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your captors bedroom floor is covered in a dark red carpet, its clean all things considered but theres a few stains that dont seem to come out when he cleans it. in particular, a big green splotch near your kennel caught your attention what feels like hours ago. your eyes havent moved from it. just staring, its icky and sick and your only solace at the moment.
your captor, "mk" as he asked you to call him, is "asleep" in the bed across from the cage he crammed you in. maybe he truly is trying to sleep but you still notice how his foot occasionally starts shaking in his insomniac boredom. it pisses you off.
you can only assume hes waiting for you to fall asleep or atleast settle into the bedding he laid out for you. thick and padded, still uncomfortable but its a kennel. you arent getting any better than this. a bottle of water and a few of the granola bars you like in one corner and a pile of pillows and plushies from your room in the other.
its cold. cold enough hes under blankets, something he doesnt normally do. you should follow suit, crawl under the blankets but if you do that your sure youll fall asleep with your eyes as heavy set as they are. still you can only stare at the floor, at the red carpet, at the nasty stain. what else can you do? you cant try to escape while hes awake, you definitely dont want to sleep not if possibly you could be escaping instead.
the air conditioning whirling, whirling, turning itself back on takes away your attention again, focusing you back on the stain in the carpet, on the room. the only thing breaking up the fanning air is his shaky leg and occasionally coiling tail rustling the blankets. the smell of him would be nauseating from how all encompassing it is if you werent starving. you have been refusing to eat, simply picking at the meals offered but not even trying them, too sick to the stomach to even toy with the idea.
the coldness of the room plucking at your hairs and pinching them up, the hunger aching, burning, coagulating in your stomach, the exhaustion easing your eyes into an achy pulse and the plush blankets cradling your bottom from the harsh metal tray underneath. you try to use it all to stay calm, to stay awake but it grows difficult.
until you hear the bed creak, the sound makes you jolt upright but your eyes stay glued to the splotch that makes the fuzzy carpet coarse even to look at. you can see him in the corners of your eyes, looking over at you and hear as he kicks off the blankets and his weight lifts from the mattress.
finally letting yourself glance up just to see what hes truly doing only to immediately make painful, terrible eye contact with the monkey. hes watching you just as much as you're observing him. instinctively your eyes shoot back down back at the spot but he clearly saw you by the way his face brightens up, that smile lopsided and tentative.
its weird seeing him only in the dim moonlight allowed from his curtains rather than the bright sun just hours earlier. its unusual, a break from he routine hed gotten you set in. he sits beside the cage and tries to get you to look at him again, waving a hand in front of your face but your gaze remains unmoved. he sighs dejected when you fail to respond. like he thought by now you should have warmed up to him.
the churn of the key in the padlock does win your attention though, looking back up to see what hes doing, his hands finally unlocking the cage again. his eyes meeting yours with almost mischievous excitement, as he unlatches the door. his brown iris digging through you with just fingernails.
you dont understand what hes doing. is he going to hurt you? let you go? what- what's going on?
he opens the door and holds it open for you but you dont even dare to move, looking at him with that crease in your brow you do when your confused and scared but he blanks, what is he supposed to do with you? so skittish. hesitantly his hand pats his thigh, once, twice, as if calling for a pet to come closer and the expected look he gives you.. an elated mixture of hope...
hes finally allowing you to come out after denying you for hours..but can you trust it...?
do you have a choice?
"c'mere angel, im not gonna hurt you sweetheart." he coos, voice broken with sleepy depth. this time patting his lap three times. youre so tired and cold and you can practically see how warm he is, his skin so vibrant and radiant and hes looking at you with more patience then youve witnessed youre entire life.
but you dont want to do what he asks, no matter how nice itll be for both of you. you cant let yourself find peace in this. not after he kidnapped you. not after he keeps you locked up for hours upon hours. you dont care how warm he is. you dont care how nice he is to you. you dont care that its breaking his heart that you arent loving him back.
and yet your stupid dumb idiot moronic paw twitches forward without your go ahead and you cant just stop after a twitch, your body steps to keep its balance. then you have to keep going because you cant let him see how bad your doubting yourself because of him. only him. hes all you have now. you're not gonna be able to escape.
it happens too fast, a second step forward until its three steps and the doorway of the kennel makes you duck into another step and to fully drag your body out of the cages lip another straight into his waiting arms.
"there you are." his smile stretches into a yawn, his arms immediately ensnaring your body, trapping it to press against his own. his muzzle wasting no time stuffing into your neck and instantly you regret your stupid fucking ego and your even more clueless body, letting yourself come out from the cage.
"theres my angel." his fangs only separated from your jugular by the thin skin of his lips and your dermis. his lungs breathing life into the feathers there, breathing you in. you dont want this, his breath against your skin feels worse than hot flashes. his hands feel like lava, theyre so warm against you.
and oh gods above you can smell every inch of him like this. his fur, his saliva, his natrual scent, his cologne, what hes eaten today, the scent of people you dont know on him. its too much and you try to pull away, to his amusement. he doesnt even need to tighten his grip to keep your bigger body planted in his lap. "my sweet angel," oh hes just purring with an ecstatic electricity, "youre way too cold. maybe you should sleep with me tonight?"
his words are accompanied by his legs flexing, working to stand up while carrying you and you freeze up. now is when your wings bristle and your lungs stop. he doesnt seem to notice, too busy pressing a kiss to your hairline and walking to the bed with you held to his chest. its an awkward hold but any fear of falling is more of a hope with how tight his grip is.
before you can process youre being carried, youre dumped onto his bed, scrambling to sit up, staring up at him. here its even worse, the bed smells like him, him, him, monkey and noodles and sunlight, its making you dizzy and you need to puke.
as if he could feel your internal torment himself, he smiles down at you, pressing his paw flat to your sternum long before you can actually make it far, "stay." he pauses for another second, feeling how your diaphragm doesnt rise for a good minute and laughs, hes really enjoying this isnt he?
"breathe." he waits for you to follow his order, its only when he finally feels your chest rise, he crawls in beside you and wraps an arm around your middle, pulling you into him to cuddle.
you dont like it. you hate it actually. the word cuddle. the feeling of it. its too much. too warm. too soft. too much body. pressing his chest to yours, effectively tangling your legs with his own and wrapping you up in his arms, one hand gently starting to pet down the bristling feathers that intermingle in your locks, all while your arms stay almost taped to your sides.
it feels so ... wrong. you can feel his heartbeat, his breath, his body heat, his scent, his fur against your own, his eyes on yours and you just stare back because you dont know what to do. you dont know how to do anything. every pet against your feathers makes them bristle up more, your wings practically standing up on end even while still protectively curled into your back.
hes so warm and his heart beat is so slow, even how his breath fans over you isnt as annoying as it should be. you can only swallow harshly, your heart feels like its going to explode, your breathing is shallow and few, you cant force your mouth to make any semblance of a sentence, you can hardly even move your limbs. youre just stiff.
mk gently huffs, youre so afraid its almost insulting but he supposes its not your fault. its those gods and other angels from before him, he just needs to undo their conditioning. he simply presses another kiss to your forehead, his words growing quieter, softer, "youve never been held like this before, have you angel?"
a shake racks through you, not quite a shiver, not quite a twitch. you feel so stuck you cant even deny his question, just staring at him as he stares at you. its true of course, you are an angel afterall. this kind of touch is reserved only for mates and he is your captor nothing but. yet he still forces you to break the rules of your realm. because if you told him no hed just ingnore you, whine and complain, act so hurt and make you to give in.
he frowns in a sympathetic kind of way. no anger at how you shake under his touch or how you fail to respond or even how your wings bristle up like a defensive owl. he only wriggles closer, pushing your head down into his neck so he can wrap his chin over your head, his tail coiling around your tail once, twice, three times, four, his hands rubbing gentle shapes into your back.
you hate, most of all, how good this all feels, his warmth seeping into your bones, his embrace and rubbing paw pads making your body want to relax but you try to not let it, to remain stiff and unaffected. how he smells so good too, his fur is nice and soft as it brushes against yours, his tail is a firm weight you cant help but find alittle comfort in and you dont want to.
you want to be back in your temple, alone and busy as youve always been. even if all this lounging has been nice and the warmth of being loved is irreplaceable, its not yours and it shouldn't be for you. you are an angel, no more and no less.
you both lay like that for a minute. you thankful he doesnt force you to talk and him trying to show you the depths of his affections to you. squeezing you and rubbing his scent into your skin, you dont let it make you recoil. you dont let all this gross affection make you flinch in disgust like it should, hes a demon, any of your reactions will feed him anyway.
he presses another kiss to your hair before taking a shaky breath in, making you realize how hesitant those giving lips have become, how they tremble over the sound of his voice, over the shape of the letters. "angel. hold me back...please.."
all things holy, does he suddenly sound fragile, so pathetic. shit. shit. shit. do you have to? he sounds like hell break if you dont.. but you shouldn't, you dont have to and you dont want to.
but the longer you sit in silence the more he shakes, his shoulders start to tremble in rhythm with his breath and he laughs but you can feel his tears in your hair. "of course not," you feel his arms tense to push you off and you want him to.
but your talons twitch and your hands crawl forward until your arms wrap around his back too. you dont want them to.
he stops breathing for a moment before suddenly squeezing you hard enough you squeak. nuzzling his nose into your scalp and his tail wagging so forcefully it moves yours to wag with it. his hands move up, cupping your face and instantly pressing kisses into your cheeks, your nose, your forehead before he rests his forehead against yours.
his eyes full of stars as he looks at you like hes about to burst. his pads digging into your jaw making your lips fish up, your claws instinctively digging into his sides through his shirt. "you are perfect perfect perfect perfect!!!! i love you so so so much angel, you have no idea!!"
he presses a final kiss to your lips, and you cant move. practically curling his body around your top half, hugging your skull into his stomach, his thighs pressed to the back of your head, you hope he doesnt force you to stay like this for long. "my perfect angel."