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Kasper let his bleary eyes wander across his apartment as he took it in
It was beyond trashed.
There were odd stains on the floor and select bits of the lower wall, a few of his posters were missing, cans of all different kinds of energy drinks littered the coffee table and his desk, the lights instead of being comfortably dim felt like staring into the sun, there was this weird stench coming from who knows where and most importantly, he didn't have a couch. The bright red one he vaguely remembers having from his time as Infected being thrown out
As concerned as he should be by someone breaking into his house while he was recovering in the hospital, he was glad that it was gone. His head hurts just by thinking of the virus-riddled hunk of furniture.
He'll... Clean up later. Maybe when his entire body wasn't aching from the parasite forcing itself out of his body a few months prior.
(Was it normal to still be hurting?)
Kasper drags himself to his room, sets down his bag and basically throws himself into his bed and fighting with his jacket to get it off not long after
He rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling, being met with the sight of what he assumes is all of his pencils somehow jammed into the ceiling. He can only let out an exhausted growl as he turns to lie on his stomach, lying his head sideways and greeting the sickening sight of scars littering his forearms.
He couldn't even begin to fathom why Infected did this to itself, to HIS body. Infected's treatment of it led him to be exhausted, overweight and littered with scars almost all over.
It forced itself into his head, it doesn't deserve to be unhappy with itself. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to get punished for this thing's suffering.
God, he hated Infected. It's done nothing but ruin his life and cause harm to everyone around it. It ruined his relationship with his friends, with Lampert. And now he has to scramble to pick up the crushed pieces before they were nothing but sand.
If he could break that thing's nose, he swears he would for all the damage it caused both to his body and his social life.
Kasper freezes at the thought, clutching his pillow as his eyes slowly widen
Fuck, this isn't like him at all. He didn't want to hurt people, that just wasn't him..
What would people think of this if they knew? If they found out he wanted to kill-
Kill?
Did he want to kill Infected..?
Yes and no??
No because it's wrong, obviously, but he just can't seem to get the thought out of his head. Killing something that's already dead, that's absurd.
What if Lampert found out? God, he'd probably think he was a monster and then actually not want to talk to him.
Guilt for an action he would never be able to go through with even if he truly wanted to started to make home in his mind and his gut with hints of anxiety following suit.
He forces himself to stand up, moving so fast he almost blacks out only to catch himself at the last second, slowly moving himself back onto his bed.
He sits there for a minute or so, making sure the dizziness goes away before slowly rising again
Maybe he should get a drink... A little snack maybe. Some games to calm him down, yeah...
He's quick to make it to his kitchen and starts digging around, settling on popcorn and tossing the bag into the microwave then digging through a cupboard and putting a large bowl on the counter
He takes the time to open the fridge and nearly startles at how many Monster cans are in the fridge, let alone how many are actually open. With a frown forming on his face he digs through his fridge and manages to find a few Bloxy Colas, taking them out before moving back to the microwave.
He opens the door just before the microwave blares and empties the bag into the bowl
He then grabs all of his stuff and heads to his room, tossing the bag in the trash as he walks by
Kasper pushes his door open, sets his food on his bed and drags himself to his TV, booting up his game cube. He flops back on his bed and starts munching away