Chapter Text
And she stood there in the corner of his eyes. John couldn't bear looking at her. H̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶f̶l̶e̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶e̶y̶e̶s̶.̶ ̶A̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶.̶
"Pretty convenient timing... Seraphina." She didn't say anything... So, she has returned her powers. She's been hiding them from me to attack from behind! How could she?!
"When the hell did you get your ability back? How long have you been hiding them?" He clenched his fists.
"...excuse me?" is all that escaped her mouth. As if you don't understand!
"Don't act all innocent!" he finally stared at her. She had the same look Claire had... This made him even more mad, "The authorities helped you get them back, didn't they?! And you hid them so that you could come after me when I least expected it! Didn't you?" He was sure of it. Because if he was wrong...
"... Is that really the first thing that comes to mind?" She looked disappointed and angry. J̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶C̶l̶a̶i̶r̶e̶. She continued, "No. You have no idea what I've risked-"
"I don't wanna hear it!" John shouted, "Just get out of the way so I can finish those two off!"
"No."
"What did you say?" I fucking knew it... They're all in for this! The moment she got the chance... She came straight for me! She's just like her! Nothing has changed!
When he came back to his senses he noticed those two are running away.
"HEY!" he created spikes from Arlo's barrier and filled them with Remi's lightnings "WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!"
In a second they were broken by Seraphina. Anger filled his eyes.
"YOU REALLY WANNA FIGHT ME THAT BADLY?!!" he directed Cecile's vines at her, "THEN YOU CAN GO TO HELL TOO!"
Seraphina appeared before him in an instant and cracked his shield.
"UGH!" John coughed out blood. Seraphina's arms were covered in blood too but she quickly rewinded them.
"...All I wanted was to talk!" her voice reached him. Talk?! Who does she think she is?!
"EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON ME! JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" You should've known this would happen again, John...Y̶o̶u̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶. Lightning cracked in his hands, "BACK OFF! I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU!"
"JOHN, OPEN YOUR EYES! I'M STILL HERE!" Seraphina shouted. No! I don't believe you! Vines shoot at her, but she was quicker. She already was behind him, burying her fist in his barrier, causing it to crack yet again, "BUT YOU WON'T LISTEN! YOU WON'T ACCEPT HELP!" her voice echoed. Stop! STOP!
"YOU WON'T LET ANYONE TROUGH!" she clenched her fist even tighter, "YOU PUT UP SO MANY WALLS YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE STRAIGHT ANYMORE!" SHUT UP! The barrier is cracking more and more, "Tell me, what choice do I have?! The only thing I can do is break through to you with force!"
She's lying! She's just using you!
SHUT UP!
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" John roared, anger clouded his eyes,"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU EVER GAVE A SHIT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TEAMED UP WITH THOSE NO-GOOD ASSHOLES AND ATTACKED ME!"
Seraphina squinted her eyes, "John, since we've met... You've been consistently driving yourself into a corner!" She rewinded her wounds once again, "And now that you finally have nowhere left to go... You're lashing out at everyone else!" She took a deep breath and shouted, "NOBODY WANTS TO FIGHT WITH YOU ANYMORE! YOU'RE THE ONE FIGHTING WITH YOURSELF!"
F̶i̶g̶h̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶m̶y̶s̶e̶l̶f̶.̶.̶.̶ No! What the hell do you know?!
Lava boiled under his skin, more and more she talked, he screamed out of his lungs, "SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" John summoned more spikes and threw them at Seraphina but it was useless, she appeared before his barrier and kicked it with her leg shouting, "HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA KEEP DENYING YOURSELF?! I KNOW YOU CAN SEE IT! THAT THE THINGS AROUND US AREN'T THE SAME THEY WERE BEFORE!"
S̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.... No! She's lying! She doesn't know what she even talks about!
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO ON LIKE THIS!"
John was coughing more and more blood.
...But... Aren't the same as before...
_______
..Blyke
"You're avoiding the safe house on purpose. Because you can't accept that the "high-rankers" you hated so much... Have actually made some progress!"
...
Arlo
"Don't worry. I'm not interested in your position. I've moved on."
....
Remi
"Things are changing! But you're the one holding us all back!"
_______
Why?
Why the hell are they all allowed to move on?!
Why am I the only one stuck like this?!
No!
"John..." he heard her voice. He couldn't bear to listen to it.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" B̶u̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶r̶i̶g̶h̶t̶... "I DON'T FUCKING CARE!! I DON'T CARE IF THINGS ARE DIFFERENT!! THEY DON'T DESERVE IT!" I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶e̶s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶ "THEY DON'T DESERVE BETTER!!" I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶e̶s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r
"Why, John? Why not?"
"BECAUSE IT'S TOO LATE ALREADY! THEY FUCKED UP!" His throat was sore but he couldn't stop, "THEY'VE PROVED THAT THEY'RE ALL MONSTERS!" ̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶
"NOTHING THEY DO WILL EVER BE ENOUGH! THEY'LL NEVER MAKE UP FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE!" He closed his eyes, not letting the tears come out.
"...John... Is that how you feel about yourself?"
Y̶e̶s̶... No!
"Do you think it's too late for you? Do you think there's nothing you can do to make up for what you'v-"
"NO!" NO! NO! NO! She's wrong! Just-
"SHUT UP!" John launched vines at her. She escaped. He whispered, "Get away..."
f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶m̶e̶...
I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶e̶s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶... I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶e̶s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r...
No! It's not my fault! THEY are monsters!
"I don't wanna hear it!" He threw the vines with even greater force at the place where she had been a second ago.
"John, please, take your barrier down. Let's stop this."
I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶l̶a̶t̶e̶!̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶l̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ ̶f̶u̶c̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶u̶p̶!̶
SHUT UP!
SHUT UP!
SHUT-!
"NO! SHUT UP!"
I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶.̶
N̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶e̶.̶
N̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶e̶n̶o̶u̶g̶h̶.̶
He couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't listen to it anymore. John covered his ears with his hands, hoping to stop hearing, "I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT ANYMORE!" The image blurred before his eyes. Everything around him went dark. Serafina's image disappeared from view.
I don't deserve better.
It's too late.
I'm a monster.
The scene of his dark past played before his eyes. He saw his younger self kicking, punching everything and everyone til there's nothing left. His childhood friends were no exception. Fury blinded him. He rushed at his younger self. And then he's done what he knew best. He punched and punched, screaming, "YOU FUCKING BRAT!" He punched again "GO TO HELL!" And again.
But it wasn't himself. It was Adrion.
No!
"Ah!"
Why?! No matter what I do... I always end up hurting someone else.
He saw that brat again with a grin on his face. He wanted to erase that smirk once and for all.
"You fucking prick!" John launched at him with phase shift, but soon realised he couldn't even touch the kid. He threw everything at him - vines, lightning, barrier spikes, his fists - but to no avail. John was hardly panting, his eyes focused on his younger self.
WHY?! I tried so hard to get rid of you! Why do you keep coming back?!
"Just disappear already! YOU MONSTER!" his vines weren't doing anything, but he didn't stop. John couldn't think straight anymore. His mind was hazy, he felt a very powerful aura activating somewhere nearby — familiar, overwhelming. Time itself seemed to shudder.
Then he felt his barrier crack and coughed even more blood. A girl's voice reached him like an echo, but he couldn't recognise it, "DON'T LET THE PAST CONTROL YOUR LIFE! YOU'RE NOT THE SAME PERSON ANYMORE!"
Not the same person...?
His knees failed him and he fell, coughing blood yet again. He opened his one eye to see a crack on his younger self's face.
That's a lie. I haven't changed. Nothing's different... I'm still unable to control myself... And I'm still hurt a lot of people.
Claire's injured body appeared before him
"TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE BECOME!"
Tears fell down out of his eyes.
"You're a tyrant and a hypocrite! You're always looking for reasons to hurt others!"
John just wanted to shut this voice up. He covered his ears with his hands again in the hope of drowning it out. However the voice got even louder.
"And you don't care about anyone but yourself! I should've never helped you!"
He gritted his teeth and reached for the powerful ability he felt earlier.
"I wish I never met you!"
I wish you just shut up. I wish I just-
"MONSTER!"
John used all of his leftover powers to enhance the ability he copied. The air around him fractured like glass. The ground warped. Space itself twisted under the pressure of the amplified ability.
disappeared from this world!
He heard a rip.
And then darkness enveloped him.