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Thomas smiled to himself as he stood in the doorway to the boot room, drawn by the familiar sound of disgruntled muttering.
"Shouldn't Alfred be doing that?" he asked.
Jimmy scoffed. "Alfred," he said, glaring at the shoe in his hand that he was scrubbing violently, "is in bed with a cold. Lazy git." He put the shoe down with a sigh and looked over at Thomas, his eyes softening. "Are you busy?"
Thomas shrugged. "Not at the moment."
"Come here. And close the door."
Thomas raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told. He walked over and took a seat next to Jimmy. "I hope you're not expecting me to--"
The kiss was so sudden, and so completely unexpected, that for a moment Thomas found himself unable to do anything but stare at Jimmy's blurry face.
Thomas's body caught on to what was happening before his brain did, his eyes falling shut of their own accord, his head tilting to deepen the kiss.
He was swiftly rewarded with Jimmy's tongue in his mouth and warm, eager hands came up to stroke his hair, his neck, his jaw, his shoulders...
And then, the kiss ended as abruptly as it had started.
Jimmy pulled away with a gasp, and stared in what could only be described as horror at his own hands caressing Thomas's heaving chest.
"Oh," Jimmy breathed, ripping his hands away and nearly tripping over his chair as he backed away. "Oh god."
"Jimmy?" Thomas frowned. "What's--"
"I'm not... I-I didn't..." Jimmy shook his head. "I'm sorry."
"Wait! Please, Jimmy, don't..."
Jimmy fled, slamming the door behind him, leaving Thomas with a pile of dirty shoes and a broken heart.
*
Thomas did his best to avoid Jimmy for the rest of the day.
It wasn't hard, since Jimmy was avoiding him as well, which became apparent when they both happened to walk into the kitchen at the same time from different directions, and Jimmy jumped, turned around and ran off. Again.
Thomas wanted to curl up into a ball and cry.
*
That evening, Mrs Hughes sought him out as he hid in the servants' courtyard, just about to light his third cigarette.
Luckily, Thomas had spent the last few hours pushing his feelings down and covering them up with rage, so at least Mrs Hughes didn't have to catch him sobbing on the floor a second time.
Small mercies.
"Ah, there you are, Mr Barrow. Are you coming in for dinner, or were you planning on staying out here all night?"
"Actually," Thomas said, keeping his eyes fixed on the unlit cigarette between his fingers, "I'm not feeling well, so I think I'll just go straight to bed."
"I see," said Mrs Hughes. "I'll ask James to take a tray up for you--"
"No!"
Mrs Hughes raised a knowing eyebrow.
"Sorry, Mrs Hughes. I'm just not" - Thomas's stomach rumbled loudly - "hungry."
Mrs Hughes moved closer and put her hand on Thomas's shoulder. "What's going on, Mr Barrow?" she asked gently. "You've been acting strange all day."
"I don't know, Mrs Hughes." Thomas sighed. "I don't know."
*
Thomas was just about to change into his pyjamas when he became aware of footsteps approaching his door.
"Yes?" he said when the knock came, buttoning his shirt back up as the door opened.
He looked up and froze. "No."
Jimmy stepped inside and closed the door. "I just want to--"
"Get out."
Jimmy blinked. "But--"
"I don't want to hear it, Jimmy," Thomas said through gritted teeth. "Just go."
Jimmy crossed his arms over his chest. "No."
Thomas sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Jimmy, I don't want your apology or... whatever this is."
"Well, good," Jimmy growled, "because I didn't come here to apologise! I mean, I did, but not for the..." He took a breath and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for running off."
"Oh."
"And I want to explain," Jimmy continued. "But it's going to sound a bit... stupid."
Thomas frowned. "Go on."
"Right." Jimmy cleared his throat again and lowered his gaze to the floor. "I may have panicked a bit, because..."
Thomas nodded expectantly. "Because?"
"Because it sort of dawned on me that you're a man."
"You're right, that does sound stupid," Thomas agreed after a beat.
Jimmy raised his head to glare at him. "What I'm trying to say is that ever since I started to, um, you know... you've just been Thomas. Don't you see?"
Thomas cocked his head to the side. "Not really."
Jimmy took a breath. "I fell in love with Thomas. My best mate," he explained. "I sort of forgot about the whole... man aspect. But then, I touched you. And I panicked."
"I see," Thomas said, a warm feeling of hope blossoming in his chest as he watched Jimmy squirm. "Well, I'm still Thomas, your best mate. And I'm in love with you too, if that helps."
"Yeah?" Jimmy said, smiling adorably.
"Of course I am, silly boy," Thomas huffed. "But I'll understand if you want to take things slow. If this is too much for you--"
For the second time that day, Thomas was interrupted by Jimmy's lips.
"I've taken all the time I need," Jimmy said firmly. "I want you, Thomas. You're a man, and I want you."
Thomas laughed softly and wrapped his arms around Jimmy's waist. "You're ridiculous."
The next kiss, initiated by Thomas, was sweet and slow, and made Jimmy melt into his embrace with a sigh of contentment.
*
When they tumbled into bed, Thomas didn't really expect Jimmy to want to take things any further than kissing. And perhaps some light groping.
So he was surprised when Jimmy pushed him onto his back and started to unbutton his trousers, pausing at the last button to ask, "Is this okay?"
Thomas nodded, and lifted his hips so that Jimmy could pull down his trousers and pants.
Jimmy took one look at Thomas's erect cock and froze, his eyes widening. Thomas was just about to ask if he was all right, when he suddenly let out a slightly hysterical giggle.
"Not quite the reaction I was hoping for," Thomas muttered, and went to pull his trousers back up.
"No, wait!" Jimmy said, grabbing Thomas's wrists to stop him. "I just need a moment."
"What for? Did you forget that I'm a man, again?"
"No." Jimmy tilted his head up to meet Thomas's gaze. "You're, um, bigger than I expected," he confessed.
"Oh. Is that... bad?"
"No, it's good. It looks good." Jimmy licked his lips. "Really good."
"Thanks," Thomas said, feeling awkward despite the compliment. "So, can I see yours?"
Jimmy tensed. "Uh, sure. It's only fair, I suppose," he huffed nervously, and started to unbutton his own trousers. "Just don't... Don't laugh, okay?"
Thomas glared.
"I know, I know." Jimmy held up his hands in apology. "It's just... I'm not as, you know..."
"Jimmy, I promise I'm not going to laugh," Thomas said when Jimmy hesitated at the second button. "You've been with girls before, haven't you?"
Jimmy nodded.
"And did they laugh at you?"
"No, but..." Jimmy shrugged.
"Hey." Thomas sat up and covered Jimmy's hands with his own, gently stroking his knuckles with his thumbs. "You have nothing to worry about, Jimmy. I'm just happy to be with you. And I already love every part of you."
Jimmy's tense shoulders sagged with relief.
"And there's no rush," Thomas continued. "Don't ever push yourself into something you're not ready for just to please me, okay?"
Jimmy nodded. "Okay." He smiled when Thomas leant in and kissed his cheek. "Are you always this soppy with your lovers?"
"Only the really pretty ones," Thomas replied, snickering as Jimmy made a face at him. "Does it bother you?"
"No." Jimmy grinned. "But I will punch you if you ever call me pretty again."
*
Thomas lay on his side, smiling to himself as he watched Jimmy sleep.
He could hardly believe that Jimmy was here, sharing his bed, and he wanted to take it all in.
Slowly and carefully, he ran a finger along Jimmy's jaw, his neck, his collarbone, and marvelled at his beauty and all the small details of his appearance that Thomas had never had the chance to notice before.
Jimmy's skin was smooth and warm, and Thomas felt like the luckiest man in the world as he placed his hand on Jimmy's chest and felt his heart beating against his palm.
A warm hand slid up to meet Thomas's, fingers tangling as Jimmy's eyes fluttered open.
"Morning, love."
"Morning," Jimmy mumbled.
"You were smiling in your sleep."
Jimmy wrinkled his nose. "I was not."
Thomas chuckled fondly. "You were."
Jimmy rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching, and burrowed into Thomas's chest. "What time is it?" he asked, and let out a pleased hum when Thomas started to run his fingers through his hair.
"Early," Thomas replied. "Plenty of time before we need to get up."
"Good."
They fell into a comfortable silence, content to hold each other and exchange sleepy kisses, nothing between their bodies except the thin fabric of their underpants.
When Jimmy pressed his hips forward and started to grind against Thomas, it took all of Thomas's willpower to make himself pull away and ask, "Are you sure?"
Jimmy rolled his eyes. "Yes, Thomas, I'm sure," he said, and dived back in to nip at Thomas's lips.
They found their rhythm easily, hips moving together like they'd done this a thousand times.
It ended far too soon, both of them aware that they didn't have much time, but Thomas knew without a doubt that he would spend the rest of the day reliving the moment when Jimmy fell apart in his embrace with Thomas's name on his lips.
*
Thomas sat in bed, smoking his first cigarette of the day and staring unabashedly as Jimmy got up and started to dress himself in yesterday's clothes.
"Can I come back tonight?" Jimmy asked, looking over at Thomas as he shrugged on his shirt.
"Of course." Thomas smiled. "You don't need to ask, Jimmy."
Jimmy glanced down at the cigarette as Thomas brought it to his lips. "I think I'd like to suck your cock tonight," he said casually, snickering when Thomas choked and started coughing. "Or at least give it a go."
"Bloody hell, Jimmy," Thomas croaked. "You can't just say things like that!"
"Why not?" Jimmy asked, smiling innocently. "I just wanted to give you something to look forward to."
Thomas huffed and shook his head. "Just go," he said. "The others will be waking up soon."
"All right, I'm going," Jimmy said, and walked over to steal one final kiss. "I'll see you at breakfast."
As the door closed soundlessly, Thomas went to take another drag, but found that Jimmy had stolen his cigarette as well.