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Living with the the members of crown had been both strange and delightful. You had developed relationships with each of them individually, but whenever William was near, your heartbeat sped up. You gravitated towards each other without realizing what was happening.
You were sitting outside on a bench, twirling a flower between your fingers. A familiar feeling was settling inside you, and as much as you tried to ignore it and reject it, it still came upon you. It was like an unwanted friend coming to visit. You knew what followed when you felt like this. You thought it wouldn’t happen while living in the castle because you were happy, yet here you were.
Roger stood at the window watching you with his brow furrowed. William joined Roger, curious what he was doing. “ You’re not usually one to enjoy the view.” Then William saw what Roger was looking at, and a small smile graced his lips. “ She’s unwell.” William watched you trying to see any sign of sickness, but he didn’t see it. “ She looks fine to me.” Roger shook his head. “Stop with the love sickness, will you?” William was caught off guard. “ I am not lovesick.” Roger sighed, “ Whatever, if you’d been paying attention the last couple of days, you’d see how withdrawn she’s become, but you’ve been gone on missions and whatever else you’ve been doing.” William narrowed his eyes, “ Are you trying to start a fight?” Roger sighed, “ No, I’m not. I just don’t like seeing her suffer like this.” William sighed, “ What do we do?”
Roger turned towards William, “ We get her to talk, we distract her. We listen. We do whatever it takes.”
The wind picked up, and you let it carry the flower away. Unaware of your audience, you got up and walked back inside to your room. You weren’t in the mood to be around anyone. You sat in the reading chair in your room and curled up in a blanket , with your legs tucked in. You looked out the window, the spring sun beat down on you, but no matter how nice it felt, you just didn’t have the energy to enjoy it. You must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing you knew, someone was knocking on your door. “ Come in.” You were too groggy to answer the door. It was Liam, and he wore a wide smile upon seeing you. “ Were you taking a nap? You look sleepy.” You nodded, “ Well, dinner is ready.”
“Oh, okay.” You uncovered yourself from the blanket and walked with Liam down to the dining room. He had a hard time keeping a conversation going, so he stopped, and his eyes bore into yours. “Is something wrong? You don’t seem like yourself.” You shook your head, “Don’t worry about me, I’ve just been tired lately, that’s all.” He raised an eyebrow, “ If you say so, not sure I believe you though. You can talk to me, y’know? About anything.” You nodded, “ I know, Liam, thank you” He smiled and patted you on the cheek. “ Let’s go eat.”
At dinner, everyone was lively as normal, but you remained silent unless someone was directly talking to you. Victor’s gaze landed on you. “ You’ve been quiet, are you feeling alright?” You waved him off. “ Oh, I’m just a bit tired tonight. I’ll probably go to bed early.” Victor smiled sincerely, “ See that you get good rest, we can’t have our fairytale keeper getting sick.” You forced a smile. “ I will.”
Roger and William shared a concerned look, and William touched your hand. You looked next to you, where his ruby eyes studied you. “ I’d like to take you out tomorrow. I have a couple of errands to run, then I thought we could find a play to see or do some shopping. I don’t know, we’ll see what we can find to do.” All of that sounded really nice. You haven’t gone out with him like that in weeks. If only you were feeling better. “ That all sounds fun, William, but I need to work on my report.” He tilted his head to the side, “ You can take a break for a couple of hours, I’m not going to take no for an answer, you’re coming, and that’s the end of it.”
Your eyes narrowed, “ Why are you forcing me to go?” Harry cleared his throat, “ He fancies you, and wants you all to himself.” You rolled your eyes, “ Are you going to joke about how he’s supposedly in love with me again?”
“ How is it joking when it’s true? Just like how you fancy him. You two just won’t take the leap, but I guess pinning after each other is cool.” You rolled your eyes, then took your last bite of food, excused yourself, and went to your room. Where you got into your nightgown and settled into bed. You couldn’t get your mind to settle down to where you could actually sleep. How were you going to get out of going into town with William? You could fake being sick. Oh, how you hated this. You didn’t want to lie to William, but you didn’t know if you could go in the state you were in.
You watched the shadows of the trees dancing on your wall; you watched mindlessly. You felt like you were being torn in two. You didn’t want to be like this anymore. You wanted to be happy. You didn’t want to feel this heaviness anymore. Tears made their appearance and streamed down your face while you quietly sobbed. At least you tried to make it quiet.
William was on his way to his room when he passed by and heard your cries. He stopped in his tracks, and gingerly opened the door, closing it behind him as he entered the room. You didn’t hear it over your sobs, but the scent of roses filled your nostrils, and you knew he was there. He made long strides towards your bed and sat on the edge. The bed momentarily dipped under his weight.
“ What has got you so upset, robin?” You couldn’t speak, and you didn’t want to look at him. You didn’t want him to see you in such a state.William didn’t want to believe Roger. He didn’t want to see you hurting. He wasn’t quite sure how to comfort you, but he knew he had to do something. He could use his power and will the hurt away, but it would always be there just under the surface waiting to escape, and would he have to do it each time you got like this? He wondered if this happened often.
He put his hand on your back and began rubbing. It was soothing, but it only made you cry harder. “ Y-you don’t need to be here, you should go.” You spoke between sobs.
“ I’m not going to leave when you’re like this. I’ll stay all night if that’s what it takes.”
“ I feel crazy,” you put your hands over your face as you sobbed.
“Come here,” He gently pulled your body up and looked into your emotional, confused eyes. He cupped your face with both hands and wiped the tears away, only for more tears to fall. “Take some deep breaths and try to calm down. Do it with me, in and out.” He inhaled and then exhaled, and you copied him. “ That’s a good girl.” Once your breathing evened out and your tears dried up, you put your head on his chest, and he began running his fingers through your hair.
“ I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but it will be okay.” You sniffled and listened to his steady heartbeat. “ You need to talk about it. That’s the only way you’ll start feeling better.” You nodded
“ I know, but no one understands.” He grimaced, imagining the treatment you had received from other people
“ I may not understand, but I won’t judge, and it’ll feel better to talk about it. You can’t keep it in.” Remaining on his chest, you took a deep breath. It felt natural to be here with William like this. You sat up and looked at him, but feeling nervous, you immediately looked down and started toying with the hem on the blanket.
He delicately took your chin between his fingers and lifted your head, so you were forced to look into his crimson eyes. “ Now, I know there’s no way that blanket is that interesting. Talk to me, _ _ _, tell me your story. Tears stung at your eyes once again, and you were thankful when you were able to blink them away. You nodded and took a deep breath. You cleared your throat.
“ Every so often, I get this way. It’s more than feeling sad.” William listened intently.
“ Explain the feeling to me.”
“ It’s feeling numb, just going through the motions of daily life. It’s just surviving. It’s feeling hopeless and worthless. I’m always tired, and even when I’m not, all I want to do is sleep, because when I’m asleep, it stops. It’s like the despair takes over, and all happiness is snuffed out. Some days I don’t even want to get out of bed. It’s hard to carry on. Then sometimes I feel too much, and all I can do is cry. I’m at war with myself, and my sickness is winning.” You blinked slowly and avoided his intense eyes, “ It’s really hard, Will. I can usually tell when it’s about to happen cause I stop finding joy in things, I stop wanting to do the things that I enjoy.”
He reached out and stroked your cheek with his knuckles, “ That sounds miserable, and just so you know, you aren’t worthless. How long have you been experiencing this?” You looked back up
“ Since I was an adolescent, and there’s no telling when it’ll happen. I get moody, snappy, and angry, and on the inside I’m screaming for it to stop.”
“ You’ve got it rough, and I’m sorry you have to suffer so much. How can I help you through this?”
“ Honestly? Just you being here, talking to me, is helping. I don’t really know William, I just have to go through it, and after a week or two, I start feeling better.”
“ Distractions might help, so if you're thinking of not coming with me tomorrow, forget it, you’re coming, it’ll be good for you.” You grumbled. “ I’m going to do everything I can so you aren’t hurting so much.” You looked at him tenderly, and all you saw swimming in his eyes was honesty. “ William, you really don’t have to,” he smiled warmly, “ No, but I want to.”
You shook your head. “ I’d understand if you can’t I know It’s a lot.” He took your hand and squeezed. “ If I say I will, then I will.” He shifted, “ Let’s get you to bed. You seem tired.” You nodded, “ crying makes one tired.” You crawled under the covers, he looked down at you from where he was standing and petted your head. “ William, will you stay? Just until I fall asleep, please.” He began sitting down, and you scooted over so you could make room for his body. Then he laid down, placing his head on the pillow.
“ Thank you, William,” He nodded with a tender smile. “ I’d do just about anything for you. You know that, right?” Your eyes widened, “ Wh-what are you saying?” you said, exasperated, “ I’m saying that you’ve worked your way into my black heart, and made a place for yourself there. I care about you _ _ _, more than you know.” He cupped your cheek and rubbed your cheekbone with his thumb. He smiled. “ What’s happening between you and me, I haven’t felt this type of emotion before. I want to keep you all to myself.” You blushed as he poured his feelings out to you. “ I hope you feel the same about me. If you don’t, I’ll understand. I’m a hard person to love. I’ll back off.” You took his hand and laced your fingers with his. He watched you do this as if it were in slow motion. “ I don’t think you’re a hard person to love, I find it easy actually.” He was taken off guard with your comment, but flashed you a tender smile. “I know I’m not in my right mind right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel what’s happening between us. I feel the same, William. My feelings for you are beyond what I’ve ever experienced before.”
He searched your face, and ran his thumb over your bottom lip. His face came closer to yours until he pressed his soft, full lips upon yours. He kissed you softly, as you moved your mouth with his, he squeezed your hand, and you squeezed back. He deepened the kiss, and he kissed you fiercely and with fervor. His hand went to the back of your head, his fingers tangling into your hair. When you finally pulled away, you were both breathing heavily, gasping for air.
“ I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into. You’re mine now.” You gazed at him lovingly, “ I’m okay with that. William, I love you.” He kissed your brow, “ And I love you. Now sleep, and tomorrow we’ll go out even if I have to get you dressed myself.” You inhaled deeply. “ I’ll try my best.” He smiled and brought your hand up and kissed the back of it. “ That’s all I ask, now sleep.”
“ Will you stay with me tonight?” He nodded
“ Yes, I’ll stay”
“ Thank you,” He stood up, took off his shoes and coat. Then climbed into the bed next to you, covering himself with the blankets. You rested your head on his arm as he pulled you close and wrapped an arm around your waist. “ Sleep, my love.” You closed your eyes, and that night, you both fell into a comfortable, soothing sleep. With William by your side you were sure that facing the internal storm wouldn’t be so bad.