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The deep blue water rippled and glowed with translucent pastels, bobbing mesmerisingly as the funny shapes traversed their space. Each one a little marshmallow island with a gelatinous finish like a fresh pannacotta. The group remarked on the absurdity of how something so transfixing and beautiful could hurt you like hell.
“They’re misunderstood,” Isaac answered, a touch of snippiness clearly communicating jellyfish slander would not be welcomed on his watch.
The group gazed at the tank for a while longer before eventually Darcy lost patience. They were generally the most passionate champion of Isaac’s endeavours, but they had the attention span of a gnat.
“Alright my Ace-of-Diamonds!” Darcy exclaimed, draping a jovial arm around Isaac’s neck. “You know I’ll never turn down a trip to the zoo – the cute stuffies in the gift shop are reason enough to come – but, any chance you’ll tell us why we’ve been summoned here?”
Eight heads swivelled towards Isaac who momentarily seemed startled by the attention, before remembering he’d insisted they meet him in front of the jellyfish at this time.
“Well,” he started, before clearing his throat, “you know this is my happy place, and somewhere I love to share with you. I’ve an affinity with these little guys!” Isaac glanced towards his floaty friends with hearts in his eyes. Tao affectionately squeezed Isaac’s arm, but otherwise everyone knew well enough not to crowd him when he wanted to tell them something – Isaac always got there in his own time and way.
“So, I have some pretty exciting news.” Looking around his semi-circle of found family, Isaac smiled sweetly and his eyes sparkled. “My book is finally getting launched!”
A cacophony of whooping, cheering and jubilation broke out with the group pulling Isaac into a messy huddle, clapping him on his back and grinning, overjoyed for their friend.
With a smile even broader than when he heard the news about The Devil Wears Prada 2, Isaac’s chest puffed with pride. “It’s been a long road, but the publishers have announced a launch date, with a big schmoozy industry event for the launch night. I was offered four personal tickets, but of course I’ve pushed for each of you to come. After all, you supported me through the blood, sweat, tears… and more tears as I wrote the bloody thing!”
A squeal erupted out of Imogen at a pitch typically reserved for bats, as she bounced between her fuschia Crocs and gesticulated wildly – long acrylics almost taking out a few eyes in the process. “A FANCY PARTY! Isaac! This is fabulous! Only a couple of months to prepare though, OMGeeeeee, the pressure is real, guys!”
Although she affectionately eyerolled at her friend, Elle’s reaction was not dissimilar. “Gosh, I’ve been out of the limelight for a bit since I opened the studio, but no doubt there will be press there, so I’ll need to look my best! Design season starts today!”
Wringing his hands, Isaac inhaled deeply. “That kinda brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
The hubbub evaporated rapidly as the group looked to Isaac with a touch of concern.
“Without sounding like a massive dick,” he continued, somewhat sheepishly, “I’d really like this one night to just be about me. You’re all amazing, but you do have a tendency to steal my thunder sometimes? It’s going to be nerve wracking enough with so many eyes on me, and doing a speech and selling myself and this book to god-knows-who, without having to be the bridesmaid at my own wedding, y’know?”
Tao, who was usually a little slower on the uptake with these things, looked affronted. “What do you mean? We never steal your thunder!”
An unnaturally purplish flush swept up from Isaac’s neck as he spluttered for a retort. Hurricane Isaac rarely appeared, but when he did, everyone was done for. And here he was now.
“You’re having a laugh, right?” he challenged with incredulous flecks of spit flying towards Tao. “At my 18th party, you and Elle got so shitfaced on Goldschlager – of all things – the chorus of Happy Birthday stopped midway to watch you vigorously rolling around making out on Dad’s prized Turkish rug! I haven’t looked at buttercream frosting the same way since!”
Tao and Elle had the good sense to look sheepish. Darcy, however, was grinning like they’d stumbled on some epic street theatre. Twisting sharply, Isaac jabbed his index finger towards Nick and Charlie who were, as ever, standing too close together for “just really good mates”.
“And, you two,” he accused, “had a bloody massive fight and broke up during my graduation party, with the whole place scattering to comfort one or other or both of you. Like, I’m sorry you broke up and all, but you’d been together for years, surely one more night of lovers’ bliss wouldn’t have killed you?”
Nick dragged the toe of his black Vans shoe along the aquarium floor and followed the trail it made with his hangdog eyeline, while Charlie nibbled his lip and picked his cuticles. Having an ex-couple in the group was sometimes a little awkward, but everyone acknowledged Isaac had a point. Everyone except Darcy apparently, who was on the verge of taking popcorn orders.
Isaac swivelled again. “And you have some nerve to be chuckling over there like Muttley after stealing my thunder worst of all!” The smile slid halfway off Darcy’s face and Tara blushed in anticipation, already predicting where this was going. “Imagine taking a pregnancy test and announcing the good news on the same night I announced my book deal! Three historical fiction novels don’t stand a chance against a super cute lesbian love child!”
Tara mumbled, “Sorry, Isaac,” but Darcy was not so repentant. “It was day 16 after egg collection, my guy! You can’t seriously have expected us to wait a minute longer than we had to?”
The tiny beads of sweat pricking from Isaac’s furrowed brow strongly suggested he would have expected that very fucking much.
“Even so,” he stated with an air of finality, “I am asking. No, I am begging you. For one evening, in all of this queer little life we’ve spent together, there’s no drama, gossip or distraction, and the attention is ALL ON ME!”
With that, Isaac turned on his heel and strode through the gap in the group circle, leaving everyone else muttering and shuffling behind him. “Come on, slowpokes!” he hollered over his shoulder. “They’ll be feeding the seals soon and we don’t want to miss it.”
🪼🪼🪼
Over the next couple of months, there was a lot of uneventful standard life, mingled with growing excitement for Isaac’s big night. The group chat fizzed with messages debating outfit options and rumours of who might be attending – despite Isaac repeatedly reminding Imogen and Sahar that no one famous cared about launching a debut novel set during the Black Plague.
On the day of the event, Charlie’s bedroom door burst open, interrupting his lazy morning in bed. Tori looked uncharacteristically flustered with her sleek black bob dishevelled, only one arm in her coat and the other sleeve hanging off the side of her petite frame.
“Sorry for barging in,” she panted, rightly acknowledging the poor form to not at least knock first. Adults siblings living together needed well-established boundaries so as to not, well, kill each other probably.
“Have you seen my bloody keys? I couldn’t find my purse or my phone and now I’ve located them, the keys have gone for a walk!”
Charlie, recovered from the surprise of her arrival in his bedroom, smirked, “They’re in your hand, dickhead.”
Glancing down to where a big bunch of jangling keys were clenched in her fist, Tori tutted and muttered, “For fuck’s sake,” before retreating from the bedroom and out of their terraced house with a slam.
Charlie lay stockstill for a few seconds, listening to Tori’s Mini screeching out of the driveway and safely away from the house.
Then the duvet moved.
From the depths below, Nick appeared, red faced and with his auburn fringe slightly stuck to a glistening forehead. “Do you think she knew I was down there?”
Sweaty face be damned, Charlie encouraged Nick further up the bed to land a searing kiss on his lips, swollen from his enthusiastic exertions that had been rudely interrupted by Tori only moments prior.
Charlie grazed his index finger lovingly along Nick’s stubbled jaw and gazed into his caramel eyes, deep pools softened with concern. Smiling, he replied, “No, I can say confidently, if Tori knew you were cowering under the duvet with your face hovering a centimetre above my crotch, she’d have mentioned it!”
Nick gestured to go back down to resume his efforts, but Charlie shook his head. “Thanks love, but she’s a tiny little boner killer. Besides, I’m feeling pretty tender – in the best ways – from last night already, so I’m certainly not complaining about not finishing. Even though your mouth was amazing.”
Shuffling up to lay his head on the pillows, Nick draped his arm around Charlie’s shoulders and pulled him close for a snuggle, resting Charlie’s warm cheek against his arm.
“I can’t believe I get to do this with you again, Char. I’m so happy and grateful.”
Charlie skated his palm across Nick’s soft belly, noting the little trail of auburn hair providing a guideline to Happy Town that Charlie had always loved. “I know. Me too, Nick. Part of me wants to kick myself for being an idiot for the last decade, but mostly I’m really fucking thankful we’re here now. I love you so much.”
Nuzzling Charlie’s black curls with his nose, before planting a delicate kiss amongst them, Nick replied, “I love you too. Always have, always will.”
As they lay contently together, Nick and Charlie half-dozed and half-reminisced about their long journey to get here, to Charlie’s bed, together again. They’d started dating when they were teenagers, before falling hard and fast in love and being each other’s firsts for almost everything. During school they’d been the nucleus of the friendship group and blissfully inseparable, choosing to spend every day laughing and talking, and as many nights as they could get away with wrapped up together in tangled sheets.
But when Nick had chosen a uni in Leeds, with Charlie staying closer to home in London, their desire for constant connection became difficult to manage. Long distance plagued their respective insecurities and with poor communication typical of young students, missing each other manifested through jealousy and bickering. Things finally came to a head at Isaac’s graduation party, when too many drinks and too few wits mingled to create a blazing row in public. Once they’d calmed down, they’d reluctantly admitted the relationship wasn’t making them happy, and a break might be needed to make sure they stayed as best friends.
Somehow, to everyone’s confusion, that break had lasted ten years. Even though Nick and Charlie were head over heels with each other, their friendship felt too precious to risk by changing the dynamic again. Other partners had come and gone, of course, but it had always been Nick and Charlie, still the nucleus of the friendship group, but not together like that.
When their friends or family needled them for not confessing they wanted to reunite, Nick would insist, “It’s not like that anymore, we’re just really good mates!” or Charlie would be adamant, “Look, Nick and I are better as friends. That’s all over.”
Well, at least, it had all been over until the night before. Nick had come round to watch a film, like he did about four nights a week to Tori’s bemusement. She often teased him about owing rent and utilities since he was basically a freeloading housemate.
They’d cuddled together on Charlie’s double bed with the navy blue duvet and yellow sheets to watch The Notebook. Nick had seen it about 500 times before, since it was one of his mum’s favourites.
But something had hit differently this time. While the credits rolled up, he and Charlie rubbed their besocked toes together, lying side-by-side on their tummies, and Nick heard himself asking, slightly croakily before he’d thought it through, “Do you think that kind of love exists? Where you’ve one person meant for you, and you don’t want to live a day without them?”
Charlie had been silent for a moment, a long moment, breathing slowly and so deliberately, Nick saw the slight flare of his nostrils on the exhales. A misty glaze coated Charlie’s eyes. Nick held his own breath as Charlie answered, softly enough Nick could have been convinced he’d imagined it, “Yeah, yeah I definitely do.”
Nick’s heart hammered so hard in his chest, he worried it would deafen out the conversation. He needed a little more. He wished for Charlie to meet him at the edge of the cliff and hold his hand so he’d be brave enough to leap into the blue water he could envisage sparkling below them, the ripples calling them in.
“Yeah?” was all he’d managed, through a bone dry throat. Nick never found words came as easily to him as they seemed to come to Charlie. “You think people have, umm, you think we have that person?”
Charlie’s eyes had flitted down to Nick’s parched lips and back up again. He’d paused, the moment feeling like a torturous hour, and then nodded slowly, “Yes. I think that person is you, Nick.”
The hammering heartbeat soared up to Nick’s head to become rushing blood in his ears and an almost overwhelming sense of elation, like someone had lit the fuse under a bunch of fireworks. He supposed deep down he had known Charlie loved him that way too, but he hadn’t known he knew.
Allowing a wide, goofy smile to beam across his face, Nick took the step forward needed to dive into the cool water, confident now Charlie was clenching his hand. “You’re that person for me too, Charlie. I love you so much.”
Charlie’s eyes welled up with tears and his lip looked a bit wobbly. “You do? You’re not only saying it because I said it, right?”
Nick pushed the pesky laptop out of the way and pulled himself over Charlie’s slender, distractingly sexy frame, bracketing him in a way he’d wanted to for so many years. Half laughing, but too deliriously happy to tease him convincingly, Nick said, “No, you muppet! I’m not just saying it back. You’re my person, Charlie. I want to be with you. For good this time.”
One of the big tears brimming in Charlie’s eye slid down his face and Nick bridged the distance between them to kiss it into his mouth. He trailed his lips until he reached Charlie’s gorgeous, plump mouth, and sealed their vow with a kiss.
It was tentative at first, Nick allowing his lips to get reacquainted with the dizzying sensation of being home after a long time – too long – away. But soon the kiss deepened and gave way to a tsunami of unshared kisses, years of longing and wanting, with no outlet until now.
It had been a night of tangled limbs and reconnection, muscle memory guiding them through a repertoire of euphoria and emotion. They’d made love like the last ten years hadn’t happened, like they were 21 again. Every feeling so familiar to Nick, a sense of rightness as though he’d finally found the right frequency on the radio again.
But it was also so much better than before. The decade lost made them want each other more, know each other more, know how precious what they had was and how unbelievably lucky they were to be getting another chance.
It was a sleepless, sweaty, sensational, perfect night, and it was the start of their forever, at last. They wanted to spend every minute from now on sickeningly in love and shouting about their love from the rooftops.
But today was Isaac’s book launch. And Nick and Charlie getting back together after so many years apart, and so much speculation about ‘will they or won’t they?’ was absolutely, categorically going to steal Isaac’s thunder.
Lying like parallel pokers at the head of the bed, they considered this conundrum.
Eventually, Nick, the more optimistic of the pair, ventured, “He’ll be happy for us, surely?”
Charlie’s eyebrows shot upwards so dramatically they almost merged with that one, stupidly gorgeous, rogue forehead curl. “Yeah, he’ll be ecstatic tomorrow maybe. Today, I fear he’d murder us with a swing across the head from his Complete Miss Marple collection!”
Although he chuckled nervously, Nick swallowed a lump in his throat. Isaac could be a silent assassin, this was true.
After another long pause, he conceded, “You’re right, Charlie. We can’t tell him tonight or he’ll go bananas.”
“We’ll ask the gang not to spill the beans to Isaac until after this launch event is over.”
“Yeah, that’ll work,” Nick laughed sarcastically. “Tao, Darcy and Imogen are famously reliable when it comes to keeping secrets!”
“Ugh, true. They’ll probably yell the news through the microphone before we’ve finished canapés.”
Nick took Charlie’s warm hand into his own and stroked the olive skin there. “Okay. So we don’t tell anyone tonight. It’s one night. How hard can it be to pretend we aren’t back together for one night?”
Matching the rhythm of his strokes, Charlie sighed, a little forlorn. “I don’t want to, but I know you’re right. We haven’t dated for ten years, so it should be easy to act like we’re still single tonight, until this launch party is behind us.”
Nick squeezed their hands tighter, mimicking a handshake, determined to turn the sad expression on Charlie’s face into a happier one. “It’s a deal. For one night only, operation fake not dating is a-go!”
📚📚📚
Later that night, eight friends clambered out of two Ubers in front of the restaurant hosting Isaac’s book launch. It was an upmarket Italian place where the finest of traditional produce like prosciutto di parma and burrata were artfully served alongside elaborate cocktails and quirky wine styles.
Energy was crackling amongst the group, everyone giddy with the excitement of a swanky night on the tiles at someone else’s expense. Tara looked around them and said cheerfully, “I think we scrub up pretty well, guys! Looking sharp, Tao!”
Tao was dressed to kill in a burgundy suit and crisp white collared shirt which complemented his skin tone and made his jet black hair pop. It was perfectly fitted, of course. No doubt, having a fashion designer for a wife helped. He smiled bashfully but batted the praise away with an exuberant reply. “Why, thank you, my dearest! I agree we make a fine troop, but if I may, no one is going to outshine my Elle!”
Well accustomed to playing up to attention on her striking looks, Elle performed an exaggerated twirl with a laugh. Her floor-length, gold, satin dress was eye-poppingly glamorous, and would have inched towards ‘too much’ for almost anyone, but on Elle it seemed like a celebrity had made an appearance at Isaac’s launch after all. Linking her arm in Tao’s, she led the group towards the door of the venue.
Nick followed a couple of paces behind the rest. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, just for something to do with them other than immediately grabbing Charlie’s hand – or worse, pushing Charlie against a wall and dropping to his knees for him in front of half of the British book industry.
Charlie looked insane. He’d shirked a traditional suit, instead opting for a black silk blouse, unbuttoned so Nick could easily have licked his sternum, and a pair of black trousers which looked sprayed on. He’d pinned up the longer curls at the back so his neck tattoo was showing and wore a streak of blue eyeliner to emphasise his eyes. It was borderline painful for Nick to not ravage his brand-new-again boyfriend.
The restaurant was stunning, with a monochrome tiled floor, olive green walls and golden furniture, illuminated with warm, tasteful lighting. Elle blended in so well with the decor, it was like she’d researched the venue before designing her dress. Actually, Nick realised, she probably had done precisely that.
Standing tables were dotted about the floor space, draped in crisp white tablecloths and adorned with centrepieces filled with brightly coloured daisies, Isaac’s favourite flower. Excitable chattering, tasteful background music and clinking of glasses and trays engulfed them as they made their way through the guests in the packed room.
Isaac must have been watching for them to arrive because he spotted them quickly and jogged over to greet them proudly. He looked professional, but also perfectly Isaac, dressed in silvery grey suit trousers, a white shirt and a yellow waistcoat with little owls on the buttons.
Kissing and hugging them in turn, his grin spread from ear to ear as he pointed out the table stacked with books and the roller banners with his novel cover emblazoned across it. “I can’t believe my book is a real book, and everyone is here to talk about it! It’s crazy!”
The group splintered to mingle, get drinks and nibbles and generally enjoy the vibe. Charlie absentmindedly listened to Tao rabbiting about some radio phone-in that had irritated him, while more actively admiring how Nick’s backside filled his navy suit trousers as he ordered a drink at the bar.
Sidling up behind Nick and wrapping his arms around his waist would be the most natural thing in the world. But Charlie couldn’t do that. He knew he needed to focus on his Aperol Spritz – and whatever Tao was saying – and behave like a single man.
Thankfully, just then, Imogen and Sahar approached and Imogen regaled them with stories of her clients at the hairdressers and their outlandish demands. She was always a firecracker with a winding and dramatic retelling of something up her sleeve, and no one really cared how much, if any, of it was true. Sahar, as always, watched Imogen raconteuring with a heady mix of playful scepticism and wonder – as awestruck as if Imogen had hung the moon.
A short while passed and Charlie noticed Tao getting twitchy. He kept flicking his gaze between the bar and Charlie, his eyes increasingly bugging out and his face getting red.
“Tao, are you okay?”
With an unearned air of authority, Tao answered, “Charlie. I don’t want to cause you alarm, but I’m pretty sure Nick keeps eyeing you up, and I don’t like it one bit. What’s he playing at?”
Imogen, who was always keen for gossip, looked back and forth between Nick and Charlie so quickly she resembled a meerkat on uppers. “Oh my goodness, is he really? You do look super hot tonight Charlie, and I’m saying that as an absolute lesbian!”
Nodding in agreement, Sahar added, “Like, I would? If that helps.” She then asked, more calmly, “Do you think Nick wants something to happen?”
Before Charlie could interject to put the highly ineffectual sniffer dogs off the case, Tao spluttered, “Charlie, I swear he just bit his lip in your direction, like you’re a slab of fillet steak! You’ve been broken up for a long time, so if he thinks he still gets to look at you like that in public, I think someone should have a word. I’ll head over there now and…”
“Jesus, Tao! No!” Charlie gestured frantically, whilst trying to hiss quietly enough to not raise the attention of surrounding guests. Tao was insufferably principled sometimes. “Look, I’m sure Nick is admiring the cannoli platters going around, or something.”
His excuse sounded stupid even to himself, so Charlie changed tactics and pointed to the far corner of the room, “Oh, look! A photo booth!”
Imogen honest-to-God squealed and dragged the others enthusiastically into what would surely be a long session of group selfies with silly props and accessories. It wasn’t exactly Charlie’s dream way to spend a party, but at least it kept the rumours about him and Nick at bay for a little while.
Meanwhile, Nick was not faring much better in his undercover efforts. Determined to keep his mind and hands off Charlie, he’d made a beeline for the bar. He’d intended to order a bottle of beer, but had readily succumbed to Tara and Darcy coaxing him into drinking rounds of limoncello shots. Since they had an infant at home, this was an even rarer night out for them than the rest of the gang, so Nick didn’t feel he could be a buzzkill by refusing.
With the edges of his inhibitions a little fuzzy, Nick couldn’t help but let his gaze wander over to where Charlie was chatting. So what if he daydreamed a little about the other guests disappearing so he could peel those skintight trousers down, bend Charlie over one of the ornate tables and use his mouth on him until Charlie’s knees buckled? It was only a fantasy, and surely no one could read his thoughts in a crowded room?
Nick snapped back to reality when Tara click-clacked over to him, her strong dancer’s calves seemingly having no trouble dealing with towering stilettos. She whispered conspiratorially, “Do you think Tao found a wasp in one of his arancini bites?” Nick shot a look over to where Tara was gesturing and barked a laugh at the sight of Tao wearing a face like a slapped arse.
“I hope you don’t mind, Nick, but I was chatting to this girl on my way back from the bathrooms and she asked if I knew you.”
“Huh? Knew me?” Nick glanced around trying to locate the person he allegedly knew at the event.
Tara hissed to bring attention back, and whispered rapidly, “Christ, Nick! You’ve all the subtlety of a mallet to the face! She’s at your seven o’clock. The gorgeous Italian girl with the long curly hair. She’s one of the restaurant’s owners. She saw us chatting earlier and thinks you’re hot!”
A gas burner lit inside Nick’s skull. Setups were awkward at the best of times, but now, with Charlie here? Excruciating.
Of course, he didn’t express any of those thoughts aloud. Instead, after a long, stupid, silence, he replied, “Oh?” Brilliant, Nick.
Tara encouraged him to look for the girl, now she was occupied chatting with one of the guests. Nick coughed and twisted his neck to see who Tara was referring to, and to his dismay, she was exactly his type. Tall and slender with olive skin, black curls and big gorgeous eyes framed with thick black eyelashes. Under normal circumstances – like not being arse over tits in love and in a committed relationship with his best friend – Nick would jump on this chance like an Alsatian on a pot roast.
Instead, he plumped for a non-commital, “Oh, she looks nice.”
Tara’s brown eyes flashed and her jaw dropped slightly. “She’s nice? Nick, sugarplum, my sweet baby angel, your Aunt Diane is “nice”. That woman is a bloody goddess. And she fancies you. What are you even still doing here talking to me?”
Shuffling from foot to foot and picking at the label on his Birri Moretti, Nick fumbled for a decent response. He’d always been a terrible liar. It was one of the things Charlie fondly teased him about all the time. Nick’s pulse jumped and his stomach danced thinking about Charlie, but it wasn’t the time.
“Is this about you and Charlie?” Tara asked, somewhat sharply. Shit, maybe people could read his thoughts.
“Umm, what? No! What do you mean? Me and Charlie aren’t even together!” he protested, the lie sounding tinny amongst the blood rushing in his ears.
Tara’s eyes narrowed and she hmmmed, pursing her full mahogany lips. “I hope it’s not about your feelings for him, Nick. Because you know how much I love you, and care about protecting your heart, but it is not fair for you to miss out on opportunities for romance, or anything Sofia would be willing to give you, because Charlie is here, unless he feels the same as you do?”
The burning feeling was back in Nick’s cheeks, guilt gnawing at him for allowing Tara to think, for even a second, that Charlie was standing in his way of love, when Charlie was his love.
He swallowed deeply and shoved his hands back in his pockets, rocking on his heels. “No, you’re right. I’ll maybe go over to chat to her soon, once Isaac’s delivered his speech.”
Nick had no intention of talking to the very beautiful Sofia, of course, but the excuse seemed enough to get Tara off his back, and thankfully Isaac was preparing to address the room, so matchmaking was temporarily forgotten.
Speaking gingerly into the mic at first, Isaac welcomed the crowd. “Good evening, everyone. I’m Isaac Henderson.”
The reception ranged from polite clapping (from almost everyone), to demented levels of cheering, foot stamping and howling (from Isaac’s friends). Laughing in their direction, Isaac quipped, “Don’t mind them, we don’t get out much.”
“I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming to the launch of my book, Yersinia. To say this novel has been a labour of love would be a huge understatement. I got the idea for the book when Doctor Becker appeared fully formed in my brain during my degree in English Lit. I tinkered with plot points and researched the early 1300s obsessively for a few years, in a way that was deeply, intensely uncool for a man in his early 20s.” Isaac paused for a wave of supportive chuckles.
“But it was my friends, that group of noisy retrobates over there, who have no business being at a nice gathering like this, who made me into an author.” Another pause for effect, and for Isaac to take in Sahar’s watery smile and Tao’s steadfast proud parent face.
“There isn’t time to cover the depth and breadth of indebtedness I have to them, but for the meals, and productivity timers and brainstorming, and hugs and kicks up the arse – from the bottom of my heart, thank you all.” Imogen wasn’t even daintily crying. She was using the heel of her hand to shove fat tears back up from her chin, while Elle rummaged through her tiny handbag to locate a tissue.
“Of course, the first draft I poured onto a page is far from the work you see here on these tables. I’m so grateful to my agent, publishers, editors, cover designers, printers and probably far more people that I’m too green in this industry to know yet, but appreciate immensely nonetheless. Grab me at any time tonight to ask questions or chat. For a man who is generally quite quiet, I can jabber about books until the cows come home and then head back to the fields! I really hope you enjoy this book and the rest of the evening. Goodnight.”
Isaac raised his hand and waved to the room before handing the microphone to a smartly dressed man – presumably someone from the publishers’. His friends ran to smother him in a group hug, before letting him circulate around his peers and potential opportunities.
When Charlie wasn’t thinking about the magnetic pull from his chest to Nick’s, or about how sweet Nick’s tongue would taste after he finished that flute of Prosecco looking so tiny in his big rugby hand, or how tiny Charlie’s usually sizeable appendage looked in that same hand… Well, aside from all those thoughts, he was having a wonderful night.
He and Nick had dutifully avoided each other to keep temptation at bay, so Charlie had enjoyed chatting to his other friends and gratefully accepting every delicious little morsel offered off the circling platters of canapés.
What Charlie did not want, need or expect after collecting fresh drinks at the bar with Isaac, was to find himself face to face with his ex-boyfriend, Ben.
Ben – who’d run hot and cold more times than a faulty shower. Ben – who swore “they were casual” every Friday so he could see whoever he wanted all weekend, only to appear again on Monday full of sweet words and gestures. Ben – who’d played a significant role in Charlie finally realising what a fucking idiot he was to not accept the love he felt for Nick.
“Wow, hi, Charlie,” Ben said, recovering first from their surprise reunion. He barely concealed the way he raked his eyes up and down Charlie’s body, requiring a head tilt upwards since Charlie was a few inches taller than him. There was a time when Charlie would have delighted in how flustered Ben looked as he took in Charlie’s open shirt, but now the weight of Ben’s attention made his skin prickle and itch, and he wished for a big sheet to drape over himself.
Even though Isaac was the celebrated author of the night, Ben only granted him a cursory nod, which was met with a stiff, “Benjamin.” Given how ride-or-die Isaac was for his friends, it was a relief to Charlie he’d reciprocated Ben’s greeting at all.
“What are you doing here?” Charlie asked, irritated by the slight quiver in his voice.
Ben took his time in answering, combing his floppy fringe back from his forehead, to show off a thick metal band on his ring finger. “Oh, did you not know my husband is the leading arts journalist for The Herald? I assumed you’d have heard.”
Ignoring Isaac muttering expletives to his left, Charlie couldn’t stop himself from exclaiming, “Your husband? I didn’t know you got married.”
Ben’s sage nod made him look especially punchable and Charlie swore he could feel Nick’s eyes scorching like laser beams from across the room.
“Yes, almost a year ago. Richard is wonderful.” Ben spread a thick layer of sincerity over his voice, viscous and smooth. Charlie stiffened.
“Charlie, I know I wasn’t ready to settle down when I was with you and treated you poorly as a result. I want you to know I’ve been working on self-growth since, seeing a therapist, managing my nutrition and aligning my chakras. It really helped my body, mind and soul be ready for Richard, and I’m so much happier now.”
Charlie dared to flick a glance at Nick which confirmed he was watching the scene unfold with one foot stretched out in front of the other, as if he was in a starting position to run over. Although Charlie’s blood felt close to boiling point from listening to this sanctimonious arsehole, he knew better than to cause a scene on Isaac’s big night, especially when Isaac was standing right beside them.
But then, the inevitable clanger came, the knockout punch of condescension for every unmarried person at a function. “And what about you?” Ben asked. “Still single?”
Every cell in Charlie’s body worked in tandem to resist the burning desire to shout, “No, I’m not single, you cockwomble! I’ve got the hottest, kindest and best green flag of a partner in the world, and I fully intend to end this night with him tickling my uvula with his big green flag penis!’
Instead, he took another steadying look towards Nick, then one towards Isaac, and finally, with an inhale so deep his chest rattled with effort, Charlie gritted his teeth and lied. “Yes. I’m still single.”
Ben placed his hand on Charlie’s shoulder and squeezed it. Charlie imagined he heard the air being squeezed from Nick’s lungs at the same time. But of course he hadn’t.
“Keep your chin up, Charlie. And keep seeing your therapist. Maybe try Pilates? I’m sure once your heart is ready, you’ll find there’s someone special out there for you too.” With a head tilt, and a final smug smile, Ben turned and walked away, leaving Charlie and Isaac dumbstruck in his wake.
After a few seconds, Isaac said, “Jesus, what a moron. I’m so sorry, Charlie. If I’d had any idea he’d be coming…”
“No, no, it’s fine.” Charlie forced a smile, determined Ben wouldn’t leave a sour taste on Isaac’s perfect night. “At least he’s someone else’s problem now? It’s Richard I feel sorry for!”
Giggling mischievously, Isaac clinked their glasses together, the ice within them already half melted. “Nah, one Dick deserves another, eh?”
And with that, the tension in Charlie’s shoulders lifted. He and Isaac laughed until they were bent over and breathless, eventually interrupted by someone steering Isaac towards another contact he simply must meet.
🥂🥂🥂
Because it was London, once the assembled guests had had their fill of discussing transport, they started peeling off to take various modes of transportation home, with only the die-hards and party animals still in situ when the function officially ended at midnight. As Isaac herded his friends out of the restaurant, he announced, slightly slurring, that he felt like AroAce Cinderella, expecting, any second, to find himself clutching a broom with only a mouse and a pumpkin for company.
Gorgeous as the evening had been, Nick and Charlie were desperate for it to end so they could drop the platonic pretence once and for all. After longing to be together for so many years, climbing back into the friendship closet had felt tantamount to torture.
Just as Elle was about to book her Uber – finally starting the motions of going the fuck home – Isaac squealed, “No!”
A stone sank to the pit of Nick’s stomach. What now?
“I’ve been put up in a posh hotel closeby. If tomorrow I’m going to wake up and be an antisocial grump again, then let’s squeeze every last drop out of this magical night! Everyone come back with me for an afterparty!”
Sahar and Darcy immediately linked arms and started an obnoxiously loud chant of Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn, bounding forward undeterred by not knowing where the hotel was. Tao, Elle and Tara swapped looks and shoulder shrugs, silently agreeing, Why not?
Imogen was too smashed to care one way or the other, and was probably best taken to the closest possible location since she was carrying her heels in her hand and walking through London in a pair of flip flops she’d stashed in her handbag.
Nick knew he and Charlie were cooked. There was no plausible explanation why they, the only single members of the group, with no one to go home to and nowhere better to be, wouldn’t show their support for the final icing on the cake of Isaac’s celebrations. But he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up this charade.
They hung at the back of the group as it made its uncoordinated amble along the short distance to Isaac’s hotel.
“I just want to be with you,” moaned Charlie with his perfect head drooped.
“Me too, Char. This fucking sucks.”
Isaac stopped walking ahead and bent down to tie his shoelaces, resulting in him falling into step with Nick and Charlie. They chatted for a few minutes, telling Nick about the interaction with Ben.
Nick didn’t divulge how closely he’d been staring at the whole thing and how hard he’d wanted to rugby tackle that smug twat to the ground for eyefucking his boyfriend. It was fine, fine.
“Right!” Isaac chirruped. “I better run up front to sneak you into my room before Darcy uses the hotel reception as another role playing opportunity!”
Nick and Charlie’s laughs in response were cut short with Isaac adding, “Oh, and congratulations you two. About bloody time you got back together!”
“What?” Charlie spluttered. “How did you know we’re…?”
Isaac tapped the side of his nose and winked. “I know everything, and even if I didn’t, you two are as subtle as a drag queen at a Kylie concert! Thanks for giving me my night to shine though. I appreciate that. Love you.”
“Love you too,” Nick and Charlie answered in unison as Isaac skipped away to catch up with the troublemakers striding towards his hotel.
Nick chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “Of course he knew.”
“Yeah, we were idiots to think we could keep a secret from Isaac.”
For a couple of minutes Nick and Charlie walked in silence, allowing the night’s cold pinch on their skin to be thawed by the realisation that there was nothing standing in their way anymore. Not Isaac, not Ben and not themselves.
Nick gradually inched his hand towards Charlie’s across the space between them as they strolled. Before their fingers made contact, he stopped. That old familiar fizzing of energy zapped between their pinkies as they almost touched, but not quite. The invisible connection drawing them back together. How could they have ever thought they’d be content as just friends?
With a smile to himself, Nick bridged the tiny gap and interlocked his fingers with Charlie’s. Charlie, his partner, from now until forever.