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Wifies wakes up choking. It He feels the blood blocking his airway, he feels like he's drowning. It takes too much effort for him to turn just his head to the side to spit it out, his core is hammering in his chest where a normal heart would lay.
It feels like the weight of the sky is pushing him down down down, not wanting him to get up. He gags at the metallic taste clogging his throat as he coughs and coughs, and blood flows where it should be impossible because Wifies isn't human.
His normally perfect vision is swimming, black dots obstructing him from seeing anything, and everything hurts. Blood spills from his lips yet again, the rest of it falling in a steady rhythm of drip drip drip on pristine white floors of what could be described as a hospital room, but he knows otherwise.
Fuck.
Wifies is so absolutely fucked. He had given everything to escape from the lab, and still it had taken Kenadian and Wato's help to manage it, and he was finally finally free to live as he wished so how in the world is he back here again?
He has nothing to his name anymore. Not the trust his creator had given him the first time around, no friends, no communicator, no name, no nothing.
Wifies is back to being Clone 1108. How hilarious. He had given everything only to end up with nothing.
He's yet again just a number, in a long never ending list of them.
He can still remember burning. The dizzying heat of the feeling of TNT kissing his forehead, debris embracing him.
At least he had the spyglass.
He had run to it, as fast as he could, before it would despawn. All he could think about were their memories, their promise. The spyglass was the only thing he hasn't accounted for Parrot having.
He couldn't let it despawn. It was too dear to his heart. And Wifies, Director and before, had always been a stupid, stupid, fool.
He just couldn't. He couldn't bear to see their promise thrown away.
He had clutched it tight, hugging it to his body in an effort to shield it. He could have ran instead, ran after Parrot. Escaped with his life intact, but he had chosen otherwise. He knew it would only hurt the one person he swore to protect, more.
He knew Parrot didn't need him anymore.
He hopes Parrot made it out safe. Hopes Parrot will succeed in his future plans. He hopes that his life wasn't spent in vain.
As sick as it is to admit, Wifies selfishly wishes that Parrot never forgets him. Hopes that in every flower Parrot sees, he is reminded of the time they spent doing Clownpierce’s scavenger hunt, searching for a red poppy in a sea of flowers.
He hopes that Parrot is reminded of him every time he walks on the server.
… Wifies hates to admit it, but he was scared.
A part of him was screaming to follow Parrot out, to save himself, but Wifies knew he wasn't needed, so there was no point for him to try. The spyglass had mattered more.
Besides, the spyglass was Parrot's promise that he wouldn't be alone, wasn't it? As long as Wifies held the spyglass, everything would be alright, because Parrot said so. And Wifies trusted Parrot.
Wifies had never wanted to die alone. He always knew it was a possibility, but with befriending Kenadian, Wato, and then Parrot, he had believed that he would be surrounded by at least one of them.
He knows that no matter how much Parrot cared for him, he had cut too deep, too fast, and he just knew that the avian hadn't bothered to stick nearby to hear his goodbye.
To hear his muttered apologise.
To hear his final words.
(“For what it's worth, Parrot, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for everything to go so wrong, nothing was ever meant to be this way. I just wanted to keep you safe.
I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to put you in this position, I never wanted to be the reason you were hurting.
… I'm sorry, Parrot, I truly am. Perhaps I should have cherished the moments we shared together rather than ripping them to shreds.
… I'm scared, Parrot. Have I ever told you? That I've always been afraid of dying? Of being left alone? Of spending my life trying to find a purpose, and dying without it, all alone?
But you, Parrot, you are my purpose. I never knew what it meant to be human before you. If you were to be the moon Parrot, then I would be the waves. Forever chasing after you. If you are the sun, then I would look at you knowing I would be slowly going blind, but I would look at you knowing I got to look at perfection once in my meaningless life.
Meaningless, huh? You were my meaning Parrot.
Everything I've done has always been for you. I might've executed my actions wrong, or spoken them in the wrong way, but they always were full of good intentions.
I guess it is true that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I know you're probably already long gone by now, but I would like to think that you're listening.
I know I'm asking too much of you, especially when I know this won't be heard by anyone but the server and I, but do you mind coming back someday? I don't want to be alone forever, Parrot.
You can curse at me, hate me, yell at me, but please, don't forget and leave me alone.
I'm sorry, I really am. I hope the next life treats us better. That the circumstances are different, and we never end up this way.
Goodbye, Parrot.”)
The world was always too cruel for him to make sense of, and Wifies understands cruelty. Has first hand experience of what cruelty entails, actually.
Wifies would never even be buried. Because he isn't allowed to die, because his creator forbade it somehow, and so he is back at the lab, only his guilt to keep him company.
But the server was hardcore. Unstable was a hardcore server, so it makes no sense how Wifies is here right now, back where it all started, but he knows better than to question his creator. This, too, he learnt the hard way.
With a pained grunt, he pushes himself up to a seated position, his body protesting. His head pulses to the rhythm of his core, and he nearly passes out again.
Wifies needs to escape. After getting a taste of freedom, he can't fathom surviving without a sip of it again. Freedom is a drug he's addicted to, yet he had no issue chaining himself to Parrot instead of leaving like he had many opportunities to do so.
He always cared far too much for the avian than he had ever admitted.
Parrot never made it any easier for him, either. Sweet, selfless, sacrificial Parrot, always willing to give away pieces of himself away if it meant saving just one more life.
Sweet, selfless, sacrificial Parrot, who had no idea where his own limits were, who didn't know how to stop, to take a minute for himself without throwing himself at the next large or miniscule problem.
Sweet, selfless, sacrificial Parrot who never listened when Wifies pleaded and begged for him to be just a little selfish. To take something for himself, to not give himself to a world that he didn't owe anything to, to not break himself for a world that would give him no thanks.
Sweet, sweet Parrot, who made it so hard for Wifies to leave.
After all, he only stayed on the server for Parrot. He would have left way earlier, had the macaw not looked at him, and offered another adventure, with such cheerful eyes.
Sweet, darling Parrot whose light gradually dimmed and dimmed as the server chipped and ate bits and pieces of him until all there was left was rotten flesh and dull eyes.
The Mafia had been relentless, and Parrot had always cared far too much.
And then Wifies had to drive the knife in harder, twisting it so it would cut deep enough.
Perhaps the director had been too cruel on the bird, no, he knows it was, but Wifies needed to keep him safe.
Parrot never cared for himself, so someone had to, right?
… Wifies can still feel the blood of all the lives he had taken staining his hands.
He laughs and laughs. What a faulty thing his creator has made.
And freedom is so far away from his clutches it's useless to even try.
What does he even gain by attaining his freedom again? There is no Parrot waiting on the other side to embrace him like when he was freed from the chunk ban.
There is no Kenadian or Wato to play escape rooms and dissect puzzles with.
It's just Wifies, a white room, machinery, and his guilt eating at him from the inside like maggots have infested his skin and find him particularly delicious.
He will drown here. There is no saviour coming to get him.
He lays back down, and sleeps.
He hopes he won't wake up, or that his creator puts him out of his misery.