Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

King: “Two weeks, kid. Let me down and I’ll kill you.”

I huff, gettin’ ready to leave with my remaining beers. This brat’s gonna be the end of me.

Air's less cold once I open the door. Must be forgettin’ something.

King: “Oh, and by the way…”

It was somethin’ Patsy suggested. Ol’ Saber wasn’t on board, but what can he do? I’ve already decided, just now.

King: “... We got a thing we’re doing later tonight, after some training. Patsy, Saber and I. “

King: “The public gym’s nice, but the one at my place is a whole lot nicer.”

King: “Just puttin’ it out there. If you wanna… tag along.”

I make the door wider and turn ‘round, expecting him to light up.

Disappointed myself when all he gave me were tired mumbles and a gesture to some hideous “bed” made from sad sacks of dry cement.

I know I just roughed him up, but he really looks like shit.

King: “Oookay then.”

I shut the door and start headin’ back.

The small steps on this abandoned pile of bricks make it risky to think about the rest of my plans for today.

My bag of beer bottles clink and trickle cold moisture onto my forearm, mixing with warm sweat from earlier.

I’m fine with falling down, but I’m tryin’ to save these precious babies for later.

…

Takes an annoying amount of fiddling to wipe the fluids off. It tickles, a lil’ more than the pathetic knife Krager tried to stab with.

Ah, damn it all. I was really lookin’ forward to throwing him off that roof.

Poor kid needs a break, but I ain’t gonna be the one to give it to him.

…

And who the hell does he think he is? Still loiterin’ around the top of this goddamn building.

That weasel should’ve given him a good room by now. He’s not that kind of cruel.

I oughta– FUUUCK. Fuck me.

All I can do is watch as the beers crash and shatter on three different floors.

Bag must’ve caught on the railing, and my arm just ripped it in half without asking for my permission.

Alright. That does it. I make my way up to that sad bastard again.

King: “Actually–”

He yelps like a wet little pup when I catch him by surprise.

King: “Yeah, actually– I've decided just now: You don’t get a choice. This is an order. Let’s go.”

He looks completely out of it.

Lance: “I… haven’t slept… in two goddamn days.”

Claws wildly at his eyes as he mouths it out. If I hadn’t seen how weak he fought, I’d almost be scared of him.

Lance: “If you’re trying to kill me, there are easier ways to do it!”

King: “Well, lucky you. Not only does my place have a gym, but a bedroom too. Imagine that.”

Lance: “I have my own. Fucking. BEDROOM!!!”

So easy to taunt.

Can’t help but grin when his pissy little ears come down eventually. ‘Least he’s learned a little something for now.

The yellow brat follows without another word, but I catch him sniffling a bit.

Tough luck, kid. Time to come down.

…

…

Two steps. He took two fuckin’ steps before tumbling down. Bloody hell.

Went to check his pulse, even though it’d be best to just let him die naturally now.

He’s out cold. Fuckin’ amazing.

…

Well, I’ve already decided that you’re coming no matter what. Nighty-night.

I pick him up like a dirty towel and hang him limp over my good shoulder.

On my way down, I notice one bottle, just one bottle, still perfectly intact. Crouched on the corner of the steps.

Guess I was too focused on the ones that broke to look if any’d survived.

I pick it up, crack it open, and sip…

… Hm. Not too bad.

You live for another day, Lance Krager.

Chapter Text

Saber: “You... brought him?”

Mr. Grumpy’s already got his big little arms crossed.

King: “Yeah.”

Mr. Canine, on the other hand, refuses to put a leash on his own damn tail whenever we’re alone like this.

Patsy: “Aw, sweet! Where is he?”

King: “Bedroom. Don’t wake him up. He needs this special treatment, ‘least for now.”

Patsy: “You didn’t… break his arm, did you?”

I give him a huff and a sigh. No point in answerin’ that.

King: “Look. What’s important is he’s not gonna be joinin’ us tonight, but it’s still go-time for us.”

King: “Only brought him here so I could keep a better eye on him. Just seemed like the type to jump when given the chance.”

I make a gesture of a man falling down a skyscraper usin’ my fingers. Sorta hard to do it with just one hand.

Patsy: “Gnarly.”

Saber: “Sure hope he does.”

…

Patsy: “...”

Patsy: “What?”

Saber: “Agh, whatever. Let’s just get on with it.”

Alright, time to break the news.

King: “The Rockers broke. All of it. Sorry, boys.”

Always took a lil’ while for Patsy to register things. So, I use my one and only hand to lock the dragon’s maw tight, right before he could explode.

King: “Ah, ah, ah. Let me finish.”

King: “Now because of that, we’re gonna be doing somethin’ even better for the occassion…”

Patsy: “Wait, hang on a sec… So, um, we’re not doing karaoke night?”

I let go of Saber to grab the real stuff in my fridge. Made him drop that frown real quick.

King: “Nope.”

I toss ‘em both a bottle of whiskey, the ones we quietly dosed with whatever chemicals Resoom’s been using to regulate my body.

Patsy: “But isn’t this your–”

King: “Patsy.”

He finally understands when I brush my hand against his collar. Saber doesn’t hesitate in taking a big sip.

Saber: “Goddamn, that stings.”

King: “Figured we’d celebrate living through our first loss together with somethin’... special.”

We all have our own ways of hiding some secrets behind those nosy white-coats.

These drinks would only soften the blows a little, but it’ll certainly make it more fun for us.

Patsy finally joins when I chug half the bottle. I really only needed the taste of some whiskey, to be frank.

King: “Alright, boys. Rules are simple:”

King: “Both of you, against me. Best of five. No weapons, except for clubs. Goal is to make the other tap out, get knocked out, or scream.”

Saber: “Hold up. Scream?”

King: “Yyyup. Any of us make any sound louder than how the other one snores, then the noisy bird loses that round.”

Patsy: “But you guys said I don’t snore…”

Saber makes a slightly pained expression as he tries to wave it off.

Saber: “Eh… yours is more of a faint whistle, really. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Patsy.”

King: “Right. What that means is, all you boys need to win, is for me to make a tiny lil’ squeak.”

Patsy: “Wait, so then that also means that all we need to lose… is to be as loud as you snooze.”

Patsy: “... And you snooze like a pretty big drill, boss. No offense.”

I peek into my room.

King: “It’s the only way to keep this fair for both of you.”

Once I turn ‘round, with the door locked tight, I show ‘em that face worthy of a real good punch in.

King: “Loser owes free drinks next boys night. Don’t be pussycats now.”

I’m crouched to give ‘em a headstart. The two waste no time sprinting wordlessly towards me, eyes trained on my legs.

Absolute SCOUNDRELS… Tryin’ to knock me off my feet now that my good arm’s gone. Hah!

Good. Real good. You’ve trained since.

But not quite good enough.

I kick Patsy into the cupboards, yelping and catching the mug that rolled off the kitchen counter. Shame, would’ve been loud enough if it shattered.

Was leaning against the wall to balance myself for that kick, but now I’m thrusting against it to steamroll good ol’ Saber.

He manages to spring out the way, leaving myself vulnerable on the ground.

Patsy’s feet scratch soft vibrations on the floor. And judging by Saber’s tactical face slowly turnin’ horrified, he’s about to club me with somethin’ big and loud.

I smile and wait. Doggy took the bait.

And... PANG! The floor cussed out my metal pan. Well, poor Patsy was probably aiming it for my head, but I rolled out the way unfortunately.

Patsy: “Wh-”

Saber: “Patsy, you idiot!”

He jerked toward the dog to vent his frustrations, shaking him by the shoulders now. I take my time gettin’ up to stretch and head to my room.

King: “Alright, alright. I’m givin’ the two of you the chance to talk this out. Somethin’ I need to get real quick.”

The whole point of this is to get ‘em used to doing a silent takedown when we’re dealing with more than just one guy.

And that means no more half-assed strategies. We go all in, or we die.

…

They’re both still bickering when I close the door to my bedroom.

Krager’s in the same position I left him. Except…

King: “You do know your ears are up, right?”

He grumbles and rolls away, taking the fresh blanket over his head.

King: “D’aww… Ain’t that cute.”

I loudly open my cabinet and search for the earmuffs. I toss a fresh one to the back of his head so I’d hear a lil’ thud.

King: “Here. Bought three of those for Patsy, so don’t go stinking it up.”

King: “Didn’t think we’d be that loud. But, now that you’re finally conscious... we’re gonna be.”

Not sure why, but standing in front of doors always have a strange way of makin' me remember things. 

King: “Oh, and you can get any food y’want from the fridge.”

King: “Just uh, try not to get in our way. It’s rowdy out there.”

…

Still won’t budge. Alright.

We’ll be right outside when morning strikes.

I slide the door open and, sure enough, the two are already wearing those faces that I’ve been waiting all night for.

Whatever remains of my bottle is flushed straight into my stomach.

Now I know, with brains inside my knuckles, that I’m gonna LOVE every bloody second of these next few fights.

Because tonight, and just for tonight,
I’m gonna feel what it’s like to get my ass handed to me again.