Chapter Text
“I am a Jedi.”
You whispered the words to the face staring back at you from the mirror.
“I am a Jedi.”
You tried not to focus on how pale you looked or the fear that was evident in your eyes as you repeated your mantra again and again.
“I am a Jedi, and Jedi have no fear.”
In all actuality, you were not a Jedi Knight. You were still in training – just a young Padawan learner, evidenced by the braid that hung separately from the tight chignon in which the rest of your hair was pulled back. However, saying the words out loud helped you to center yourself, and you began to feel something akin to confidence welling up within you. You smoothed your robes as a messenger knocked on the door of your quarters to alert you that the time had come for your meeting with the Jedi High Council.
You tried to keep your mind on putting one foot in front of the other instead of what might await you in the Jedi Temple. The Padawan life was all you had ever known. You had been brought to Coruscant immediately following your birth. You had left your family to begin your training, your ambition growing as you aged. The only thing you wanted in life was to become a Jedi Knight.
Finally, you found yourself standing before the door to your fate. What was going to happen to you when you went before the Council? There was no way of knowing what decision they would reach. You were terrified. You tried to quell your feelings because you knew that fear led to the dark side, but the churning in your stomach refused to cease.
I am a Jedi, you told yourself silently.
You heard your name being called, but you remain rooted to the spot until a Jedi Knight guarding the Temple opened the door for you and gave you a reassuring smile. You tried to look confident as you strode into the room before the High Council, knowing they could sense your lack of ease. When you reached the center of the room, your eyes darted to the Master Jedi that surrounded you in a circle, unsure of where to look. Your eyes finally settled on Mace Windu when he began to speak.
“Padawan learner, Y/N,” he said, his voice commanding, “you have been brought before the Jedi Council to determine the fate of your future training. The unfortunate death of your Jedi Master, Plouro Nieshec, is most regrettable, but a decision must be made about what is to come next for you. Do you understand?”
“I understand Master Windu,” you stated, trying to keep your voice steady.
Master Yoda was the next one to speak up. “Fear I sense in you, young Padawan. Remember that fear leads to the dark side.” With a smile, he added, “Nothing to fear is there. There is still a long future ahead for you. A Jedi Knight you may yet be.”
You heaved a sigh of relief. Your biggest worry was that the death of your Master might result in your expulsion from the Jedi Order. It wasn’t the most sensible fear, you knew, but that didn’t make it any less real. Now that that concern had been eliminated, though, your apprehension had almost completely disappeared.
“The issue we must discuss today is of who you will apprentice with from this point forward,” Windu explained. “If you choose to accept a new Jedi Master, your training will continue. The Council has already selected the Jedi whom it believes is best suited to teach you in the ways of the Force. If you choose not to accept a new Master, your training will be brought to an end. What is your decision, Padawan?”
“I choose to accept a new Jedi Master and continue my training,” you said. There wasn’t even any need to think the question over. To refuse the Council’s choice of a Master would be to throw away your entire life’s work.
“Very well,” Master Windu continued. “The Jedi whom the Council has selected to take you on as an apprentice is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.”
Obi-Wan Kenobi? You had never heard that name before. You stared at your feet, feeling indignation at the thought that they would place you, who had trained with one of the greatest Jedi of the age, with someone whose name didn’t hold an ounce of familiarity.
A member of the Council called out and the door to the chamber swung open. You looked up when you heard footsteps approaching your side and caught a glimpse of a young man who took his place next to you in the center of the room. Was this Master Kenobi? His youth only added to the insult. He looked as if his Padawan braid had just been cut off. You tried your best to hide your disappointment as Mace Windu began speaking to the young man.
“Obi-Wan Kenobi, you have trained extensively and served the Galaxy well as a Jedi Knight. Your loyalty to the Council and to the Jedi Code are commendable. I can think of no better person to train this young Padawan. However, you have never had a responsibility such as this before. By accepting the position of Jedi Master and taking on an apprentice, you will hold this girl’s future in your hands. This decision is not to be taken lightly. Do you understand?”
“I understand,” the young man stated, “and I accept.”
“Very well then. You are to begin training immediately. Master Kenobi and Apprentice Y/N, you are dismissed.”
Outside of the chamber where the Council was still in session, your new Jedi Master looked at you for the first time, studying you intently in silence. He seemed to be looking directly into your mind, and his stare made you uncomfortable.
“I sense your apprehension, young apprentice,” Master Kenobi finally said. “You do not wish for me to be your Master.”
You said nothing. He had not asked a question but rather made a statement of fact, which you simply decided not to acknowledge.
“Are you willing to tell my why this is so?” he asked patiently.
I am a Jedi, you mentally reminded yourself in order to avoid hurling an insult.
“I would rather not discuss such matters with you, Master.” You said the final word through gritted teeth. You knew your anger had no justification, but that did not make it any less real.
“Well then, young Padawan, let us begin your training.”