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I am leaning against the edge of the vessel. The end of a long bright weapon pointed right under my head, where a larval neck would be. Her claw on the trigger. I can’t make out the cousinly expression on her faceplate but her tir pseudoreceptors express unease, almost hesitating.
“Ah... Akizet I know we agreed on this but, if you don’t want to we can stop-”
“If this is not manipulation to lower my guard. Then I trust you to stay true to your words.”
I put one of my claws on her side, trying to pull her closer.
“I see…”
Slowly tracing the end of the bright weapon across my body, she pulls it aside and places the long part of the dead metal between my thighs. It makes me flinch. Raising a few tendrils. Trying my best to keep them away from causing harm. Geli gently supports my back while I grind against the dead metal. The sound of my whimpers fill the thoughtspace. It’s almost as if she finds it amusing to watch the struggle, seeing me beg for more.
Leaning in, barely closing the gap between us. Our receptors almost touch. But there is no reason to hold back. So I close the distance with my own. Now both curled with one another. It feels fuzzy yet tangible.
This warmth. So overwhelming. I can barely form a single thought. Or coherent speech. It is far too much. Did extended loneliness in the dark make me this desperate? To give in to such larval urges is already humiliating enough. Slowly I feel the pressure build up, until I can no longer take it. Shuddering from release, my tendrils wrap around her uncontrollably. The pain causes us to part our intertwined receptors a little too fast. I am no better than a beast. How could I have been so careless?
“Ow! I am fine, do not panic.”
“But you are injured.”
“Yes, yes but! It is not that bad. I will be fine.”
Barely standing, stumbling. We try to lean onto each other.
“Besides, we now both share wounds. Hehe…”
I am baffled by the tone deaf response. As if I didn’t put her life in danger. Another little death to haunt me.