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come 2nite? during fire
Nico almost didn't find the note. He wasn't even planning on going back to his locker in the armory after training - something about Percy a couple yards away, taking a bunch of first year campers through basic forms, made Nico want to flee immediately to the safety of his cabin, where he could continue his days-long panic in private, away from prying eyes - well, one set of prying eyes in particular.
Not that Percy's been bothering him. Not that Percy's been anything. When they were squeezed into a crack in the rocks, hiding from the Laestrygonians, Nico'd been worried - for the half-second he'd bothered to think about it - that it'd be awkward, when they got back to camp. He'd been afraid, before he put all that aside in favor of what felt good in the moment, that Percy would avoid him, be unable to meet his eye after they'd - well, after Nico'd... after what happened.
But it's been five days since they got back and none of those fears have materialized. Percy's just been... normal, since the quest. He still smiles at Nico in the dining pavilion every morning, still calls out - loudly, no matter how far away he is - when they pass each other on the grounds. Percy even stopped to say hi to him and Will when he ran into them outside the infirmary yesterday, and carried on a very standard - if a little teasing - conversation with Will while Nico tried to keep himself tethered to the physical plane and not give in to the urge to let the shadows swallow him whole.
So, it's fine. It's good. It's no problem that Percy's completely unbothered by what happened. And if he's fine, well then Nico's fine, too. He's fine being unable to string words together while Percy casually talks at him about how to divvy up teams for capture the flag, or rendered speechless just because Percy complimented his form on the sparring pitch. He's fine with feeling like he's 12 years old all over again, unable to even look at Percy without blushing. Most of all, he's fine with Percy not making any mention of what happened, or the casual way he'd told Nico to "pay him back once they made it back to camp" when Nico asked if he should, if he could...
It's fine.
That is, until Nico opens his locker because he wants to be alone but not as bad as he wants the vape in his jacket pocket, and a slip of paper falls out from where it'd been slipped through the vent in the door, fluttering ominously to the floor. Nico bends down to retrieve it, turning it over in his hands like it'll burst into flames if he moves too fast, and tries to make out the frankly abysmal handwriting.
Four words, and suddenly nothing is fine.
Four words, and he's slipping away from the campfire, and Will's concerned look, off into the darkness to knock on the door of Cabin 3.
If not getting immediately blasted off the front step by rays of vengeful, godly light is surprising, Nico doesn't have words to describe how he feels when the door opens and Percy smiles and steps aside to let him in.
"No one saw me," is the only thing Nico can think of to say as the latch shuts with a deafening click behind him.
Percy shrugs, unbothered.
"Not surprised. You're pretty sneaky."
Nico hums, voice tight, and instinctively wraps an arm around his ribs like a shield. A shield that doesn't feel like nearly enough protection when he turns to see Percy leaning against the closed door, still smiling at him.
"What?" Nico asks, frowning. Percy shrugs again.
"Oh, nothing, just - you came."
"... yeah?"
"Wasn't sure if you would."
Nico can't contain the disbelieving scoff. Percy immediately raises his eyebrows.
"Hey, you haven't before now!"
Nico stares at him in open skepticism.
"Was I supposed to?"
"I thought you might," Percy replies, hands in his pockets, "you can teleport, you know."
Nico feels the low-grade panic that's been following him around all week start to yield to the much safer feeling of annoyance.
"I wasn't just going to show up."
Percy leans his head back against the door and laughs, short and dry and something else Nico can't identify.
"You could have."
The comfortable mask of indifference slips from Nico's face, just a little.
"I wouldn't - there's no way I'd ever... Not without you asking."
Percy's smirk in response to Nico's stuttering should irritate him. Lots of things about Percy should irritate him.
"Sorry, when I said you could get me off in my cabin, thought was enough of an invitation."
They just don't.
"But -" Percy adds, relenting, "you're here now, so..."
He trails off, watching Nico with that same half-smile that Nico can feel in the warmth already on his cheeks. Great.
"So?"
"So, why are you all the way over there?"
It's some dark magic in Percy's warm, easy voice that must get Nico's feet to move, because a second ago he was rooted to the floor. A second ago, he was spiraling in the realization that it's one thing to touch someone - to touch Percy because he had to, was literally trapped against him inside a wall of rock. It's one thing for him to - for that to escalate, when there was rough, unyielding stone at his back and a hard yet pliant body in front of him, urging him forward. It's one thing to cheat on his boyfriend when he didn't have enough space to breathe, let alone move away from the feeling of his first-ever crush, clearly interested - or at least, willing - against him.
It's another thing entirely for Nico to have all the space in the world and still choose to walk right up to Percy Jackson and try with everything in him to keep his voice even.
"Happy?"
Percy seems to consider him, from his sneakers all the way up to his eyes.
"Getting there."
The absolutely glacial way that Percy reaches for him, the way he broadcasts exactly where his hands are going before they get there, is a perfect mix of comfort and torment. It's almost embarrassing, how slowly Percy's hands slide over Nico's hips, make their way to splay across his lower back, just one thin t-shirt - less sweat-damp without the running for his life part - away from where they'd been the last time, fingertips gently pressing along Nico's spine. This sudden patience can only be for Nico's benefit, since he's not sure he's ever seen Percy be so careful about anything, and some of that disbelief must pass over his face.
"What?" Percy says, a bit defensive even as his hands settle on Nico's waist, "You seem a little jumpy."
"I'm not -" Nico starts into the automatic denial before Percy's raised eyebrows and wry expression stop him short.
"It's just... different, I guess."
"Without the risk of sudden death?"
Nico's surprised to hear himself laugh, and at the mirth that seems to put on Percy's face. He tries to explain it.
"No, just -" he finally unfolds his arms to gesture vaguely around them "- all the space."
That makes no sense, but Percy must take something away from it because his hold on Nico's waist loosens.
"You know you don't have to, right? When I said you could pay me back, I was just -"
"No."
It's pathetic, the way Nico's hands fly to Percy's to stop their retreat. How quickly his hesitation fades, his uncertainty collapses at the thought that Percy might take it back, might say it was really a joke. Nico's discomfort is suddenly nothing in the face of losing this chance.
"No?" Percy asks, amusement back in his voice, hands back where they belong - no, that's too dangerous a thought. Nico tries to brush it aside.
"No, I... I want to," he manages, and the idea that he could keep his voice even for this is truly comical.
Percy huffs half a laugh that trails off into a contemplative hum.
"Okay, just checking. Well - how about this -?"
The hands on Nico's waist go from resting to holding as Percy turns him, with careful insistence, until it's his back against the door.
"- is this better?" comes into his ear from much closer than it was before, Percy's voice warm as ever. Nico's hands hold him steady on broad shoulders and it's unclear when they got there, but Nico already can't imagine letting go. His eyes find the cluster of freckles on Percy's neck, right where they were before, back in the cave, and the thing is, it is better. It is so much easier, stuck in between the immovable object of the hard wooden door and the unstoppable force of Percy Jackson leaning over him, where all Nico has to do is... stay.
"I, maybe but - it's not, I don't have like a thing for this, or anything."
"You sure about that?" Percy asks, and Nico has to look up a little to really see his face, "Seems like you might have a thing..."
Well, Nico was sure about it, until Percy looked at him like that, spoke to him in that voice, pushed into him by another half-step.
"It's not a thing."
He gets a skeptical hum in response, and Percy shifts another half-step closer, until their chests just touch. Fingers move across Nico's back, like Percy can't stop running them across the waistline of his jeans, fidgeting with his belt loops. It's maddening, it's making Nico crazy, it's going to drive him to do something he really shouldn't if he doesn't use his mouth for something else -
So he kisses Percy's neck instead, right on those freckles, a little because that distracted Percy well enough last time and a lot because he wants to.
"Fuck, Nico," Percy breathes into his hair, shifting forward to erase the last bit of space between them, crowding Nico against the door, and okay it's still better this way, better than the ambiguity of an open room and infinite space, better when Nico's back is against the wall, but Percy's got room to move now and oh, it's also so much worse.
"Is this okay?" gets whispered into Nico's temple even as Percy's hips press into his. Nico nods, trying to trust his voice, but from the way he can just make out the hardening press of Percy's dick against his stomach, he'll be lucky if it doesn't crack.
"Yeah, I'm... I'm paying you back, aren't I?"
"You don't actually have to -"
"So, whatever you want, Percy," Nico insists, as evenly as he can, and gods does he mean it, he can feel it like a pit in his stomach, a raw, open wound of being so willing, too willing, to give Percy whatever he asks for.
"Shit, Nico you can't just say shit like -" Percy starts, stops, breathes a laugh into Nico's cheekbone, "I don't even know what I want, I've just been thinking about this all week."
But the hands sliding up Nico's back, half-dragging the hem of his shirt with them, suggest he's got at least some ideas. Which, interesting, because...
"You didn't act like it," Nico points out, even though he should probably just keep his mouth shut, "you seemed fine, like nothing even happened..."
Percy sighs and shrugs, hands tracing back down Nico's ribs.
"Didn't want to jinx it, I guess."
Nico's still trying to work out whether or not that makes any sense, when Percy hooks a hand behind his thigh.
"Well, if it's whatever I want -"
And he pulls Nico's leg a little up, a little out, just enough that Nico has to follow it, push up and shift his hips into Percy's hips and his dick into Percy's and fuck maybe someday - someday? Like there'll be other days? - it'll be less of a jaw-dropping shock to feel Percy getting hard against him but for now it's still absolutely staggering. Nico has to bring his arms up around Percy's neck to balance as Percy just barely rocks their hips together. He doesn't have to wind his fingers through the soft grown-out hair at the nape of Percy's neck, but it's kind of the only thing holding him to the earth.
Except, Percy shudders as Nico's fingers find his scalp and maybe this is what being launched into outer space feels like?
Percy's other arm is wrapped around Nico's waist, holding him close and grinding into him just a little harder every time their hips connect, and Nico is already going, maybe even gone, right back to that place where it was no problem if they got eaten by giant cannibals, so long as he could get off on the friction of Percy's thighs before that happened. That place where nothing else matters - not the danger, not the feelings he's supposed to be over, not the shame of being so turned on from just the thought of what this would be like without clothes - so long as this just lasts and lasts and lasts.
"Okay so like... not to push my luck or anything -" Percy trails off, mouth still against Nico's temple, face just out of sight, voice low and far more together than Nico's is about to be.
"Percy, that's - that's all you do."
A soft laugh.
"- but my bed is like, right over there...?"
He's not wrong. Nico can see it, if he looks past Percy's neck and shoulders. One standard issue, twin-sized camp bed, just sitting there, innocently illuminated in the light shining through the cracked bathroom door, and... well, it can't be that different, right? He's already half-wrapped around Percy, he's already letting Percy rub off against him, hitch his hips into Nico's like a means to an end. This is already such a terrible decision, for so many reasons Nico's clearly going to ignore. What difference does it make, if they're standing up or laying down? It's just - it's just geometry, at that point...
"Alright. Sure."
The mouth against Nico's skin smiles and Nico's heart spikes in his chest like a warning.
"Can I carry -?"
"No."
Percy laughs, "Was worth a shot."
Nico probably should've let him, the way his legs feel like they might give out when Percy releases his thigh and pulls him across the room. Maybe they do give out, just a little, because the gentle way Percy pushes him back onto the bed can't explain how hard the impact feels, or the way it knocks all the air out of Nico's lungs. Or maybe that's just how it feels to see Percy Jackson standing over him. Maybe that's just what it's like to look up into the unusually hard set of Percy's face, to watch the faintest tick of the muscle in his jaw before it's gone and that faint smile returns, the gleam back in Percy's eyes like they were never burning.
Then Percy's on top of him and this is way more than geometry.
It's so different like this. It's unimaginable, the scratchy CHB-issue blanket against his neck, under his elbows, the way Nico's immediately enveloped in Percy's smell, faint salt air and detergent and boy behind him, in front of him - all over him as Percy descends onto Nico like he belongs there, like he owns him the way he owns everything else around this fucking place. It's unrecognizable, the way Percy pushes harder now that there's something soft against Nico's back, the way he hitches Nico's knee higher around his hip, the way he insists on having the space between Nico's legs. It's unfathomable how Percy's mouth stays so soft on his pulse while Nico can't stop his hands from digging into Percy's shoulders, his back, the dip of his waist like the inexorable roll of his body depends on the death grip of Nico's fingers.
It's unbearable, how Nico can be so completely and utterly trapped and feel so totally untethered at the same time.
"P-Percy, gods -"
The half-moan in his voice is completely mortifying, even worse for how together Percy's hummed response sounds from just under Nico's ear.
"Yeah, that's good, right? Fuck, Nico - don't take this the wrong way but wow, this feels so much better than it should..."
Nico's pretty sure he's way past taking anything any other way than exactly how Percy wants him to, but he can at least keep that much to himself.
"Is it - do you like it -?"
He doesn't even know what he's trying to ask. Does he want to know if Percy likes pressing his dick into someone else's? If it's working for him to rub off against someone who's just as trapped in their pants, just as torn about the too-tight too-good feeling of the fabric against their erection? Could Percy get off on someone like this? Is Nico asking if he likes how it feels?
... or, if he likes how Nico feels?
Percy pulls back enough to look down at Nico, forehead just a little knit.
"Yeah, of course I like it, dude, just thought I was a little old for dry-humping by now, right?"
Nico bites his lip and tries to resist the urge to turn his head away. He wishes Percy would go back to hiding his face in Nico's neck where Nico doesn't have to deal with those eyes on him, doesn't have to feel his cheeks burning and know Percy can see it even in the low light. He also wishes he didn't know exactly what Percy means, because he should be too old for this too. Has been too old, in fact. It's been ages since anything so tame got him this on edge, this unable to string words together even in his head. Except right now, he's pretty sure he's acting like he's never been touched before, which is ridiculous because he has. Nico's done this, and more than - a lot more than slowly grind against someone through four layers of fabric.
It just didn't feel anything like this.
It's too much, and it's not nearly enough. So Nico bends his other knee, shifts enough to let Percy slot fully between his legs, and pulls Percy into him, feeling the quiet moan through his lips on Percy's throat.
"Shit, Nico -" Percy bites down on his name, though he doesn't manage to stop the jerk of his hips into the vee of Nico's legs, and Nico can't help it, he needs to shut his eyes for a second, because how is he supposed to go back from knowing how well they fit together like this?
"What?"
Percy shakes his head into Nico's collarbone.
"Just - you feel really good."
It's so simple, such a benign thing to say. It shouldn't even register as dirty talk for how mild it is, when there are infinitely more suggestive, more graphic ways to describe what they're doing. Compared to some of the stuff Nico's imagined Percy saying to him, back when he used to let himself dream about it, the words should barely move Nico's pulse.
Instead, they surge into him, lodge themselves under his sternum, and radiate a warmth that spreads everywhere from the top of his head to his toes. They threaten to push out what little self-control he had left - though if the high, almost wounded moan Nico hears in his own voice is anything to go by, it's already more than a threat.
Percy's responding laugh, low and dark, burns Nico's skin.
"Yeah, that's not helping, you know that right?"
"Helping... Helping what?"
The shake in his voice would be more embarrassing if it wasn't for the faint new edge of tightness in Percy's.
"How much I want to touch you."
Nico frowns.
"You are...?"
But Percy's hand is already moving from Nico's knee, apparently trusting Nico to keep it hitched around his hip enough to drag up the seam of Nico's jeans, trace across the pocket stitching, just missing his dick. It doesn't rest until Percy's fingers have slipped under the waistband of Nico's pants, of his underwear, to slide along skin there and hold, thumb hooked against his hip bone.
"No like, really touch you."
It's quiet in the cabin, just the faint trickling of water from the fountain, the cicadas and other sounds of east coast summer nights muted and distant outside. It's quiet in Nico's head too, for once. Quiet and empty, when he tries to remember why this is such a bad idea.
"You can."
Percy pulls back, and Nico opens his eyes from where he'd squeezed them shut to see the same sea green irises that have haunted him for years, boring into him.
"Yeah?"
Percy's voice is light, but the hand brushing Nico's skin holds tighter and the hard set is back in his eyes.
"Yeah," Nico breathes, and the smile he gets is seared into his brain in an instant, right along with the feeling of Percy running his hands under Nico's shirt and up his waist, pushing the fabric up with them. Nico feels cool air on his skin, his stomach and ribs, a vague ache left behind as his nipples tighten from the temperature shift and the brush of Percy's hands. Another faint noise in his throat.
"Wow," Percy says quietly, staring as Nico tries not to squirm.
"You've seen me without a shirt before."
"Yeah, it's a little different when you're in my bed, dude."
Nico can't argue with that. He feels like he's melting. Percy's hands leave the shirt rucked up under Nico's armpits in favor of tracing down over his neck and chest.
"You look so good like this."
That warmth bursts through him again, and Nico can't help the way his hips jerk into Percy's at the praise, or at the way Percy's fingers lay between Nico's ribs when Percy thumbs over his right nipple.
"Shit," Nico hisses, and he can hear the smile in Percy's voice.
"Sensitive?"
"I - I guess..."
Percy does it again. Nico shrinks back from the touch even as his hips push up into where Percy's started grinding into him again. Percy hums against his jaw, pleased. Then his neck. Then his collarbone -
"Percy -" escapes Nico's mouth as a moan, and he tries desperately to make it more than just his default, the only thing left in his head to say when everything else has been pushed out by the feeling of Percy's hands on his skin.
"Aren't - aren't I supposed to be paying you back?"
The laugh into his chest does nothing to distract from Percy dragging his fingers across the trembling plane of Nico's stomach.
"You think you're not?"
"I'm barely doing anything."
It's sort of true. Nico's hands seem committed to making him seem like he's completely out of his depth, persistently locked on Percy's waist, hidden under his shirt, digging into his lower back.
"You're doing plenty."
Percy's mouth - and hand - skirts lower, maddeningly gentle tongued kisses on his chest, and Nico has to say something, anything, before they're both subjected to the sound he'll make if Percy does that over his nipples.
"This isn't one of those, like... 'it isn't gay if he doesn't touch me' things is it?" Nico says, embarrassingly breathless at the sight of Percy's mouth against his ribs.
Percy looks up and if Nico's seen him look less impressed, he can't remember it right now. The eye-roll and sarcasm on top of that feels a little unnecessary.
"Don't be stupid. Also, think you've got that backwards... which maybe explains some things."
Nico gasps at the brush of lips on his skin.
"L-like what?"
Percy smiles against his chest before pulling back to lean over him.
"Like, how gay you are."
The startled laugh this pulls from Nico's mouth seems to surprise both of them.
"I don't... I don't know if you're allowed to make jokes like that -" Nico says, fighting against giggling because he doesn't, he will not -
Then Percy hooks his fingers over the waistband of his jeans, looking right at him as he thumbs the button open in one clean movement.
"Am I not?"
That really feels like it merits a follow-up question. Actually, Percy's apparent comfort with all of this merits a follow-up question, except whatever it might've been is immediately lost when Percy finds the tab of Nico's zipper, pulling the metal teeth apart, slow and deafening, because Percy isn't touching Nico's erection but he's not avoiding it either, and the base of that zipper is snug against the base of Nico's dick so this is like watching a car that's about to crash in slow motion.
Then his fly is down, Percy curls his whole hand over the ache between Nico's legs, and impact.
Nico's not sure which is more horrifying, the way his full body jerks at the feeling of Percy's hand, still buffered by fabric, firmly pressed against his dick, or the sound he makes when it happens.
"Oh-h -"
Percy's gaze flicks down towards his hand, which, maybe the gods are merciful enough to give Nico a second out from under those eyes to pull himself together -
"Wow. Nico, you're really hard. Fuck, just from this?"
- and maybe they're pieces of shit, just like he always knew they were.
"Fuck off," Nico bites out, though it loses some of its vitriol when Percy shifts his hand and his fingers slide under the zipper, "Do you always talk this much?"
Percy shrugs, giving Nico a considering squeeze and grinning as Nico jerks up into it again.
"Pretty much. Do you?"
He sounds skeptical, even sarcastic, and it's a little warranted because... no. Nico doesn't usually talk this much - period, let alone during sex. During sex he doesn't usually talk at all. He never really feels the need to say anything, and he definitely never feels the need to make this much noise - or rather, the inability to stop making noises, noises that are getting closer and closer to pleas the further Percy pushes this.
"Nico, fuck - okay, I'm just gonna - here, lift up a little?"
Nico has to shut his eyes. He has to lock his lip hard between his teeth. He has to think about something else, anything else, besides how when he lifts his hips immediately on request, Percy starts tugging his jeans down just past his hip bones, just enough that his intention could not be any more clear even without Percy asking -
"Can I touch -?"
"Yes."
Percy dips down to kiss his neck at the same moment he slips his hand inside Nico's boxers and maybe Nico just shoves Percy into the Lethe after this.
"Oh, oh fuck, Percy -"
"Wow," Percy murmurs into his neck, hand feeling him out, thumb running along the underside of his erection, curling his fingers around the shaft, "Wow. You're so sensitive."
It should be embarrassing - it is embarrassing. It's just getting harder for Nico to tell the difference between the heat on his face and that flood of warmth through the rest of him whenever Percy talks to him like this.
"Yeah well, it's been a long -" Nico starts, defensive, but he trips on the words, "- time."
He can't tell if he was about to say week or seven years...
"So, did you dream about this too?"
Nico swears he used to be a good liar.
"Y-you have no idea."
Percy's gentle assault on his neck pauses for a second. Then Percy shrugs.
"Oh, I have some idea."
Nico wants to ask what that means. He wants to ask about the strain that just flashed through Percy's voice, when it's been so maddeningly even, almost teasing up to this point. It's like the faintest hint of a crack in Percy's shell, the shell he's caught a glimpse of a few times over the years, this cocky, easy-going face that Percy wears like it's the only one he has. Nico wants to wedge his fingers into that crack and pull, rip it apart with his bare hands, tear up the pieces until what's underneath is all that's left, until Percy's just as exposed as he is. Until he's under Percy's skin the way Percy's always lived under his.
"So what happened?"
Nico tries to focus on the question instead of how Percy's pushing at the fabric of his underwear, dragging it down the way of his pants. The sudden wash of cool air wars against the heat on his skin as Percy stares down between them, shifting back just enough to look.
"What -?"
"In that dream?"
There's just no way Nico's coming out of this with any dignity intact. Best he can hope for is taking some of Percy's out with him. So he finally unlocks his hands from where they're bruising into Percy's back and tears through the fly of Percy's jeans instead.
"Everything."
Maybe the speed with which he's got it unbuttoned, unzipped, maybe how he skips right over feeling Percy out through his boxers and slides his hand under the fabric instead, maybe that'll be enough to redeem Nico a little for how completely undone he is with Percy's hands on him.
"Unhh, you, you don't have to -"
"Shut up."
Unfortunately, there's nothing more damning than how undone he is by having his hands on Percy.
"Gods, Percy, holy shit -"
Percy's half-attempt at resistance must've been completely performative, because he shifts his hips back enough to give Nico better access even has he buries his face in Nico's neck. Nico misses the weight on him immediately, but it's worth it to have room to move his hand, to be able to run his fingers over Percy's dick, tracing smooth, hard length of it base to head. He's shaking, Percy can definitely feel it, but gods above, he cannot believe this is happening, that he's touching Percy there, that Percy is letting him -
"Nico, f-fuck..." Percy whispers into his skin, cock twitching into Nico's hand.
- that Percy likes it.
He wants to see it, wants the picture in his head of his hand on Percy's cock, his finger tips just able to meet as he grips the shaft. He wants the image of hard, flushed skin to go with the heat in his hands. He wants this memory burned under his eyes, etched inside his skull, because who knows how long he'll need it to last? Who know if he'll ever get another one? But Percy's making that difficult, because of course he is, and Nico doesn't think he should be faulted for the noise of irritation he makes when Percy grabs his wrist, stilling his hand, making him let go -
"Fuck, Jackson, just let me touch -"
"Shh."
Percy sits back on his heels. Nico leans up on an elbow just in time to watch him pull his t-shirt off over his head and - gods - push his jeans and boxers down below his hips to the top of his thighs.
"I just -"
Percy shifts forward until Nico has to collapse back into the bed, mouth back against Nico's skin. The soft press of his lips against Nico's cheek plus the quiet laugh would probably have been enough to wreck Nico all on their own.
"I want to feel you more."
So combined with the way Percy presses their hips together, no clothes, no space between them? It's more than enough to destroy him.
Percy shifts his weight and lets his dick slide along Nico's, slicking up Nico's stomach, and Nico might put his teeth through his lip trying to hold back his voice.
"Shit, that's so good," Percy says, almost stunned, and maybe Nico'd be offended at his surprise if it wasn't for the comfort of Percy's free hand on his waist, his hip bone, thumb back to tracing maddening circles into the skin of his stomach.
"And your skin is so soft here, fuck, I didn't know you'd feel like this..."
"W-What?" Nico half-asks, fighting against the warmth flooding through him with Percy's words. Percy thrusts against him again and if he's trying to distract Nico from asking why Percy'd been thinking about his skin, it definitely works.
"I couldn't believe it when I felt you getting hard in that cave..."
"Why... why not?"
It's a dumb question, since there are plenty of reasons to be surprised that Nico's self-control could be so easily destroyed by the briefest closeness, even in the face of a grisly death. There are plenty of things Percy could say - like, he didn't realize Nico was so desperate, or that easy. Like, he thought Nico'd be a little more focused on recovering the Ouranian treasure box, on the quest he was personally assigned by the Oracle, than he would be on getting off mid-escape. Nico can't believe it either, to be honest. So many years of hiding it, of claiming he was fine, of lying to himself about how he felt, all wiped out in a single touch. He should've fought harder to stop Percy from coming with him to Hudson Bay, or insisted on doing the quest alone - or better yet, never come back to camp at all -
Percy sighs into his cheek, voice soft in his ear.
"I just thought you were over it."
Nico wouldn't have been able to process that at the best of times, so now, with Percy - shirtless - leaning over him, slowly rocking their hips together? The wet slide of it, the feeling of the head of his dick skidding across the firm plane of Percy's stomach, the heat pooling and tightening under his skin?
There's no room in Nico's head for anything else.
"Percy..."
What more evidence did he need, though, of how completely delusional he's been? It's always this, and it'll never stop, no matter how deep he tries to bury it. One touch, it all comes back up to the surface, and when everything else fades away, when there's nothing else left in his head - it'll still be the same fucking name in his mouth.
So for once, instead of fighting the tide, he follows it. He pushes up into the touch and yields to it at the same time, knees falling to the sides as far as his pants will let them. He pulls Percy down into him and lets himself moan at the feeling of for once getting what he wants. He finds Percy's neck with his mouth, the muscle and skin and the faint bruise he'd left behind, and drags his teeth over it like a promise.
Percy groans into his temple.
"Fuck, that's perfect."
Warmth.
"You feel amazing."
Warmth.
"I didn't think you'd let me do this."
Burning, searing warmth. He wants to shrink back from the words, and it just makes him arch into Percy more.
"You're so close, aren't you?"
Spread his legs more.
"Come on, show me."
Beg more.
"Percy - please, please."
"Gods, Nico," Percy moans, pushing up on one arm, leaning over him, "Fuck. Can I -? I just really need to..."
"Anything."
Nico didn't expect Percy to kiss him. Maybe Percy didn't expect him to let it happen either, judging by the gasp Nico feels against his lips. Maybe that'll be enough of a distraction and Percy won't notice the way Nico comes the second their mouths touch, but Nico's a little too busy falling apart to worry about that right now. He'd rather use the last speck of his coordination to reach between them and make sure Percy follows him off the edge, panting into his open mouth, swallowing Nico's helpless moan at the feeling of more come streaking hot across his skin. He'd rather use the last scrap of his willpower to commit everything about Percy shuddering over him to memory. If there's one thing he gets to keep from all of this, let it be that.
It feels like a long time before sound rushes back in to Nico's ears. Time seems a little off its axis, too fluid to be real. The warmth of Percy still on top of him holds his brain down along with the rest of him, and that's fine, that's probably better. Maybe Nico can just stay here, senseless, thoughtless to anything besides Percy how reaches for his face and holds their mouths together until Nico actually manages to kiss him back, just enough to count. Just enough that there's no pretending it didn't happen, no getting out of crossing it off the list of truly insane things that have happened in Nico's life.
Kissed Percy Jackson? Check.
Then Percy pulls back, rolls off to Nico's side, and takes every scrap of that warmth with him.
"I... fuck, sorry."
The temperature change makes Nico's head spin. The flash of cold across damp, exposed skin turns his stomach. Nico shivers, and frowns, feeling suddenly adrift. Why are his eyes stinging? He doesn't know if he should shut them or keep them open, staring at the rafters of the cabin. He wants to rub the sharp ache from them. More still, he wants to pull up his pants, to not have his dick out while he tries to figure out what the fuck just happened, but his hand aborts midway and he stares at it, shining in the low light and fuck, fuck -
"Oh, let me -?"
Percy waves his hand and Nico barely feels the pull on his hand and stomach before the shine of still-wet come streams off his skin and away somewhere into the dark, leaving Nico's fingers clean like they were never messy, like it never happened -
"Better?"
Nico drops his hand.
"... yeah, thanks."
"No problem."
Nico sits up, hunches over himself and maybe Percy won't see his fingers shake on the button of his jeans. Except Percy sits up behind him, and Nico can feel those eyes on him even when he can't see them. He doesn't want to ask, doesn't want to know the answer, but now that he can think again, it's the only thought that'll stick in his head.
"Sorry for what?"
It's barely a whisper. Why does his throat hurt?
"Oh, just, I probably shouldn't have done that, right?"
Why does Percy suddenly sound unsure? For as maddening his calm, easy confidence has been, the uncertainty is all wrong in his voice.
"Done what?" Nico asks, bracing himself. So many possible answers, any one of them a knife to the gut that Nico fully deserves.
"Kissed you."
Oh. That.
"Since you didn't, before. And you're still with Solace."
Nico frowns and the realization that he hasn't thought about Will once since Percy touched him is dizzying in its own unique, horrible, illuminating way.
"Oh. It's okay," he starts, and his voice is so flat in his ears, but it's better than some of the other options. Then, since apparently he's totally forgotten how to lie...
"I mean I obviously liked it, so..."
He turns to see Percy lean back against the utilitarian metal headboard of his bed with a sigh. He's pulled his boxers up enough to cover himself but that's it, and it's not even sort of enough.
"Yeah well, me too, but it's probably crossing a line, or something -"
"And I'm not with - I mean, I just haven't had the chance to really talk to him," Nico insists, cutting him off. It's true - Nico'd been far too busy brooding alone in his cabin about how Percy could act so normal after what happened, like the answer wasn't obviously that Percy isn't the one who's been in love with him for fucking years -
No. Too dangerous a thought to have while Percy's staring at him, while he still can't seem to keep his mouth shut. He swings his legs off the bed and stands.
"I get it," Percy insists, resting his arms on his knees and watching as Nico rights his shirt and runs his fingers through his hair a few times, "Really. Not like I can expect you to trust me..."
Nico pauses, frowning down at Percy, a little caught off guard.
"It's not that," he finally admits, quiet but certain, because of course it isn't that.
"I just didn't know if 'pay me back later' was like, that kind of thing."
"What kind of thing?"
Nico shrugs, like his stomach isn't twisting itself into a knot for even suggesting this would be an option.
"Like a, 'break up with your boyfriend' thing."
Percy laughs, and it's that same one from the beginning - short, dry, and... resigned. It's resignation that Nico couldn't put his finger on before, plain as day in Percy's words.
"It doesn't have to be."
Percy's non-committal answer should really not put so much warmth back under Nico's skin, except - it's like Nico has his finger in that crack now, wedged into Percy's shell, and he can suddenly feel how thin it is, how transparent. How easily he could tear it.
... that probably shouldn't make him feel so warm, either.
"We can keep... whatever you want, if you want," Percy continues, voice carefully even, "while you decide about ending things with Solace."
"That wouldn't bother you?" Nico asks, curious even if the idea that he's still deciding anything is the most preposterous, hilarious joke.
"Not if it doesn't bother you. I mean, I think you can do better than a babysitter, but take your time, think it over. There's a lot of summer left, not like I'm going anywhere."
Maybe years ago, Percy shrugging at the prospect of being an accessory to cheating would've been a shock but, he's different now. They're both different now, and for all that Nico's feelings refuse to die, his rose-colored glasses are long gone.
Nico still pauses, unsure of what he's ready to say as Percy looks him over and settles that half-smile back on his face, the one that puts a very different kind of knot in Nico's stomach, even if now it's hard to see it as anything but a subtle deflection. Percy Jackson, subtle? The wonders never cease -
"Hey, I don't know - maybe it's fine with you that he makes heart eyes at corn -"
- and there it is.
"Oh, go fuck yourself, Jackson."
"I'm just saying, not here to judge what goes on between two - well, one consenting adult and one vegetable -"
"I'm fucking leaving."
Nico turns to the door and tries not to smile at the sound of Percy scrambling to get up behind him.
"Okay okay okay, what might bother me though -"
He tries not to melt when Percy catches his arm just as he's pulling on the handle.
"- is, I'm not sure all that really 'paid me back'."
He tries, and immediately fails, to ignore Percy grinning down at him, right where they started in the doorway.
"No?"
Well, maybe not right where they started. Notable differences include: Percy's complete lack of shirt, how close their mouths are to touching, and Nico's - possibly related - desire to throw himself head-long into whatever this is becoming, and worry about what it all means later.
"Yeah, think I came out just a little bit on top of you here," Percy says, and the shine that Nico's startled laugh puts in his eyes is impossible to ignore.
"Is that so?"
"Sure, I mean - comfortable... ish bed, nice private cabin, versus trapped between sharp rocks, blood-thirsty monsters listening in? Feels like I probably owe you now, is what I'm saying."
"Hmm, that's an interesting point," Nico says with a hum as he pretends to consider it, pretends there's anything for him to consider when it comes to Percy Jackson.
"Well... those infirmary beds still aren't broken in, whenever you want to even the score."