Chapter Text
Plagg makes a disgusted face as Tikki eagerly looks for the newest update from the author known as Private Investigator Aubergine
"I will never understand your fascination with Aubergine's work. It's gross. If I wanted to watch some gross romance, I'd watch my cat wax poetic about your bug. At least i can tease him!"
Tikki looks at Plagg annoyed "It is your fault, don't complain.You opened the door to this chaos. You gotta take the good with the bad. Besides, I don't judge your preferences!"
Plagg shrugs "I can't help that I'm a trendsetter. Besides I'd rather not think of Hawkmoth in any way that isn't making fun of him."
Tikki nods , "it's true but this version of Hawkmoth is so unlike what we know of him, it's almost like it's a diffrent person. Besides, whoever Aubergine is, they have such a way with words. It's so beautiful."
Plagg rolls his eyes, "it's full of fancy smamcy filler."
"Oh hush you!"
Plagg lays on his back and lazily looks at Tikki as she reads. He notices a small jump and then she laughs "Oh my goodness! Plagg ! You'll get a kick out of this!"
Plagg groans as he has to move from his spot. He doesn't regret it when he sees the new "file"
Case File 3
Summary of report:Target Hawkmoth has been seen with new possible suitor, a man only identified as The Collector
Plagg begins to howl with laughter. "Oh, if Hawkmoth doesn't rage, Gabe sure will"
Tikki looks at him confused "Gabe?"
"I refuse to call him Gabriel. That implies I respect him. I know being referred to so casually would make him mad. It gives me great joy to imagine him so enraged." There Is a smug grin on Plagg's face as he said it, "one of my greatest pleasures in life is messing with that over grown,emotionally constipated candy cane.'
Tikki let's out an undignified snort, "Oh my goodness. I have never heard him been called that!"
"I vote we exclusively refer to him like that. It'd be hilarious." Plagg grins evily
Tikki attempts to scold him about how rude he's being but she can't exactly say he's wrong.
She knows Marinette thinks of him as a not great father but a brilliant artist but Tikki never liked the guy. Something about him did not pass what the kids would call a vibe check. Honestly though, he did look like a candy cane, Plagg was not lying about that.
Plagg watches as Tikki is thinking , " You know i'm right, Now you are seriously thinking about it. Good."
They sit in silence a bit as Tikki reads the new update. After she finishes, she tells him about the newest chapter.
"Ya know, " he starts as Tikki finishes her review, "It would be so ironic if Gabe was a cheater, since he is so obsessed with his late wife. " Plagg stops mid sentence and remembers some thing and laughs " Hey do you remember when I messed with Gabe that time? The one where I messed with his electronics?"
Tikki nods, How could she forget. He talked about it for months and it led to something similar happening to Lila a while back.
"I forgot how, but Adrien came to the conclusion that his dad was bi for Hawkmoth by the end of it. Maybe old Gabey boy gives off bi energy and maybe Adrien was catching on to something after all! If I see any Hawkmoth paintings in his Gabe Cave ..."
"You are ridiculous, you know that right?"
"I never pretended I wasn't ~"
A silent alarm lit up the screen
"Time for you to return to Pigtails, Sugarcube. See you tommorrow! Same Backpack, same time."
"Bye ya old stinky sock! Be good!"
"Nah, that's not fun" he said with a grin. Tikki rolls her eyes but still gives him a smile as she leaves.
~~~
Tikki looked at her holder who was just playing on her computer. Marinette had some rare free time as they waited for dinner. Today was uncharacteristically quiet. Light homework and no akuma made Marinette a very happy girl.
It was a pity that Tikki was instead nervous.
It was now or never. She was going to tell Marinette what she had done. She wished she could say "Plagg peer pressured me into making an account on Moth Monthly" but she didn't want to give Marinette even a hint to Chat Noir's identity.
Tikki would like to keep their identities a secret as long as possible.
"It was now or never." Tikki reminded herself as she turns to Marinette.
"I made an account on Moth Monthly.' Tikki announced
Marinette's head whips toward Tikki in shock, "What? Why?"
Tikki tries to look nonchalant, "I was..
Curious."
"About what exactly...and how...oh gosh please don't tell me you did it on my phone! If Alya sees Moth Monthly on my phone..."
Tikki pats her holder's cheek, "Don't worry Marinette, no Moth Monthly was open on your phone...on your computer, yes, but not your phone."
"Tikkiiii , whyyyy. " Marinette whines childishly, "Unless you are planning to write something..."
Tikki looks awkward.
"Tikki....are you going to write something...it better not be smut! I refuse to read that , especially of Hawkmoth. "
"NO! I would never write that...I don't even have a concept of that! I don't know what I will write yet but....I want to try writing."
Marinette looks at her kwami with a look she can not identify and sighs.
"I guess, as long as it's not linked to any side of me I guess it's fine."
"I'll be careful, don't worry."
~~~
It was around one in the morning when someone decided it was time to finially drag her way too wired partner to bed.
"You know, staying up so late is not good for your health." Said the woman , standing in a doorway to a home office. She was wearing her pajamas and was clearly ready for bed.
In front of her is a small desk where another woman was hunched over, typing away. She was still in her day clothes and her once tight bun was now loose and messy as she hadn't left since she sat down. She didn't even turn around to address the newcomer.
"I know, i know! but I'm having too much fun putting my literature degree to excellent use!"
"By writing smut about a super villian and some of his akumas?"
"You're making it sound like it isn't the most elegant and well written smut you ever read! Besides i prefer to call it erotica. It sounds classier"
There is a snort, "still its smut, almost a bodice ripper, but fancy! If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck .. it's a duck."
"I'd like to say it's more inspired than a bodice ripper....and besides everything was consenting so technically it's not a bodice ripper.... although ...." she shakes her head , "maybe under another alias... I am a private Investigator after all." She giggles
"How long will you continue these "Investigator reports" of yours?"
"There are still a few bad parents I need to punish in my own way."
"And mortify their kid?"
"I highly doubt she would even read it. She rather do anything else than read. I highly doubt the Mayor would even mention it to her."
"And the Collector's kid? Adrien right? The perfume model? How did he handle it?"
"He doesn't engage with Moth Monthly. I heard him talking to his friends about how he rather not read it especially since Alya hates the site."
"Alya?"
"She runs the Ladyblog."
"Oh her! Yea yea. I remember her now. She is one of the ones you are naming one of your ulcers after!" There is a laugh.
"Yes, she will be the death of me, I'm sure. Well at least she is engaged in writing, I am seeing improvement because of it."
Caline feels a pressure on her shoulder, "I know your having way too much fun writing but it's bedtime. You have work tommorrow.
"Fine you win Gisèle"
"Good, now go before I not save your work! "
"You wouldn't!"
Gisèle grins wickedly "chop chop Aubergine!"
~~~
Gabriel wants to scream as he lay in bed, looking at Moth Monthly. He knows he should ignore things and just go to sleep, but curiosity wasn't only for cats it seemed.
As he scrolled the fan fiction part of the site he noticed all the newly updated stories and in the fourth position was a story he had seen before called "The Hawkmoth Report." By Private Investigator Aubergine. He was about to skip it as it was inspired by his virtual arch nemesis, Judge Cheese. When his his eyes locked into a very familiar name in the summary and tags.
The Collector was in this story...HE was the Collector.
People were writing stories about his civilian self in love with his alter ego. Not that Aubergine would know that but still... he hated it.
How would that even work? Not like he can split in two...
It was a stupid train of thought...although an akuma that could split people's personalities might be an actual good idea.
He quickly jotted that idea down in his note application for later.
OK NOW he should sleep. Can not terrorize Paris and his employees if he is stalking Moth Monthly.