Chapter Text
It was like waking up from a bad dream. When your body jolts you awake just before darkness can close in on you. Before the unknown finally consumes you. For a second it seemed like everything in the last few days was only a bad dream. He didn’t go through with the plan; he didn’t betray Voltron. He did not betray Allura.
But when his vision did not clear, when the ringing in his ear did not stop. When the white static remained, he realized the terrible truth. And it made him feel even worse than he already had.
Everything felt distant. Numb. Stuck in the after-flash of a very powerful beam of energy. It was like he was in a void. A temporary space.
Here there was no color, no sights, smells, or anything that could trigger any of his senses. There wasn’t even any gravity, he was just floating upright. Not quite falling, but not quite still either. It felt like he was dangling in the air held up by invisible restraints.
The robotic shell of the Sincline was gone. The battle was over. And he had lost.
But what was loss to someone who never had anything to lose to begin with? Who simply became what people believed him to be because there was no other possibility for him? He imagined right now everyone was celebrating his death, or perhaps they were pretending like he never existed in the first place. That was fine. It was what he deserved anyways. He let his anger take over and now there was nothing for him.
Lotor closed his eyes again. Waiting to just vanish into nothingness. To disappear. To leave this world as he arrived. Alone. With no one to comfort him.
Just as he did, his eyes shot open again with instinctual alarm. A low reverberating hum was now echoing all around him. Coming from all directions yet somehow it was coming closer. The unstable guttural groans of a lion.
Was this his punishment? To be ripped apart by the one thing that held any true meaning to him. Was the universe playing one final sick joke after all that had happened?
“Fine then,” he thought to himself, “just get it over with. End this already.”
The prince felt his breath catch in his throat as the source of the noise finally came into view. A large, bluish lion slowly was approaching from the front. It stalked low to the ground, almost hesitantly like it was waiting to make its move. To pounce and start ripping into him. He did his best to brace himself, winning as it drew ever nearer.
But when it finally got close enough that he could see its opalescent eyes and hear the unearthly hum from within its chest. It surprised him. It butted its head against his chest. Chuffing as it rubbed its neck along his body like a cat embracing an old friend.
Oh Lotor…you needn’t be afraid any longer.
Once the initial alarm finally subsided, he attempted to speak. His throat croaked slightly as his voice returned to him. Coming out in sputters of confusion and panic. “Who… what are you?! H-How do you know my name? Where am I?!”
Shhhh. Be still. You are in no danger here. This is a sacred place. One that few of your kind have had the honor to be graced with. I’ve been watching you for far longer than you know. Seen all that you’ve done, and all that’s been done to you.
“Is this divine punishment then? For all my crimes.”
The lion was now inches from his face. Gazing right into his eyes as it slowly shook its head.
No. This is not a sentencing. This is an absolution. Because despite all of what you’ve done your actions have not always been your own.
“Forgive me if I find that hard to believe.”
Believe it or do not believe, but the fact remains that your life until this moment has been directed by things you have had no control over. From before you took your first breath, your destiny was written for you by a few selfish actions. And for that I am deeply sorry.
The longer Lotor looked into the eyes of the lion the more he could see clouds of stardust twisting and swirling together. It was like the beginnings of a star. The lion’s expression remained neutral, but her eyes seemed almost remorseful. Butting her head against him again, but this time beneath his chin, as if it were meant to be a comforting gesture.
The lion then began to circle him again, much slower this time. He could feel its soft fur under his hands. The faint calming warmth that resonated from its body. While it was doing this, he realized the lion was not growling, but she was purring. The sounds she made were meant to show that she was calm and content. Though he could not leave out the possibility she might change her mind and begin devouring him at any moment.
I have come to offer you something few have offered you before. A choice.
“A choice?”
Your fate will be decided by this decision, and only you get to make it.
“Victory or death?” He spat bitterly.
Redemption or renewal.
Lotor stared blankly into the white void. Unable to turn his neck to look anywhere else really. “I … I don’t understand…”
If you choose the path of redemption, you will be able to make peace with those you left behind. To better yourself and the world you left behind. But in doing so you must face the consequences of what you have done, as well as confront the aftermath of your betrayal. If you choose the path of renewal, you will be able to start anew. A fresh beginning. This path of course is not without its challenges, and you will have to sacrifice in order to achieve it.
“Sacrifice?”
You will forfeit your strength, your power, your influence. You will have to rely on others.
“That doesn’t seem so bad.” He said as his thoughts turned to his generals, the team, to Allura.
The lion seemed to sense what he was thinking and stopped mid cycle to look down on him.
You will find love. But… it will not be what it was before. You must understand that. Choosing this path will change you. You will be loved, but it won’t be the same.
Lotor wished he knew what the lion meant. Her words were confusing and vague. She was offering him a chance to go back, but he wasn’t sure if he should take it. It’s not like he was unaware of his actions; he knew what he was doing. He just… he wished he could have done it differently. He wished he could undo it all.
Then all of a sudden, he felt something at his feet. White clouds were beginning to rise up from the void and take shape. These dust clouds then turned from white to yellow, then to purple, as it slowly began to swallow him up. More of him disappearing with each passing moment. He writhed against the curling tendrils. He thrashed and fought, but ultimately it was useless.
“What is happening?!”
You have chosen renewal.
“Wait a tick! I didn’t choose anything!”
But you have.
“Wait! Just wait! Please! Stop. I’m not ready! I’m not…I…”
Shhh. It’s okay. It’s going to be alright. You’ll see. You won’t be alone anymore.
The lioness then gave him one nuzzle with her head to drive this point home. To assure him that his final choice had been the right one.
Then it all went dark as sparkling stardust consumed his vision.
…
Allura woke with a gasp. Sitting up in bed with a start. Quickly she flicked on the lights and looked all around her. Nothing. There was nothing there. Absolutely nothing. Just as there had been nothing for the past week.
“Get a hold of yourself,” she said to herself falling onto her back, “it’s just a dream. He’s gone.”
The princess sunk back into the pillows. Hoping to just fall back asleep until the ship’s morning cycle finally activated. Realistically thought she knew there was no hope of that either. Not with the dreams she was having. Or perhaps it was more fitting to call them nightmares. With a few fruitless tosses and turns in bed she eventually gave up on sleep and decided to do something more productive with her time. Maybe she could go over the ship logs or fix herself a glass of water. Anything to take her mind off of the obvious. She shed her night garments, slipping into her body suit rather than her dress. Lately she’d also taken to wearing an additional item, when it was just her alone walking around the castle. A thin veil like shawl adorned in pale pink flowers. It was a mourning shawl, but she didn’t need to tell the team that. The last thing she wanted was to make it seem like she was grieving her enemy. More so that she was grieving the loss of something more precious. An intellectual equal. A friend. A companion. With a sigh she exited her room into the dimly lit hallway, dragging her feet as she wandered through the halls.
When she arrived at the kitchen she lazily turned on the lights, leading to a high pitched scream suddenly ringing in her ears. She recognized the sharp piercing ‘girlie’ yell anywhere.
“Lance.” She sighed.
Still more screaming.
“Lance!” She repeated. A little louder this time. “Please calm down. It’s just me. It’s Allura.”
The blue paladin took a second look and thankfully stopped screaming. His arms also stopped flailing, and he seemed to relax considerably. “Oh! Hey princess. Uhhh. I can explain.”
“You were watch the scary movies again?”
“Yeah. This time it was Shiro’s turn to pick the movie, and he chose something called ‘Ringu’. Now I can’t sleep.” He said resuming his search through the fridge. Finally spotting the half gallon of milk they had in the fridge then proceeded to chug the remainder of it.
Allura tiredly blinked before shuffling into the kitchen herself, continuing to make conversation as she grabbed herself a cup from the cupboard. “What is it about?”
“So basically, there’s this video tape, uhh recording. And if you watch it there’s this chick with long hair over her face that comes out of the screen and kills you. But only after seven days. Only way not to die is to send the tape to someone else. The whole comes back to this girl who died like ages ago. But you only learn that later on. Anyways so the tape ends up in the hands of a… Allura?” He stopped midway through his ramblings when he noticed that Allura was still standing in front of the cupboard with the cup in her hand. Staring down at the bottom of the glass where she could see her foggy reflection.
When she realized he’d stopped talking, she shook herself out of it. “Sorry, yes. I am listening.”
“Hey, don’t sweat it. It’s okay. You’re still upset. And you have every right to be.”
She pulled the shawl tightly around her. “I wish it were only that. No oddly enough I think I… I actually miss him. I know I shouldn’t. He used my people and lied to me. Yet at the same time part of me hoped that it had been all a horrible misunderstanding on my part.”
Lance gently took the empty glass from her, filling it with water from the dispenser before handing it back to her. Letting her words sink in before offering to listen on the couch. Graciously, she took it. Sinking into the cushion as she looked out at the starry expanse. “There’s still that little bit of me that hopes we find him alive somewhere out there. That he is not just gone.”
He sat down beside her. Twiddling his thumbs while he tried to think of what to say next. “What would you do? If he did make it, I mean.”
“I’m not sure. It would all depend on what kind of state he was in. But I would probably be mad him for deceiving me.” She sighed, taking a sip of water. “But that would never happen. He’s gone. And no amount of dreaming or hoping will ever change that.” She went silent as she felt herself pushing down the urge to cry.
“Dreaming?”
“I’m embarrassed to say,” she uttered, “I keep dreaming that he’s lost. That somewhere out there he is still floating in distant space. Asking for help. Sometimes Zarkon is there, or even Honerva. They just stand there ominously. I can hear him screaming. But every time I get there it’s always too late for me to do anything. He becomes this... he…I barely even recognize what’s left.”
Lance blinked a few times. “I’m not the best when it comes to that kind of stuff, but you shouldn’t feel guilty. You did what you had to in the moment. There isn’t anything you could have done differently.
Despite feeling a bit more relaxed having finally gotten it off her chest, Allura could not meet his gaze. Sweet words wouldn’t just erase the hurt she felt.
She felt it. An energy. A pull. She looked through the main bridge windows and gasped.
“Lance.”
“I know. It’s not enough to bring him back.”
“Lance! Look.” She said grabbing his head and moving it so he could see what she saw. There was a single lone asteroid coming into view. Even from this far away you could make out there was the Sincline ships debris floating around it. Pulled in by a weak gravitational pull.
Allura jumped her feet. Throwing her glass to the ground as she ran to the bridge. Her fingers frantically moving across the screens as if she were possessed. She could feel it, deep inside, as her altean marks lit up. There was a call of distress. Something on that asteroid was reaching out to her. Pleading with her, with anyone, to come to their aid. Enemy or not, she could not turn away from such a desperate cry for help.
Lance barely managed to catch up with her as she started moving like a woman on a mission. “Lance! Suit up! I am going to bring us closer and then we need to use the lions.”
“Allura are you sure that’s-”
“Go!”
“Okay! Okay! I’ll get the others!” He didn’t have time to argue with her.
The blue paladin rushed to his room to suit up as alarms started blaring in every part of the castle. All the lights of the castle turning on at once, ripping everyone from sleep and the stupor of night, calling for the assembly of Voltron without warning.
Everyone gathered in the central bridge, each of them in a different state of dress. Keith was already in his usual outfit. Pidge also, though it looked like she’d never bothered to change out in the first place. Hunk was still getting his boots on. Meanwhile Lance was slipping on his jacket. Shiro came out in just a simple shirt and pants. Coran, he was still in his pajamas.
“Yawn. W-what, in the name of King Groggery the infirm, is going on?! Princess?! What are you doing?!”
“Everyone to the lions! Coran you keep us on course. And as soon as we’re back, we need to teleport to the nearest Galra base as soon as possible.”
“G-Galra?! What are you-”
Allura did not bother to explain herself. Continuing to give orders to the others. “Shiro, I understand you are not up to your full strength. But can you get the med-bay ready? We may need it.”
The pilot gave an affirmative nod before heading straight for the med-bay. He wasn’t sure what they’d encounter but he knew he could still help his team the best way how.
Once Allura was as close as she could get, she jumped off the Teludav platform, quickly heading towards the Lion Bays while she switched to coms. “Keith. Do you think you can in touch with the closest base through the blades?”
“We won’t need to. They have a stronghold on a nearby moon a few minutes by Teludav from here. They use it as a hospital.” Keith called back. “I can call Thiral and let them know we’re coming.”
Lance cracked his knuckles before settling into the seat of the red lion. “Cool. So, we won’t have to go far. Gre-Wait. How you know that, Keith?”
“Oh. We have to get check ups every few months. I think Krolia might be there for hers actually.” He gave a shrug as he sent the coordinates to Coran before sending out the alert to the base, preparing them for their oncoming arrival. Whatever was going on it was pretty serious.
“Dude. You can just call her your mom. We all know who she is.” Hunk remarked as he fired up the lion. “You can afford to be a little mushy.”
“Let’s focus on the task at hand.”
Pidge paused. “Hey. Yeah. What is our mission anyway?”
The team paused for a moment, unsure how to really answer her. Not until the blue lion jettisoned out of the bay on a path towards the mangled remains of the cockpit. Silently hoping for a miracle.
If he was dead, Allura would at least have some closure. If he was alive, then she’d be grateful first, then once they had him on the ship, she’d throttle him for lying.
As she got closer to the ships, she found she could not see the main cockpit. It seemed that it had been ripped apart from the rest of the ship at some point.
Thankfully, just at the moment when she began to lose hope again, a glint of light caught her eye. She looked towards the source and spotted the shimmering shield of a half-buried head embedded into the craggy surface that reflected the light of a distant star. Frantically she scanned the area for signs of life, and was able to pick up on a faint heartbeat buried inside the mech. He was here.
Pidge did some scans as well. “The asteroid has a thin atmosphere. We should be able to open up the pod and have our helmets off for a short time without too much concern. But we really shouldn’t stay here long.”
“Alright, I’m going down!”
“Allura! Wait! Let’s not rush into this… and she’s gone.” Hunk sighed as the blue lion immediately surged forward, touching down as fast as it possibly could. He really wished he didn’t always have to stop his friends from doing really crazy shit.
Reluctantly they followed behind. Unable to keep up with the driven princess as she leapt out from the blue lion and began to sprint across the barren asteroid. Small dust clouds kicking up behind her. The other paladins raced after her on foot as she arrived at the pod.
It was not in very good shape; it looked as if it’d been burnt in places by some sort of heat and it was covered all over by a white sandy residue. She couldn’t see into it, but her helm was still detecting a thready pulse from inside. There was no doubt about it.
Here it was. The moment of truth.
She placed her hand on the glass as the pressure seals of the cockpit opening with a loud hiss. The hatch slowly rising open. For a moment the worst flashed through her mind. Melted twisted sinew and flesh melded into the chair of the ship. Something that might not even be recognizable as a living thing anymore. Just a pile of meat begging for the sweet release of death or just standing on the very brink.
But instead, she saw something else. Something entirely unexpected that made her heart skip a beat. From where the team was, they could see her back away in shock before quickly bending down to get closer.
“Allura, what’s going on up there? Is he…”
They all stopped in their tracks when a sharp sound suddenly erupted over their coms. Echoing across the desolate space. There was only one thing in the whole universe that could make that sound. A baby crying.
“Shh. Shh. It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re going to be alright.” Allura soothed as she reached out towards a tiny purple infant tangled up in Lotor’s old armor as it weakly squirmed and flailed its arms in panic.
The team snapped out of their stupor and quickly rushed to see what was going on. When they got there, they could see what was going on. There was no doubt about it. From his pointed ears, his stark white fuzz of hair, even to his half-lidded eyes that no doubt was hiding yellow scalra with those purple blue irises. Even at this size it was clear who this was.
“Oh.”
“My”
“Quizznack”
“God”
“How is this even possible?” Keith said looking around in the cockpit for any sign of something that might explain what they were seeing, but there was none. All there was inside the discarded clothes of the prince and … well… the prince himself. Just not how any of them expected to find him.
After taking a moment to pull together her strength, the princess reached inside to free the struggling infant from his prison. The moment her hands touched him the child stopped crying, freezing upon contact. It’s shallow, even breaths echoing in the vast emptiness of space as he was lifted out of the cockpit into her arms. Just as she pulled him out, she felt her shawl brush against her neck.
Exactly what she needed.
As she wrapped the shawl around the still frozen child, doing her best all the while to reassure him that everything was fine. Sure, everything wasn’t fine, but he didn’t need to know that. “Don’t worry. We aren’t here to fight. You’re safe now. We’re going to take you to the hospital. They’ll help you.”
For a second, she saw his eyes open in recognition before they screwed shut and he started to mewl weakly, but he wasn’t crying anymore.
“So… just so we’re all in agreement.” Lance began, looking at his fellow teammates as he held his hands together, palms flat. “As soon as we snap out of this, we are hightailing it back to the castle and gunning it to the alien hospital as fast as physically possible?”
“Yep.”
“Ditto.”
“100%”
“I am in full agreement of that plan.”
Coran’s voice flickered over the coms as he tuned in to see what was going on. “What’s taking you so – oh Great Saints of Altea is that a baby?!”
With that they all quickly rushed back to the lions. Every paladin doing their very best not to completely freak the complete fuck out.
…
When his vision finally cleared, he was somewhere with familiar bright lights overhead, and white interior all over. His hearing was starting to come back to him too, the muddled muffled voices slowly becoming less muffled to him.
“I’ve seen a lot of strange things in the last couple years, but this is something else altogether.” He could hear the black paladin’s voice, Shiro, as he stood over him. Obviously making remarks on his physical appearance.
He could see the others circling around, looking down at him with puzzled or worried faces. Was something wrong? And all of a sudden, he began to feel quite anxious. A sharp whine escaped his throat and as soon as it did, he couldn’t stop. It hurt his ears which caused him to cry out even more. His body was so busy acting on instinct his brain couldn’t keep up with what was happening.
“Oh, shoot did we do something wrong? Um. Hi little guy. No need to get so worked up.” Hunk immediately started sweating. “How soon until we get there?”
“We’ll be touching down now.” Shiro said looking over at the monitor. “They know we’re coming right?”
Keith didn’t answer at first. His eyes were focused on Lotor so intently he was pretty much just staring. It took Shiro giving him a nudge to get his attention. “Yeah. I told them that we were bringing a… patient. Wow… he’s uh. He’s really a baby.”
‘No, I am not! You try being in my position!’ Lotor wanted to shout, but all that came out were a few loud gurgled whines that ebbed info hiccups as he struggled to breath again. His hidden marks started to flare up again with as distress he felt only increased. If he could just get himself under control, he could think clearly about what has happened to him!
Then he felt himself begin to move back and forth. The steady near constant motion helped to steady his breathing somewhat and it helped him feel more relaxed. When his eyes opened again he could see the lights on Allura’s cheeks beginning to fade once more. She spoke in a soft hushed voice that helped to put him at ease. “We’re almost there. Just try to hang on a little longer.”
Finally, at long last, Lotor was able to calm down long enough to take stock of what fate had befallen him. He was small, quick to emotion, he couldn’t move well, and he felt very weak. Ah. The Red Paladin was telling the truth then. He really was a baby. That might explain why everyone was looking at him with such sympathy and concern. He couldn’t recall anyone ever looking at him like that before in … well ever.
The ship gave way to a slight tremor as it settled into the ground. It spooked him a little, causing him to let out a drawn-out whimper until Allura resumed the rocking. “Alright! We’re here. See? That wasn’t so bad.”
“Great. I am sure whatever this is, they can help him get back to normal.” Coran said cheerfully. As soon as he finished speaking though, everyone (apart from Lotor that is) began to groan. Even Lance rolled his head back dramatically to drive the point home.
“Come on!”
The poor space until just stood there. Dazed and confused. “What. What did I say?”
Pidge rubbed her temples under her glasses. “Dude! You might have just jinxed us all!”