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He had been here before. It was easy to trace the footsteps without marking the stones as his guide, it all felt like a second home.
Jason ignored the flooding memories of the night he crawled out of his own grave five years ago. He was too determined, that the flashbacks of the blood dripping down his fingers from prying his coffin open, and the echoes of his screams he let out last year in his bathroom, were overpowered.
He walked the cemetery in his best suit. The one he never wore. The one he wanted to wear. No one knew, but beneath the shirt hung a thin chain, with a razor blade as its pendant. Used, but still good. Stained, both with blood and memory.
He walked until he spotted a tomb. Dried out, not a single flower petal on sight. He brushed his finger over the engraved stone before revealing a thin red rose bouquet.
Jason put the bouquet down in front of the tomb, his hands were shaking. He was kneeling down staring at the stone, as if he was begging for someone’s mercy, then he felt a hand on his shoulder.
You stood behind him, your fingers sat gently on his shoulder. The only words that came out of your mouth was: “You look pretty.”
The raspiness of your voice made him whip his head towards your direction. You’d expect Jason to embrace you in a tight hug, or to crash his lips in one swift motion. Instead, he kept his head facing your direction with tears rolling down his cheeks.
You knelt down as well, keeping your fingers on his shoulder. By the grace of the universe, you wiped his tears with your other hand and caressed his cheek afterwards.
Jason didn’t have to explain his sorrow. You knew what it was all about.
”You look prettier than I remembered.” Came his response. His eyes scanned the black dress you were wearing, unscathed and pristine. Then his gaze met yours.
There was a silence between both of you, “I had hoped you didn’t forget.” You spoke. There was no need to keep the voice down, because you thought there would be no one else until you heard a rustling sound.
Apparently Jason heard it too as he whipped his head to the sound’s source. Once he registered a flicker of the searchlight, he quietly crawled to the back of the tomb. It was big enough to curl and hide behind it.
He held his breath, trying to be as quiet as possible until the distant sound of footsteps disappeared.
”They’re gone, Jason.”
He peeked out to the gates, to make sure of it.
”It slipped from my mind that it’s the time.”
Jason huffed, “that’s fine.” He was crawling back slowly to his original place when he heard a gun being cocked. He whipped his head up, and found you pointing a gun to his head.
“How long have you been planning this?” The words came out of your mouth like disappointment. Like pieces of your shattered heart rolling down your tongue.
As Jason stood up, you kept his gun trained on him.
”Did you live at all?”
The muscles on his face folded in pain. His fingers moved to loosen his tie and open the first 3 buttons of his shirt to reveal the razor blade necklace on his chest, and the small cuts on his skin.
You fell silent. It never occurred to you that the curves of it were a piece of your memory. You looked at his eyes for an answer.
“Did you get what you deserve?” He replied, his voice was barely audible.
The silence fell once more, lingering around both of you like the fog. Jason took small, slow steps towards you and the gun until his forehead touched the barrel. “It’s alright. It’s alright, baby. We’ll go home after this.”
He wrapped his hands around you, locking your fingers around the gun and the trigger.
It’s alright.
It’s gonna be alright.
Way down.
Way down.
Way down.