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The beakers are babbling over the bunsen burner.
A little too vicious for your liking, O assistant to the mysterious Dr. Kim.
Winner of the country's prestigious science awards and renowned worldwide for his scientific breakthroughs. His unconventional takes on -
A drop of boiled water spills onto your hand. Your train of thought crashes and you bring your finger to your mouth.
Stop.
You barely stop yourself from being a petridish to some new organism brewed by Kim Seungmin the Greatest scientist of the century.
You find a tap and a clean, streamlined stream of water gently touches your hand when in reality you want a waterfall to crash and soothe your finger.
"I got it! The formula of Love!"
There's a flourish of lab coats and a cascade of flying papers.
Dishevelled hair and eye bags like tea bags stare back at you.
It's Dr. Bang Chan, the eccentric intern.
You startle and knock off a rogue test tube.
And the rizz master that he is, he swoops in and pinches it milliseconds before it shatters on the ground. He then gallantly present it to you, bowing down deeply.
You gingerly take it and a hand seizes yours and scrutinises it.
"A superficial burn," he mumbles as he fiddles around his lab coat and presents a vial of brown liquid. He twists the cap off between his thumb and index finger and drops a drop onto the burn area.
A heartbeat.
The redness dissipates.
The pain is gone.
You stare with conflicted feelings. Where did consent go? And lovely cure by the way but what are the side effects-
A single digital hair grows in alarming velocity in front of both of you. He chuckles unsteadily and produces a tweezer.
And yanks it off.
You yell.
A pile of clothes on the floor move unsteadily and Bang Chan harmonises with your renewed effort in production of sound waves.
A bleary face emerges and it's Han Jisung.
He reaches out for his phone - non existent - and tries tapping with a finger, thinking that a very potent alarm is trying to wake him up.
He sniffs. Very vigorously. And then straightens up like a rod.
The smell of fried food wafts into the laboratory and Seo Changbin is here.
All three of you, united by the tingling of your own tastebuds, run over to the MSG laden promises of dopamine. You sit and grab paper and plastic wrapped chicken and tear into them to unveil your prize.
Changbin watches in awe as Han packs two drumsticks into his cheeks.
"How's the preparation for hibernation?" he jokes pinching Han's cheeks.
"Better than the preparations of your funeral, Seo Changbin," a voice cold as an avalanche buries the dopamin surge under an adrenaline rush.
He has entered the lab.
Dr. Kim.
You hurriedly pick the bundle of papers, dutifully collected by Bang Chan (after spraying them around to mark his entrance) and rush after the Boss.
You enter into his sacred workplace. Nice and neat with no personalisation whatsoever. Books used to the point of having dog ears, basic stationery disciplined into a mug, and a neat empty workspace.
"Let's work on that common cold remedy, shall we?"
You leave the bundle of Bang Chan's notes for his review and wander off to find the research material. You spot the clear file and place it on the table. You go through the individual pockets, removing the summarised informational sheets for his ease.
He dons a pair of gloves with surgical precision and gets out the glassware. A burette (that was used to measure all four your heights, Dr. Kim is unaware) is prepared by Dr. Kim. He looks at you and raises an eyebrow.
You take your leave.
There's a shuffle of papers as you enter the intern's room with three interns pretending to work. Han relaxes and smirks, reaching out for a lollipop he had taken out of his mouth moments before realising it was you. You tried to ignore him ripping the paper that got attached to the lollipop's sticky surface.
Bang Chan also relaxes as he sneakily goes back to working on his pet project. The Formula of Love. As a potent perfume. He ruffles through his sheets and-
"Did you see my Formula?"
"Oh you poor little baby, Let me make some for you-"
A file whacks Changbin in his face.
He looks at you. You look at him. You freeze.
"Was I, uh, not supposed to give it to the boss?"
(Moment of silence. Add cricket chirping effect. Scratch that. Add crow cawing effect. Or can you try to compose a jingle of stupidity?)
There's a scramble as Bang Chan leaps over his table like a kangaroo who has misplaced it's baby and they run towards the lab.
Both of them are hit with a thick scent of roses and chocolate.
"He's made it."
You stare at Bang Chan.
"He's also sprayed it on himself."
You take a step back.
"Now he's as delectable as a -"
"Got it." You shush him and don a facemask.
Bang Chan approved by nodding his head. Together you enter the Valentine Disaster. There's a Kim Seungmin in a loose tie.
I repeat.
Loose tie-
"Mr. Bang Christopher Chan."
Bang Chan deflates.
"What is this formula you have written? This cannot be common cold. Although my cold remains as it is-"
We're interrupted by Han and Changbin. Who missed the wear-your-mask moment.
A deep sniff and both men have heart eyes.
"It's a formula of Love," you manage and whack Dr. Kim back in to the lab room and close the door just as those two physically throw themselves at him.
Bang Chan restrains the two and throw them on the ground. He paws himself over and find a vial of nasty stuff.
He rams it into Seo Changbin's nostril.
"Jesus christ-"
He then rams the same vial into Han's nose.
"He has Chlamydia!" spits out Han.
When the two quieten down and Bang Chan throws his vial away in disgust, a brief debriefing session is held.
"How do we get this perfume off him?"
"It'll wear off," says Bang Chan, "hopefully."
🍾
(3 weeks later)
Han is in the middle of recounting how he had a chocolatey feeling in his heart when he saw Dr. Kim that day. The Boss shuts him up with a chicken wing.
You catch Kim Seungmin looking curiously at you. He looks away.
You also catch Seo Changbin's eye. He proceeds to open his mouth to show chewed chicken and fries. You show him your middle finger.
Your waiter arrives, a guy with a gleaming badge named 'Minho'. He sets down a bottle of soju next to Kim Seungmin.
"On the house," he says, and winks at Kim Seungmin.
You four scramble up as soon as he leaves and physically lift Kim Seungmin out of the restaurant.
Han goes back for the Soju bottle while Changbin pays the bill with Kim's credit card.
🍾
Dr. Kim is standing by the zebra crossing.
Existing. Breathing.
Till a timid tap is at his shoulder.
He turns in a reflex. A long haired, beautiful guy shyly smiles at him.
"Do you mind if I get your name? I'm Hyun-"
There's a battle cry and all of a sudden Dr. Kim is airborne. Two masked men are carrying him and-
"What the Fu- Changbin! Han!"
He looks back at the guy whose gotten over his shock and is dialling frantically, "I know these guys. I'm good!"
🍾
This was getting out of hand.
Two sheepish masked men sit in front of him. You avoid all eye contact with the accused and victim. Seungmin sighs.
"You two are the worst complication of this incident."
The traitors look at each other and point at you.
"What?" you say.
"There's the reason you are in this position."
"Have you considered getting a new assistant?"
You scowl at the two and open your mouth-
"No."
Both perpetrators whistle in reaction.
"But I might replace my interns."
"Hey," cries Changbin indignantly.
"He called us 'My interns'," Han comments tearfully.
🍾
Seungmin is playing a video game. It's a Café and a ramen cools by him as he's taken up by the game.
"Hey," a deep voice startles him.
"Yeah?"
The two partner up and die in each round they play.
There's a twinkle behind Felix's eyes - that's the guy- as they exchange numbers.
"No dic pics," jokes Seungmin.
"Why not?" Felix winks at Seungmin.
🍾
It isn't until some extensive research that Bang Chan drops his bomb shell.
"Uh, there's a miscalculation in my Formula."
Dr. Kim closes his eyes with his hands, "Please don't tell me that I made a highly concentrated solution and overdosed."
"... no."
"Thank God."
"But, It's not a Formula for Love."
"Then?"
"It's supposed to help pollination by attracting insects-"
"Do I look like I'm capable of pollination, Mr. Bang Chan?"
"...... no."
Han snorts, "If that's what they call it these days."
"Shutup, you Insect."
Han deflates and snuggles into your side for cuddles.
Bang Chan continues, "And I may have created the actual Formula."
All huddle around the vial.
Changbin looks at dismay at his notes on the incident ,"Shame. Now I gotta do it again."
As Bang Chan hands it to you a hand snatches the vial.
"This needs security."
🍾
A burglar enters the lab.
"Shibal. Is this not a house?"
The safe meets his eye.
"A safe? Maybe something valuable?"
He cracks the code in minutes.
A lonely vial shimmers in the dark.
"What?" Mr. Yang Jeongin, second attemptee at burglary, is baffled at the high security for this vial. He uncorks it and sniffs it.
"Maybe it's not good to sniff things in labs," he adds as an afterthought as the vial has emptied out.
Yeah. Maybe.
Best of luck anyway.