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Kakashi made his way towards Iruka’s home. There were still people wandering about town in the waning light of sunset. Kakashi nodded to a few of them as he passed but didn’t stop to speak to anyone. He was home much earlier than planned from his mission. It had been a simple B rank to retrieve some reconnaissance reports from an outpost on the edge of Fire country. These assignments were commonly referred to as rehabilitation runs by those that handed them out. Basic missions given to those shinobi who were recovered or recovering well enough from injuries gained on other missions to handle mildly physically taxing expeditions but were not well enough for all out combat. Kakashi privately felt that they would have been more appropriately named “get bored jonin out of Tsunade’s hair before she undoes all the effort she put into healing them” runs. That however, was a mouthful so rehab runs it was. The mission had gone textbook perfect. Kakashi and his team of Anko (recovering from what had obviously been a rather unpleasant and very hands-on encounter with some missing-nin from Hidden Grass if the still present cuts and crooked state of her knuckles were anything to go by,) Jin, a newly minted tokubetsu jonin that specialized in poisons (who was still recovering from a new special snake and spider venom blend he had created and then promptly nearly murdered himself with by getting the mixture in a small cut under his nail) and Raidou (who looked like he had gone ten rounds repeatedly smashing his face into the side of a very unaccommodating mountain. Raidou had confided to Kakashi that he had been healed a good deal in Konoha hospital which Kakashi found hard to believe given the state of Raidou’s face.) Without even the slightest hint of enemy intervention, they made it to the rendezvous point and back nearly ten hours ahead of schedule. Kakashi could tell both Anko and Jin were disappointed with such a smooth, and Kakashi had to agree, boring mission. Raidou however seemed pleased. Kakashi got the impression that the other man was still sore and was truly glad to have some more time to rest. Kakashi himself was glad to be within Konoha’s walls. His chakra reserves were low and despite a week's time spent recovering he still could feel the sharp claws of exhaustion creeping in even with the ease of their mission.
Kakashi should have been going to his own home to rest but he wanted to check in with Iruka. The thought had been gnawing at him since he had left. Iruka had been lethargic and his skin had felt just a touch feverish when Kakashi had given him a chaste kiss on his cheek goodbye. It was ridiculous really. They had danced around each other for ages, never really surrendering to the simmering attraction until this past month when they had ended up in bed together. They had spent every moment since then that Kakashi wasn’t on missions or recovering and Iruka wasn’t in class or working the mission room wrapped up in each other. And now Kakashi would rather spend a night recovering in Iruka’s home even if the man was ill, than anywhere else.
Kakashi came to Iruka’s apartment and was surprised to find it dark with the doors locked and all the traps set. A quick reconnaissance around the building assured Kakashi that Iruka was simply not home rather than asleep. Kakashi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. It seemed he had worried for no reason. If Iruka was well enough to work the mission room then he certainly not did not need Kakashi fussing over him. Kakashi debated going to his own home but decided against it. Instead he entertained himself by circumventing Iruka's security to sneak in through the bedroom window. He made himself comfortable on Iruka’s bed, pulled out his book and settled in to wait.
Kakashi sat on the bed in the dark of Iruka’s room. It had long past the time when the mission room would have closed. Kakashi had read through his book in it’s entirety and gone back to skim the fun bits just for good measure. It had even passed the time where any of the bars in Konoha would have turned their lights out for the night (Kakashi had given a passing fancy to the idea that Iruka had decided to cut loose on a school night.). It was pressing into the hours when the birds would begin chirping at the first light of dawn and Iruka still was not home. He had obviously found another bed to sleep in. Kakashi breathed in slowly through his nose and out through his mouth. The rage that was building wasn’t much of a surprise but the anguish was. Kakashi felt ill with it. He felt betrayed, more so because it was Iruka. Kakashi might have expected it from anyone else but not Iruka. The man was unfailingly loyal and he seemed to take the greatest care with the most hopeless cases from Naruto to Kakashi himself. But Kakashi was sitting alone, in Iruka’s bed, waiting for him to come home which obviously wasn’t going to happen. Kakashi was beginning to wonder if he wanted to be there when it did.
Kakashi supposed it was logical. He wasn’t much of a prize if one was looking at it from Iruka’s perspective. Kakashi was often away on missions. When he was in Konoha he was almost always physically incapacitated. Kakashi was socially awkward and not exactly the type to share his feelings. He rarely socialized with anyone outside of Guy and wasn’t much for small talk. He couldn’t promise Iruka that he would be around when Iruka wanted or more importantly, needed him. He would appear and disappear in Iruka’s life at a moment’s notice and it was highly likely that he would die long before Iruka would. And it was unlikely there would even be a body for Iruka to mourn over. No. Iruka finding someone more suitable was perfectly reasonable. The thought still left Kakashi gutted. He stayed sitting on Iruka’s bed and wondered how Iruka would break it to him, how he would explain himself. Kakashi wondered for a moment if he should spare the other man the trouble or if he should wait until Iruka ended it, giving Kakashi time to soak up whatever affection he could before it was all taken away. Kakashi mentally prepared himself by visualizing all ways in which Iruka could end it and all the counter arguments Iruka would give to Kakashi’s carefully constructed pleas to stay.
The room had started to lighten enough for Kakashi to be able to distinguish the shape of all the furniture in the room without the sharingan or any chakra whatsoever, when he heard the door open. He folded his chakra even tighter in towards himself and took a calming breath. He focused all of his efforts inward. He would keep very careful control over himself. There was nothing to do but meet the inevitable head on. Kakashi could hear the sound of Iruka’s sandals dropping from his feet at the front door. He shuffled down the hall. He let out a muffled yawn just outside the bedroom door. Kakashi couldn’t stop the bitter twist to his lips that noise caused. The door swung open and the doorway was filled with a shape that was distinctly not Iruka. Kakashi’s body moved on it’s own. He had the other man pinned to the wall before he even consciously thought about doing it.
“What are you doing here?” Kakashi snarled. The other man wheezed and struggled in Kakashi’s hold. Kakashi pressed his arm harder on the other man’s throat. “Answer me!”
“Clothes.” He managed to get out. Kakashi studied him for a moment. He recognized him. He was one of Iruka’s chunin friends. Ko-something or other. Kakashi didn’t really pay attention. Although Kakashi could pick out a very specific memory of him with an arm draped over Iruka’s shoulders while they both laughed with a warm tint to their cheeks. They had looked intimate. More intimate than Kakashi really wanted to think about when he was in the perfect position to kill the man. Killing a Leaf Shinobi went against the Will of Fire that Kakashi clung to in his darkest moments. The temptation at that moment to violate his few remaining morals was nearly overwhelming.
“Why are you looking for clothes here?” Kakashi demanded .
“For Iruka. In the hospital.”
“Iruka is in the hospital?” Kakashi asked. He dropped his hold and took a step back. The other man gasped for air before breaking out in uncontrollable coughing. “Is Iruka in the hospital?”
A nod was the only answer the other man could manage through the coughing. It was all Kakashi needed before he took off out the door and leapt to the rooftops. Kakashi made it halfway to the hospital before he found himself surrounded by an ANBU cell. Kakashi stopped and dropped down to the middle of the road where he could be clearly seen by all of them. He didn’t want any motion he made to be misconstrued as an attack.
“Is there something wrong, Hatake-san?” The ANBU in a hawk mask asked.
“I need to get to the hospital.” Kakashi replied. He took a deep breath and tried to reign in his wildly fluctuating chakra.
“Are you injured?” Hawk asked.
“No.” Kakashi snapped “I just need to get to the hospital.”
“Hatake-san. You need to control your killing intent. It’s disturbing to others.” Hawk informed him. Kakashi nodded and grunted in reply. He was aware that his feelings were boiling out through his skin.
“Wait!” Kakashi turned towards the voice. “Hatake-san. Please, wait.”
The man from Iruka's apartment dropped down in the road next to Hawk and seemingly without thought, put a hand on the ANBU’s shoulder to use him as a support. He took several gasping breaths before he gave Kakashi a tentative smile.
“Iruka is fine. He’s simply in recovery from surgery.”
“Kotetsu, are you alright?” Hawk asked. Kakashi could tell the two knew each other outside the mask. Only a trusted shinobi could casually touch an ANBU.
“I’m fine. Hatake-san just completely outpaced me.” Kotetsu replied. Kakashi realized that Kotetsu had a bundle of clothes tucked under one arm. Kakashi stared at him for a moment. Kotetsu flushed and straightened seeming to realize he was using an ANBU as a crutch. He fidgeted with the bundle of clothes.
“Get it under control Hatake-san. Your lover being in the hospital does not exempt you from having common courtesy towards your fellow Leaf shinobi.” Hawk gave Kakashi a sharp jerk of his head as if to reinforce the reprimand.
Kakashi nodded and took another calming breath. Kotetsu seemed at ease, cheerful even. Kakashi realized that he might have overreacted slightly. Kakashi took a moment to be privately pleased that it seemed to be common knowledge that he and Iruka were lovers. He hoped his reputation alone scared off any of Iruka’s would be suitors, shinobi or otherwise.
“I’ve got him.” Kotetsu said. Hawk stared for a moment then nodded in acknowledgement. The ANBU team scattered into Konoha’s shadows. Kotetsu’s voice was a little gravelly and Kakashi felt guilt strike him. Kotetsu jerked his head in the general direction of the hospital. “Shall we go?”
“Yes.” Kakashi said, quietly. Kakashi tried moving at a more sedate pace. His fingers itched to pull out his book to read. Anything to fill the space and ease Kakashi’s sense of being out of place. They walked in silence a short distance. Kotetsu cleared his throat a few times and was trying to not stare at Kakashi as they walked side by side down the street.
“I’m sorry about.” Kakashi gestured lamely towards his own neck.
“Oh! I’m alright. Just a little sore.” Kotetsu replied. “I was pretty surprised to find you there. I was told you wouldn’t be back from your mission until today.”
“I see.” Kakashi said. He mulled the words over.
“Yeah,” Kotetsu grinned. “I was expressly instructed to keep my eye out for you on my shift at the gate today so I could let you know that Iruka was recovering nicely and there was no reason to be concerned. Iruka worries a lot so I think he assumes that everyone else does too.”
“Ah.” Kakashi couldn’t really think of a way to continue the conversation. He just wanted to see Iruka for himself and assess his condition. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Iruka’s friend but finding Kotetsu in Iruka’s apartment while Kakashi’s worst-case scenario mindset was working overtime had left him incredibly unsettled.
“Hatake-san, can you do something for me? Since you’re going to check up on Iruka anyway, could you take his clothes to him? I have to start gate duty pretty soon and I haven’t had a chance to eat yet.” Kakashi nodded in response and held his hands out for Iruka’s clothing. Kotetsu dropped them into Kakashi’s waiting arms. “Thanks! Tell Iruka to send word when he’s feeling up for some company. Izumo and I will drop by and try to keep him out of trouble.”
With a wave Kotetsu lept up to the roof tops and sped in the direction of Konoha’s main gate. Kakashi stopped at the nearest bench. He carefully sorted and folded the bundle of Iruka’s clothing making sure that all the items he would need were there. It seemed despite being choked and having to chase Kakashi down, Kotetsu had managed to gather all the clothing that Iruka had likely requested. Kakashi had a vague hope that maybe Iruka wouldn’t find out that about the incident between himself and Kotetsu but he didn’t hold out much hope. Iruka had the distinct ability to ferret out misbehaviour in others. Kakashi doubted it would take longer than a day for Iruka to learn about Kakashi assaulting his friend. Kakashi sighed to himself. Iruka would be extremely unimpressed. Kakashi’s apology would need to be exceptional. He collected the clothes and walked briskly to the hospital.
A quick inquiry at the main desk and an over friendly nurse had led him directly to Iruka’s room. Kakashi could tell Iruka was feigning sleep when he entered the room. Iruka had a certain way of sprawling when he was truly asleep that Kakashi found fascinating. It had never occurred to him that any shinobi other than Naruto could sleep taking up as much of their surrounding real estate as possible but Iruka did it all the time. Their first few nights together Kakashi had woken whenever Iruka shifted which ended up being quite often. Kakashi had gently arranged their limbs so they could both sleep in a position that Kakashi had thought was comfortable. One night, nearly a week later and Kakashi had been to exhausted to wake when Iruka began his nighttime meanderings around his bed, the result was Iruka lying at a forty-five degree to Kakashi, his head resting on Kakashi’s collar bone and one leg folded so it was nearly tucked under him. The other was propped up so that it went right up the wall. Iruka at the moment, was sleeping in a perfect line with his hands resting along his sides. HIs skin looked sallow and there were dark smudges under his eyes. He had an IV snaking into one arm but his breathing seemed regular.
“How are you feeling?” Kakashi asked, quietly. Iruka’s eyes sprang open immediately.
“Kakashi.” Iruka almost sighed his name with a smile. Iruka shifted and grimaced as he tried to sit up.
“Iruka, stop.” Kakashi was across the room instantly, putting a hand on Iruka’s shoulder to press him back into the bed. “Lay back.”
“I’m glad you’re home.” Iruka’s smile didn’t wane but it looked tired as he eased back into the bed. “You’re early.”
“It was a boring mission. I didn’t end up in the hospital.” Kakashi gave Iruka a searching look. Iruka let out a laugh that was more of a huff.
“There’s a first time for everything.” Iruka grinned as his eyes slid shut.
“Iruka, what happened?” Kakashi asked. Iruka opened his eyes and gave him a confused look. “Ko didn’t explain it to you?” Iruka asked. He was mumbling a bit. Kakashi shook his head. Kakashi hoped that Iruka was too tired to notice the jealous light in his eyes at hearing Iruka shorten Kotetsu’s name. “I didn’t have the flu. It was appendicitis. A few hours after you left I started throwing up. I couldn’t keep anything down, even water and then the fever became really intense. Ko and Izumo came by for a visit and dragged me here when I started shivering so hard I bit my tongue. I’m pretty sure I vomited about five times between here and my house. I really didn’t think it was anything other than a bad flu. I should have realized I was really sick when Tsunade, Shizune and Sakura showed up not too long after I was admitted. They did some tests and then the next thing I knew they were tossing me on a gurney and putting me into surgery. The surgery was pretty minor all things considered.”
“It doesn’t look minor.” Kakashi replied. Iruka closed his eyes and sighed. The door opened and Kakashi glanced at Sakura as she walked into the room. Iruka’s eyes were warm when they looked at her. It was easy to see the pride on his face.
“Good morning Kakashi-sensei. How are you feeling Iruka-sensei?” Sakura asked. She smiled and came to stand on the other side of Iruka’s bed.
“Tired. I would sleep better at home.” Iruka replied. The man didn’t even pretend to be sly he simply turned the full weight on his stare on Sakura and waited. She huffed and returned the stare with a special blend of her own irritation and a fair impression of Tsunade’s no nonsense glare.
“I’ll check with Tsunade-sama,” Sakura relented.
“Thank you Sakura-chan.”
“You shouldn’t press her for early release.” Kakashi said. He realized his mistake when he got twin looks of astonishment from Sakura and Iruka.
“That’s hilarious coming from you.” Iruka said dryly. Sakura just rolled her eyes and muttered something that was likely rude under her breath.
“You had surgery.” Kakashi said.
“It’s really only a few small incisions.” Sakura explained. “He’s mostly healed but I’m sure he’s sore from vomiting so violently. The biggest problem was that his appendix perforated. It’s why he was so ill. We’re still treating him for dehydration. I’m sure Tsunade-sama will agree to let him go home once he’s has one more round of IV antibiotics and we’re sure his fluids are good.”
Iruka smiled happily at Sakura.
“He still needs plenty of rest. You’ll have to keep a close eye on him.” Sakura moved close and gave Kakashi a conspiratorial grin. “You have my permission to restrain him in anyway necessary. As long as it doesn’t aggravate his incisions.”
“You’ve been spending too much time with Ino.” Kakashi muttered. He was absolutely certain the blush showed over his mask. “Young ladies these days.”
“Ha. She’s spent more time with you and the rest of team seven than anyone since she graduated from the Academy. I’m sure that behaviour is your fault.” Iruka huffed. “You and your filthy books.”
“I never let her read them.” Kakashi tried to defend himself. Sakura, the traitor, giggled behind her hands seemingly delighted with Kakashi’s embarrassment and Iruka reprimanding him. “You’re getting me in trouble. Don’t you have other patients to take care of?”
“I’m going on the rest of my rounds as soon as I’m done here. I have instructions to take special care of Iruka-sensei.” Sakura replied primly. Kakashi watched her fuss with the IV bag and her efficient movements as she checked, then changed Iruka’s bandages and all the while discussing proper after surgery care with him. She was certainly coming along nicely under the Godaime’s tutelage. Even if the reason Sakura began her medi-nin training pained him, seeing Sakura finding her own shinobi way made him proud. “Tsunade-sama should be here closer to lunchtime. I’ll let her know that you’d like to go home. She’s probably want to examine you before she’ll allow it so I will try to get her here as soon as she’s available.”
“Thank-you Sakura-chan.” Iruka said and meant it. Kakashi smiled and gave her a small wave. She gave Kakashi a grin then strode out of the room with purpose.
“She’s grown up so much.” Iruka observed. He sounded a little wistful.
“I hate what happened,” Kakashi paused and sat down in on one of the hard plastic chairs meant for guests that was positioned next to Iruka’s bed. He put his hand gently over Iruka’s. “But I think it turned out the best for Sakura. She’s becoming an excellent medi-nin. It’s an option that won’t have occured to me if the team was still together. I had already began giving her specialized genjutsu training since she was such a natural at it. This didn’t really cross my mind beyond basic field first aid.”
“Kakashi, it isn’t your fault.” Iruka said, gently. He laced their fingers together and it warmed Kakashi through. “None of it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it now.” Kakashi replied.
“But-”
“Iruka, you’re in the hospital. You’ve had abdominal surgery. You were violently sick for days. We’ll talk about it another time. You’re supposed to be resting.” Kakashi said firmly. “Let me take care of you, Iruka.”
“From the worst patient in history to steadfast caregiver. You are quick to adapt Kakashi-sensei.” Iruka teased. He sobered after a moment. “You can talk to me about as much or as little of it as you’d like Kakashi. I’m here whenever you need me.”
“I know.” Kakashi replied. Even if a few hours ago he hadn’t. Not deep down inside. But knowing that Iruka had made a point of wanting Kakashi to be informed when he was incapacitated, had specifically asked his friends to let Kakashi know what happening, made the anguish almost worth it. It also reinforced that any chance Kakashi had to back away before he was emotionally compromised was long gone. Oddly enough, Kakashi found the realization freeing. It had already happened. There was nothing that he could do to stop it and all that was left was to enjoy it. “And being a terrible patient means I know all the tactics you could employ. You’re going to be taken care of properly. There is no escape.”
Iruka laughed and winced.
“No Jokes. Laughing makes my stomach hurt.” Iruka admitted. He rubbed at his stomach with his free hand.
“No jokes.” Kakashi agreed. “Close your eyes and rest.”
“I know I need more rest and I should tell you to go home and do the same but I really like having you here.” Iruka confessed and squeezed Kakashi’s hand.
“I know I need to rest and that I should leave you in peace here, but I want to be here with you until you can go home.” Kakashi leaned forward and gave Iruka a soft kiss on the cheek. He moved his chair so that it was parallel to and as close to Iruka’s bed as he could get. He angled himself to rest his head against Iruka’s shoulder when he slouched in the chair just right. “So we’ll both sleep as much as we can here until you're discharged. And then I will take care of you at home.”
“Kakashi, thank you for being here.” Iruka sighed.
“Go to sleep.” Kakashi said and hoped that his gratitude for being allowed to stay and for being wanted was implied.
End