Chapter Text
"Go fuck yourself," Gold God said. He couldn't stand up, since he was stuck. In a cage.
Also, the guy in front of him, Beetle, had actually just...fucking killed him. Full-on dead, wasn't that crazy?
And because his life was always getting worse, he couldn't feel any of his limbs. He was also higher off the ground than he would usually remember, but he was steadfastly ignoring that in favor of glaring at the pest in front of him.
"Someone angry they're a tiny bit paralyzed?" Beetle asked sweetly, and with a middle finger in Gold God's direction, went to grab something that was very menacingly green. Honestly, kind of like himself. It also glowed. Like glowstick fluid. Or maybe gatorade!
He drank it from the beaker like it was a shot, which is not proper lab etiquette. Don't follow his example kids. It's not a good idea.
He sighed with contentment, wiping his mouth with his hand, leaving a noticeable green stain around his mouth. A bit like crystal violet except green. Crystal green ahahaha.
Gold God slammed against the bars, wanting to claw himself out of his own skin and the cage so he could throw the guy across the world.
"Where are my friends??" He questioned angrily. Beetle waved a hand, much calmer than he was before.
"They're fine," he said, "Well, hopefully not. Hopefully they died. But when I saw them they were fine."
Gold God could remember them fighting. He'd seen Beetle approaching with a weapon he didn't remember seeing, and thought something isn't right. And then Beetle had killed Moonboy, had caught Nines with a fishing rod lure and sent her hurtling to her doom, and Gold God couldn't even afford to think that he was right before he tackled Beetle and the two of them had fallen down, down, down.
That fall should have killed Beetle. It HAD killed Gold God. How was he still alive?
Not important.
Well, it probably was. But Gold God didn't really CARE was the issue.
"...how did you revive me?" He questioned.
Beetle put a finger to his chin, deep in thought. Or maybe just mocking Gold God, he honestly couldn't tell.
"It wasn't hard, you know," he eventually said, "Gold's, like, SUPER transmutable. Plus all that Totem heritage...oh boy." He did a little twirl, like the asshole he was. "So exciting!~"
Gold God gagged.
"You might be wondering how exactly though, right?" Beetle said, wrongly, "And how I survived that perilous fall down the mountain..." he did the jazz hands, "I'm a wizard!!"
Gold God opened his mouth, probably to yell at him that he didn't care, but Beetle barreled on, "Everything I designed, everything you become, is because of my AWESOME inventions! And I survived with these!" Something along his back opened up, revealing translucent beetle's wings.
Beetle wings for Beetle. How so very creative of him wowww omg.
"It's all thanks to Mr Boss that I can do this," Beetle continued conversationally, "I honestly couldn't be more happy!"
He brushed off his hands, cracked his knuckles one by one, which was absolutely disgusting, "Anyways I'm going to sell you to PATCH. Have fun! He can be a bit freaky lol."
"...Excuse me?"
"Yeah :-]"
"Don't add a nose to your emoticons -" Gold God banged his head against the cell wall as best he could, "What if I don't want to be sold???"
"Well, that's too bad, now isn't it," Beetle stuck a tongue out at him, "I need to trade with him so I can get Paper, and you're just his taste, so-"
"Is 'Paper' also a person?" Gold God questioned.
"Nnno, no, it's for my notebooks," Beetle said. No adjective.
"Oh, I thought since it was capitalized - "
"Nonsense," Beetle dismissed, "What kind of person would name their kid Paper? ...Anyways PATCH thinks he can just do anything, just because his World Domain happens to include everything under the fucking sun - do you think sugarcane would fucking grow in the fucking mountains?- and he wonders why I beat him up so much..."
A throbber icon floated over Gold God's head. Search it up. It's an actual thing. "Wait. PATCH? The guy in the maze??"
"Oh right, you did meet him." Beetle tapped his chin in thought, "Well, second time's the charm, or so they say. They say it everywhere. It's a very common saying - "
"Do you ever stop talking?" Gold God interrupted.
Beetle stared at him. Gold God felt a shiver travel through his nerves at how utterly dead they were, like the eyes on a desiccated fly's corpse. "...No?"
This asshole.