Chapter Text
*July 2005*
Shane saw Ilya waiting for him, leaning against the fence and talking with his hands to Rose. Ilya hadn’t noticed him yet, Shane was certain, but he couldn’t make out his eyes for his hair, which was in desperate need of a trim. Noticing him first, Rose smiled and beckoned him over to them.
“Hey.” He pulled his arms through the straps of his backpack, Ilya insisted wearing a bag over both shoulders made him look like a loser, but Shane thought it was much more practical.
“Took you long enough.” Rose smiled, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Why do you have a bag?” They began walking down the sidewalk, the sun was still high in the sky, even though it was already past six.
“He is staying at mine after. Dad is away for weekend with Alexei.” Ilya explained, he was also fidgeting with his hair, Shane couldn’t stop thinking about how badly he needed it cutting, he could barely see the upper half of Ilya’s face.
“Why didn’t you say? We could’ve thrown a rager.” Rose was also fidgeting social butterfly, and jumped on the idea of planning a gathering, he supposed it was the thing that made her so popular.
“You always make big mess, I’m too lazy too tidy.”
“I did tell him, to invite you guys. And I offered to help clean up. ” Shane watched Ilya, who was looking ahead, he didn’t say anything in response, not that Shane had been trying to get a rise out of him.
“We’re not that messy. Anyway, I’m glad you’re coming Shane.” Rose was referring to the party they were currently on their way to. Shane wasn’t a particularly sociable guy, and parties were not his thing, he was only attending Maria’s that evening as it was the unofficial graduation party, and everybody in his grade would be attending. He expected himself to be back at Ilya’s by no later than eleven, and he had already decided he would not be drinking, even if the option arose.
“Yes. Me too.” Ilya nodded, grabbing his phone out his pocket to check before shoving it back in.
“You should’ve seen my mom’s face when I asked if I could come.” It had taken Shane a few days to work up the courage to ask Yuna if it was alright, she’d seemed very excited, going on and on about how ‘It’s your first party, this is a big deal!’. It had taken him a while to convince her she didn’t need to drop him off, and that he would be okay if he stayed over Ilya’s that night.
“You’ve gotta get out more, man! We start High School in like two months, you can’t live as a hermit for the next four years.” Rose had been trying to ‘bring him out of his shell’ since they were eight. She had not been successful so far.
“He will not. I will make sure of that.”
“I’m going to ignore how threatening that sounded.” Shane knew Ilya meant no harm, but still, he sounded a bit scary sometimes, Shane wondered if it was the accent that made him all the more intense.
“You will not be loser next year, Hollander.”
“Oh, fuck off Roz!” Shane giggled, and hit Ilya’s arm.
Ilya’s house was on route to Maria’s, and only a three minute walk from Shane’s. Maria’s house was on the other side of town, but still only a twenty minute walk, one of the few joys from living in a small town, Shane thought, the ability to walk anywhere was rather handy.
They were at Ilya’s soon enough, a large house set back from the pavement quite far. Shane could remember when Ilya had moved in, they were only six, the house had been rather shabby, but Ilya’s mom had spent months renovating it, so it was quite nice now, Shane thought.
When Ilya had lost Irina he’d moved from his upstairs bedroom to the basement, that wasn’t really a basement as it was above ground and had windows, with an outside door to access that floor. The main entrance was on the first floor, along with the kitchen and main living room, so they called the bottom floor the basement anyway.
Ilya led them up the driveway and around the side of his house to the door, it wasn’t locked, Shane noted and would be scolding him later, then through the part of the basement that wasn’t really used for anything other than storage, and into Ilya’s part of the floor. They walked through the decent sized room that Ilya used as his own personal living room, and into his adjoining bedroom, that looked almost as though a bomb had gone off in it.
“I cleaned this like three days ago!” Shane interrupted whatever Rose had been talking about, “I mean, how do you even live like this?”
“Is not so bad. Can still see floor-“ Ilya pointed vaguely at an area of carpet near his window “-there.”
“Mine’s worse. My dad was threatening me this morning.” Rose retorted, Shane sighed, could no one ever take his side? Not once?
“See, I live like normal person.”
Slumping on Ilya’s desk chair after dumping his backpack by the door, Shane watched as Ilya rifled in his wardrobe for a few moments before emerging holding a black backpack carrying what looked like a heavy object.
“You’re not bringing booze, Maria’s mom’s gonna be there.” Shane looked at Rose for backup, but she was busy reapplying something to her lips and was rather preoccupied staring at herself in the mirror.
“Ugh, Hollander you are so boring.”
“One of us has to be.”
…
Ilya didn’t end up taking whatever it was he was attempting to smuggle into the unofficial graduation party, he got over his strop quite quickly, and went back to his usual obnoxious self.
Shane could hear him over the music playing, and was struggling to focus on the conversation he was having with Carter, who was raving about high school hockey.
“I mean, it’s gonna be so dope, Hollander.” It must’ve been the third time he has said something along those lines, and whilst Shane was a hockey fanatic, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk with a Grade-B player about it all night.
Much to his dismay, he did spend most of his night talking about hockey, he realised on the walk back that this had probably been for the best, he couldn’t really think of anything else he would talk about. By ten PM, he was very much ready to go, so he and Ilya set off to the latter’s house.
The sun still hadn’t set, one of the joys of summer, Shane was glad, it was still warm, and he was perfectly content in his t-shirt and jorts, he normally ran freezing, and would be wearing a hoodie and jeans under normal circumstances.
Ilya rambled aimlessly the entire walk back, Shane interjected now and then, but didn’t mind just listening. He didn’t shut up as they arrived in his neighbourhood, nor when they started up his driveway, nor when they got to the backdoor.
Unlocking the door for both himself and Shane, Ilya ushered him into the house and swiftly locked the door again, making a big show of it.
“Are the upstairs doors locked?” Shane was a worrier, he got it from his mom, he’d been told, but being around Ilya only seemed to amplify this trait, the other boy was so relaxed about everything Shane wondered what he would do without him.
“How would I know, I never use them.” Shrugging, Ilya led them back through the basement to his living room.
Shane huffed.
“I want something to eat anyway.”
“We should get takeout, my dad gave me some money.” Ilya said the word ‘dad’ rather strangely, as if the word didn’t come naturally to him. Shane supposed it didn’t, Ilya didn’t even call Grigori dad. It took Shane a moment to absorb the rest of the sentence.
“It’s so unhealthy.”
“So? Is Friday night, doesn’t count.”
“Live a little, Hollander.” They were upstairs now, flicking on the kitchen lights as Ilya checked the back door. “I think Alexei has number for chinese restaurant in his room. I’ll go up and get it.”
“Or we could cook?”
“Do you know how?”
“Do you not have any cook books?”
“No.”
Huffing, Shane relented. “Fine, go get the stupid number. I’ll check the front door.”
…
Forty minutes later, they were sat on the couch in Ilya’s living room, eating their food and feeling rather scared. “I hate you. I told you I didn’t want to watch this.”
“Cliff says it is good!” Shane didn’t doubt Cliff had told Ilya that, but he’d also said Saw was worth the watch, and Shane had hated every minute of it, so he no longer trusted his film recommendations so much anymore.
“I don’t wanna watch horror films when were alone in your big fucking house, in the basement no less.” Shane was trying to not appear too scared, but his poker face wasn’t the best.
“Isn’t real basement, is above ground.” Ilya’s mouth was full of food, Shane scowled at him.
“Shut up.” It sometimes seemed that the only thing Ilya had been put on this earth to do was annoy Shane, and he excelled at this. Shane didn’t mind, not really.
Pausing the movie, Ilya looked over at him. “I will turn it off if you get too scared. Besides, I am russian, I will not let anything bad happen.”
“How does that correlate?” Shane was used to Ilya saying ludicrous things involving his Russian-ness, but he never fully understood why it was relevant.
“I am big scary russian, and very strong. I will scare away-“ He checked the back of the DVD case “Nicole Kidman’s ghosts.”
“Fine.”
…
“Do you wanna go to bed?” Shane interrupted Ilya’s mental wandering.
“Not yet.” Ilya was very comfy.
“You’re scared, you asshole! I told you we shouldn’t have watched that film.”
Maybes Ilya was a little bit freaked out, but could anyone blame him? They were alone, in his big house, and the neighbours wouldn’t be able to hear if anything were to happen-
“I’m not scared.”
“You’re such a dick.
They sat in silence for a moment, then Shane spoke up again. He was rarely the one to start their conversations, he generally seemed more than comfortable to sit in silence.
“Are you nervous about High school?”
“Maybes a little bit. We already know most people there, won’t be much different.”
“What about the other Elementary school, there’ll be people in out grade from there.” The town was so small that there was only two elementary schools and one high school with some few hundred students. It could be worse, Shane kept reminding himself.
“There’s 10 of them. Cannot be all bad. And you already know everybody else.”
“I’m exited for hockey though.” Shane always seemed to worm hockey into conversation, he was obsessed, and it occupied nearly all of his mind nearly all of the time.
“Yes. We will be reigning champions.”
“You could go pro, I heard Mr Smith saying.”
“I wanna go to University first, I think. In case things don’t work out.”
“I don’t think you need to plan your post school plans right now.”
“I like to be organised.”
“Speaking of, I’m tidying your bedroom tomorrow.”
“Okay.” They lulled. “They come home early on Sunday, so we can’t hang out.”
“Church?”
“Da, is so silly. I don’t think they even beleive in God.”
“And it’s a Catholic church.”
“That too.”
“How come they went away for the weekend?”
“No, she wouldn’t let us stay in the house alone.”
“I think Alexei has done something… I don’t know the word, I think Dad’s trying to teach him a lesson.”
“By taking him for a weekend away?”
“I doubt either of them are having a very good time.”
“We can stay at mine, tomorrow, if you want.”
“Yes. I want.”
“Do you regret putting the others on now?”
Ilya kicked him gently, watching as Shane attempted to scowl, but couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.
“I’ll put on something to listen to so we don’t get scared.”
“I’m not the one who’s scared.”
He grinned. “If I go upstairs to get some cigarettes from Alexei’s room you will be fine down here by yourself?”
“Fuck off. You wouldn’t leave me on my own anyway.”
“I’m not scared, Shane.”
“Fine, go get your cancer sticks then.”
Ilya regretted egging Shane on as he made his way up the two flights of the stairs with all the lights on, he wasn’t even bothered about a smoke, he just wanted to piss off Shane. Smoking in front of him would do exactly that. Shane hated the smell, Ilya didn’t mind it, his father and brother smoked like fish, and his mother, she too had overindulged.
He made it back downstairs in record time, holding two cigarettes and a zippo lighter, Shane was sat on the couch, more tense than usual, though he was usually more tense than the average person would be, but he seemed to relax a bit when he saw Ilya enter the room.
“I could hear you running down the stairs, you fucking liar.” Laughing, Shane began walking into Ilya’s room, and out of his sight. But not not long, Ilya caught up and shut his bedroom door behind him.
“Are you seriously checking bathroom for ghosts?”
“No, I need to brush my teeth.”
“Be careful ghosts do not get you.”
“You fucking asshole!” Shane shouted, and closed the bathroom door. Ilya wondered if he did check behind the shower curtain for ghosts, he probably did.
Whilst Shane was busy doing whatever it was he was doing, Ilya stripped down to his boxers and pulled on a t-shirt, it was too hot in his room for pyjama bottoms, before rifling through his CDs for something to listen to as they fell asleep.
Shane emerged, his face shiny, he must’ve washed it, “Put on that one we were listening to in the car yesterday.”
“Shane, we’ve listened to Harvest Moon eight times this week. I cannot cope.” Ilya glanced up ay Shane, who was changing into his own pyjamas.
“Come on, it’s better than whatever you were gonna put on.” One thing about Shane, that Ilya had tried to fix over the years, was his lack of music taste. Sure, there was music he likes, but he rarely listened to any, and when he did it was the same four albums over and over again.
“I was gonna play the verve, you like.” He saw Shane role his eyes, and he contemplated rolling his own in response.
“Fine, whatever.”
Opening the window as wide as he could, Ilya lit his cigarette and leaned his upper half out, he could hear Shane rustling in the bed behind him.
“I don’t know how you like that stuff.”
“Is good. Reminds me of being small.”
He saw the cogs working in Shane’s head, “It’s still bad for you. You’re gonna be so out of breath when hockey picks up.”
“I’ve had one.”
“Shit, I’ve gotta call my mom.”
“Is she awake?”
“Shane, it is 12:30 on Friday. I doubt this counts as super late.
“Fuck off.” Ilya watched as Shane brought the phone up to his face, his lips as they started to move- “Hi mom, sorry, we were watching a movie so I forgot to call. Yes, we got takeout.” He seemed to be listening to something his mother was saying.
“Hi Yuna!”
Shane shot him daggers. “She says hi,” he paused. “and hoped you enjoyed the party.”
“Oh, I did!”
“Anyway, I had a good time yeah. No, I’m not staying here tomorrow night. I should be back tomorrow, I’ll text you. Okay. Love you, bye.”
“Bye!”
Shane snapped his flip phone closed, and leaned back in the bed. He looked tired, Ilya noticed. Shane wasn’t a big talker anyway, but Ilya noted the absence of conversation.
“I’m gonna miss you, when you go away.”
“Yes.”
“That’s it?”
“I have to go. Russia is home.”
“Not really, I mean, you haven’t lived there in eight years.”
“Family is there. And I don’t have to speak English.”
“Okay.”
Ilya closed his eyes, he too was tired, he was convinced it was the heat, making every minuscule act exhausting.
“Mom said you could come to the cottage with us, in August. I know you’re doing stuff, but she told me to ask.”
“Thankyou. But I have to go home.”
“Do you miss it, Russia?”
“No. I have little memory of living there. But things were easier, I think. I… I do not know words.”
“It’s okay.”
“I think I miss what it was like, then. With mama.”
“Oh.”
“It must be nice, to get to see her family.”
Ilya thought Shane had fallen asleep., he was struggling to make out his breathing over his own and the CD playing, but after a few long moments he responded; “You know it’s not true, right?”
Shutting his eyes so quickly it made him feel a bit nauseous, Ilya didn’t respond, Shane didn’t know what he was talking about, not really. Not that it was his fault, Ilya had always been private about his family, even to his closest friend. He wondered if pretending to sleep so he wouldn’t have to have a tricky conversation made him an asshole? Probably.
…
Sunlight streamed in through the closed blinds, Ilya had forgotten to close his curtains, but he lay still snoring whilst Shane was wide awake. There wasn't much point staying in bed, Ilya wouldn’t wake up will midday if he was lucky. Shane pulled himself up, did his usual morning rituals, and began the project that was cleaning Ilya’s room.
Ever since Shane had known Ilya, since the first grade, Ilya had been the messiest person in his life. It drove Shane mad, who kept everything neatly organised and would go insane if his bedroom looked the way his best friend’s currently did, he couldn’t fathom what a person had to do to allow their room to end up like Ilya’s.
It didn’t take very long, and Shane wondered why Ilya had even put off tidying his room, then again, he wasn't very good at it. Shane had initially thought this to be an excuse, but after seeing him in action, he’d realised some people really just couldn’t tidy or clean. His mom had suggested he show Ilya how to tidy, the way they both did, but every time he was going to he realised just doing it himself would be much more time efficient, and probably safer for their friendship.
…
The heat had not calmed, leading Shane and Ilya to seek out refuge in the local Tim Hortons, that was the only place they could think of with AC, that wouldn’t make them spend a tenner to sit inside of.
“You really should get your hair cut.” Shane interrupted, he was nursing a sprite but was too hot to eat anything, nevertheless something as unhealthy as a Tim Horton’s.
“The barber always ruins it.” Ilya shook his head, making Shane laugh at how ludicrously long his hair was.
“I can’t see your eyes.”
“Remember what I looked like in grade six? I will not be seen looking like that again.” Sure, Ilya’s concern was perfectly valid. Prior to and in sixth grade, Ilya had worn his hair straight and looked like a member of my chemical romance, but blonde. Shane couldn’t help but snigger.
“It will grow out, plus you actually style it now.” Ilya took a sip of his coke, waiting for Shane to continue. “And it will keep you cool.”
“Yes. Is too hot.”
“News said the heatwave won’t end till Wednesday.”
“Is joke? I will die of heat exhaustion by Monday.”
“Something to do with global warming, I think.”
Ilya glared at him. “Stop being party pooper. We should enjoy heat for once.”
“And do what?”
Ilya chewed his donut. “Sunbathe?”
“Fuck off. Finish your donut and we’ll go get your hair cut.”
Ilya couldn't resist Shane, he was too logical, Shane liked to think, so he sat reading a magazine whilst Ilya instructed Mr Davidson, very sternly, not to mess up his hair. Once he thought the threats were sufficient, he finally let his hair get cut.
Shane could see Ilya stealing glances at him in the mirror, he pretended not to notice.
…
Ilya slept at Shane’s that night, but left before either of his parents even woke up, saying he wanted to be in the house when his brother and father got back.
“Ilya gone?” His mom asked, she’d just handed him a bowl of cereal.
“Oh.” He took the cereal and checked it was his healthy, sugar free one. “Yeah, wanted a shower before church.”
“He alright? I didn’t get to see him yesterday.” His mom leaned on the dining table, which Shane was sitting at.
“Yeah. I think so. Why?” Shane often worried he missed things, socially, with Ilya he seemed to pick them up more, but the fear still gnawed at his chest every time someone brought up something he may have missed.
“Nothing to worry about, just noticed his dad’s car wasn’t on the drive last night.”
“Well, make sure he knows he’s welcome here anytime.”
“He does.” Shane wanted to laugh, Ilya was constantly coming in uninvited without much care for what Shane was doing, sometimes he’d hang out at Shane’s when Shane wasn’t even there.
“How was your party?”
“Not really my thing.”
“Any girls catch your eye?”
Shane felt himself tense up, and his cheeks reddened, why did his mom have to ask these things?
“No.”
“If I wanted to tell you anything, I would.”
“You’d never tell me anything if I didn’t pry it out of you.”
“Maybes you should take the hint then.”
Being too embarrassed to face his mom again, Shane spent the rest of the day cooped up in his room doing homework, he was too hot, and just didn’t have the energy to speak to his parents.
A knock on the door interrupted his internal conversation, and then his dad shouting his name from downstairs made him lose focus entirely.
“What?”
“Ilya’s here!”
“Coming.”
Shane stomped down the stairs and to where Ilya stood, looking rather glum, in the doorway.
“Walk with me.”
“Let me grab my shoes.”
…
“What’s up?” Shane had been wondering in the minute or so since Ilya had asked him to take a walk why he had done so, presumably he had something to get off his chest he couldn’t in the house, Shane waited for his response.
“Alexei’s girlfriend is pregnant. He’s marrying her.”
“Shit, does he even have a job?”
“No, papa has made him apply to a few places.”
“I can’t imagine him as a dad.”
“We go to Russia next week, papa wants him to marry her at home, doesn’t to wait.”
“Oh. And you're staying all summer?”
“Back last week in August.”
Shane didn’t really know what to say. “We can email?”
“Yes.”
Ilya did not email, well, not after the second week at least. Shane continued to send them every few days, he hoped the other boy was alright, and that he was just so busy he didn’t have the time to respond. His mom noticed, and said that it was probably difficult, being back at home, and with a last minute wedding he probably had a lot on his hands, Shane wasn’t convinced.
He knew something must be wrong, he must’ve done something, so he spent all of his summer anticipating Ilya’s return, and blowing off his other friends far more often than necessary.
Finally, on August 26th, Shane received a response, they started high school in a week and a half, and Ilya had been gone nearly eight weeks. Whilst the message was short, it washed away all of the concerns that Shane had been harbouring all summer, and he knew whatever had transpired between them, or hadn’t transpired, wasn't his fault as he had worries. He would see Ilya soon, and everything would be alright between them again.
‘We fly home tomorrow. Should be back on Sunday. I will see you then.’