Archive of Our Own

Seonghwa’s day had started well.

Like amazing.

He had woken up to a text of his flirt, wishing him a good morning, and a perfect coffee just sweet enough. He had spent 30 minutes on the phone talking about how beautiful Japan was with his best friend Wooyoung. He had walked to his 10 am class with his sunglasses on and Doja Cat in his ears. God this was such a good. Morning.

Why.

Why did it have to be ruined so early.

Why couldn’t he just have a beautiful morning in peace.

Why was this man so set on ruining his life.

He had just sat down on his chair, bathed in sunlight, coffee in hand, when he entered the class. A flash of bright orange hair, the glint of piercings along his ears and lower lip, the faint smell of tobacco and citrus, a pair of eyes hidden obnoxious artsy sunglasses.

Kim. Fucking. Hongjoong.

Aka the worst human being to have walked this earth. Obnoxiously smart, ridiculously lazy, he raffled rewards and prizes like he did gazes in the hallways. Where Seonghwa was bright he was a genius. Where he ran fast, he dashed. If “idgaf” was a person he’d look like him. If ‘I’m smarter and you know it’ could talk, that would be him.

But if he was just an edgy mannequin looking smartass, then that would be it and Seonghwa wouldn’t care.

But nooooo, he just had to have taken a specific interest in pissing seonghwa off. Not even by talking to him or bullying him nothing like that. Just by existing near him.

Like right now. He walked past his seat and just happened to drop the almost empty coffee cup he was holding on Seonghwa desk. And his carefully prepared assignment. An almost empty cup. A huge stain was blooming over the neat handwriting. It was ruined. His scores weren’t even at stake; the assignment wasn’t graded. It was only meant to piss him off.

Kim barely spared him a glance and a “My bad…” before strutting off to his seat, failing to hide the smirk ghosting on his pierced lips. He left behind a silently seething Seonghwa.

 Fuck this man was lucky Seonghwa cared about his it boy image, he would’ve taken him right there otherwise. Or would he? Seonghwa thought it through.

Could he take Kim in a fight? Probably not. He had seen him wearing unnecessarily tight shirts and well, he couldn’t not look. Kim was pretty well built. Lean but pretty fit. Toned arms, firm back, and a very defined pair of pec-

“Good morning, guys!”

Thank God for his math teacher. That was a dangerous train of thought. And an extremely unnecessary one.

“Kim Hongjoong, do me a favour and get those feet off your table”

“Aye Aye, sir” came a sultry voice right behind Seonghwa. The teacher simply answered with a laugh, magnificently unfazed by the cheeky answer. That was just the “KHJ effect” as Seonghwa called it. He enraptured their professors so easily, it felt suspicious. And extremely annoying.  

Luckily, they were in different majors, so no need to suffer his presence all the time. But when he had to, he had to consider learning meditation techniques from Thai monks or something to reign his temper in and keep his carefully curated pretty aesthetic boy image.

Seonghwa studied in creative writing, entertaining his dream to be a writer and maybe one day, a poet, while Kim was the rising star of the fashion major. But there were times, like this math class, when he just had to live in the same room as Kim.

Seonghwa gritted his teeth. His perfect day was off to a rocky start, but no way he was going to let a conceited, cocky, infuriatingly sexy motherfucker ruin his mood. He looked pretty today, the weather was amazing, he was seeing his flirt after class. Breathe. Relax. Channel your energy. Positive. Breathe. Stay positive. He fixed his bangs; his murderous impulses filed for later. Maybe.

When the class was dismissed, two loooooong hours later, seonghwa gracefully gathered his things, brushing his smooth, long hair back and very calmly rushed outside. Next up, was his shift at the on-campus convenience store. Which could only mean one thing. As soon as he arrived, his apron was on, customer-service smile beautifully spread on his face, makeup carefully fixed. He checked his reflection. Slay. He was going to love it

Once he was ready, he took his position behind the counter. And calmly, very giddily, waited. When the clock his 12:30, a tall, muscular silhouette passed behind the blurred glass.

When he entered, his eyes grazed over the shelves, before settling on seonghwa. A smirk played on his lips. Seonghwa responded with a wink, trying to deal with the karen at the counter who demanded the lettuce to be twice cheaper because “it doesn’t look fresh”. A lettuce.

Seonghwa was on the verge of snapping and venomously supply how she was too young to act like that, but might want to worry about wrinkles, when the man, Ian, stepped behind the girl to take the lettuce from her hands.

“Come on miss, can’t you see you’re stressing him out? This lettuce is perfectly fine. Not as much as you naturally, but we both know we shouldn’t have too high standards in this economy, am I right?”

 The lady giggled at the comment and didn’t utter another complaint. She even smiled before leaving. At Ian, not at Seonghwa. But a win is a win.

“Saw you having trouble again, beautiful”

“Seeing as you come to my rescue every time, maybe I should take troublemakers more often”

Ian chuckled. They had been dancing this dance for three weeks now, from the moment Ian had asked for seonghwa’s number the first time he had entered the convenience store.

And oh, Seonghwa was loving it. He had never had issues with getting attention. His delicate features and good style always brought him looks from guys and girls alike. But Ian was exactly his type. Maybe a tad bit too tall, but the edgy piercings, the tattoos, the dyed hair, the crooked smile… He was perfect. And his sultry, slightly accented voice only helped.

So Seonghwa was developing a little crush. And, seeing how this was going, it was mutual.

“Your usual?”

“Yes please, I really need one right one”

Seonghwa picked up Ian’s favourite cigarettes from behind the counter. A flash of a credit card and it was done.

 Ian didn’t wait to be outside or even asked seonghwa, he popped a stick between his lips and whipped out his lighter. Seonghwa flinched ever so slightly. The scent was familiar and he didn’t like it. Besides, he wasn’t allowed to smoke inside.

Taking the opportunity, Seonghwa leaned in and snatched the cigarette, brushing the other man’s plump lips. Without breaking eye contact or leaning back, seonghwa held the smoking stick between his fingers and smiled, tone teasing. “Sorry sir, you can’t smoke inside”

Ian simply smiled, crooked, teasing. “Very well, you’re the boss”

He winked and slowly walked out, not without blowing a kiss above his shoulder.

As soon as the door shut, Seonghwa squealed in excitement, his hands cupping his flushed cheeks. He was almost spinning around screaming like a schoolgirl… when he froze. In the doorway. It wasn’t Ian, unfortunately. Unfortu-fuckin-nately. It was Kim.

What the hell.

Seonghwa didn’t remember telling him where he worked. He didn’t even remember mentioning it in front of him.

“You treat all your customers like that?”

God he was annoying. “Oh, not like I would ever consider you anything else than my bitch of a classmate.”

“Mh… keep telling yourself that sweetheart”

“Fuck you Kim, what do you want”

“Damn, so aggressive, careful I might start liking you”

Seonghwa closed his eyes. His murderous impulses were back in full force.  He didn’t grace the little (very little) shit with an answer and raised an eyebrow, still waiting for an answer to his question.

The other man caught the look and miraculously didn’t push. He took the few steps between him and the counter and put down a pair of sunglasses on it. What the- Oh.

These were Seonghwa’s.

“You left them in class”

Seonghwa gave him an unimpressed look. No shit sherlock.

“yeah okay. Are you going to keep wasting my time or actually buy something”

Kim tilted his head, visibly pissed. He pushed his tongue in his cheek, the movement making his piercing catch the neon lights. And Seonghwa’s eyes. That piercing was constantly driving him mad. Because it looked obscene, weird, certainly not smoking hot, and especially not when Kim played with it, the glint of silver teasing against his plump lips.  But he couldn’t stop staring. Until the other man, voice raspy with annoyance, dragged him out of his disgusted daze. “Are you serious right now? Is a thank you really not something your petty ass can muster?”

“Well, if you had any sort of decency, you would actually deserve my gratefulness, Kim”

He spat the last name like an insult. But that didn’t seem to faze the guy, who only leaned closer, until he was close enough to hook a finger under seonghwa’s chin and tilt his head up.

He was shorter, sure, but seonghwa still had fight every single nerve in him to hold his gaze. Kim ran his eyes on his face, studying him. Seonghwa had to shake him off. He really had to push him away. This was such a stupid, humiliating situation. But how could he with those eyes staring into his soul.

“Seonghwa-ya…” he started, the same painfully twisting seonghwa’s stomach “Not sure you’re qualified to talk about my decency, but if you keep fucking around, you’re gonna find out just how indecent I can get.”

Seonghwa felt a shiver running down his spine at the implication. Or at least what he thought was implied. Maybe Kim was just saying he could be petty too, but maybe Seonghwa didn’t want to believe that. This man was so gross. Just so he could get rid of him, and because he caught, in the corner of his eye, a silhouette approaching the door, probably a customer, Seonghwa swallowed down his pride.

“Th- Thank you. For the sunglasses.”

The other had the audacity to flash him a mischievous grin, and a glimpse of his perfect teeth. His voice dropped to a whisper, only for seonghwa to hear “Good boy”. Seonghwa was on the verge of throwing up. Kim drew his hand back and walked out of the store, holding the door for the new customers. “See you tomorrow, Park”

Seonghwa felt his cheekbones burning. He felt… annoyed. Angry, humiliated. And ashamed, for some reason. Why? it wasn’t like it was his fault. Yes, he might’ve been a bit rude but hey that was on Kim too. He shouldn’t have been born a piece of shit. A very sexy one, but a piece of shit, nonetheless.

And just like that, his customer service mode was back on. “Hi, what can I do for you!”

Let’s just… forget about it. Let’s act like this whole thing didn’t happen. And most importantly, let’s ignore how his heart was racing much faster than when Ian had left.  

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The next math class, a late evening class the day after, came with the worst news of seonghwa’s week. Or of his year. Maybe even his life, with the exception of his grandma’s death. And even then, she was 103, it was about time.

This was so much worse.

A group project.

In pairs.

Based on abilities. Fuck. Him and Kim were the top students.

Fuck indeed.

Talk about a shitty start to the week. A thud next to his ear dragged him out of his sombre thoughts. Kim settled in the seat next to him, all flashing metal and smirking lips. This was going to be a looooong week.

“Not really looking forward to working with you, Park, not gonna lie.” Spat the genius, voice dripping with mock respect. His face said otherwise, an amused grin dancing on his lips.

“The feeling is mutual Kim”

“I know it is. The faster we’re done the less time we have to spend with each other so please hold you little temper back just for a few hours, yeah?”

Seonghwa raised an eyebrow “Don’t tell me what to do, what the fuck”

“See, sweetheart, this is what I mean. Stop being a bitch for a week and maybe, maybe you’ll find it in yourself to actually put your hatred for me into something productive, Okay?”

It wasn’t like it was the first time, but being mansplained by another man would never figure in seonghwa’s dating experience top ten. The guy made getting on his nerves an art form, it was actually impressive.

But as much as he hated to admit, Kim had a point. However, he was also right saying Seonghwa was petty. So, he didn’t grace the conceited remark with an answer and simply started writing the title for the assignment.

A few hours and several assassination attempts later; the assignment was halfway done.

“Alright guys, that’s it for today! Next class we’re finishing this, and after that, you’ll have to present your work.”

Seonghwa sighed heavily. He was exhausted in advance. Kim was already up, stalking to the exit, throwing “See ya” to the teacher. Seonghwa rolled his eyes, this dude would never stop irking him to his very core. Just who did he think he was.

Seonghwa was still muttering curses and plagues under his breath, when he almost collided with a tangerine hair ball in the hallway.

Oh, be fucking for real.

Couldn’t he have peace now that the day was finally over??

Surprisingly, Kim didn’t seem fazed by the almost crash in reality or the actual crash out in Seonghwa’s brain happening in front of him. Instead, he considered Seonghwa, his eyebrows tied in a frown.

Seonghwa eyes drifted from his face to his phone instinctively, the screen was lit on a news page relating aggressions in the neighbourhood. And… Oh Shit. That was Seonghwa’s dorm.

“You have any one to bring you home?”

“I… what?” Seonghwa stuttered, till flustered by the news.

“that’s your dorm too, isn’t it? You want to get assaulted on the way back, fine by me.”

“The fuck? You live there too; can’t you stop being so annoying and take me home?”

The other man shot him a look.

Oh. Oh god that was so weird. But seonghwa was certainly not ready to back down.

“You know what I meant, stop looking at me weird.”

Kim sighed, looking almost sorry for Seonghwa’s stupidity. Oh, the audacity.

“No, because I have to stay working on my project, honey. So, it’s a bit of a hassle but seeing you indeed don’t have anyone I’ll-”

“Don’t bother, your highness” Seonghwa cut him off, voice dripping with venom. “I do have someone, you go to your higher creative spheres, I won’t bother you there”

He walked past him, purposefully hitting his shoulder on the way, leaving behind a confused Kim.

At the last second, a hand heavy with rings closed around seonghwa’s wrist adorned with bracelets. The metals clicking made seonghwa jolt, a shiver running down his spine.

“You… You sure you have someone?”

Seonghwa didn’t bother to turn around and grabbed his phone, dialling Ian’s number. “Not like you really care but yeah, I do”.

Seonghwa desperately tried to ignore the emotions laced in Kim’s tone. When he dropped his hand, it was like it had burned him.

“Yeah, you’re right, I don’t really care.” Then without another word, he walked off. Seonghwa caught himself listening to the footsteps fading in the hallway. It was only when Ian picked up, a.few minutes later, that Seonghwa realised again just how fast his heart was beating.

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“I’ll be fine from here, thanks Ian”

“No problem, Beautiful, it was on my way.”

“Where were you anyway? You arrived so fast!”

“I um-, I was helping out a friend, he had classes in your building”

“Oh ok… Well thanks again, I wasn’t really reassured going home alone at this time”

Ian smiled. His hand came up to rest on seonghwa’s hair.

“Like I said, Sweetheart, no need to thank me”

Sweetheart.

Seonghwa hid his unease behind a smile and wished him goodnight before walking to his building’s door. When he turned back, right before entering, Ian had already left. Poor guy had been forced to cut short whatever he was doing and drop everything to help Seonghwa…

He had been so sweet, a hand brushing the small of Seonghwa’s back every time they came across someone. When they parted, Seonghwa had hesitated. What if he invited him upstairs? But no. they were cool, but three weeks was much too soon for him. He liked taking his time when dating. But he really didn’t mind the little attentions Ian gave him. The light touches, the sweet smiles, the teasing tone, the pet names.

The thought dragged back to seonghwa’s mind the unease from earlier. Sweetheart. For some reason the name sounded wrong in Ian’s mouth. Like it didn’t belong there. His voice felt off, his sexy accent sounded so weird, his smile wasn’t supposed to look like that, all sweet and clean and unpier-

A pierced lip set in a crooked grin flashed behind his eyes.

Oh hell no. Absolutely not. Kim was hot, no denying that, but no way, no waayyy did Seonghwa prefer this guy calling him sweetheart than handsome Ian. Nope. He was really tired, the day had been long, and the last class had been his last straw. He was really, really tired and well, hating the guy with a burning passion, it was only normal for Seonghwa to think about him after spending 2 hours working with him.

Seonghwa got ready for bed, it was almost muscle memory. Shoes off as soon as he entered, shower, oversized t-shirt and underwear (best nighttime combo, sue him), cup noodles, teeth, and he was in bed, phone in hand, his 23^rd rewatch of Love to Hate you (Go watch it, it’s so good) lighting up the screen. But even after all of that, tangerine-coloured hair still lingered in his mind.

“I’m just tired. I’m really just tired”

Mh… keep telling yourself that sweetheart.

 “Oh, for fuck’s sake!”

༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶

Two days later, Seonghwa was walking down the hallways, revising his new poems. Lost in thought, he entered an empty classroom, thinking it was his.

When he lifted his gaze from his works, he was faced with two abnormal things. A very empty classroom for the philosophy class he was supposed to attend for one, and a whiteboard covered in sketches. No, no he meant covered in sketches, there wasn’t an inch of white visible. Jackets with distressed sleeves, half-skirts layered with dress pants, dresses artfully wrapping around the silhouettes… All ridiculously detailed, notes scribbled in the margins, specifying a material, a stitching, a draping technique. Samples of fabric were pinned as well, softly moving in the wind blowing from the open window. Seonghwa loved fashion, and that had to be the most beautiful, chaotic display he had ever seen. His hand came up without thinking, fingertips brushing the thin paper. Every piece was unique, genderless, asymmetrical but balanced. And every single one had a logo scribbled on the page or directly on the piece. Just a few lines, two letters intertwined. H and… J?

Seonghwa froze. Damn it.

“Like what you see, pretty boy?”

Seonghwa was startled by the voice, whispering wayyyy too close to his ear.

His eyes squeezed shut. Really? Now?

He didn’t remember breaking a mirror, but his luck seemed to have run out completely, lately. He didn’t turn. He wasn’t going to give Kim the satisfaction. He didn’t even respond. Just tried to ignore the breath brushing his jaw. And the hand wrapped around his arm. “You know… you’d look great in these.”

That caught seonghwa off guard. “What…”

“I’m saying you’d look good wearing my designs”

Seonghwa turned his head. Kim was looking at the board, seeming extremely focused. Like he was imagining how seonghwa would look in his designs. And damn, Seonghwa wasn’t used to seeing him like that.

He was still standing way too close, and looked way too good, damp hair brushed on one side of his head, toying with his piercing.

Seonghwa’s nose was really not helping either, picking up a sweet accent of tobacco and… Was that orange? Fuck, he just had to smell amazing too.

When he glanced at Seonghwa and caught his stare, he raised an eyebrow, probably wondering what the hell he was staring at. Problem was, he kept pulling his piercing around, there was no way Seonghwa could focus on anything else.

Miraculously Seonghwa managed to make his voice function properly, fighting back with a snarl. “Why would you think that”

Hongjoong sighed, apparently tired of his attitude “Because you’d have to shut it for once”

Seonghwa rolled his eyes. What was he expecting from a short and very rude dude. And a very talented motherfucker on top of that; It made sense he was at the top of his major, he was on a professional level.

And seonghwa knew ball. He really, really loved fashion and had actually once dreamed to become a model. His height cutting it off, he had devoted his heart and soul to reading and writing, until he fell in love with poetry.

He would’ve loved to wear Kim’s pieces. They were beautiful, diverse, and honestly, right down his ally. Would he ever admit it? Not in a million years.

He shrugged Kim’s hand off and walked out. But he felt weird just leaving without saying anything. Kind of hoping the other wouldn’t hear, he whispered under his breath. “I would have loved to try them, if it wasn’t for you”

Before Kim could give him any sign he had heard him, Seonghwa rushed out. Because now he was late to his class. And because he was blushing for some reason, and never would he let Kim see it.

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A few days later, the day before their math’s presentation, Seonghwa was getting ready. He was going out with the rest of his class to celebrate. One thing seonghwa thought was great with his class was how they would take any excuse to go out and party. When his best friend wasn’t there it was even worse. Something Seonghwa simply couldn’t say no to. He checked himself out in the mirror. He looked amazing. A cropped black sleeveless sweater in a knitted, slightly distressed material, high waisted flared jeans, fitting his long legs in all the right places and, next to the door, patiently waiting for him, his favourite heeled boots. He had legs for days, a slutty waist and perfect, wavy hair. He looked incredible, and he looked incredible for someone. Ian had accepted to join them. Seonghwa didn’t know how he wanted this night to turn out, but he was sure Ian would indulge him, sure he wouldn’t push if Seonghwa didn’t want things to go further. Like 80% sure.

Seonghwa grabbed his accessories to complete his look. A pair of asymmetrical starry earrings, one dangling down his neck, the other with a classic ear piercing and an open ring hooking itself on the higher part of his ear, a chain swaying between the two. With that a long necklace falling beneath his chest with a crescent pendant, and his usual thin stacked bracelets. A white silky scarf was used as a belt, and a loose, oversized jacket slipping off one shoulder (purposefully) tied everything together.

Yep, Seonghwa really looked amazing.

Would Ian be the only one to enjoy the view, Seonghwa wondered.

Actually, no, nevermind. This was for Ian but Seonghwa would have dressed up anyway. No matter who was there. No matter if he was there or not.

He grabbed his purse, slipped his favourite heeled boots on and headed out, leaving his empty room behind.

The bar was right at the corner. One of the many advantages of his dorm building.

In front of the door, a tall silhouette was waiting, the bar’s lights reflecting in his sunglasses. Why was Ian wearing sunglasses at 9 pm, very good question.

When he noticed seonghwa, a smirk pulled at his lips.

“Hey beautiful. You look fantastic”

“Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself”

Ian jerked his chin towards the door. “After you”

Seonghwa smiled and passed him to open the door. And froze.

Kim Hongjoong was there too.

He never, never came with them on nights like these. And damn was it a shame, because he looked hot. As in, jaw dropping on the floor, borderline drooling hot.

He was wearing a tight black shirt, in a material that dangerously looked like satin, shimmering every time he moved. He had forgotten way too many buttons, his chest and collarbones peeking out. His orange hair, usually messy and careless, was styled off of his forehead, a few strands artfully shading his eyes. And his eyes, (omg his eyes).

He was wearing eyeliner. Not a lot, just to make his gaze sharp enough to pierce holes in his glass of whiskey. His heavily ringed hand was lazily spinning the amber liquid in the large glass, elbows resting on his knees.

That’s when Seonghwa noticed the golden chain and hourglass pendant dangling from his neck. And that caused a lot of intrusive, very unwelcome thoughts.

Kim must have felt his gaze, because his eyes suddenly came up to meet his. Seonghwa had just the time to notice Kim looking him up and down, an eyebrow raised before tearing his gaze away.

What was he even thinking checking out the most annoying guy he knew with a sweetheart like Ian right beside him. Outrageous.

With a hand brushing the small of his back, Ian guided him through the crowd to the bar. Seonghwa refused to check, but he could Hongjoong’s gaze following them, tracking his every movement. He could almost feel the burn on the bare skin of his shoulder.

They had been… Fine for the last couple of days. Only talking about work, barely looking at each other, it was definitely better than the usual snarling. Seonghwa had even relaxed the tiniest bit, allowing himself to let someone else do some of the work for once, instead of doing it all because of the dumbasses he usually had to deal with. Something Hongjoong didn’t seem to mind. They weren’t on good terms, certainly not, but the animosity had faded in the background.

Seonghwa desperately tried to take his mind off the designer, to focus on his actual crush. Once they were at the bar, Ian turned to him, waiting to hear his order.

“I’ll take a Monaco, thanks”

“Relax, beautiful, we have the whole night! You sure you don’t want something stronger”

Yes, Seonghwa was sure. First, he really liked the French cocktail, made of beer and lemonade with a dash of grenadine syrup. Second, knowing how lightweight he was, he had no intention of waking up with something stupid he had done to deal with. But he didn’t want Ian to get the wrong idea. “Maybe later when we have less eyes on us.”

Ian simply smiled and hummed, before ordering a bottle of soju.

The next few hours, Seonghwa spent his time flirting with Ian and laughing with his classmates. And for the next few hours, Kim was watching him. Stealing glances whenever he could, his face growing more concerned as the night and drinks went on. Seonghwa couldn’t figure out why. He felt great, laughter came easily, his body felt lighter and lighter, his brain to mouth filter less and less tight.

It was around 10 pm when he finally realised something wasn’t right.

He looked at the glass of soju in his hand, trying with all his clouded mind to figure out when the fuck he had ordered soju. And since when was this shot empty? Wait no. Wrong shot. This one was full, but he had emptied the one before that. And the one before that. And the… How many shots did he take?

He tried to get up to go to the bathroom, but the floor suddenly felt like quicksand, and why was the wall spinning like that? He sat back down. Standing up felt like his head was way too far from the ground. He didn’t like it

“You ok beautiful? You want another?”

Seonghwa turned to the low voice beside him. His body felt weak and too light, not catching up to his movements. He almost collided with the big smile etched on Ian’s face. Oh, Ian! He liked Ian. He looked nice. Not as nice as… Seonghwa was too drunk to finish that thought.

“Iaaaaaaan~”

“Yep?”

“I thiinkkk… I think… I want to go hooome…”

The smile grew twice as big. “Of course, baby, let me get my stuff alright? We’ll go to your place.” Seonghwa felt an idiotic smile spread on his cheeks. Yay! He was going home to his pillows and silk sheets and his big rabbit plushie. He would sleep for two- not three days straight.

Ian was gone from his side, and Seonghwa didn’t mind, he could wait. A commotion behind him dragged him out of his counting of the lights he was seeing. Which allegedly was much more than the ones actually there.

When he turned, the scene unfolding a few tables from theirs was enough to sober him up the tiniest bit.

Kim.

Kim Hingjoong and Ian. Apparently arguing.

What the fuck?

That’s when Seonghwa realised he indeed had never ordered those shots. Ian had. And Seonghwa didn’t want to get drunk tonight, he really didn’t. But Maybe Ian hadn’t really understood what he meant. He should’ve been clearer, fuck. Stupid Seonghwa.

Trying to understand what was going on, Seonghwa tried to stand up and immediately regretted it when the floor started to feel like those sensation rides in fairs. It was going way too far way too fast.

He felt a cold surface against his cheek. The wall probably. And then hands were there too, gentle and warm, steadying his back on the wall. And more voices, louder this time. Seonghwa had regained just enough balance to make out the words.

“You asshole you could get arrested for this!”

“Oh come on, he was consenting. It’s not like it’s any of your businesses”

“Maybe not but I know a player when I see one.”

Seonghwa didn’t understand. He didn’t even hear the next words. All he saw was Ian grabbing his phone, making a face and leaving after throwing a hasty “Sorry Seonghwa, gotta go, I’ll see you around” over his shoulder.

“Wait Ian! Where are you-” Too late.

Seonghwa turned his frustration to the one still holding him against the wall. Fucking Kim Hongjoong. Of course.

“Why can’t you just let me live my life?”

“Are you serious? I just saved your ass!”

“I didn’t need saving what the fuck?? I was doing just fine!”

“No, you weren’t! he was-” Hongjoong sighed. The smell of alcohol laced with his usual orange and tobacco. He had been keeping a steady supply of whiskey for the entire night; there was no way he was completely aware of what he was doing either.

Not that it mattered. He had made Ian leave.

“And now my evening is ruined. I just lost my chance to finally get laid after literal months and it’s all because your stupid ass just couldn’t muster a wee bit of just leaving me the fuck alone”

“So, what now, you want me to drag him back to fuck you? How are your standards this low in the first place? I could probably do much better than him with my hands tied behind my back”

Seonghwa hadn’t thought this through. The words had slipped out, angry and senseless. He hadn’t meant half of what he had said. He wasn’t that eager to finish the night with someone. But now, something, alcohol probably, made him want to keep up the rhythm with Kim. Of whatever this whole thing was.

“What if I said I don’t believe you?”

Hongjoong stayed silent. He was still standing way too close for comfort; palm pressed to the wall above seonghwa’s head. At this moment, something shifted. The music around them faded in the background. Seonghwa’s vision tunnelled on the man before him. His shadowed eyes, burning gaze, flushed cheeks, bright hair, pierced lips. His lips. He was playing with the piercing again, moving it around in frustration, biting the plump muscle.

God he was sexy. Seonghwa’s mind clouded with alcohol started wondering. How would those lips feel against his own? Would the piercing hurt or just feel cold? And what about on his neck? his stomach? his…

Wow. Too far.

But then he started speaking again, his voice a sultry, growly whisper and Seonghwa thought he might melt right then and turn into a puddle on the floor. “Then I guess I would have to try and convince you, sweetheart”

They were drunk. And not a little. Seonghwa would probably forget everything by morning. Everything included the look in Hongjoong’s eyes. Anger, annoyance, and something burning deeper and much, so much hotter.

Jealousy.

Not jealous of seonghwa, jealous because of Seonghwa.

And he would forget everything.

If he’d forget it anyway. Maybe it was like it never happened in the first place. Maybe whatever would come next would just… not count.

Maybe Seonghwa could finally acknowledge the heat pooling in his stomach whenever he gravitated too close to Hongjoong. Just for one night. He was drunk. So was Hongjoong. So seonghwa tried, because maybe he was actually a bit desperate at the moment and maybe Kim looked like the perfect candidate.

“What are you waiting f- mmph”

Seonghwa didn’t finish. Hongjoong cut him off, crashing their lips together. Seonghwa’s surprise was dulled by the alcohol, he barely jolted and immediately melted. His hands wrapped around the other’s neck, who was very intently, thoroughly devouring him. His lips were soft and warm, the cold piercing grazing his teeth. Their mouths kept parting, only to meet again, kisses growing more heated. Until Hongjoong pulled out, just out of the reach of Seonghwa’s lips, chuckling when he chased after the sensation. “Seonghwa, are you getting shy on me?”

“Asshole”

“Oh, come on sweetheart” Kim leaned back in, breath warm against Seonghwa’s lips “Open up a bit more for me”

Seonghwa’s eyes fluttered shut as he pulled Hongjoong’s neck to capture his lips in a messier, hotter, sloppier kiss. And he did as he was told, greedily hooking Hongjoong’s tongue when he licked inside his mouth. A moan clawed up his throat, threatening to break free. He held it in.

But then Hongjoong groaned a “Good boy” against his lips and that undid him.

Broken sounds left his throat, impossible to hold back. Hongjoong swallowed them all, like a desert survivor in need of water. Seonghwa felt strong hands finding his waist and gripping at his hipbone. So tight Seonghwa just knew he would leave marks. He’d have a chrome hearts shaped bruise on his left hip. He chuckled, harshly pulling at Hongjoong’s hair to bring him even closer. When the other man groaned in pain, Seonghwa smiled and pulled harder.

Hongjoong pulled apart, eyes blazing. “My place”

Seonghwa could only follow, giggling in delight, as Hongjoong dragged him out of the bar. The walk was short. Not long enough for seonghwa to recover an ounce of common sense. Luckily Hongjoong’s dorm was floor level, as soon as they had entered the building, Seonghwa was pinned against a door, wrists above his head, and Hongjoong’s lips back on his, while he was fighting with his keys to unlock the door. Emboldened, Seonghwa felt like teasing him a little more. “Jeez, how dense can you be, hurry up”

Hongjoong let out a chuckle in his mouth. “Impatient, are we?”

Seonghwa tried to let out a snarky remark about how he wasn’t helping, be a moan left his lips instead when Hongjoong pressed himself more against him, sandwiching him with the door.

And oh.

Oh.

Seonghwa wasn’t the only one impatient apparently. When he made the remark out loud to Hongjoong, he only smirked against his lips, finally unlocking the door. Perfect timing.

His hands hooked Seonghwa’s thighs and suddenly he was hauled up from the ground. His legs instinctively wrapped around the other’s waist as Hongjoong kicked the door shut without looking and walked them to his bedroom. Seonghwa’s jacket was forgotten somewhere in the entryway.  

Mind swimming with alcohol and arousal, Seonghwa flopped on the covers, dragging Hongjoong on top of him. Unrestrained giggles were still spilling from his lips when Hongjoong started kissing down his throat, hands roaming at his sides. Seonghwa felt a finger dipping under his top, teasing. He rolled his eyes. Will this man ever stop driving him up the wall?

Probably not.

Seonghwa wasn’t as subtle, gripping Hongjoong’s collar to drag his mouth back onto his. Once that was done, he ran his hands down the other’s torso, nails dragging on his (very very toned) pecs through the fabric. He pulled at the hem, forcing it out of his waistband. His hands dived under the fabric, tracing the muscles hidden under it.

When his nails found his shoulder blade, Hongjoong’s breath stuttered, a groan echoing on Seonghwa’s mouth.

“Fuck… You’re killing me you know that”

“What else is new?”

Hongjoong smirked and pulled back just enough to watch him, chest heaving. Seonghwa thought he might just fall apart right then. His styled hair was mussed, eyeliner slightly smudged, remains of Seonghwa’s makeup on his lips, matching with the flush on his cheekbones. Grabbing a tissue on his nightstand, he took out his piercing with his tongue, before letting it land in his hand. His eyes were back on Seonghwa, the tissue back on the nightstand. He had always been hot. But damn, that was something else.

Seonghwa gasped when he felt a cold hand splaying on the bare skin of his back. Hongjoong slowly inched up the fabric, lips peppering his face with kisses, before finding his lips in a sweet, almost tender kiss. Seonghwa let out a whine when Hongjoong broke the kiss to drag his sweater up.

Once Seonghwa was half naked in front of him, legs still caging his waist, Hongjoong got back to the assault of his throat. Seonghwa returned the favour by clumsily undoing the buttons of his black shirt. Once he slid it of his shoulders, his hands settled on the other’s chest, feeling the swell of muscle.

He had wanted to do that for so long.

…

Had he ?

Damn Seonghwa was so drunk.

And turned on.

But can you blame him, he had the hottest guy on campus on top of him and they were both very obviously, physically aroused by the other.

Tired of Hongjoong edging him on, and maybe enjoying their making out a little too much, Seonghwa wrapped one hand in the chain dangling from his neck. The other grabbing a fistful of orange hair, and Hongjoong’s tongue was back to duelling with his own.

When he felt a hand reaching for his belt loops and tugging downwards, he didn’t stop.

The last thing he could remember before drowning in pleasure was a growly whisper in his ear. “Hold on tight, sweetheart.”

༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶

What. In the worst fucking hangover. Was that.

Seonghwa had stirred awake, he was backwards in a bed that wasn’t his, his head tucked in the crook of a neck.

Of.

A.

Neck.

Smelling suspiciously like oranges and smoke.

And an hourglass shaped pendant rested right under his hand, on the other’s chest.

And he was naked.

And when he tried to sit up, his lower back was very, very sore.

Oh, what the fuck.

He was dreaming he had to be.

The hungover was so bad he was hallucinating. Please someone tell him he was hallucinating.

Because there was NO. FUCKING. WAY. He, of all people, had slept with Kim Hongjoong.

“…….shit”

“What was that?”

“Jesus!” Seonghwa turned to his apparently one-night stand “You need to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” Answered Hongjoong, rubbing his eyes. His voice was still slurred with sleep. Seonghwa swallowed. With his puffy eyes and messy hair, the genius looked so freaking adorable. Clearly no point lying to himself into thinking something else. Not after waking up naked in another man’s bed.

Hongjoong’s arm fell back down on the pillows, right where seonghwa had been. For a second, Seonghwa felt the urge to lie back down, he was missing Hongjoong’s warmth and his chest’s comfort and desperately needed some more sleep.

His memory was still blurry, but he did remember dozing off curled up in Hongjoong’s side, feeling clean and content. They had fallen asleep right where they were, backwards on the bed. How they had ended up like this, he’d rather not know.

Seonghwa had caught a glimpse of the alarm clock, it was around 5:00 am. They had left the bar around eleven the night before. Just how many rounds… nevermind.

Either way, he didn’t have any class that morning and had barely slept a few hours. Hongjoong confirmed that, luring him back onto the bed “it’s too early for this, sleep first we’ll argue later, come on”

Seonghwa was just about to lie back down, his head was killing him, memory still clouded. Argue? Why would they argue? Because Seonghwa was mad at him. Why was he mad at him? Because Hongjoong had tried to make up for ruining his evening yesterday. Why was his evening ruined?

Because Ian had left.

Oh.

Oh fuck.

Ian.

Seonghwa jumped out of bed, ignoring the way the floor started looking like a kaleidoscope, and Hongjoong’s little whine when the cover fell down.

“Sorry I... God that was so stupid. That… I can’t believe I’m saying that. That was a mistake.”

“Really? Now? Seonghwa it’s 8am. Can’t we do this later?”

“Oh, my fuckin- I shouldn’t even be here in the first place, what were we thinking, Ian’s going to be heartbroken, how could I do this to him??”

“Or for god’s sake will you stop talking my head is pounding”

“Oh, now you want me to shut up, that’s rich you can’t-”

“Yes, I can! You’re in my home acting like you want to wake up the entire building, and listen I know we fucked up; this was stupid for the both of us, believe me. But if you could please stop overreacting, we might be able to get you out of here discreetly”

Seonghwa stopped fumbling with his clothes, “What?”

“What now you want to stay here? I have roommates and I don’t want to lose the little respect they havoe for me, thank you.”

Seonghwa completely stilled “What is that supposed to mean? Are you ashamed of me or something? We just fucked in case you weren’t aware”

“No, Seonghwa, that’s not what I-”

Seonghwa had enough “It’s fine, I get it, you’re right I’m not especially proud of this either” he walked to the door, clumsily slipping on his shoes.

“Wait a damn second let me just”

“It’s fine, I’ll be careful, I wouldn’t want people knowing I slept with the densest dude on campus either”

“Oh, fuck you Park”

“Likewise, Kim.”

༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶

Seonghwa stormed (silently) out of Hongjoong’s dorm to join the stairs and his own room. Once he was changed and showered, he nervously pressed Ian’s contact. No message, no call, nothing. He had probably forgotten. Or maybe he was hungover too. Then Seonghwa should try and make up for last night. He found some hangover broth in the fridge he kept for occasions like this. Once it was warmed and properly packed, Seonghwa headed out to Ian’s place. He knew where he lived because a mutual friend, Mujin had told him, Ian had never said anything. Of course, they didn’t know each other that much why would he?

Seonghwa got an answer to that much faster than he thought.

Ian was one the third floor, room 315. It was an individual dorm, like Seonghwa’s. He climbed the stairs, already rehearsing what he would say. He was walking to the door to room 315… when he froze in place.

Giggles were spilling from the door.

Feminine ones.

And certainly not pure innocent ones.

Seonghwa’s eyes checked the plate number.

He turned to the floor plan on his left.

Third floor.

Hell he even checked on his phone if he was in the right building.

He was.

This was the right room.

The room in which Ian, who had sworn on everything he loved he was single, had a girl, at 8am, when he had disappeared the night before.

Was it the hangover? Was he still drunk? Better, was he still dreaming and would wake up back in Hongjoong’s bed?

Seonghwa shook his head. No. no stupid delusion, he needed answers. The pounding in his head had doubled on the way and was now possessing every single thought he could muster. He tried messaging Ian; he even heard the vibration through the door’s wood. But Ian didn’t even read. He tried calling. He heard to phone ringing behind the door, footsteps entering the room. Two of them.

“Who is it?” A girl’s voice.

“No one, just the guy from the convenience store I told you about”

“Oh, the cute one?” Seonghwa could hear the girl’s pout in her voice.

“Aaw, are we getting jealous?”

“Well, who can blame me, my Ian baby is a catch”

Ian chuckled, before silencing the call. Seonghwa could only stand there as muffled kissing noises spilled from behind the door, his phone still ringing in his hands. He was shocked to say the least. They had known each other for a month, but Ian was already the perfect man in his mind. How had he been stupid enough. There were so many signs. His heels turned without him telling them too. His hand pressed the elevator button before he could even think about tearing himself from the door. He was outside, but he could still hear Ian chuckling fondly at some girl. Before he even realised it, he was laying down on his bed, crying and blaming himself for being so blind.

Seonghwa cried himself to sleep for the first time in years, all over a guy he had known for a few weeks. God he was so pathetic.

༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶

Seonghwa jolted awake a few hours later. He was still fully dressed, the plastic bag with the hangover soup still patiently waiting for someone to eat it. His eyes were so puffy from crying the world was reduced to a line of clarity. But it was enough for him to see the time. 3:14 pm.

Fuck.

He was so late.

And they had a presentation.

Seonghwa rushed to make himself more presentable, then he rushed to gather his stuff, rushed out of his building, rushed to his class, rushed to open the door… only to find Hongjoong startled out of his mind, already presenting.

“Hi, I’m… Sorry I uh-” Seonghwa was scrambling for a believable excuse. He really didn’t want a black stain on his perfect records, being so late was already outrageous he couldn’t fail the test too he-

“Oh, Seonghwa! Are you sure you should be up?”

The teacher’s voice dragged him out of his panicked spiralling, “I’m… I’m sorry?”

“Well, Hongjoong told us you were very sick and couldn’t present. He insisted you shouldn’t be penalized, but now that you’re here, I don’t even have to think about it. Are you sure you’ll be fine?”

The lie fit like a glove. With his dishevelled appearance and red eyes, the sick excuse felt perfectly believable.

“Yeah, I… I thought it would be better if I was there anyway, I can rest during the weekend”

Seonghwa pulled out a mask from his bag, if he had to act, might as well push all buttons.

The rest of the class went off without a hitch. If Hongjoong stealing worried glances and his head still feeling like a tombstone didn’t count as hitches, naturally. As soon as clock hit the time, Seonghwa rushed outside, mask still on, nausea back full force.

During the entire walk home, he could feel Hongjoong, a few steps behind him, staring at the nape of his neck. Which obviously didn’t help his headache. Why had Hongjoong decided to go home on time today? He usually stayed late to work on his designs. Not that seonghwa had noticed it or anything.

But he really couldn’t handle a fight right now, he needed to go back home to his plushie and cry over how miserable and humiliated he felt. He spent the entire walk bracing for a snarky comment, a cocky smirk, when Hongjoong walked past him next to his place, he half-expected an ass slap. Don’t ask him why.

But no. Hongjoong didn’t do anything. He merely threw him one last concerned glance before disappearing behind his door. The very door he had Seonghwa pinned on the night before.

Seonghwa definitely couldn’t complain from his lack of attention. He really couldn’t deal with Hongjoong right now. He just couldn’t deal with anything other than his self-pitying.

Back at his dorm, the overthinking got worse tenfold.

Maybe that was all his fault.

Maybe if he had been less careful, Ian wouldn’t gave

Maybe if he had been less impulsive that day, and done his research, Ian would have never try to cheat on… whoever that girl was

Maybe he wasn’t enough.

Maybe he could have done better

Maybe, maybe, maybe...

Maybe it was all his fault.

Maybe Ian wasn’t that bad

Maybe Seonghwa was the bad guy

May-

He felt a vibration in his back pocket.

He ignored it.

But the bitch was stubborn

Another. And another. And another.

Now properly pissed off Seonghwa grabbed his phone firmly intending to silence it…when he saw the texts.

Unknown number

• Hey
• It’s Hongjoong
• I’m rly sorry for this morning
• And for treating you like that all this time
• I’m rly sorry, so please don’t block me yet
• Are u okay?

Seonghwa felt a lump growing in his throat. He didn’t have the heart to shut him down now. Why was he apologising now of all times, he couldn’t understand. All he understood were the concerned gazes earlier and the three tiny little words on his screen. Like he actually cared. Like it actually had affected him to see Seonghwa in this state. He didn’t even have time to recover and save the contact, before Hongjoong insisted.

Kim Hongjoong

• Don’t take it the wrong way
• But you looked awful earlier
• Like worse than this morning
• Did something happen?

Before Seonghwa could gather the courage to answer, more messages came in.

Kim Hongjoong

• I guess I have no right to be worried now.
• I’m really sorry Seonghwa
• Just know I’m here if you need anything
• I owe you that much
• Get well soon sweetheart.

That was all it took for seonghwa’s resolve to dissolve in the wind. No please. Don’t go. Please don’t go. His hands acted before his brain could catch up.

The tone rang twice before a panicked Hongjoong picked up.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay? You’re scaring me what’s going on?”

Seonghwa wanted to answer, he really did. But the only sound to leave his mouth was a sniffle and a broken, faded sob.

“Hongjoong…”

“Yes, yes, I’m here Seonghwa, tell me what happened. I know it wasn’t me, I wouldn’t be alive to tell the tale”

A chuckle spilled out reluctantly from Seonghwa’s lips. Hongjoong’s teasing felt familiar, reassuring. So just for this time, he’d let it slide. Because Hongjoong was offering some comfort and he would be crazy to turn it down.

“I… Do you remember the guy from yesterday at the bar?”

“The same guy you were flirting with the other day? Yeah, I remember, a pretty piece of shit if you ask me.”

Seonghwa felt his throat tighten. He really had been blind if even Hongjoong had seen it.

“Well… turns out he’s been lying to me. He swore he was single but… I don’t think he is? And yesterday I- I think he got me to drink, and the days before that- fuck for the past 3 weeks there were so, so many red flags and I just- I ignored all of them because- Because he was sweet and, and for once I wanted to be decisive about something I just-”

“Seonghwa! Seonghwa, stay with me sweetie, it’s ok, it’s fine, you’re the victim in this, okay? He was an asshole to you; don’t you dare blame yourself. You wanted something new, which is fine, he’s the one who fucked up alright?”

Seonghwa nodded, even though Hongjoong couldn’t see him.

“Hmm” was all he could muster at the moment.

“Okay…. Do you need anything? Can I help you for anything?”

Seonghwa considered it. Really considered it. There were so many things and nothing at the same time. Suddenly, by flashes, memory from last night came back to him. How caring Hongjoong had been. How warm his embrace felt. How bad he had wanted to sink into him, crawl inside his ribcage and never ever get out. How Hongjoong had praised him the whole time, showering him with “Sweetheart” and “Baby”. How soft he had been, cleaning him up and changing the sheets.

How bad he wanted it back.

To feel cherished, to feel cared for.

To feel like he was worth it.

The words rolled on his tongue before he could stop himself. “Could you come over?”

“……What?”

“Could you come over? I really need… someone right now.”

A beat passed before Hongjoong answered.

“Why would you want me here, I mean, I’ve been such a dick to you, I can… I can call Wooyoung if you want”

The mention of seonghwa’s best friend almost brought him to tears. He had forgotten how Hongjoong and Wooyoung knew each other. “He’s away with his boyfriend. And either way, I don’t need him right now I need you.”

The silence on the other end was deafening. Then, “Are you sure? You’re not gonna stab me in the throat when I get in or something?”

Seonghwa chuckled, he couldn’t help it. “For God’s sake Hongjoong. Get your sexy ass up here”

“Okay, okay, since you asked so nicely… What’s your dorm number?”

“403. Hurry up, I might change my mind and grab a knife.”

“I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying”

The line went dead. And Seonghwa could still feel a faint smile gracing his lips. He didn’t know himself why he had invited Hongjoong, he just knew he needed something to feel real. To feel honest. And well, Hongjoong had never been one to hide his thoughts. Especially not when it came to Seonghwa.

3 minutes and 46 seconds later, a soft knock made Seonghwa jump to his feet. He still felt miserable, but now at least he’d have someone to share the burden with.

When he opened the door, a whiff of oranges attacked his nostrils. A scent he once recoiled from, or pretended to, was now his favourite.

Hongjoong entered the narrow dorm, setting down the bag he had in hand on the kitchenette counter. He was smiling, but every muscle of his face and arms was tensed.

“I brought you some painkillers, candies, a heating pad, a-”

“Hongjoong…”

“I know it’s not much, but I didn’t know what to bring to help you, so-”

“Hongjoong.”

“You really scared me earlier I thought you would collapse during the presentation”

“Hongjoong?”

“I could have done it on my own. You didn’t need to… oh I guess I should’ve told y-”

Hongjoong stopped. Seonghwa was behind him, arms wrapped around his torso, head resting on his shoulder. Hongjoong wasn’t moving. He was barely even breathing.

“Can you please just… Stop talking? I don’t care about that I just want you.”

“……. Why?”

“I don’t know. But you were so sweet yesterday and I just… I need something to feel real. And you’ve always felt real.” Seonghwa smiled, his cheek mushed against Hongjoong’s shoulder “Always a bit bitchy, but always real”

He felt the vibration of Hongjoong’s laugh on his back, and it comforted him in ways he didn’t know were possible.

“Yeah, I really wasn’t the best for the last few months. I meant it when I said I was sorry”

“It’s fine. I don’t really get it, but you were never really harmful”

“Ok what is that supposed to mean?” the tone was teasing, but Seonghwa could hear the smile in his voice. His own tone was just as light.

“Well, you don’t look very threatening in the first place”

“Oh really. I can leave and take the sweets on the way, is that threatening enough?”

Seonghwa let out a whine, tightening his grip on Hongjoong’s waist.

“Nooooo, you’re here now, can’t you just indulge my dumbass for once?”

He felt his heart stutter when Hongjoong’s hand covered his own. “Relax sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere, and you’re not a dumbass, what’s it with this language”

Seonghwa muttered “You called me that a lot though”

“Hey!”

Seonghwa rose back up, a feather light giggle spilling from his lips. Hongjoong turned around to face him, face serious.

“What happened? because for you to call me something bad must have happened.”

“It’s really not much”

“Yes, it is. You said you wanted something to feel real?”

“The guy I was… I guess we were flirting. He asked for my number a month ago. And I wanted to do something… I don’t know something new, something bold. He was handsome and sweet and, and… why are you looking at me like that?”

Hongjoong was frowning, brows furrowed and mouth tight.  “No nothing… Continue.”

“Oh. He left the bar yesterday and I thought you had pushed him away or, or disgusted him from me that’s why I was so mad. But turns out, at least that’s what I think happened, he got a message from his girlfriend or whoever that was. And then this morning when I left, I was panicked because …. I don’t fucking know. But I got him some hangover soup, I was going to drop by his dorm to give it to him and… and he-”

“Breathe Seonghwa, breathe.”

Seonghwa stopped in his tracks, realising he was holding his breath. He followed Hongjoong’s lead to get oxygen back into his lungs. Inhale, exhale, repeat.

Once he had recovered some sort of calm, he finished his retelling “There was a girl inside. And they sounded very cozy. I tried calling him and he just silenced it and went back to his girl. And he…”

Seonghwa met Hongjoong’s eyes. The image of his eyes soft and attentive suddenly overlapped with his usual snarl in his mind, and Seonghwa wanted to drop in his arms crying all over again.

“He said I was no one. ‘The guy from the convenience store’. Like he didn’t spend the last month calling me beautiful, saying he liked me and he wanted to try. But I was stupid enough to say I wanted to take my time and go slow. I’m so pathetic.”

Hongjoong was silent. His eyes were fixed on Seonghwa, brows furrowed, jaw tensed. He was mad, but not at Seonghwa, oh no.

He huffed visibly trying to stay calm. “Seonghwa, listen to me very carefully for once. This isn’t your fault. It was never your fault. It could never be your fault. You’re a victim in this, okay?”

“…Okay.”

“Alright pretty boy, time to get you back on your feet. You can’t dwell on this for too long yeah? He doesn’t deserve it.”

Seonghwa nodded, tears pearling on his waterline.

Hongjoong grabbed his hand and led him to his mattress. Seonghwa’s studio wasn’t really spacious, but it was comfy. The kitchenette was nestled in a corner, not too far from the door, but not too close either. A partition angling to form the desk separated the sleeping area and the small bathroom from the rest. A large window poured the sunlight in, with a nice view on the city.

Once he was down on the mattress, Hongjoong brought him some water and painkillers.

“I’m fine”

“My ass. You’re not. Just take them.”

Seonghwa didn’t argue and took the painkillers. He was too tired for this.

“Good boy”

Seonghwa couldn’t hold back his laugh “Why do you even say that?”

Hongjoong responded with a fond smile, ruffling his hair. “Cause you are.”

“I mean, before, that’s the third time you’ve said that”

Hongjoong shot him a cocky glance over his shoulder “You kept count?”

“Stop fucking around Kim, answer me. And all the teasing and taunting too”

Hongjoong laughed, getting Seonghwa some gimbap to eat. “I guess you were just so fun to tease. You’re dangerously cute when you’re mad. It just came out naturally.”

“So what, you just had a crush on me?” replied Seonghwa, his mouth full.

“hmm… I don’t know about a crush” Hongjoong turned to him, still fumbling with the plastic bag “But I enjoyed your company much more than you did mine. I just… suck at dealing with people” Hongjoong stepped closer again, a pack of strawberry flavoured candies in hand. He handed it for Seonghwa to help himself. But now Seonghwa felt better, and much more in the mood. “Mmno, my body’s still too sore. Feed me?”

Hongjoong’s brow shot up, “Oh really? I have to do everything for you. Pretty boy is too weak to feed himself mh?”

“Well who’s fault is that in the first place?”

Hongjoong smiled, the same smile as last night. Seonghwa felt a shiver running down his spine. He didn’t mistake it for disgust this time.

Instead of feeding Seonghwa, Hongjoong took a candy, never breaking eye contact with Seonghwa, and kneeled in front of him, hands on his thighs. “Come and get it, sweetheart” and boy did he look tempting. Orange hair messy, long lashes caught on the last rays of sunlight, piercing glinting against the pink candy. Seonghwa smiled, sliding his hands on Hongjoong’s chest. He leaned in, trying half-heartedly to get the candy from between his teeth. Hongjoong let the candy roll back on his tongue. And of course, Seonghwa still had to try and take it.

When they parted, Seonghwa was chewing the candy, they were both panting, and Hongjoong had the smuggest smile on his face. His tongue was playing with his piercing again. And once again, it made seonghwa’s stomach twist deliciously.

And this time, he was completely sober when he asked, “Do you still want to try and prove me wrong?”

“Aww, last night wasn’t enough, you still think I can’t do better than the other fucking playboy?”

Seonghwa pouted, hitting his chest just for the sake of it. “I didn’t say that. But I mean we were drunk, I don’t really remember. Soooo… Maybe I need a reminder”

Hongjoong considered him, a teasing light dancing in his eyes. Without another word he leaned in on Seonghwa’s lips, claiming them again and again. Like he was trying to erase Ian’s memory simply by kissing him. And Seonghwa was starting to think he would succeed, by the end of it, he had trouble remembering his own name.  But Hongjoong wasn’t letting up, hands sliding up to his sides, slowly pushing him down to lie on the mattress. His lips were growing hungrier by the second, tongue exploring, tasting and hunting the remains of strawberry. He tore his mouth away from his, to trail a burning, damp path starting from Seonghwa’s jaw. Seonghwa was drowning in the sensation of Hongjoong’s piercing on his lips, his neck, his collarbone… And God he never wanted to surface. Before he knew it, their clothes were abandoned on the floor, and his hands found their rightful place on Hongjoong’s bare chest and in his hair. His weren’t any better, kneading and grazing   Seonghwa’s smooth sun-kissed skin, dragging soft sounds out of his lips. Hongjoong drank every single one of them, letting them die in his own mouth.

And once again, this time completely sober, Seonghwa fell asleep surrounded in warmth and oranges and the sweet, old tobacco Hongjoong always smelled of.

༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶ ༶

When Seonghwa stirred awake, he was alone. Hongjoong had left the night before, poor guy was drowned in work and still had taken the time to come and comfort Seonghwa. He had cleaned and dressed him up, tucked him in his (clean) covers, and silently stepped out, not without slipping him a “Sweet dreams, sweetheart”

Now, curled up in his blanket, safe from any manipulative prick, Seonghwa felt a smile crawling on his face. Before he could stop it, he was giggling like a high schooler in love, covering his face in his hands. As the events of the night before replayed behind his eyelids, Seonghwa felt himself melting in the mattress all over again.

He was so far gone, rolling in his bed, kicking his feet, when a vibration close to his ear dragged him out of his… whatever that was. When he saw the name in the screen, Seonghwa surprised himself again. He had never thought he would be able to move this fast. He almost jumped on his knees, the blanket pooling around his lap, and launched his arm to grab his phone. The device in hand, Seonghwa opened the notification with shaky hands.

Kim Hongjoong

Good morning!

Breakfast is ready

It’s takeout I promise

On the table

Seonghwa barely had time to recover, three dancing little dots appeared on the screen. He held his breath in anticipation, heart thudding hard.

Kim Hongjoong

Last night was amazing

take it easy today alr?

Seonghwa collapsed back in his pillow, hysterically squealing, his feet kicking the mattress like it owned them money. Oh, he was gone, gone for the designer. Like impossibly down bad. Collecting himself, he grabbed his phone and hesitated for 15 minutes before answering.

You

• Yes yes of course I will thx
• It really was 😊
• Thank you for breakfast, you didn’t have to <3

The response came in immediately

Kim Hongjoong

• Nope, I just wanted to spoil you,
• And apologise for leaving you
• Besides I didn’t exactly go easy on you
• Gotta go, ttyl sweetheart

Seonghwa felt his heart stutter in his chest at the messages, and it only got worse when he saw a little red heart popping under his ‘It really was’.

And apparently, a dolphin had decided to come and haunt him, he couldn’t stop giggling and squealing, his head buried in a pillow. Once he was finally able to stand without jumping on the ball of his feet, he headed for the kitchenette and was delighted to find kimchi neatly set on the table and soybean paste soup on low heat. A cup of coffee somehow still steaming in the coffee machine, patiently waiting for him.

Seonghwa had accidently bagged the greenest of green flags he had ever dated.

And he almost got played. Well, damn, talk about a turn of events.

Smile so large it hurt his cheeks, seonghwa ate his fill, savoured his perfect coffee, and lazily got dressed. The day was still fresh; he had all the time in the world before his shift. A time he spent recalling the night before and treating himself. Emotional recovery, sue him. He opted for a light pink blouse and white flowy pants, a large black belt for some contrast. And his hair half up, specifically because Ian had once said it didn’t suit him.

Purse complete and sunglasses on, time to head out. The walk was short, the sun bright out, this was really a good day.

Seonghwa was still riding on his morning glow, humming and dancing in miniature to some girl group music, when the door opened with a cheerful chime.

“Good morning! What can I do-”

Seonghwa stilled, words trapped in his throat.

Oh, the asshole.

Ian was standing in the doorway; a cigarette stuck between his lips. Lit, of course. His face the embodiment of sufficient. Like Seonghwa belonged to him. Well, he was in for a surprise.

Remember Seonghwa’s murderous impulses? Well, they were back on full force, and this time turned to this sweet, handsome, kind, fucking playboy. Seonghwa swallowed down his inner wolf’s urges (an omega, most likely) to take on a light, playful tone.

“Where’s your girlfriend?”

“She’s away right now, a dance class or something, so I thought I’d-”

His smile dropped, realization probably hitting. Fuck, he was so slow.

It genuinely took every millilitre of his self-control for Seonghwa not to drop to the ground maniacally laughing, Maleficent style. Gotcha motherfucker, mwahahaha.

“Did you stalk me??”

Seonghwa’s eyebrows Shot up so fast he thought they might have left his forehead to hit the ceiling. The audacity.

“Oh, so I’m the one to blame?”

“How else would you know”

Seonghwa was once again silently blessing Hongjoong for forging his self-control.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I came to your place because Mujin told me where you lived, because I was worried about last night. Only to find Mr. I’m-single-I-promise wasn’t so single after all, but now you admit with you whole chest she’s your girlfriend? Not a fling or an ex, your fucking girlfriend”

Ian hadn’t run out of audacity yet, apparently, he had the nerve to sigh. Like Seonghwa was being dramatic.

“Look, I know I should’ve been honest. But you were so fucking frustrating, letting me do everything (if Seonghwa remembered correctly, Ian had been the one asking for his number.) And I was going to dump her anyway, she’s getting too clingy (It’s been a month, Ian.)” His voice grew softer, sweeter. Seonghwa had to invoke all his meditation sessions not to retch or punch him. Or both. “I meant everything I’ve said, I really like you. But you kept wanting to take it slow, and I have needs, beautiful, you know?” Yeah no, okay. He was going to throw up. “Can’t you just be reasonable and forget it? I’ll only be focusing on you this time, I promise.”

Seonghwa had enough. By the time Ian was done, his phone was on his ear, a sexy, adorably sleepy voice on the other end. “Mmmyeah? You good sweetheart?”

Ian frowned. “Who are you calling?”

Seonghwa gloriously ignored his question and smiled. “Hey babe, sorry to wake you up, I know you need sleep, but could you drop by the store? I have a VERY annoying customer, he’s getting weird”

“Babe?” Ian and Hongjoong had spoken at the exact same time, one shocked, the surprised. The latter continued “Wait, annoying customer? Like the one you told me about yesterday?”

“The one I told you about yesterday”

Seonghwa heard rustling on the other end, Hongjoong’s voice was clearly more awake. “I’ll be here in te- no five. Give me five minutes.” Then lower, so only Seonghwa could hear, “Do you want me to stay with you?” Seonghwa considered it. He was feeling much calmer with Hongjoong on the phone. “That’d be great, thanks babe.” He could hear the other running when he answered. “Alright. I’m out, I’ll be there before you know it”

Meanwhile, Seonghwa was admiring a fuming Ian. He had finally shut up, and was now opening and closing his mouth, without any words getting out. Seonghwa suddenly had the image of a pufferfish and had to bite back a laugh. Some movement caught his eye behind Ian. A couple was heading to the counter. “Babe, I have some customers to take care off, I’m putting you on speaker, okay?” “Sure, go ahead!” came Hongjoong’s panting response. Seonghwa put his phone down and looked expectantly at Ian, waiting for him to step aside. And surprisingly he did. He didn’t leave though, probably curious as to who was seonghwa’s “babe”. Seonghwa took care of the couple, customer service smile plastered on his face, but mentally tip-toe dancing hearing Hongjoong running closer. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, sweetheart, I’m almost there”

“You can take it easy, he’s really not worth you getting tired”

“He’s bothering you, that’s enough reason for me”

Honking echoed through the phone “Hey, I appreciate you running to me, but be careful!”

“I can’t help it, you’re incredibly distracting even on the phone. You know that?”

Seonghwa couldn’t help a blushing smile to bloom on his face. “Alright then. I’m hanging up, you focus on staying alive”

Hongjoong sighed, “Alright, alright, I’m almost there anyway. See you in… like 30 seconds”

Seonghwa giggled a “Yeah okay” before hanging up. Ian was still silent. Until he wasn’t.

“And you accuse me of playing you. Who the fuck was that?”

“That was your replacement after being an asshole of a guy”

“Yeah okay, whatever. You’ll regret me. You said yourself I was your type”

Seonghwa’s eyes picked up and orange flash close to the door. He smiled. Perfect timing. Behind Ian, the bell chimed on a flushed, panting, very pissed Hongjoong. His face softened seeing Seonghwa.

Seonghwa turned to Ian, “Sorry honey, but I like my men shorter, thank you.”

Hongjoong lips tugged in an amused smirk. After a furtive wink, he approached Ian from behind. “Which would be someone like me.”

Ian flipped around, suddenly caught between Hongjoong’s grip on his collar and the cashier.

“Wait you’re the-”

“For fuck’s sake, shut it, Ian.” Spat Seonghwa, before turning to Hongjoong “Hey babe! Leave it, he’s not worth it.” After a last deadly stare, Hongjoong dropped the playboy and went around the casher to slip a hand around Seonghwa’s waist.

“Hey sweetheart” he leaned in to press a kiss right under Seonghwa’s jaw.

Ian seemed to have finally got the message, he turned on his heels, throwing a “oh fuck y’all I don’t care” when he very obviously did. And Seonghwa was delighted. He had his ideal man and better wrapped around his finger, and he was rid of the vermin. He turned to Hongjoong, enjoying their short-lived privacy before someone else stepped in. His hands came to rest on his chest, Hongjoong’s found their place on his hips.

Hongjoong’s eyebrow was already up, “babe, huh?”

Seonghwa chuckled. That was on impulse, but God was he glad the nickname had slipped out. “I had to make it believable.”

A soft, crooked smile answered him “What if I said I wanted to make it more believable?”

Seonghwa felt his heart stumble on itself “Kim Hongjoong, are you asking me out?”

The other pulled Seonghwa closer, his hands joining behind he back. His face was set in mock thought, brows furrowed, lips pouting. “Hm. Am I?” Seonghwa playfully hit his chest, smile bright, “That’s what I am asking, dumbass. Say it.”

“Very well then, what my sweetheart wants my sweetheart gets.” He cleared his throat “Seonghwa, will you do me the honour of being my boyfriend?”

Seonghwa wanted to tease him and drag his answer on. He really did. His heart had other plans, stopping in its tracks, to restart ten times faster. He screamed a yes, wrapping his arms around Hongjoong’s neck. The other let out a sigh of relief, effortlessly lifting him up and spinning the both of them, in the cramped space behind the counter. When he set seonghwa back down, he pulled back slightly, just enough to look at him. Seonghwa was softly giggling in his arms “Did you think I’d say no??”

“Well, I wasn’t 100% sure, given how much of an idiot I have been”

Unrestrained laughter spilled from Seonghwa’s lips, before being muffled by Hongjoong’s lips, coming to meet his in a sweet kiss overflowing in delight.

And Seonghwa was so, so happy to be kissing a guy he used to think he’d end up killing one day.  

Okay, maybe that was a little dramatic.