel extremely relieved. Even if that meant his Joey was Hayden Pike, it was a relief. Because Ilya had a family now, and every week they had a big dinner together, all eight of them.

Tonight, though, there were nine. Because for some reason, Shane and Hayden were still good friends with JJ fucking Boiziau and had invited him to dinner that week. Whatever, Ilya could deal. He'd gotten very used to Hayden, and while JJ was objectively worse, he couldn't be any more intellectually capable than Pike.

And Shane had told Ilya to be on his very best behavior. JJ feels all alone now, Shane had said. The last thing he needs is to feel targeted when he's the guest.

Technically Ilya was a guest too. It was the Pikes’ turn to host dinner, especially since it would apparently be better for “keeping the peace.” Ilya wasn't dumb, he knew keeping the peace meant that they wouldn't make JJ have dinner at their house because he still couldn't get it through his thick skull that Shane and Ilya were married. They had been for years, and would be for the rest of their lives.

“So,” JJ said slowly. “Um, what is it like? All on…one team?” 

Ilya, Shane, and Hayden all glanced at each other. There were many things Ilya wanted to say, like how playing with his husband was great and Montreal’s former 15th best player had been an okay addition. But Hayden started talking first.

“Honestly, it's pretty great. I mean, I get to play with Shane again. And the Centaurs are just…I don't know, the mentality here is just different.”

JJ looked a little hurt by that. Ilya wondered where he got the audacity.

“Yes,” he said. “Ottawa is…accepting. Hayden fits in with the guys, too.”

And even if Ilya couldn't say exactly what he'd wanted to, the look on JJ’s face was still satisfactory. First he looked surprised, then a little disgusted, and then hurt again. He turned to Hayden.

“You two are on a first name basis now too then?” He asked, very clearly trying to sound less angry and more conversational. The kids were at the table, after all.

Hayden sighed. “JJ, we'll talk about it later, okay? Just…eat your food.”

Thankfully, Jackie chimed in. “How's Montreal been? Without us, there must be no excitement at all.” She smiled politely, the same look Ilya had seen her give Arthur's teacher. Jackie often complained about Arthur's teacher.

JJ shrugged. “Yes, I miss going to your house all the time. It's weird, it's like we work an office job or something. We get along fine at work, but no one seems to be friends anymore. Unless they're excluding me. I guess that could be the case.”

Shane made a weird scoff-like noise, then glanced at Jade and Ruby who were very obviously listening, and looked down at his plate. “It's probably just weird for them to get used to. Losing both captains…it’s just different now.”

“Why are you guys acting like that?” Ruby asked, staring directly at Hayden. “Obviously you guys are trying way too hard to be nice about Montreal. But Dad left for a reason, right? So…stop acting all nice, it's making everything super awkward.”

Ilya wondered what would happen to him if he ever spoke to his own father like that. Ruby hadn't said anything wrong, but she had addressed Hayden with a tone that probably would have gotten Ilya…well, he didn't need to think about that. Hayden would never.

Actually, Hayden cleared his throat. “Mom and I told you guys why we left Montreal. It's better for all of us if we're somewhere like Ottawa.”

Ruby stared for a moment longer, then shook her head, apparently deciding against saying anything else. Ilya was sure that Ruby, and probably Jade, had realized why their father left the team he'd been with their entire lives. They were getting older, and both of them were brilliant.

“How about we take a break from hockey talk.” Jackie said decisively. It was very reminiscent of their first ever dinner. 

There was an awkward silence, one that probably everyone expected. Without hockey, there were few “safe” topics. It had taken long enough to get Hayden to the point of general comfort with the relationship, it wasn't like they could just thrust it upon JJ. JJ had been…somewhat difficult. 

“There was a fight at school today.” Jade said, glancing at Ruby, then at Jackie. “These two girls were suspended.”

“What was the fight about?” Jackie asked. Ilya wasn't sure how interesting this conversation would end up being. Twelve year old girls probably didn't have the same kind of fights as he'd had in his life.

Jade shrugged. “Well, the first girl, Bailey, broke up with her boyfriend. And the other girl, Victoria, is friends with the boy. But Bailey still started spreading rumors about Victoria, so she dumped juice on her at lunch. And then they fought.”

Ilya blinked. That was…surprisingly difficult to follow. Before he could ask any clarifying questions, Ruby started talking.

“Bailey’s an idiot, so it was awesome. One time she tried to steal my shirt after PE, so I—” she stopped herself, glanced between her parents, and stopped talking.

Jackie raised a brow. “So you what, Ruby?”

Ruby pressed her lips together. “I didn't do anything that bad. I just pushed her a little, I don't know.” 

Ilya lowered his head to hide the amusement that he was sure was plastered all over his face. Jackie would kill him if he enabled Ruby’s tendency to handle things with her hands, but it was funny.

“And why don't you girls play hockey?” JJ asked, apparently forgetting the one thing they weren't supposed to talk about.

Jackie sighed. “You don't want to hear the answer, JJ. You'll only be offended.”

This made even Shane chuckle. The rest of dinner went by pretty well, if not a bit awkwardly. Shane and Jackie were cleaning up the kitchen, because they usually paired themselves up to force Ilya and Hayden to be near each other. Ilya was coming back from the bathroom when he overheard JJ and Hayden's conversation in the living room.

“It’s just weird. I thought you hated him just as much as I do? Or did. I won't say I hate him, it's not fair to Shane.” 

Ilya usually wouldn't care enough to eavesdrop. But Shane's friends were…different. He supposed he could understand the initial shock of it all, but it had been far too long for JJ to still act like this about it. He sounded a lot like that Bailey girl, starting problems for no real reason.

Hayden took a moment to answer, and Ilya could imagine the face he was making. The two of them still weren't best buds by any means, but at least they could act like grown men about it. 

“It’s just life now, JJ. It has been for a while, and you gotta get used to it at some point, man. You're supposed to be Shane's friend.” Hayden sounded way nicer than Ilya would have. Probably because Hayden and JJ were actually friends.

JJ sighed. “I know, I know. It's just so weird to see this life you guys have now. It used to be me in his seat, your kids used to love me. Now Rozanov is cutting up Arthur's food for him and they all say he's their uncle.”

“I don't know. I mean, sometimes I still wonder how the fuck this is how things happened, but you haven't seen things like I have. Rozanov understands my kids, he gets along with my wife. He's married to one of my favorite people in the universe. It's not like I can keep him out of my life, so I might as well try.”

“It's so lonely without you in Montreal. The guys still act like Shane is some kind of evil being, even though they know he didn't throw that game. And then I have to watch you guys get to play together again and it fucking sucks.” JJ moped. 

Hayden didn't get a chance to answer, because JJ kept talking. Ilya remembered that Shane had said he was pretty chatty, apparently that was very true. 

“I feel like I am on the outside looking in, I guess. It used to be that we were all close, us and Shane. And then you knew about the relationship and I didn't, and I know it's been a long time, but I feel like we haven't talked about it properly and I don't know how to bring it up to Shane. You guys have this whole…I don't know, you have this whole dynamic now and I miss my friends.

“Like, you have that stupid tag with him now. Pikanov. People love that you stop fights that Rozanov starts. Like seriously, Hayd? You clean up after Ilya Rozanov.”

Ilya could agree that it was a bit weird. He wasn't used to playing with Pike. He'd had plenty of loyal teammates, it was an integral part of the sport, but Hayden was like a very well trained dog. But he wasn't being loyal to Ilya, he was being loyal to Shane.

“It's my job, JJ. If I'd gone to Buffalo, I'd play just the same. Rozanov is still not my favorite person by far, and I guarantee he'd say the same about me. We just…coexist. For Shane, because he's important to both of us.”

JJ made a weird noise, a mix between a scoff and a laugh. “Maybe you should have just married Shane.”

“Why does everyone say that? I love my wife!”

Ilya grinned to himself and went to help Shane and Jackie in the kitchen.

— — —

Hayden was honestly a little surprised when they'd asked him if he'd do a quick interview after the game. Back in Montreal, it happened fairly often, especially because he'd been the alternate captain. And then Shane left, and he was the center of the media because of…well, there were a lot of reasons.

Anyways, he wasn't really that interesting in Ottawa. When he'd first been traded, they'd spoken to him for probably two weeks about it, and then he was old news. The media strongly preferred Shane and Rozanov, or Barrett. The Centaurs had been catapulted into a very interesting team, apparently.

So when reporters and cameras came to his locker, Hayden wondered if he'd accidentally done something catastrophic again. There was nothing he could leak about Shane and Ilya, right? He didn't have any major secrets as far as he knew.

Hayden quickly fixed the expression on his face, hoping the cameras hadn't caught his surprise and confusion. He watched as a woman pushed her way to the front and looked right at him.

“Hayden, you've been with the Centaurs for long enough to really be established now. How does it feel to be a part of this team's culture now that you've really had time to integrate?” 

This was a fairly easy question. “Well, this is a great group of guys. I mean, getting to play with Shane again is awesome, like I've said. I really like it here, feels like a family.”

The reporter nodded. “It's become common knowledge that the Centaurs are a very accepting team. With so many openly queer teammates, and others being allies, how do you navigate your own identity with the team?”

Hayden blinked, now kind of confused. Wasn't it already obvious that he was an ally? Was he being homophobic and not realizing it? “Oh, it's great to be part of an inclusive environment. It's important for the league to move forward.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “With you specifically, though, how does it change things for you to be surrounded by acceptance?”

“Um,” Hayden glanced around the room. A few of his teammates were now watching, including Shane and Rozanov. “I’m sorry, can you please repeat the question?”

The woman gave him a weirdly sympathetic look, and Hayden wondered if something had happened for real. Did someone from Montreal say something publicly? Maybe Comeau said something stupid. He was pretty good at that.

“What is it like to be on a team that is accepting, when considering your own identity?”

Hayden felt like maybe he was turning red. Was he just having a hard time understanding? Was she speaking French for some reason? Suddenly he couldn't remember if they spoke French in Ottawa.

“As an ally?” He asked dumbly. The reporter only smiled kindly, and Hayden mentally thanked her for her patience. Was he really this stupid?

“I’ll put it this way. When looking at your teammates—Hollander, Rozanov, Barrett—how can you relate?”

Hayden's brows knotted so tightly that he definitely looked ridiculous. “Holl…wait, you think—” he took a deep breath, because what he said next was very important. “I think you may be mistaken.”

Was she mixing him up with Haas? Hayden was mostly sure that it was like an open secret that Haas was into dudes. But it honestly didn't make sense to mix them up.

The reporter stared at him for a moment, her eyes narrowed slightly. Hayden felt like he was under a microscope. Then she nodded, said okay, and led the cameras with her as she walked away. Harris was ushering the media out of the room, and Hayden continued to feel extremely confused.

Shane came over and sat next to him, a weird look on his face. Why was everyone looking at him with weird faces? 

“That was so weird,” Hayden said. “I think that's the weirdest interview I've ever done.”

“Yeah,” Shane nodded slowly, still making that stupid face. “I think you handled it well, though. I think her questions were kind of invasive.”

Hayden shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. But she wasn't asking them to the right guy, I don't think. Somehow she mixed me up with someone else.”

There was a little laugh, and Hayden looked up to see Barrett was standing closer than he'd been a minute ago. “She definitely meant to ask you, Pike.”

As Hayden began to disagree, there were murmurs of agreement throughout the room. He looked to Shane for support, but found that he too was agreeing with Troy. What the fuck was happening?

Finally, Rozanov of all people said something. “Is okay, Pike. Maybe she was mixed up, maybe she sees something that only you can't. Either way, she was out of place.”

“Out of line,” Bood corrected. “And yes, she was. Do you want us to have her privileges revoked?”

Hayden shook his head. “No, it's fine—What do you mean she sees something only I can't?”

Before anyone could answer, Shane nudged his shoulder into Hayden's. It was a key part of their secret language. This time it meant we can talk later. “Let's all finish getting dressed, guys. Troy, can you ask Harris to speak with that reporter about the team's expectations for the press?”

The conversation around Hayden continued, so he did too. He finished his usual post game routine and went home.

* * *

When Hayden got home, he plopped down on the couch and checked his phone. He had a bunch of notifications, which could only mean one thing. His stupid interview blew up. For a few minutes, Hayden was determined to avoid any chatter. But then curiosity took over, and he opened Twitter.

#1 SHAYDEN SHIPPER @hmpikefan

this reporter knows the truth…hayden IS a bisexual man

kaylee marie :) @kkmarie16

okay we all knew hayden is bi but it's kinda weird to ask him about it when he's not officially out?

Reece Scott @reeceknowsball

Ffs Pike is not gay just because he joined the Cens 

↳ALISON. @alliecat472

we know he's not gay. he's bi! and he loves his wife but he also loves shane it's a whole thing

fiona <3 @myfiona

ok guys. stop speculating about people's sexualities, have we learned nothing? y'all are just as disrespectful as the reporter.

hayden pike’s left glove @stephybug

i hope that reporter isn't allowed back. she was clearly trying to get hayden to say something he didn't even know he would get asked about 

pikanov is TRUE @pikanovander

no matter what i support hayden, i don't think he realized what was happening but i hope he knows his fans love him no matter what 

Hayden stared down at his phone. Was that interview really such a big deal? After so many guys had come out, speculation about others had blown up for a bit. That had included Hayden, especially after he went to Ottawa, but he'd never expected it to go anywhere. Now he had people on the internet getting all emotional about something that definitely wasn't a big deal.

Still, he felt the need to talk it out with someone. Jackie was most likely asleep, having stayed home from the game because going to every single one had gotten old a long time ago. So, he called Shane, because they'd decided to talk later.

Shane picked up quickly, which kind of surprised Hayden. He was almost expecting to be sent straight to voicemail.

“Hey, Hayden.” Shane said. “You're on speaker. Ilya is here too.”

Hayden frowned a little, but maybe it was a good thing. Rozanov had said confusing things earlier.

“Um. Hi.” Hayden said, realizing he wasn't sure exactly how to start this conversation. “Have you looked online at all?”

“Yes.” Rozanov said. “You have lots of very supportive fans. Is weird, I didn't know people liked you.”

Hayden rolled his eyes. “It really isn't that big of a deal. That reporter was mixed up, I don't think she should be kicked out for it.”

“There's a clear agreement between the team and the press. Even if her questions weren't exactly direct, she was trying to get specific information from you. So she won't be welcome back.” Shane said, sounding a lot like Yuna. 

“I guess,” Hayden shrugged, even though they couldn't see him. “Why was everyone acting so weird? Rozanov, what did you mean earlier?”

It took a moment for anyone to say anything, and Hayden thought for a second that the call was ended. But then Rozanov finally answered his question.

“Is no big deal, Pike. Everyone thinks you are in love with Shane, not just me. Probably means I am right, which I usually am.”

“Oh my God, Ilya, just stop talking. You're not helping.” Shane huffed. “What he means is that…sometimes people make assumptions about you. Um..your sexuality.”

Hayden shook his head. “Yeah, I know, it happened a lot when everyone was coming out. Why's this any different?”

“It isn't.” Shane answered. “It just seems like people are responding more because it's coming from a reporter instead of just fans. It makes people assume it's the truth.”

“So…what do I do, then?” Hayden asked. “Do I have to come out as straight or some shit?”

He could hear Rozanov laugh and Shane sigh. “No, Hayden, just ignore it. Responding to their speculation will just encourage them. I don't know, maybe talk to your agent about it, see what the best move is?”

Hayden sighed. “No, no, it's fine. I just didn't understand why everyone was being so weird. Does everyone think I'm into dudes?”

“Yes.” Rozanov said. “It is like…I do not know what I am thinking of. I think some people assume, maybe because I joke. I will stop.”

That was surprising. Hayden definitely did not want sympathy from Ilya Rozanov, but maybe it would stop any more of these frenzies. “Yeah, okay. Uh…thanks, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Hayd.” 

— — —

Playing Montreal always came with a lot of emotions. To some it was nerve wracking because of the amount of extra attention it brought to the Centaurs, but Ilya found it satisfying. Montreal had fallen apart, it seemed, and had lost to Ottawa more than they'd beaten them since Shane's departure.

But that also meant that there was a lot of bad blood, and it wasn't like it was going away any time soon. The Voyageurs believed that Shane had betrayed them, and then Hayden had followed suit. 

So to say the atmosphere in Ottawa’s arena was tense would be an understatement. Ordinarily, Ilya would love it. He'd probably even thrive in it, he'd always played just fine when surrounded by people who hated him. But it wasn't that kind of tension. The Montreal fans that had travelled the two hours to see the game weren't focused on their hatred of Ilya. They hated Shane. And Hayden, but Ilya didn't care so much about that.

For a long time, Montreal playing in Ottawa had been practically another home game for the Voyageurs. But in recent years, Ottawa had become a contender and their fans filled the stands. It was a nice change, even if no one in the building was getting along. 

Ilya stood on the blue line with the rest of the starting lineup, staring forward at nothing. After the Voyageurs starters were announced, the dramatic effects and music started for the Centaurs introductions. First Hayes, then Dykstra, then Chouinard. Then Haas, then Bood. Finally, Ilya’s name was called, and the noise of the crowd was absolutely deafening. 

By now, all of this was like second nature for Ilya. It was still exciting to hear how much this crowd loved him, but he was also used to it. And instead of thinking about his next hockey accomplishments, he'd started to think about what his life would look like after hockey. But for now, all he had to think about was winning the face off and embarrassing Montreal.

It didn't take long for things to get a bit dicey. Everyone was playing especially aggressively on both sides of the puck, desperate to prove something. Well, Montreal had more to prove. They still seemed convinced that they were anything without Shane.

Midway through the second period, Ilya had Troy to his right and Hayden to his left. The Centaurs were up 2-1, Troy having just scored off an assist from Ilya. Montreal’s center was clearly irritated, but was doing a surprisingly good job ignoring Ilya’s usual antics.

Ilya won the face off, because of course he did, and quickly passed the puck to Hayden, who passed it back to Ilya a moment later. They traveled across the ice, passing between the two of them and Troy, weaving between Montreal players. 

Troy sent a pass towards Hayden, but it was knocked off its course by a Montreal defenseman. Hayden followed it to the boards, followed by whoever JJ’s counterpart was. Ilya read the name quickly, remembering Lukkari from one of the last times they'd played Montreal. As Hayden bent again, Lukkari slammed into him from behind and shoved Hayden's body into the boards. Hayden crumpled, his stomach flat on the ice. 

Ilya didn't watch to see if Hayden got up or not. Really, he'd just been looking for a reason to fuck someone up. Ilya caught Lukkari before he made it too far, slamming into him and knocking him right on his ass. As Lukkari stood and tried to defend himself, a referee quickly joined their entanglement and forced the two to stop.

Now that he couldn't fight without risking hitting the ref, Ilya looked back at where Hayden had been on the ice. He was still there, but instead of laying flat on his stomach, Hayden was on his hands and knees with his head down.

“That was intentional.” Ilya said to the ref, glaring at Lukkari, who rolled his eyes.

“I thought you know how this game works, Rozanov.” Lukkari replied, his accent thick. With a shrug he added, “Wrong place, wrong time.”

The ref sighed. “Both of you shut your mouths.”

Ilya turned his gaze back to Hayden, who was now speaking to Terry. Hopefully it was just precautionary, and Hayden only had the wind knocked out of him. Ilya and Lukkari were separated, and as Ilya returned to his bench, they announced the penalties. Lukkari earned a five minute major for boarding, and a game misconduct.

The crowd cheered as Lukkari did his walk of shame into the visitor’s locker room. Ilya watched closely as Terry, Troy, and Chouinard helped Hayden off the ice. He released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and the game continued with Bood replacing Hayden. With Montreal down to five for a short time, the Centaurs scored another goal and grew their lead even further.

Hayden was taken into the locker room to be evaluated. He didn't return to the bench, so it wasn't until the second intermission that the team got to see him again. Of course, Shane made a beeline to his friend, and Ilya wasn't far behind. 

“Lukkari’s an asshole,” Shane said, stopping in front of Hayden with his hands on his hips. “How broken are you?”

Hayden, who was out of his uniform and in his street clothes, was holding a large ice pack against his left side. “It's my ribs. They said it's just bruising, I’ll be fine.”

Ilya frowned. He'd had the same injury more than once, and it fucking sucked. “At least you are not broken, yes?”

“I guess so.” Hayden gave him a weird look, probably because Ilya was never nice to him for very long. But this was Captain Ilya, not…acquaintance Ilya. “Jackie's about ready to hunt down Lukkari. Not even for me, but for her. She's already annoyed that I'm not gonna be much help around the house.” 

“Are you usually?” Ilya asked, raising a teasing brow. Hayden only gave him the finger, turning his attention to Shane.

It took him a moment too long to actually speak, which Ilya had learned long ago meant that Hayden was trying very hard to choose his words very carefully.

“Shane, you really gotta play with your head up out there. I know you always do, and I know you don't need anyone to tell you how to be a better hockey player, but it's gonna get worse. I really think they're gonna try to take you out.” 

Ilya sucked in a breath, only looking at Shane with his eyes and keeping his body completely still. He expected that Shane would brush off Hayden's warning, and didn't want his husband to think he was agreeing with Hayden. Even though he was, mentally. 

Shane had his game face on again. “Those fuckers can try whatever they want. They're still gonna lose, and they're still gonna be miserable. And they're not gonna take me out.”

Ilya and Hayden shared a look, which was kind of weird because when did that start happening. But Hayden just nodded. “I know. I just…Just go out there and win.” 

“You know we will.” Shane answered, carefully patting Hayden's shoulder and joining the rest of the team in their group discussion. Ilya stayed back a minute longer.

He studied Hayden closely, not entirely sure what he wanted to say. Finally, he settled on, “They will know the mistake they made.” 

Hayden looked up at him and nodded, just once. In the end, the Centaurs won 4-2.

— — —

Hayden wasn't sure what he'd done to deserve this. His ribs still hurt pretty fucking bad, and his entire side was a mixture of ugly bruise colors. And now he had to go to the mall with Rozanov?

“I don't understand. Why can't Shane come with me instead?” Hayden asked, looking at his wife. 

Jackie sighed. “I already told you. He said he has a meeting for a partnership with that gross sports drink.”

“Body Armor?” Hayden shook his head, stopping himself before he got distracted. “Okay, so Shane's busy. Why can't I take the girls by myself then?”

“Because, Hayden.” Jackie sounded exasperated, which wasn't any fun at all. “It's a big place. I'd rather have two adults keeping track than just one. And Ilya's good at paying attention, he knows what people are going to do before they do.”

Hayden deliberately stopped himself from saying anything about how as Jade and Ruby's dad he was completely confident in keeping track of them. Especially since they were nearly teenagers now. It was true, anyway, about Rozanov. He could read people super easily. 

“Okay, fine. The mall is the worst place on earth, though.” 

Jackie raised her brows at him. “Oh, so you'd rather sit through Amber's three hour dance class? Where the moms have to learn the dances too? Because I'm sure we can arrange that.”

“Nope, nope,” Hayden held his hands up in surrender, accepting yet another defeat. “I’ll take the girls to the mall with my least favorite person and I will have a blast.”

* * *

The car ride to the mall was less awkward than Hayden had anticipated. Mostly because Rozanov talked to Jade and Ruby more than he talked to Hayden, who was focused on driving. People all around him were driving like complete assholes, and Hayden had to bite his tongue not to say some of the more colorful road rage-isms that were on his mind. 

“Won't people just recognize you?” Jade asked. “Or are you guys gonna wear famous people disguises?”

Rozanov shrugged. “I will wear a hat, maybe sunglasses. No one cares who your dad is.”

Hayden rolled his eyes, glancing at his daughters in the rearview mirror. “People might recognize us, but usually they give us space here. It's a bit different from Montreal.”

“Or Boston.” Rozanov added. “Boston sports fans are—what is it you say? A different breed? They are very loud and love the chance at their favorite players.”

“Must be why you always drove around in those totally inconspicuous cars.” Ruby quipped.

Rozanov turned around to look at her. “You were barely even able to walk, how do you know this?”

Hayden chuckled. He was frequently the victim of Ruby’s sarcasm, and it was honestly satisfying to see literally anyone give Rozanov attitude, especially his own daughter.

Ruby just laughed at Rozanov. “Stick to hockey, Uncle Ilya.”

Rozanov sat correctly again, looking at Hayden. “Your daughter is bullying me.”

“Isn't it wonderful?” 

The remainder of the car ride involved Jade telling everyone about a strange dream she'd had where she had to walk on her hands to get anywhere. Hayden was mostly focused on getting them to the mall in one piece, so he didn't hear much of the conversation.

It wasn't until they had actually made it into the mall that Hayden was able to chill out a little bit. “How the hell did you ever drive in Boston? All I've ever heard is that the drivers there are the worst.”

Rozanov shrugged. “Boston is terrible, but is not worse than Moscow. Moscow is unpredictable, Boston is just…you know. Assholes.”

Sometimes Hayden forgot Rozanov was Russian, in a way. Like obviously he heard his accent, and he knew his name wasn't Canadian or whatever, but he never really talked about it. So in Hayden's mind, it was like Rozanov was from Boston. Or had just spawned into the world, maybe. 

Hayden almost asked a follow-up question, like do people drive aggressively in Moscow? or what is Russian road rage like? But it felt too weird, so he didn't say anything at all.

It was Rozanov who spoke next. They were following close behind Jade and Ruby, who were deep in their own conversation. “What are we here for, again?”

“These two need dresses for a school event.” Hayden answered, remembering Jackie's instructions. “Oh, and shoes I think?” 

Rozanov nodded slowly. “Do they have school dances so young?” 

Hayden shrugged. “I think it's more like a party that they're labeling as a dance? Or Jackie didn't tell me it's a dance because she thinks I'll be weird about it. I made one joke about the girls not being allowed to talk to boys.” 

“Is normal dad comment, I think.” Rozanov chuckled, glancing at the stores around them. 

“Jackie said I'm going to scare them off from dating, which is fine by me. They're twelve, they do not need boyfriends.” 

Of course, Ruby turned around and sent a glare Hayden's way. Jade continued speaking, apparently not sharing her sister's irritation.

Rozanov shrugged. “A boyfriend at twelve is not a real boyfriend anyways. Is just a more grown up version of playing pretend.” He spoke a bit quieter, probably to avoid irritating Ruby further.

“Yeah, I know. I just hate to see them grow up.” Hayden mumbled. 

The girls led them into a Simon’s, which was one of Hayden's absolute least favorite stores. It made him feel like he was stuck in a horrible labyrinth of judgemental women. But Jade and Ruby led Hayden and Rozanov right to the dresses.

Hayden decided to test his luck. “Do you guys think you'll even find anything here? I thought this store was for…I mean, is there going to be anything in your styles?”

Jade shrugged. “It doesn't hurt to look.” And then she and Ruby disappeared in the racks of clothing.

Rozanov looked about as thrilled as Hayden was to be there. They followed the girls at a bit of a distance, allowing them to look through the options themselves while making sure they knew where they were. 

At one point, Jade gasped softly and pulled a dress off the rack. It was off-white in color and had ruffles around the shoulders and the skirt. It looked very plain, but Jade liked it and it was appropriate for a twelve year old, so Hayden wasn't going to say a word.

A few minutes later, Ruby found a dress herself. It was pink with long sleeves and a stiff, also ruffly skirt. With their dresses chosen, the girls headed into the fitting rooms to try them on.

“Are you going to send pictures to Jackie?” Rozanov asked, standing beside Hayden with his arms crossed over his chest.

Hayden honestly hadn't thought of that. “Yeah,” he nodded, pretending that it'd been his intention all along. “She'll want to veto if they're not good. I don't have an eye for this stuff, obviously.” 

Rozanov shrugged. “I do not have a sister and am married to a man. I have less knowledge, probably.” 

As Hayden was about to wonder too much about Rozanov's family situation, Jade and Ruby emerged with their choices on. 

“Okay,” Rozanov clasped his hands together with a clap! sound. “Do a spin. Is important in a dress, you know.”

The girls laughed, but each did a little twirl. Jade's dress was flowier than Ruby’s, but they both looked like dresses normally did when twirled. Or at least, that's what Hayden remembered from Cinderella.

As Hayden pulled his phone out to take a picture, an older woman approached the little hall in front of the changing rooms. “Oh, you girls look lovely.”

Jade and Ruby smiled politely and said thank you to the woman, then looked at themselves and each other in the giant mirror a few feet away.

The woman turned to Hayden and Rozanov, smiling kindly. “You two have such beautiful daughters. What good dads, so involved. You don't see that much.”

Hayden was dumbfounded, causing him to be silent. Rozanov, on the other hand, grinned and wrapped his arm around Hayden's shoulders to pull him close. 

“Thank you, we appreciate that very much.” 

The woman nodded, her smile brightening. Hayden was looking at Rozanov with what could probably be described as horror, but he was still trapped with his right side pressed against Rozanov's. Thankfully it wasn't his injured side.

“Wow, the one in pink looks just like you.” The woman said to Hayden, peering a bit closer at him. “She's got your freckles.”

Hayden chuckled. “Oh, thanks, yeah.” He wasn't sure that he even had freckles. If he did, they weren't very obvious, and definitely weren't like Shane's.

Thankfully, the woman continued on her way after that, and Hayden was able to get a picture for Jackie. When she gave her approval, the girls went and changed out of the dresses.

While they were in there, Rozanov studied Hayden, just like the woman had just been doing. This time, Hayden made a face. “What are you doing?”

“You do have freckles.” Rozanov commented, still staring at Hayden's face. “But they are boring. You have the nerdy kind of freckles.”

“Okay?” Hayden wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. “I can't believe that lady thought you're their other dad.”

Rozanov shrugged. “Daughters, nieces, children of my husband's annoying best friend. It is all the same.”  

Hayden supposed he couldn't argue with the sentiment, though it was definitely annoying to be called annoying. Besides, worse things have happened. One time Amber's teacher misunderstood and thought that Hayden and Jackie were in a big polyamorous relationship with Shane and Rozanov. Hayden had felt so awkward trying to explain that Shane and Rozanov were his kids’ childless, non-biological uncles that were around all the time.

“Whatever, let's go get these shoes so we can get the hell out of here.” Hayden grumbled as the girls returned.

Rozanov just grinned, quietly following the twins to the shoes section alongside Hayden.

— — —

Ilya hadn't been expecting Shane to be home yet, so it was a pleasant surprise to find his husband waiting for him when he got home. Ilya wrapped Shane up in a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck and breathing him in.

“How was it?” Shane asked, his voice sounding distant even though he was right there. “You look unscathed. You didn't punch Hayden at the mall, did you?”

“No,” Ilya replied, pulling Shane down onto the couch with him. Shane now straddled Ilya's lap, looking down at him. “It was nice. Even if it was going to the mall with Hayden.”

Ilya watched Shane's expression. First, he had the same look he always did when Ilya complained about Hayden—that mixture of exasperation and adoration—then he tilted his head slightly and looked at Ilya very closely.

“What's wrong?” Shane asked, resting his hands on Ilya's shoulders.

That was a very loaded question, really. Ilya had a million things on his mind at any given moment. But Galina had told him a long time ago that he should try to speak what was on his mind more often, especially with the people closest to him. Especially with Shane.

“Is no big deal,” he started, toying with the bottom hem of Shane's t-shirt. Really, Ilya wasn't sure how to say anything that was on his mind. It was difficult enough in Russian, let alone stupid English. 

Ilya sighed and started over. “I had fun. I like to do stupid, boring things, even with Hayden. Because it is the life I built with you. But…” he frowned, accidentally causing worry to flicker across Shane's face. Ilya was sure that a million incorrect assumptions were swirling through his husband's mind, so he hurried to continue.

“The girls tried on their dresses, and a random woman came to tell us how beautiful they are and she thought that we were both their fathers.” Ilya looked away from Shane, feeling stupid now.

Shane was quiet, and when Ilya looked back at him, he saw that Shane expected him to continue. So, despite everything in his mind telling him not to, Ilya went on.

“We did not correct them. Or, I guess, I did not. Hayden was just staring like a stupid idiot.” Ilya looked away again. “I just thought it was nice, for someone to think I am a father. I really want to be a father, Shane.”

Now Shane moved his hands to cup Ilya's cheeks. “You will be,” he said softly. “And you'll be a great one.”

Ilya nodded. He knew that he and Shane had a plan, but it felt like it was eons away. “Yes, I just want a baby very badly. We cannot even have happy accident.” 

“You're so weird,” Shane laughed softly. “Is this just because of your shopping trip today or…has this been on your mind for a while?”

Lying would do no good here. Shane probably already knew the answer. “It is on my mind all the time. I spend time with the Pikes and I wish they had weird not-cousins. I see you with them and all I want is you to be a father with me.”

Shane nodded slowly, leaning forward and planting a gentle kiss on Ilya's forehead. “As soon as we retire, we'll start our family.”

Ilya took a deep breath. “Yes,” he mumbled in reply. “Maybe we can start thinking about…you know, logic things now?”

“Logistics?” Shane smiled. “Sure, we can talk logistics. What are you thinking?”

So Ilya began to share the scenarios he'd been keeping in his mind. He and Shane going through the process of finding a surrogate, or maybe adoption. He even imagined it maybe happening sooner rather than later, if he and Shane just tweaked their plan a little. Maybe Ilya could talk to Hayden about what it was like to become a father…you know, for Shane.