Work Text:
On a cold evening in Gotham, Batman sits in silence, worrying. He does not know if he has the words to express his many thoughts.
Batman is in agony. He is suffering severe mental distress because of his feelings for his fellow crime-fighter Superman. He agonizes over whether to tell his dear partner how much he loves him. His indecision is causing him a lot of pain. If Superman were anyone else, Batman might not be as anguished, but he would be in even greater agony to lose such a close friend’s trust.
“Batman!” calls Batman’s best friend and son, Robin, as he enters the batcave. Robin is Batman’s most excellent sidekick. He just finished battling the Penguin, besting him in a fight, and came to check on Batman. Robin knows him best. Robin knows him better than anyone else. He quickly realized what a terrible mood Batman seemed to be in. “You do not look your best today. You look horrible. You’d best tell me what is bothering you so I can help you.”
“Robin,” sighs Batman as he looks up at his computer. He stares at his electronic machine used for storing and finding information. On the computer screen is a large image of Superman. “I thought I could compute the probability of Superman returning my feelings for him, but such a thing cannot be quantified. Feelings are not math.”
“Yes, I could’ve told you that. You’re a detective, Batman. Can’t you just detect Superman’s feelings through deductive reasoning and clues? Couldn’t you just find the evidence for yourself and put together the truth?”
“It is not as easy as you make it sound, Robin. It is, in fact, very hard. I cannot understand Superman’s heart as easily as I can the minds of criminals. If I could, I would be at ease. But instead I am tormented by doubt. Superman can be very evasive.”
“I feel sorry for you, Batman. I am sympathetic to your depressing outlook on this situation. Your feelings for Superman are very strong and I do think that he returns them. I think Superman feels the same emotions as you do when he sees you. But at this moment, I feel itchy because of the slime in Gotham Bay. The slime is touching the skin of my legs and it is uncomfortable and also possibly radioactive. I will go get cleaned up and I will feel better; maybe you should do the same. Good luck.”
Robin bids Batman good-by and leaves for the shower. Batman waves good-by to his son-friend in the opposite of a hello, and now he is alone once more.
He wishes he had some help to solve this problem of his. If only there was someone who could take on part of the problem and make the work easier. But one of his favorite helpers is Superman himself, and he certainly can’t help Batman decide what to do. He cannot assist Batman in managing the feelings he caused.
“This isn’t something that will sort itself out,” Batman declares after another long moment of self-pity. He is a hero, and he must act like one. “There is not any way to get around this anymore. Even if Superman isn’t going to love me back, I must find out for myself. He isn’t a mind-reader, so I will have to confess.”
With that decided, Batman jumps up from his chair. He makes a small leap with his feet. Batman’s heart jumps at the thought of seeing Superman. But the skip of his heart is not enough to stop him. He jumps into the driver’s seat of the Batmobile and speeds off toward his friend’s home.
On his way to Metropolis, Batman imagines the best-case scenario. Perhaps Superman will be overcome with joy and kiss Batman. They might touch their lips together! A kiss from Superman would be very exciting. Batman feels his face grow hot. He decides to concentrate on driving instead of daydreaming.
The ride to Metropolis is less than an hour. It does not take more than 60 minutes. It is a smaller duration. During his commute, Batman tries to think less about what could go wrong. He tries to keep a bigger number of his thoughts on the positives instead. This is less easy for Batman than catastrophizing, but he will be optimistic. He will turn some of his hope inward for once.
When he crosses the city limits, he almost immediately meets Superman, who is flying in the sky above. He did not think they would meet so soon. He isn’t sure he is ready to see Superman. But Superman flies alongside his car until Batman pulls to a stop in a secluded street next to a small park. Superman must want to get together face-to-face for a meeting.
“Hello, Batman!” Superman greets brightly when Batman steps out of the car. Batman is already nervous about how this conversation will go. He is timid and feels anxious about everything going wrong. He is so uneasy that his nervous system is struggling. Batman is having difficulty making his body move the way he wants.
Batman has to take a deep breath. He will be brave and confess. “Superman, I have an offer to make you. I have a proposal for an opportunity you may be interested in. I will only make this offer to you, and no one else. No other person will get this chance. What I offer is my heart. I want to give it to you because I love you.
“To me, Superman, you are perfect. You are amazing and without flaw. You are kind and smart and care about everyone. You have perfected the art of fighting for justice. It would be perfect to me if we could become more than good friends. I would be very happy.”
For a moment, Superman is quiet. He does not make any noise. He is so quiet that Batman can hear his own heart pounding. Now he is nervous again! If Superman continues to stand there quietly without giving him a response, he feels his heart might explode.
Suddenly, Superman breaks out in a radiant smile! His grin is bright and blinding like the sun. His radiance almost makes it seem like it is daytime again. Superman’s light is like no other’s. He is the most special to Batman. Warmth seems to radiate from his very being.
With his big hands, he seizes Batman by the arms. “Batman, I will gladly seize the chance that you have offered! I will certainly take it. Every day, my own heart seizes at the thought of you. Sometimes it hurts to think about how much I love you. I will agree right away before someone else can seize you from me.”
“There is no one else,” Batman says, feeling terrific that Superman returns his feelings. At first, it was a terrific and daunting task to tell Superman how he felt, but now everything is marvelous! “Superman, do you really love me? I can hardly believe such terrific and wonderful news.”
“Yes, Batman. I hope you understand that I am telling the truth. I hope that you get the meaning of my words. No one understands me like you do. We complement each other. We fit each other like hand and glove.”
Batman is immensely moved by Superman’s speech. “You are right. Superman, I vow to make you as happy as I can. I promise I will care for and cherish you. It is my vow that we will continue to be great partners in every way. And perhaps one day we could exchange wedding vows…”
“That sounds like a wish come true,” Superman says. He smiles at Batman, and pulls him into a hug. They hold the embrace for a long time. “It is something I want very much. I wish we had done this sooner. Now I will wish that we can be together forever. I have a strong need for it.”
“I do too. You do not need x-ray vision to see how much I care for you. Looking through me will not tell you more than this will.” And Batman kisses Superman on the lips.
“You are very good at kissing, Batman,” Superman says. “The person I am looking at is taking my breath away. I want to bring you somewhere more private so we can continue to kiss. I want you and I to spend lots of time together, now that we are sweethearts.”
Batman agrees, and Superman joins him in the batmobile to drive to Superman’s home. For now, Batman has zero worries. With Superman here, reciprocating his feelings, 0 things are concerning him at the moment. Batman has nothing to think about but the man by his side.