Work Text:
"He was a decent man! Damn it!"
He was, he was, he was.
But, he had kissed her, he had touched her, he had trapped her. At that moment, he wanted her to be his.
She seemed not to reject him, but he had told her that he loved her and everything went to hell.
Who wanted to be loved by him?
Zack knew it, when her small hands pushed him forward and her gaze made him stop his impure actions. That gaze that penetrated his soul, the one that made him get up, ruffle his hair and curse himself with all the words his meager vocabulary knew.
Idiot, idiot, idiot.
These were the last ones that resounded in his mind, before escaping and starting to break everything in his path. Why was he going to believe that she was reciprocating him? They were just ideas he told himself to keep going. He was a fucking idiot!
Rachel's gaze was full of terror. She was scared! And damn, the worst part was when he saw her cry! And how could she not be? If he attacked her at midnight when she was asleep. That same schedule, when his lustful desires decided to escape from his "cage" and attack her.
He loved her. It didn't matter: That she was a precocious child, without emotions and with a desire to die.
He loved her. He wanted her.
And like an idiot, he had scared her. He had pushed her away. He had distanced her.
After a few days, she stopped approaching him, talking to him, asking him to kill her. He couldn't even apologize since every time he tried, she ran incredibly fast, every time he saw her, it seemed like he was seeing a ghost wandering around. One that disappeared if you wanted something from her.
He no longer heard her monotonous and boring tone of voice. Her eyes barely connected and her smile remained only engraved in his memory. Damn it!
Damn it! He had messed it up like the best!
"RAY!" she ran away from him, again, and hid under the table.
"Damn it, don't run away," he snapped, looking for her desperately. "RAY!" he shouted. "I'm sorry!" he exclaimed. "I shouldn't have touched you, kissed you, or... Talk to me for once! Damn it! I've asked for forgiveness! What the fuck else should I do? RAY!"
She remained curled up under the table.
"Come out!" he articulated loudly. "Come out, Ray... I'll kill you!" he said as if he were feeding a scared cat. "I'll kill you..." he kept saying.
"Will you kill me?" she asked, slowly coming out of her hiding place.
"There you are," he replied.
"Will you do it?" Zack made a confused gesture. "Will you kill me?"
He pursed his lips, with no intention of answering.
"Will you do it?" she asked again as fine tears slid down her cheeks.
"What the fuck? Why are you crying?" he asked, alarmed. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you, damn it!"
"Why?" her voice sounded agonizing.
"Ray?" he didn't understand a damn thing.
Shouldn't she be happy? Why did her voice sound like that? Why the fuck was she still crying? Were they tears of joy?
"Why do you want to kill me after you said you loved me?"
Ray was making that face! Fuck! Zack hated when she made that face. But, why the hell was she doing it?
"We made a vow," he snapped as if that justified everything. It was like that, damn it! "You want that," he added, seeing that she was still just as shy and sad.
Why the hell was she like that? He didn't understand a damn thing!
"I wanted it," she said. "I wanted it, before you kissed me and told me you loved me. I didn't think I was going to be reciprocated!"
"What the hell? Reciprocated?" he repeated incredulously. "That, that means... Do you love me?! But, you cried that time!"
"That was..."
"Tell the truth, I disgusted you, you pushed me, and..."
"No!" she declared quickly. "It was because I realized that the vow could no longer be fulfilled. Because I would no longer want to die after this."
Her blue eyes fixed on him, her gaze was serious, sincere. Her bandaged chest began to rise and fall, feeling her breathing increase.
"Do you love me? For real?" Smiling as if he were a small child. "Is it not a fucking joke?"
If she was joking, he would kill her!
"I love you, Zack," her pale skin flushed on her cheeks.
He didn't tell her he loved her again. He quickly shortened the steps to where she was and demonstrated it with actions, he kissed her.
After all, he was shit with words.