Chapter Text
William Afton Byers was on the subway, thinking about the one that got away, when all a sudden he found himself itchy. Looking down, he saw a lil' spider sittin' on his hand with anime eyes looking up at him, all innocent like.
“Meow?” The spider said right before biting tf out of his limp wrist.
“AHHUG!” Will smacked the spider into a pancake, flicking it off as the world started to spin.
“I knew I shouldn’t have gone into those cranberry bogs,” he said, shaking his head, which only made him feel worse, “but I thought the overalls would be so chic.”
“They were, trust,” came a disembodied voice. Will squinted through his blooming headache, trying to find the source. He grabbed onto a post to balance, but when he tried to adjust, his hand wouldn’t budge.
“Hmm, that’s peculiar…” he muttered nerdily under his breath.
The subway was open, and he smelled the bread and felt encapsulated by it.
“Ohhhh boy! Do I ever want a yummy fresh sandwich!” He got so excited that he was somehow unstuck, and his body took over, swinging off the roof of the Subway as if he had done it a thousand times. He strolled inside, cool as freak, kinda like Tobey in Spider-Man 3. The second he spotted the sandwich guy, though, he stopped right in his tracks.
Will was in the middle of Tobey Maguire dancing, hips gyrating, and arms rolling when he clocked the subway employee, eyes filling with tears.
“… M-Mike? Is that you?”
Will couldn’t believe it. His childhood friend, whom he hadn’t seen since that fuckass dnd game where he had fake teeth, which was kinda hot. Will found his feet sticking to the floor, sounding like Velcro as he sauntered over to him.
“Why does your name tag say, Harry?”
“Because it’s my name?” said Mike, scrunching his face in confusion. Which wasn’t much of a change from his default expression. “Can I take your order?”
“I know I don’t have a bowl cut anymore, but c’mon, Mike, you’ve known me for years. Did you follow me to New York or something?” The mike guy stared with an open mouth at him, looking kind of stupid. Will stared back.
“Ermmm… IT’S. HARRY.” he snapped back, rolling his eyes as if Will was the crazy one.
Will scoffs and opens his mouth to respond, but Mike beats him to it.
“…I don’t go by that name anymore.” He looks down at the tomatoes, seeming uncomfortable.
Mike appeared to be making a sandwich, but Will never ordered one. Maybe it was his comfort food, like Will’s hotpot.
Mike or “Harry” gestured to the sandwich.
“That’ll be one kiss, please.”
“BwUUH??” Will sputtered as Mike flipped over the counter, dropping the sandwich in his hands.
“I could never forget you, Willem.”
The two leaned in, lips colliding when suddenly… the world went black.
Moments pass until a voice can be heard through the dark. “Can you hear me? Are you okay?”
Will blinked awake, his blurred vision spinning as two men dressed in paramedic uniforms came into focus. Will took in his surroundings, noticing empty subway car seats; he must have gone unconscious.
“Huh?” Will asked, trying to remember what happened.
“Do you know where you are?” One of the men asked, he had dark, slicked-back hair with one slut strand falling loose on his forehead and a very beautiful mustache that Will hoped Mike would consider trying to grow one day.
“I’m at Subway?”
“Yeah, kid, we’re on the subway,” said the other one, who was a bit taller and had short curly hair.
Should I get a perm? Will wondered. Wait… where did the sandwiches go? The tomatoes? ..Mike? Er—Harry?
“I think you’re just confused, son,” Mr. Mustache said. Oh.. he must’ve said that out loud.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Curly hair man says
“I got bit by a spider, see?”
Will showed the men his spider bite, which was shaped like a smiley face. He had to admit it was pretty sigma.
“Heh, Buck,” Slut Strand laughed, “it looks like you.”
“Your name is Fuck?” Will asked.
“No, but I get that a lot,” Buck said, locked in on his smiley bite. “Eddie, I know all about spiders from TikTok. The ones whose bites look like Roblox faces can be radioactive!” His big blue eyes widened, and Eddie gasped in horror.
“Wh-what?? Am I gonna die???” Will screeched worriedly.
“No, it’s fine, we just need to perform some blood letting.” Slut and Curl say at the same time, nonchalantly.
“Fuckley, I need leeches. Lots of 'em.” Slut McGee muttered.
“We only have the lobotomy kit and some actual cocaine.”
“Perfect, that’ll do. This won’t hurt a bit.”
“Cocaine????” Will might've pooped his pants a lil’.
“Aren’t you from the 80’s? You probably ate this for breakfast or something. You’ll be fine.” Buck said before unleashing the powder on him in a cloud.
“Do you have an emergency contact or someone we can call?” Eddie asked, unsuccessfully trying to brush away some stray powder caught in his mustache before his husband did it for him.
Will tried to think of who to call; all of his friends and family were still back in Hawkins or further away. But his mind kept going back to one person.
“Mike,” he paused, “call Mike.”
“That’s great, kid. Who the fuck is that?”