Chapter Text
She should’ve seen the signs, should’ve noticed, been more diligent. It was her job, it was engrained in her to notice things most people overlooked.
But she’d slipped up. Gotten complacent. Too relieved over the Becky situation finally being put to bed and focusing on the future. Her future, with the love of her life, in their home planning their wedding.
At first she had put it down to stress and dealing with the aftermath of everything they had been through.
Looking back, Lisa realised that all the warning signs had been there screaming at her to pay closer attention.
Carla was slipping away. Not physically, not emotionally, but mentally.
The jittery energy that was put down to a busy factory, the over diligence and fixation on minuscule things like colour coding paperwork and organising and reorganising the kitchen cabinets.
Scrubbing countertops until her hands were raw, the double glances at people that passed her in the street as if they were a threat.
It wasn’t anxiety, it wasn’t stress, it was worse, so much worse.
Lisa could still vividly recall her phone ringing. Sarah.
The name illuminating her screen like a wake up call that should’ve come sooner.
And when she picked up the call her world shattered.
“Lisa, it’s Sarah, look you need to come to the factory right now. It’s Carla.”
Lisa didn’t wait for an explanation, didn’t ask any questions. Before she knew what she was doing she had grabbed her jacket and keys and dashed out the door.
She white knuckled the steering wheel all the way to the Underworld factory. Her focus solely on getting to her love before the walls around them shattered completely.
When she had made it to the cobbles of Coronation Street, the tyres skidded to a halt, the door flying open as Lisa jumped from the vehicle before it had barely switched off.
Kevin and Tyrone watched on from the garage as blonde hair billowed in the wind as the local DS slammed through the entrance door of the factory. David eyeing them from across the street of Dev’s corner shop with a questioning look. Kevin just shrugged.
“Your guess is as good as mine mate.”
The silence in the factory was broken by the sound of a door crashing against the wall as Lisa rushed passed the empty work stations, Sarah the sole employee left, her arms braced across her chest in worry as her eyes pierced through the glass of the main office.
“Sarah,” Lisa rushed out as the younger woman turned to the detective with an anguished look.
“I don’t know what’s wrong. It was like she just snapped and now she won’t come out of the office, she won’t let me in. I didn’t know what else to do.”
Lisa inhaled a deep breath to try and calm her racing heart but it was no use.
Stepping towards the door, she peered inside the glass but couldn’t see the woman she was looking for. She turned towards Sarah, her hand raised.
“Stay here. Don’t come in unless I ask you to but just, keep close by,” she instructed.
Sarah just nodded as she watched Lisa gently press down on the door handle, nudging it open just a crack.
“Carla, darling, it’s Lisa, I’m coming in,” she said, waiting a beat to give Carla the opportunity to deny her.
But nothing came. Not so much as a whisper.
Until Lisa heard it, the broken tell tale signs of Carla’s tears and the muffled mutters of words she couldn’t quite make out but that seemed to come in a constant stream.
Opening the door wider, Lisa slipped inside, careful to close it behind her to protect whatever shield Carla had erected around herself.
Then she saw her. Huddled with her back tight against the corner of the wall, knees tucked tight against her chest, arms crossed over her knees with her lips pressed tightly against them as she continued to mutter incoherently. Tears streaming down her face.
And Lisa’s heart shattered into a million tiny pieces in that moment.
“Darling, it’s me, it’s Lisa,” the blonde said, her tone light and careful, afraid that one wrong inflection might cause unknowing damage.
The faint flicker of eyelashes caught Lisa’s attention first before she saw the terror that rested behind her favourite green eyes. Almost as if the demons currently infiltrating Carla’s mind were gazing out through a window mocking her with the pain they were causing.
“Lis,” a croaked voice whispered, almost as if questioning if the vision in front of her was real or not.
“Yeah, it’s me love,” Lisa replied taking another careful step forward.
Carla suddenly flinched back, pressing her self impossibly closer to the wall, arms tightening around her knees.
“No, no, you’re not real,” she cried, head shaking as she dismissed the idea that the person in front of her was really her fiancée.
“You’re like the rest of ‘em, you’re just in here,” Carla wailed as she tapped the side of her head with her finger.
A tear slipped down Lisa’s cheek as she came to a stop just close enough to be near Carla, but without encroaching on her personal space, lowering herself to her hunkers so she was eye level with the woman cowering in the corner.
“I’m not, darling I’m not. I’m right here, I came for you. Look, take my hand,” Lisa said as she offered out her left hand, the one where her engagement ring sat proudly. A symbol of her commitment to the woman she loved.
Carla’s haunted eyes roamed across Lisa’s features as if investigating the line between reality and the hell inside her head.
Slowly, her trembling hand began to inch toward the detective as if needing to know the truth but terrified of the answer. At first her fingers just grazed Lisa’s as if testing the waters.
Then, when the solid feeling of warm skin resonated with her senses, she slipped her hand further along the upward turned palm until she felt Lisa’s own hand clasp around her own, holding her steady.
“It’s real darling, I’m here,” Lisa whispered, her grip on Carla’s hand tightening ever so carefully to ground her.
“L-Lisa,” Carla stuttered, her eyes shifting to something less frightening, recognition, reality and Lisa nodded, smiling through her now flowing tears.
“Yeah, I’m here love,” Lisa said, as she inched even closer as Carla’s hands began stroking up and down her arms, trying to find purchase.
As soon as Carla’s grip turned needy, Lisa took it as her invitation and reached forward, pulling her into her arms, Carla’s head tucked beneath her chin against her chest where the brunette could feel and hear her heartbeat. Hoping it would help ground her.
“It’s alright, it’s okay,” Lisa hushed as she pressed her lips against the crown of brown hair.
Carla clung to her like her life depended on it, and in many ways it did.
Lisa was aware of Carla’s past demons and the battle she had fought before. She knew about Peter finding her on the balcony of the very building they were now in. Knew some of the horrors of what had happened to Carla when she was at her most vulnerable.
The violation of her body when her mind was at its weakest. The things she had done to survive on the streets. It struck every protective chord inside the detectives body.
The fact that Carla had been left wandering the streets with hardly anyone looking for her.
All of it terrified her.
That vulnerability was life threatening, Lisa had seen it with her own eyes on call outs. Watching someone standing on a ledge just inches from life or death.
The thought that Carla had been there before, the possibility that it could happen again, it sent shivers down her spine.
As she felt Carla trembling in her arms she knew what she had to do. She had to protect her. Before it got any worse.
Outside she could see Sarah lingering through one of the glass panels and she gestured with her hand to make a phone call. Sarah didn’t have to ask, she knew what was being asked of her as she pulled out her phone and dialled 999.
Lisa’s attention was drawn back to her fiancée as Carla began to speak.
“Sh- she was here, sh-she told me you were leaving. Th-that she’d won,” Carla cried as Lisa rocked her.
“Who darling?” Lisa asked gently, her hand stroking the length of Carla’s back.
“B-Becky.”
Lisa’s eyes screwed shut at the mere mention of her ex-wife.
The fact that she was still causing pain even now, it lit a fire inside her that was ready to burn every demon in Carla’s head to the ground.
Leaning back, Lisa cupped Carla’s face in the palm of her hand, the other bringing their joined hands do her chest, waiting until their eyes locked before she spoke.
“Carla look at me, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. Ever! Becky didn’t win, not even close. I love you, with everything I have and that’s never going to change. You and Betsy are the loves of my life and nothing will ever change that. Soulmates remember?”
Carla didn’t say anything, just gazed deep into Lisa’s eyes as if assessing if any of it was real.
“Becky, sh-she’s gone? She’s not here?” Carla asked and Lisa shook her head.
“No darling she’s not here. Becky’s locked up, remember?” She asked and Carla’s face contorted into one of anguish.
“She’s in my head Lis, they all are. Becky, Frank, Tony….” Carla trailed off.
Lisa sobbed, reminders of Carla’s tortured past mocking her to her face. Reminding her of when she hadn’t been around to protect her.
“Carla look at me. They’re not here, it’s just me, just us. They can’t hurt you, I won’t let them. I promise.”
Blue lights flickered through the darkness, breaking Carla from her self erected bubble, her entire body tensing as she scuttled back against the corner.
“No, no, NO! They’re gonna take me away,” she wailed and Lisa gulped down against the lump in her throat. Reaching for her fiancée, fearing she had lost her when she was right there in her arms.
“No sweetheart they’re not gonna take you. I won’t let them. But you need help,” she explained but Carla shook her head.
“No they’ll lock me up, they’ll put me inside with them,” Carla cried, meaning the demons in her mind and Lisa shook her head ferociously.
“No darling they won’t. I won’t let them. I’ll be right here with you, I’m not going anywhere. Wherever you go, I go. I’ll protect you I promise,” she said.
Reaching out Lisa took Carla’s hand and placed it against her chest.
“Feel that? That’s real. I’ll hold your hand every step of the way. I won’t let go.”
Outside, Sarah gently tapped on the window and Lisa glanced up, noticing the paramedics waiting outside. She held up a finger to gesture for them to give her a minute before they entered, one of the medics nodding their head.
Lisa turned back to Carla and leaned in, pressing their foreheads together, her hand tugging Carla’s impossibly closer to her chest.
“We can fight the demons together. I promise.”
Something inside Carla shifted, whether it was resignation or a will to fight Lisa wasn’t sure, but when she felt Carla nod her head, she leaned back and gestured with her head for the paramedics to enter.
“Slowly,” she instructed once they opened the door.
As they made their way inside the room, Lisa’s body language emanated protective energy. She kept close to Carla, never letting go of her hand as her fiancée shook with fear as the paramedics approached.
Lisa pressed her lips to Carla’s temple, whispering soft words of encouragement ‘it’s okay’, ‘they won’t hurt you’ ‘I’ve got you’ . Gentle reassurances that Lisa wouldn’t disappear.
One of the paramedics crouched down, keeping a safe distance so as not to startle the woman cowering in the corner.
“Carla, I’m Ted. Is it okay if I check you over?” He asked, waiting for Carla to give her consent before making any moves.
“I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want, I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he reassured, showing Carla his hands so she could see they were free of anything that could be perceived as threatening.
“Your partner can stay with you if it would make you more comfortable,” he suggested.
Carla’s gaze flickered to Lisa who smiled softly at her, nodding her head that she would be there, and Carla shifted her focus back to the medic.
“O-okay,” she whispered hoarsely.
Ted slowly approached her, taking a knee beside her with his bag whilst his colleague kept watch at a distance, not wanting to startle the women with feeling confined.
As Ted began some routine checks he asked Carla some questions.
“Have you hurt yourself in any way?” He asked and Carla seemed startled by the question.
Ted raised his hand to placate her.
“I’m not here to judge love, I just need to know so I can help,” he said.
Carla shook her head, no.
Lisa heaved out a relieved sigh. She had checked Carla over briefly when she had walked in but she was so focused on reaching her she hadn’t had time to assess her properly.
“Blood pressure is sky high, she’s dehydrated, we need to get her to a hospital so we can get her checked over properly,” Ted told his colleague as he jotted down notes.
He turned to Lisa.
“We’ll need to take her in for a proper assessment. You can come with her,” he said and Lisa heard heartedly nodded. As if she would ever leave Carla’s side. Even if they had protested she would’ve barged her way into the back of the ambulance. She turned to Carla.
“Darling, we need to go to the hospital,” Lisa said, her voice soft as she spoke. Carla began to sob again.
“No! They’ll take me away, they’ll lock me up!”
Lisa gripped Carla’s hand tightly, her forehead touching Carla’s.
“Hey, where you go I go remember. I’ll be with you, always,” Lisa promised.
With the promise of Lisa’s presence, Carla seemed to reluctantly resign herself to what was coming next. Lisa and Ted helped her to her feet, giving her a moment to steady herself.
Slowly, they made their way across the office toward the door, Lisa keeping close, Carla’s hand still cradled against her chest as Lisa’s free arm secured itself around Carla’s waist keeping her steady. Before they exited, the blonde glanced back over her shoulder and it caught her eye.
There, in the corner where Carla had isolated herself, sat a sharp edged Stanley knife, the blade glistening in the glow of the blue lights outside.
Her stomach seemed to bottom out at the image. How close had she come to losing her fiancée? Was it minutes? Seconds?
If she hadn’t answered her phone, would she have lost Carla for good?
As they stepped out of the office, Lisa shot Sarah a grateful smile. So thankful that she had stayed, that she had recognised something wasn’t right. That she had made the call.
And Lisa was even more thankful that she had picked up her phone. That she hadn’t allowed work to pull her focus.
If something had happened, if she had lost Carla because she had ignored the call, she never would’ve forgiven herself.
As they exited the building, Lisa noticed the onlookers who had assembled in curiosity on the street, but she didn’t give them a second glance. Too focused on Carla and what she needed.
Once they settled in the back of the ambulance, Sarah came rushing up to the door.
“Don’t worry about the factory, I’ll take care of everything. Make sure she’s looked after,” Sarah said and Lisa nodded.
“Thanks Sarah.”
The ambulance door closed, shielding Lisa and Carla from the eyes of the outside world. As the vehicle roared to life Lisa reached for her fiancées hand, cupping in her own as she gazed deep into Carla’s bloodshot eyes.
“Everything’s going to be okay darling. I promise.”
Later, at the hospital, after countless assessments and discussions with doctors and a prominent psychiatrist, it had been decided Carla would need to return to taking her antipsychotic medication.
Something she had fought so hard to come off of the first time.
A stint away at a clinic was also arranged, something Carla was strongly resistant to. It broke Lisa’s heart.
She knew Carla was petrified of being alone with the demons in her head.
And Lisa, she couldn’t help but feel responsible.
If she had just sent Becky away, fought for Carla instead of battling with the ghosts of her past, none of this would’ve happened.
Carla had been through so much, Lisa all too aware of her past. She should’ve protected her, shielded her.
Instead she had pushed everything that had happened aside, refusing to entertain everything they had been through since Becky had risen from the dead.
That had been Lisa’s biggest mistake. Because in doing so, she had completely disregarded what Carla had been through. The trauma of being tied up and locked away in the dark with nothing but the demons she had fought so hard to lock away taunting her.
Becky taunting her.
Carla had been left for dead and Lisa, she was so focused on repairing their relationship, their family, that she had failed to repair the damage that had been inflicted on Carla.
She had been selfish, and that selfishness had almost cost her the very thing that had distracted her in the first place.
It almost cost her the family the had built. Almost cost her the love of her life.
But this time, Lisa wouldn’t slip, she wouldn’t look forward, she would be present. she would fix the foundations Becky had cracked open. Create something stronger, unshakeable.
A foundation that would support the future when it arrived. Not something rushed or a bandaid over a gaping wound. No, this would be solid, healed.
Without so much as a second thought, Lisa had put in for leave. Christ she would put in for a career break if necessary. Whatever it took to get Carla well.
Lisa would be there, every step of the way. Just as she had promised. Not a phone call or a car drive away. Right where Carla would be. Indefinitely.
Stepping into the hospital room her heart broke at the sight of Carla huddled up in the foetal position on the bed, hooked up to a drip of fluids, pressure cuff still attached to her bicep. The heart monitor beeping rhythmically in the background.
“Lisa,” Carla whispered, her shaking voice like a siren calling Lisa home.
“I’m here darling,” Lisa replied, taking a seat on the edge of the bed, her hand slipping around Carla’s waist, her other hand finding strands of brunette hair, combing her fingers through it with all the softness in the world.
“I’m sorry,” Carla said, her meek, almost afraid.
“For what love?” Lisa questioned, her hand cupping Carla’s cheek in her hand, thumb stroking the apple of cheek.
“For… for the factory, for what I almost did,” Carla whimpered.
The Stanley knife instantly flickered through Lisa’s mind, each flash piercing her heart a little more.
Once the doctors had managed to settle Carla she had admitted that she had grabbed the knife for a reason. The admission landing her a 72 hour psyche hold.
Lisa cuddled in closer to her fiancée, taking hold of her hands, her grip firm, steadying.
“Darling, why di…” the words dying on Lisa’s tongue before she could finish. She needed to thread carefully. She didn’t want to accuse. Didn’t want to Carla think that she was angry.
“What made you take the knife?” She asked, choosing instead to open the conversation to explanation, not accusation. Carla swallowed around the lump in her throat.
“I didn’t want to, I just, I thought you’d be better off, you and Betsy, instead of dealing with this. I wanted to protect ye,” Carla answered. Lisa shook her head, tears streaming down her face.
“Carla….I don’t need protecting, I need you,” she replied breathlessly, the air in her lungs strangling her with the weight of her fiancées admission.
“I don’t want to be a burden,” Carla cried. Lisa shifted, tucking herself closer if that was even possible.
“Carla you are not a burden. You’re ill. And it might take time but we’re gonna get you better. We’ll get the right treatments and the right mediations, but darling please, don’t ever think we’re better off without you because we’re not. You made us whole again. Losing you, it would break us, break me.”
Both women were full on sobbing now. The reality of the situation weighing heavy on both of them. Carla shifted herself into an upright position, wrapping her arms around Lisa’s neck, holding on as if her life depended on it. Because it did.
“I didn’t want to, but the voices, it’s like they were right there. I could see them. I just wanted it to stop!”
Lisa rubbed her hands up and down the length of Carla’s back trying to offer comfort in her turmoil.
“I know darling, I know,” Lisa whimpered before pulling back to rest their foreheads together, her eyes locking with Carla.
“But hurting yourself, that doesn’t make things better. Even just the thought of it breaks my heart. I don’t need you to disappear to end the pain, I need you to find me so I can be with you and help you carry it.”
Carla gazed deep into Lisa’s glassy eyes as if trying to decipher if her words were honest or just empty sentiments to keep her going.
But when she looked, really looked, all she saw was that stubborn, steely determination that Lisa always carried with her. The one that spoke of just how far she would go to stand by her word.
These weren’t empty platitudes, they were Lisa’s heart on full display. Carla fidgeted with the cuff of her fiancées sleeve as she spoke her next thought.
“They’ll put me on antipsychotic drugs. What if it’s for life?” She queried. Lisa smiled softly at her.
“I don’t care. If that’s what it takes for you to be well then so be it. It doesn’t change anything. It’ll just be another pill, just like you’re anti rejection meds. I don’t care how many medications they put you on, if it keeps you alive and well, that’s all that matters.”
Carla nodded, as if finally allowing herself to believe Lisa’s words. Tugging Lisa close, Carla buried her head in the warmth of the blondes chest. Comforted by the steady heartbeat she found there.
“I love you,” she mumbled against the fabric of Lisa’s sweater, and Lisa wrapped her arms protectively around her.
“I love you too. Always.”