Chapter Text
“Special Week was so close! But Grass Wonder really fought for that 1st place, huh?” I shuffle three bags full of merchandise off my side
“I know right! And the way Spe-chan just… BEAMED at Grass winning is just… GYAHGH” My plucky star-struck pink comrade beside me still vibrates with energy, putting our light sticks she was holding onto into the three other bags of merch she put down. Her eyes were glazed with tears from overflowing emotion, becoming as reflective as a mirror.
Heading back from a concert always felt like we weren’t where we were supposed to be. Doubly so when we’re the only two people here with full on happi coats and bandanas. But Digitan’s lively simping always managed to bring life into our conversations, even if the train were completely empty.
“The concert was amazing too! The way that Grass’ voice pairswellwithSpecial Week’s—“
Despite the cold AC seeping into my skin, a gentle warmth spreads from my heart. Maybe it’s the adrenaline of being in a concert, maybe it’s the fondness I ended up having for a friend this passionate after all this time. At first, I didn’t know what to make of her. Sure, she was just as enthusiastic as I was at watching races, but she’s an Umamusume. They were born to run, so why be so hesitant about it?
Was I… missing something?
In the end, I learned that even if she intellectually knew she was an Umamusume, she hasn’t accepted the fact that she belongs alongside her peers just as much as she belongs in the fandom.
“—andANSDKLFNJKSGNFSJVMDNC THEY JUST WORK SO WELL TOGETHER, RIGHT?”
Apparently, in the time I was reflecting, she’s already started shipping.
Exchanging our thoughts on the concert and racers, and peeking at our merch haul made the ride back from Kyoto feel like so little time. By the time we get to Tracen’s student dorms, it’s nearly curfew.
“What a day! Thanks for helping me bring our stuff back!” Digital o7 salutes me before I hand her one of the bags.
“No problem. Always better to watch a race with more fellow fans, right?” I check my phone for the time “Oh! Don’t forget to sleep in as soon as you can. It’s pretty late out and we still have to go to the Winter Comiket and I don’t wanna make you deal with sleep deprivation anytime soon.”
“I will, Trainer!” With one last o7, we parted ways for tonight.
I headed out to my apartment in the trainer’s dorms, opening the lights to my living room, the dining area and kitchen separated from it by the couch. A big mirror on the far side of the room, just next to the door to my bedroom and right in front of my couch. I dropped off my bags at the dinner table, coughed out the exhaustion, and ruminated on the entire day.
Getting up early to catch the Arima Kinen before traffic hits us, us screaming as Grass Wonder surges ahead with Special Week hot on her tail, conquering the merch store…
It was really fun…
…
…It was fun…
The hot spring that was my dopamine rush had already dissipated, replaced by the cold stale air of reality. The fun had come to pass. Now what?
I glance around the room, resting my eyes on the bag of merch on the table. Truthfully speaking, you never really knew what to do with the merch you get. You could use the Uma hats, graphic tees, and keychains in everyday life, but we’re in Tracen for Goddesses’ sakes, it’d be mortifying to see your face on a trainer’s clothes and bag.
You avert your gaze, only to end up at that mirror. You see…
Nothing.
No eyes. No stupidly blocky face. No itchy as hell stubble. No messy hair. Not even an empty husk to greet you. Even as you move your arms up and down, even if you move back and forth out of the mirrors way, nobody’s on the other side of the looking glass.
The only thing reflected is what you wore: the happi coat Digital gave you on your second concert together.
You were surprised when she gave it to you. Beyond stuff like merch t-shirts, clothing never seemed like it would’ve made a real difference in simping. She even got it to fit you perfectly. Did she go to a tailor for that? How did she even know my measurements?
Could you even live up to it?
You’re barely even a trainer, only managing to pass as one due to your solid acting skills. Even if they all tell you that you’re “a good trainer” or a “brother in simping”, they’re just putting on a coat of paint on your “real self.”
You took the happi coat off, feeling the stinging chill cling to your clothes. You can feel the itch of phlegm building up in your throat. Looking at the mirror, you find your “real self”.
Nothing. Nobody Imp—
The repeating notes of Girls Legend U’s chorus ring out from my bag. Someone’s calling. Good timing then. Heat seeps back into me. Muttering the lyrics to myself, I feel around the inside of my bag, eventually fishing out my phone. “Sis is calling” it read.
“Just getting back?” I pick up
“Yeah… I really do think I might be fired.” A tired feminine voice answers. “Just overheard my boss and manager talk about someone getting the boot”
“Goddamn, they’re gonna run out of trainers to fire at this rate”
“I KNOW RIGHT?! AND THEY KEEP DUMPING MOST OF THEIR WORK ON ME!—” I make a mental note to murder her boss later, “—Uuurgh I pity the juniors that have to deal with this after I go, but man. I couldn’t care less if this hellhole burns to the ground.”
“Well, got any job offers lined up? Even if you don’t pass the exam, Central has a bunch of connections beyond the track itself. Culinary staff, janitors, teachers, accountants, fashion designers… Hell, you could finally make that psych degree useful and take over the Stress Stump’s role as a licensed therapist. We even got big names like the Mejiros or newcomer Satono Family on speed dial if you want office work.”
“I’ve already been studying for Central’s trainer exam for a while and saving up anyways so I don’t think I’ll need a job in the interim anytime soon. How’s Central been for you?”
“Not bad. The director’s a bit eccentric, and it’s still a school chock full of hyperactive teenagers that can run 50 kilometres an hour.” I chuckle, “Me and Digital’s been taking it kinda slow to save up some energy for Winter Comiket.”
“Still wish I could’ve joined you two. I’ve been wanting to meet with Digital ever since you scouted her. Seems like we’d really vibe together”
“Definitely. I can almost already hear the two of you gushing over Umadols. Oh by the way, we just got home from the Arima Kinen, and got a huge ass haul. I’ll send you the pic later and let you pick which one I’ll bring back to you.”
“Damn, that’s nice.”
She hangs up, leaving me alone. I look back at the mirror.
Still nothing.
I’ll just ignore it for now, walking past it to get dinner.
I scroll through the notifications on my phone while I eat to see if I missed anything else. It’s mostly just admin stuff from Tazuna, a couple of spam messages and—
“Your sister told me you finally have a trainee! Congratulations!”
An email. From my parents…
I put my phone down. I didn’t want to read that any much longer, but without my phone I don’t have anything to distract myself from these thoughts. I glance around the room then laid my eyes on a bookshelf just beside the living room couch. It was filled with books on training, medicine, scheduling, all the things a trainer would need. The things a trainer should need.
Just past that are the ones that can be technically considered my “hobby” but are really just there to fill up the space. Alice in Wonderland and it’s sequel Through the Looking Glass, a The Count of Monte Cristo manga adaptation, and Revolutionary Uma Utena to name a few. Some of them I bought, some of them Digital gave me, but all of them I still haven’t touched.
“I probably should read them. It’d be cruel to just leave Digital’s recommendations rotting away in a bookshelf.”
Maybe if I wasn’t tired or if I wasn’t as good at ignoring things, I could’ve caught a glimpse of a swooshing tail in the mirror.