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Luca wasn’t going to throw a tantrum. He wasn’t. Even though everything in him was telling him too, that sitting on the floor in the middle of the locker room and just flat out wailing would surely get him out of this, he didn’t. Because it wasn’t a little day, because being scared of the doctor was silly, because he didn’t think acting like a brat and refusing to go to his appointment would actually get him the cuddles and assurances that of course he didn’t have to go to the scary place where they poke him with needles that he wanted. It would probably get him cuddles at least, but Shane would still make him go to the doctor.
Which was another reason Luca wasn’t going to throw a tantrum. Shane was already wasting his afternoon off taking Luca to his appointment. He was already going out of his way for Luca, he didn’t need Luca to make it an even more arduous task just because he’d never gotten past being scared of needles. Honestly, Luca hadn’t thought that admitting that going to the doctors stressed him out would lead him here. He had mostly just been complaining at the team barbecue with Nicky, their latest work-up coming up and setting them both a bit on edge.
Nicky hated work-ups because they were boring, a waste of his day as far as he was concerned which had gotten him a sharp warning from Roz that if he ever actually skipped it like he had been joking about, he’d be in a world of trouble. It hadn’t even been Luca getting the warning and it had made him squirm, though everyone else had simply laughed at the way Nicky’s face had gone red.
Luca just hated the needles. He knew it was important, that they needed to get the work-ups to make sure that everything was going smoothly, that they could still play and weren’t at risk of drop-sickness. It wasn’t any different to a regular yearly check-up. He just wished they didn’t have to take his blood for it. He could do every other part! He could answer all the questions and complete all the physical exams. Then they’d pull out the needle for the blood sample and every time without fail Luca would crash headfirst into a drop. Or he’d just pass out, which had happened more than once. He always felt a little bad that every time it happened and he was reminded that he could never give blood.
It wasn’t like it even hurt that much. Not more than getting checked into the boards did. It was just the whole process that freaked him out. The tourniquet making his palms tingly, the way he could sometimes feel the needle sitting underneath his skin, being able to see his blood leaving his body through the little plastic tube. It was gross. It made Luca feel sick. It made paying attention to all the important stuff the doctor would tell him before it hard, because he’d be so focused on what was coming. That was why Shane had offered to take him.
“Ilya has his own appointment, but I can go with you if you want instead.” He’d said with a shrug. “I can keep track of what the doctor says in case you miss anything.”
And Luca had agreed, because it hadn’t been the day-of the appointment so the itchy feeling of fear that made him want to cry hadn’t settled in, so it had seemed very reasonable. Shane would come with him to the appointment, Luca would get his blood taken and everything would be fine. Now though, Luca was considering the merits of hiding in one of the supply closets so that he didn’t have to go to the doctors. Which was silly, but very tempting.
“Oh zaychik, you look like you are off to war.” Roz said, appearing beside Luca and startling him out of his internal debate on if hiding was worth the potential trouble he’d get into for trying to skip his appointment. “Doctors will be fine yes? Shane will be there, he will hold your hand.”
“I’m fine, I don’t need him to hold my hand.” Luca said, offering a thin smile of reassurance. The raised eyebrow he got in return told him all he needed to know about how effective it was. “I’m just being stupid, that’s all. It’s a dumb fear anyway.”
Luca squeaked a bit when that was met with a pinch to his earlobe. Not a very hard one, but firm enough the warning of it was clear. “No insulting my rookie.” Ilya said sternly, making Luca blush.
“Sorry.” He mumbled, glad that the others had all cleared out already. It was bad enough that he was freaking out about a doctors appointment, he didn’t want to know the kind of teasing he’d get if they saw any of that. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just kind of silly, y’know? It doesn’t hurt.”
“It’s not that silly.” Shane said, also appearing. Or maybe he had been there a while and Luca had been too zoned out to notice. Last he had seen him he was in the shower though. Now he was dressed, scrubbing a towel through his damp hair. “A lot of people are scared of needles. Besides, Ilya’s afraid of birds.”
“Is not every bird!” Ilya immediately argued, indignant. “Is just Boris.”
“Boris?” Luca asked, brow scrunched in equal parts confusion and curiosity.
“A loon that lives near the cottage.” Shane explained. “It hates Ilya, he won’t go outside if Boris is there.”
“He is vicious, evil bird.” Ilya said with a sigh, looking off into the middle-distance dramatically. Shane snorted, leaning down to capture Ilya’s mouth in his.
“You’re a baby.” He said, voice full of nothing but affection. “And you’re going to be late for your meeting.”
“I am reassuring the baby!” Ilya argued, making Luca’s ears spike red as he wrapped an arm around him and squished his cheeks for emphasis.
“The baby has his own appointment to get too.” Shane replied. Luca swallowed, blinking away the fuzziness that this whole conversation had wrapped around his brain. If he dropped before they even got there, he knew he’d be a handful. He didn’t want to make Shane deal with that.
“I see how it is.” Ilya huffed playfully, letting go of Luca though not before smacking a noisy kiss to his forehead before doing to same to Shane’s lips. They walked together to the parking garage, Luca’s bag somehow ending up in Roz’s hand while Hollzy carried both of theirs. On autopilot, Luca moved to sit in the backseat, realising once he had already settled in that for once there was actually space up front for him. Neither Roz or Hollzy commented on it though, Shane circling to the back of the car to put away every bodies bags while Ilya stood by Luca’s door. “You will be good for Shane?”
Luca nodded, despite his own internal doubts. He didn’t want to be bad or anything. He was just scared. Moreso now that his appointment was imminent and he had dashed his own chances of escape. As if sensing that Luca was teetering, Ilya reached out to pat his cheek gently.
“moy malyshka.” He said gently, grinning a bit at Luca. “Is okay to be scared, yes? That is why Shane is with you.”
“I know.” Luca said, voice small. He felt a bit bad that he sort of wished it were Ilya coming to his appointment with him instead. It wasn’t that he liked Ilya better or anything, he had just known him for longer.
“You will go to appointment, be good brave boy, then you will come home and we will eat ice cream.” Ilya promised. “And if you get scared, Shane will be there for cuddles.”
“Okay.” Luca nodded. That did sound nice. He just needed to actually get through the appointment first. He could do that. He could be brave. Probably.
“He will be small before you get there.” Ilya predicted, after he had gotten Luca situated in the backseat of the car and met Shane by the door to the drivers seat for their goodbyes. “He is already halfway down.”
“I figured.” Shane said. Luca had been teetering precariously on the edge of a drop all morning, anxiety radiating off of him in waves. He at least seemed to know it, keeping himself well in check while they were on the ice. The closer they got to his appointment, the more he unraveled at the seams though.
“Is good thing you are taking him.” Ilya said decisively. “He will start crying and I will say forget appointment, time for ice cream and movies instead. Is very good you are here to be boring parent instead.”
“That’s because you’re a push-over.” Shane replied primly. They both knew it wasn’t true. Ilya wouldn’t let Luca play fast and loose with his health anymore than he would Shane, or any of the other centaurs. It would break his heart a little though, having to force Luca to get a needle through his tears. He couldn’t even handle seeing Anya whining about getting her nails clipped.
“You will take care of him?” Ilya asked, glancing back to where Luca was hidden away in the backseat, his leg jigging anxiously and fingers planted firmly in his mouth being chewed on, which Shane decided was a habit he would be curbing.
“He will be fine.” Shane assured. “It’s one doctors appointment, I’ve got him. Go to your meeting, we’ll see you back at home.”
Ilya was reluctant to actually do so of course, lingering to kiss at Shane’s jaw and cheek and mouth before Shane bit the bullet and chased him off. Then it was just Shane, climbing into the drivers seat and glancing in the rearview mirror at Luca. Ilya was wrong, Shane decided as he took the boy in. Luca would be down before they’d even pulled out of the parking garage.
It wasn’t a long drive to the clinic. Only a total of twenty minutes factoring in afternoon traffic. It was enough time to pull Luca fully under and work him up though. He was already sniffling by the time Shane had found a park, though he was making a valiant effort not too.
“It’ll be quick buddy, I promise.” Shane assured him as he stopped the car, getting out himself before he moved to open Luca’s door for him. “Do you want to walk in yourself or do you want me to carry you?”
It was a trick he’d learnt after many years of watching the Pike children. And one he remembered his mom doing for him when he was young. It always made him feel better, having choices, even if they were only small ones like which jacket he was wearing that day. Luca seemed to think about it for a moment, his lip wobbling before he took a big, steadying breath.
“M’gonna walk.” He declared. “I’m brave.”
It was a bit wet, the tears clearly still barely being held at bay, but he said it with so much determination Shane couldn’t help but grin. It was sweet, not dissimilar to the way Luca would wave people off when he went down on the ice and picked himself back up again.
“You’re so brave.” Shane agreed. “How about you hold my hand though? So neither of us get lost.”
Luca nodded seriously as Shane helped him out of the car, taking hold of his hand. It was a good thing too, because the kid was quickly distracted from the fact they were trying to avoid oncoming traffic by the sight of a store sitting two doors down from the clinic with a bunch of toys displayed in the window. He didn’t make a run for it or anything thank god, because Shane did not feel like adding tears from a spanking on top of tears from a needle, but he did drift as close to it as their linked hands would allow, eyes alight with curiosity.
“We can have a look after your appointment.” Shane told him. It would be a nice treat maybe, something to make the day a little bit better. It was obvious to anyone that looked at him that Luca was on his best behaviour. Hell, if Shane were in his position, he probably would have thrown the fit to end all fits by now.
“Really?” Luca asked, voice bright as he turned his round, hopeful eyes onto Shane. For the first time since practice ended, he didn’t even sound close to tears.
“Really.” Shane said. It would be good for Shane too anyway. He wanted to pick some things up for Luca to have at the house.
The reception area for clinic was calm, when he and Luca entered. Shane had made the appointment for him, had picked the specialist they were seeing after going on a research binge for the best littlespace specialists in Ottawa after Luca had admitted he didn’t have one in the area. There was a small selection of toys in a neatly organised play area, a cosy looking rug covering the linoleum floors so that it was comfortable to play on that matched well with the sage green sofas that were available in the waiting area. It smelt of jasmine and cedarwood, a little oil diffuser sitting on the receptionists desk.
“Hi, we’re here to see Dr Zhuan.” Shane said, smiling politely at the receptionist. “It’s an appointment for Haas.”
Beside him, Luca tucked himself into Shane’s side, peering shyly around the quiet waiting room. The receptionist, whose name tag read ‘Bella’, smiled at Shane. “Of course. Here’s some forms to fill out while you’re waiting. Dr Zhuan will be ready for you in a moment.”
Shane occupied himself filling out the forms with Luca pressed into his side, the little boy seemingly uninterested in the toys scattered around the room. Shane didn’t push him, just letting him hide away in Shane’s shoulder. The only time he broke the silence was when Luca started chewing on his fingers again, gently tugging his hand from his mouth.
“No fingers Luca.” He scolded gently. “It’s yucky, you’ve got germs on your hands.”
It made Luca whine softly, his bottom lip sticking out in a pout, but Shane was quick to chase it away by scratching a hand through his curls. It settled him back down, cheek mushed into Shane’s shoulder as he sniffled, like he wasn’t sure whether to be upset or content. When Dr Zhuan appeared though, Luca seemed to settle on upset.
“Up?” he whispered to Shane, giving him a pleading look as the doctor approached as though it would somehow protect him from the approaching proceedings. Shane complied easily, letting Luca settle in his lap. It wouldn’t stop the appointment from happening, but it would comfort Luca a little.
“Hello.” Dr Zhuan greeted, giving Shane and Luca a sweet smile. She was a shorter woman, with bobbed black hair. She gave Shane a look of sympathy when Luca quickly hid his face from her. “You must be Luca. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Hello.” Luca echoed politely, without emerging from his hiding spot.
“If you’ll both follow me, we’ll get too it.” Dr Zhuan said, leading them from the waiting room to one of the exam rooms. Inside, there was a nurse in lavender scrubs. At Dr Zhuans instruction, Shane sat down on the exam bed with Luca still held in his lap. “It can help to have a caregiver close by when littles are a bit anxious about an appointment.”
The first half of the appointment went fine, even with Luca’s shyness. He did his best to answer Dr Zhuans questions, even eventually emerging from his hiding spot to give her a toothy little smile. He sat still while she checked his reflexes and breathing, happily told her all about how he was a hockey player.
“This is my Shane.” Luca informed Dr Zhuan when she asked him who looked after him when he was dropped. “He’s married to my ‘lya. We had to stand when they got married ‘cause there was no chairs. He plays hockey too, he’s really really good.”
“That must be fun.” Dr Zhuan said cheerfully, typing away at her computer. “Now just one last thing before I let you and your Shane go. We just have to do some bloodwork to finish the exam. Is that okay?”
Luca’s happy little smile fell in an instant, replaced instead with a watery look of horror and betrayal at his new friend. He nodded anyway though, giving Dr Zhuan a sad little. “Okay.”
“I’ll be right here the whole time.” Shane promised, rubbing Luca’s back comfortingly. Luca nodded, breath hitching and eyes a bit shiny. The nurse moved him gently, pulling his arm out to apply the tourniquet. The first tears started falling as soon as it was fastened. Shane was quick to react, tucking Luca’s face away so that he couldn’t see the needle as it was being prepped, shushing him gently while he tried to keep the little boy as still as possible. Shane murmured mindless praise, reminding him how good he was being, how brave he was, that Shane was so proud of him and Ilya would be too when they got home and told him all about what a brave boy he had been. Once it pierced the skin though, none of that mattered, because Luca started wailing.
It was heavy tears, thick and fat as they rolled down his cheeks and pooled at his chin. He cried like he had been stabbed rather than pricked with a needle, babbling at Shane that he was all done now and wanted to go home. He stayed remarkably still through his sobbing, letting the nurse get the blood she needed, but that didn’t make it less heartbreaking as Luca shuddered into Shane’s chest. It was over quickly, a cotton ball pressed to the pinprick wound and taped there with a little teddy bear bandage, but it took a bit longer for the tears to slow. Shane sat there, rocking and shushing and reassuring for about five minutes as Luca tired himself into hiccuping sobs instead of the full-bodied ones that had been wracking through him.
“Done now?” He begged when he gathered himself, looking at Shane with a tear-streaked and snotty face. Shane gratefully accepted the tissues he was promptly handed by Dr Zhuan to clean him up.
“All done now.” Shane promised as he cleaned the baby up. “You did so good buddy. You were so brave.”
Luca nodded sadly. “M’brave.”
“So brave.” Shane agreed, rocking Luca gently for a moment longer.
Just like Shane promised, they went into the fun shop once they left the clinic. Luca decided he was done being brave though, so he didn’t walk by himself anymore, much more content to let Shane carry him on his hip as they scanned the aisles. He was sleepy and his arm was itchy where the needle had been, and his head sort of hurt from crying. The shop was nice though. The music was quiet and there was lots of fun things to look at. Shane had put him in the shopping cart, once they started walking around, so he didn’t have to carry Luca and their shopping. It had made Luca sort of sad, but Shane promised they would have a cuddle at home when Luca had a nap.
There were all sorts of toys alongside a lot of other boring stuff, which is what Shane seemed to be more interested in, gazing at the big wall of baby things while Luca kept his attention on the display of stuffed bunnies that was near the front of the store. They looked really soft. They came in all sorts of colours, with big floppy ears. There was pink and white and blue and yellow and brown. One of them was a tan colour, with blue flowery fabric lining its ears and feet. It had a little pink nose and was smiling at Luca. Luca was pretty sure it was because she wanted to be his friend. Luca wondered if he could get her. Maybe as a present, for being so brave. Ilya said he could have ice cream, but Luca kind of wanted the bunny more. Maybe he could ask Shane if he could have the bunny instead of the ice cream.
“What are you looking at buddy?” Shane asked, drawing Luca’s attention to him. He had thrown all sorts of things into the cart when Luca wasn’t looking. Teethers and plates and bibs. Luca wondered who they were all for.
“Bunny.” Luca explained, pointing to the display. His bunny was still smiling at him. Shane smiled softly at Luca.
“You like the bunnies?” He asked. Luca nodded. He wanted to suck on his fingers, but Shane had said that was yucky, so he settled for the sleeve of his hoodie instead. Shane nodded seriously, steering them over to the display. “Which one do you like best?”
“That one.” Luca said, pointing to his bunny. It was nice of Shane to ask. Then, Shane was plucking Luca’s bunny up off the shelf and handing her to Luca! Luca had been right, she was really soft. He pet her ear gently, rubbing his finger over the downy feeling of the fur.
“Do you want to get it?” Shane asked, peering down at Luca.
“Please!” Luca gasped, cuddling his bunny to his chest. It made Shane laugh a bit, a quiet huffing sound. He never laughed lots like Ilya did, but Luca thought that was okay. It just meant Shane was quiet. Luca was quiet too, everybody said so. Sometimes it was nice having another quiet person to sit with in the locker room. Nicky and Oskar and Theo were all really loud sometimes and it could be scary.
Luca was very excited to get his new bunny. Especially because Shane hadn’t even said anything about not having ice cream. The lady who was working at the desk had smiled sweetly when it was time for them to check out, letting Luca hold onto his bunny while she scanned the price tag.
“This is a really good pick.” She told Luca with a wink. “I’ve always loved the blossom bunnies.”
Luca nodded, drawing his bunny back to his chest when she had been scanned. Blossom was a good name. It suited his bunny very well. “Thank you.”
“Good manners.” Shane praised, petting Luca’s hair. Luca grinned at him, his smile quickly being split open by a yawn that he tried to muffle with his bunnies fur. “I think it’s time to go home now.”
“Home now.” Luca echoed with a nod. He wanted to have a nap and a cuddle with his new bunny, like Shane promised. Maybe Ilya would be home too and they could all have a cuddle in the big bed. That would be nice. He didn’t really mean to fall asleep in the car, but it was hard to stay awake. He had cried lots and it was a long time past nap time. He was pleasantly surprised when he did wake up in the big bed, Blossom squished to his chest and Shane laying beside him asleep with his glasses on and a book open on his chest. Even Ilya was there! Though he wasn’t in the bed with them. He was standing in the doorway, watching them with a soft look on his face. It looked gooey.
Luca reached out for him with a little noise, trying to tell him that he should come lay down too, but it came out sort of muffled because there was something in his mouth. It took Luca a second to realise that it was one of the soothers Shane had bought at the shop, prodding at the plastic shield curiously. It tasted better than his fingers and it didn’t hurt to bite it. It made Ilya chuckle.
“Good morning malyshka.” He said, voice barely above a whisper as he entered the room quietly, settling on the bed beside Luca. He ran a finger over Blossoms silky fur where her head was sticking out from Luca’s elbow. “You have new friend.”
“I was really brave.” Luca informed Ilya. “I cried lots, but I was still really brave.”
“That is very good zaychik.” Ilya said, pressing a kiss to Luca’s forehead. “You have worn Shane out, being such a good boy.”
Luca nodded. “You gotta nap with us, cause I was brave.” He moved to show Ilya his arm, where the teddy bear bandage was taped over the crook of his elbow. “Look!”
“I see.” Ilya nodded gravely, before he pressed another kiss over Luca’s bandage. “Well I cannot argue with that, can I?”
Luca shook his head, preening happily when Ilya clambered into the bed beside him and gently lifted him to scoot him closer so that Luca’s ear was pressed over his chest. Ilya’s finger traced light patterns across Luca’s cheek and down the bridge of his nose, making Luca blink tiredly. He sighed happily, settling back down for sleep with his new bunny and his new soother and his Shane and his Ilya. Maybe the doctors wasn’t so bad.
He still didn’t like needles though.