Chapter Text
‘I love you’, Mike says and it feels so, so good to finally be able to say those words. To be able to smile and not feel a sadness in his stomach telling him this moment will soon be over. To see the blue sky up above and knowing that he could stay out here forever if he wanted to, as there was no cell for him to go back to. He smiles and shakes his head slightly, letting out a soft laugh. ‘I love you’, he says again, a slight look of surprise on his face at his own actions. God, he feels like a twelve year old schoolgirl. When he finally looks up at the person across from him though, he is met with silence. Silence and a very angry looking Harvey Specter.
***
‘Mike…Mike, come on man, wake up. Mike!’ Stirring slightly, Mike opens his eyes to look at the hand on his shoulder. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light, although the voice is familiar enough for him to know whose it is.
Immediately sobering up, Mike sits up straight. ‘What’s wrong?’, he asks, now wide awake, seeing Kevin’s worried expression.
‘I was about to ask you the same thing. What the hell were you dreaming about man, I think you woke up the whole county’.
Letting out a shallow breath, Mike sinks back against the wall and shakes his head to try and clear it. ‘I..I’m sorry, must have been one hell of a nightmare’. He tries to laugh it off, but Kevin isn’t buying it.
‘Uhuh, you sure? I mean, not to go all Dr Phil on you but you seemed pretty peaceful until a certain someone made an appearance.’ At the confused look that crossed Mike’s face at that statement, Kevin let out a soft laugh. ‘You kinda talk in your sleep, names and random words mostly. But only sometimes. I’ve began noticing a pattern… So I’ll ask again, are you sure you’re ok? Did something happen? Is it the deal?’
Mike needs a minute to take it all in. Talking in his sleep? A pattern? What the hell has he been saying? God, he hopes he didn’t say anything confidential these past few weeks! Noticing Kevin’s stare, Mike quickly shakes his head. ‘No, no, everything’s good. I’m just trying to stay calm about the whole ‘getting out part’ until I actually get out of these gates. Sadly, my subconscious isn’t on board with that plan, so it seems.’ Noticing it’s still dark, Mike sneaks a glance at his alarm and sees it’s only 3.15. ‘I’m ok, really. Now go, get some sleep. I’ll try and keep my anxious mind in check.’, he laughs before lying back down and pulling up the covers. ‘As you know, kitchen duty waits for no man.’
Kevin grumbles something Mike doesn’t quite catch, but he thinks he hears a murmured ‘Specter’ in there somewhere. He decides to let it slide for now and tries to think of happy things. When those thoughts lead him to a certain man, a certain apartment, even a certain suit, he decided to leave that train of thought and go for counting sheep instead. He’s still counting when the lights come on and another day on the inside begins.
***
After three sleepless nights, afraid of what might happen if he lets his thoughts go back to their usual happy place, Mike has had enough. He doesn’t know what to do, but he does know who to call. Borrowing Kevin’s phone again, who had actually suggested Mike call someone as he ‘looked like shit and clearly needed to get something of his chest’, Mike sneaks into the bathroom and dials the all too familiar number.
‘What’s wrong?’ comes the immediate response from the other side after a single ring.
‘Who said something was wrong, can’t I just be calling to hear your sweet voice?’. Hearing Donna’s voice instantly made Mike feel better and a smile is threatening to split his face already.
‘Charming… but no. I know you Mike. And I also know you wouldn’t be calling at this hour with a borrowed phone if you just wanted to hear about my day. So tell me, what’s wrong?’
It’s weird but hearing Donna’s concerned voice makes him feel better, loved. Donna’s a bit like the older sister he never had and although he never really wanted one, he is forever grateful that he got her anyway.
‘I don’t know. I haven’t been sleeping well…or at all really. It’s just, part of me wants to celebrate the fact that I’m getting out in a few days. But it also feels unreal, like an elaborate joke. I’m afraid of going to pick up my stuff on Friday and hearing that it was all a prank, that I will be stuck here for two more years…’. He lets his voice drift off, cursing himself for sounding so emotional, so dumb. Part of him wonders why he had called Donna with his issues, part of him didn’t. Because as much as he loved Rachel, she wasn’t who he needed right now. Thinking about it that way, Donna wasn’t truly who he needed right now either, but she came close enough to the real thing…for now.
‘Mike, calm down. Its real, all of it. I promise, this time next week, you’ll be bringing me my favourite coffee with a smile on your freshly shaven face.’ Donna’s voice has gone soft, like a mothers, and he can’t help but smile at the fact that that simple sentence calmed him more than anything had these past few days. ‘Harvey’s been busy with the paperwork for days, trying to get you out as soon as possible. But you knew that already. Which leads me back to my first question Mike, what’s wrong? It’s not like you to worry this much’.
Mike shakes his head, knowing Donna won’t be able to see it. He feels foolish, although he doesn’t regret calling, not really. He just doesn’t know how to tell her what’s going on inside his head. He knows Harvey’s doing everything he can, knows he has all these amazing people…friends…on his side. Yet there’s just something off. Maybe it’s him, maybe he’s the weak link in this all. He hears Donna’s steady breathing on the other side of the line and knows he hasn’t answered her question yet.
‘I wish people would stop asking me that’, he says softly before running a hand through his hair. ‘I… I gotta go. Thanks Donna…’. Not waiting for her reply, Mike hangs up and puts the phone away.
Although he is able to go about his day better after having heard Donna’s voice…and yes, he knows how sentimental that sounds…the dream turned nightmare from days ago keeps nagging at him. Although he isn’t exactly sure if it was the nightmare itself or the love confession he’d made.
Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t something new. Mike knew he loved Harvey, had known from the second he’d stepped into that hotel room the first time they met. He’d always been a firm believer in love at first sight, even if he didn’t dare admit that to anyone, and had fallen for its charm more than once. Although he’d never before fallen this deep. The first weeks working with Harvey had been strange, not just because of the massive lie they were living, but because he couldn’t read Harvey as he could read everyone else. So, Mike made the only realistic move he could make and after reading the signs (or lack thereof) coming off of Harvey, he’d put away those feelings.
Pursuing Rachel had helped in taking his mind of Harvey and he did truly love her, really. Just not as much as someone who’s planning on spending the rest of their life with someone should.
Rolling over in bed for the millionth time this sleepless night, the fourth in a row, he sees a small blinking light underneath Kevin’s pillow. Good for him, Mike thinks, smiling to himself as he pictures Jill sending her husband a sweet message in the middle of the night to let him know they’ll make it through. Mike normally wasn’t this sentimental, or at least he liked to think that he wasn’t this chick-flick, but the thought of Kevin and Jill one day being able to live happily ever after made his eyes sting. He turned over once more, facing the wall. Trying to keep his breathing steady, he finally started drifting off. “Happily ever after…”
***
The next morning came quicker than Mike liked, but he couldn’t complain. The sleep had done him good, his face looking less sick and pale than it had in days, and he was actually happy. He’d gotten a good six hours of sleep during the night, undisturbed by nightmares. Getting up from his bunk, Mike noticed Kevin smiling at him from the other side of the room.
‘Looks like someone finally got some sleep! Good to see you’re still among the living. You’ve uhhh…you’ve got mail”. With that, Kevin tossed Mike his phone.
Although still sleepy, Mike caught it swiftly, before staring at the black screen for a second. A message, for him? Could that have been the light he saw blinking at midnight? Although a certain sadness washes over him at the thought that it wasn’t Jill, his curiosity brings a newfound feeling of giddiness with it. Clicking the centre button, the light comes on. He finds himself staring at a text.
The paperwork just came through, I’ll be picking you up at 4 tomorrow.
Don’t be late. Wear something nice. H.
It takes a moment for the contents of the text message to register with Mike. Kevin is saying something, but he’s not really hearing it. Kevin seems to notice as he gets up to put a hand on Mike’s shoulder. Mike registers the shadow looming over him, the hand on his shoulder, but he just can’t take his eyes away from the text. He’s getting out, Harvey did it. He’s getting out in a couple of hours! Finally, it all clicks in his head and he looks up, smiling slightly at Kevin, who smiles back.
‘He really did it, huh’, Kevin says, sitting down on his bed again now that Mike has regained full consciousness. ‘You’ll be a free man in 9 hours’.
Mike wants to shout it from the rooftops, tell every single person he can, but he keeps his enthusiasm down. Kevin is still stuck in here and rubbing it in his face just isn’t Mike’s style. Giving a quick nod to the phone in his hand, he tosses it back to Kevin with a soft ‘Yeah.’
The rest of the day goes by in a blur. His last kitchen shift before packing his stuff, saying goodbye to Kevin (it’s not a real goodbye as he’s determined to stay involved with Kevin and Jill’s case) and signing some paperwork before getting his stuff back and walking out through the big gates.
The sun is bright and he’s already regretting his outfit, but it wasn’t like he had much choice. Putting up a hand to cover his eyes from the sun, the gates behind him close and it’s really over. He’s a free man.
‘Ready to go?’ a voice asks and Mike’s face splits into a smile.
‘Not sure yet, I kinda miss the kitchen already’, Mike retorts, turning in the direction of the voice. And there he is. Harvey Specter, looking as sharp as ever, leaning against a black town car. Mike gives the car a once over, loving the familiarity of the situation before him. He can see Ray’s hands on the steering wheel, but the glare from the sun makes it impossible to make out anything else.
Mike walks over to the car and, before he loses his nerve, puts an arm around Harvey’s shoulder. Harvey doesn’t seem to mind though as he puts both of his around Mike’s slender frame. One moment, one blissful moment, Mike can let go and let Harvey surround him. But, like all good things, the moment has to end and Mike pulls back, smiling.
‘Good to see you kid’, Harvey says, before opening the door and stepping aside for Mike to get in. Mike can’t help but smile at Harvey’s choice of words as Harvey continues, ‘Let’s get you home’
The drive home is quiet, Mike and Harvey sitting in silence, letting the soft music from the radio fill the air. They don’t need to talk, never had that need to fill the silence and Mike is grateful for that as he wouldn’t know where to start. Looking out of the window at the beautiful buildings, bathed in sunlight, Mike feels Harvey’s eyes on him. He doesn’t think too much of it for the first couple of minutes, sure that Harvey is just checking for any new bruises or making mental notes on his haircut. Maybe Harvey isn’t even really looking at him, but at the world outside of his window. Maybe Harvey is staring without actually seeing anything, his mind filled with other stuff. Maybe, maybe, maybe, the list of options is endless.
Taking a deep breath, Mike turns his head and finds his answer. Harvey is looking directly at him, the intensity of his stare taking Mike’s breath away for a second. The look on Harvey’s face is unfamiliar, yet not unpleasant. Mike’s just not used to being on the receiving end of long stares as they usually go out to the people’s he’s with in public like Rachel whenever they go out, or Harvey himself whenever they’re meeting with a client. He decided he likes it though, as he locks eyes with Harvey.
‘I got your text’, Mike breathes softly, keeping his eyes steadily on Harvey.
At this, Harvey smiles, taking his eyes of Mike as he shakes his head fondly.
‘Hope I didn’t disappoint’, Mike adds with a steady voice full of newfound courage as he gestures at his outfit.
‘Well, you’re no Neal Caffrey but it’ll do’, Harvey responds without missing a beat, mock disappointment fleeting over his face before it breaks out into a smile. He lets out a breath then, letting his eyes slip over Mike’s frame once more as he adds softly ‘God, I’m glad it’s over…’
‘Me too’, Mike says and it’s enough for now. It’s all they need to say and they both know it as they slowly resume their earlier positions and Mike goes back to staring out at over the city.