Archive of Our Own

1

Early May

“You’re what?” Shane sits up from where he’d been lounging on the sofa. Summer break is starting well. Being locked away in the cottage with Ilya is exactly what he needs after a grueling first season with the Centaurs! He would prefer if all of their neatly laid plans would go to plan but there is no accounting for what happens to other people. Like the first week after the Cens got knocked out of playoff contention was supposed to be spent with Rose but she had come down with some mystery illness that has kept her from joining them in the cottage.

“I’m pregnant. That’s why I've been so fucked up.” She sounds despondent, like her whole world is falling apart. “God I don’t even… I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” Shane understands the fear. His own pregnancy scare a few years ago had felt like the world was ending.

“Okay. Hey, deep breath, Rosie. You’re okay.” Shane looks up at where Ilya is sitting on the floor by the rear windows of the house holding a hand up and shaking his head when Ilya mouths “what’s wrong” at him. “Do you… is there a clinic you can go to? Do you have anyone you can go with?”

“There’s a Planned Parenthood not far from here but like… the only person available right now is Amy.” Her agent isn’t the right kind of person for this situation.

“Is Miles there? Where are you? New York?” Shane is already pushing himself up off the couch, no making eye contact with his husband as he goes to the bedroom to retrieve his keys.

“Miles is in Cabo, I think and I’m in Detroit.” She sighs and Shane can hear her voice go a little bit watery as he digs through his drawer for his passport.

“Are your parents around? One of your brothers? Maybe… Dan? Can he take you?” He knows it’s less than ideal to have your brother take you to get an abortion but desperate times. “Wait- do you want a baby right now?” He realizes he’s been rushing ahead with his own thoughts on the matter before even understanding what Rose wants.

“No god no. I don’t want a baby and I don’t want Dan to take me to a fucking clinic.” She chuckles wetly at him and Shane nods, stopping to rub his forehead and pinch the bridge of his nose while he runs some mental math about how to get to her the fastest.

“Okay. I can be in Detroit in like four hours so wha–”

“You are not flying all the way to Detroit to take me to an abortion clinic.”

“No, I’m flying all the way to Detroit to make sure my best friend is okay.” He counters quickly, looking up from the dresser once he has his passport in hand to see Ilya standing in the doorway holding his own passport up with a questioning eyebrow raised. “I’m guessing the alpha isn’t around?” Shane hands his passport to his husband before pinching the phone between his shoulder and his ear.

“And I’m glad to be rid of him. He sucked a little bit.” Shane sighs slowly through his nose, shaking his head as he thinks back about the last guy Rose had been seeing. “It’s fine, Shane I can hear you blowing him up with your mind.”

“Okay. I won’t blow him up with my mind. Ilya is coming with me, he’s insisting on it.” Ilya is in fact standing in the door, waving their passports kind of aggressively at Shane. Shane pulls the phone away from his ear, cupping his hand over the mic. “I get it. You can come. Pack two bags, please. Maybe three.” He turns away from Ilya and holds the phone back up to his face. “Do you have nesting stuff? You’re gonna want to nest after you get the procedure done. I nested for a week straight after mine.”

“I don’t I’m in a hotel. You’re so sweet Shanebug.” She chuckles wetly and Shane can’t stop his smile at the nickname. “I never like their nesting stuff anyway.”

“It never feels right.” Shane agrees as he helps Ilya start to dig through the nesting drawer in the closet. “We’ll be in Detroit in like four hours, okay? Just give us a second to drop Anya with my par–”

“Noooo bring my niece wanna see my niece.” Rose whines into the earpiece and Shane chuckles, shaking his head.

“Okay, I’ll bring your niece and my nesting stuff. Any other requests?” He’s already building a list of snacks to get once they land in his head.

 2

Early June

“Babe?” Shane calls out to his husband as he walks through the cottage from the kitchen to the en suite, his phone clutched in his hand. “When were you gonna tell me Cliff is coming into town?” He had received a text from Cliff’s fiancée, Carey, telling him a flight Shane didn’t even know was happening is taking off.

“Oh- I thought I already told you?” Ilya stops shaving to turn to look at Shane innocently, shrugging as he motions for his husband to come closer. “Why? Is he bothering you?”

“No, Carey is texting me that they’re gonna be in Ottawa in the next two hours.” Shane comes close and Ilya tries to wrap his arms around him to hold him but before he can Shane presses a hand to his chest and holding him back. “No, no. You don’t get to hug me and cuddle me when you forget to tell me we’re having guests. I don’t even have time to make the guest room up before we have to go get them.”

“Shanya, sweetheart, is fine.” Ilya doesn’t hug him but he puts his hands on Shane’s shoulders to hold him still. “They are not here to see us, they are here to visit Carey’s family. They’re staying with them, is okay.” He squeezes shane’s shoulders gently. “Carey wants to have lunch when they get in. We get lunch, take them to her mother’s house after, Carey was very insistent they see us first.” Shane doesn’t take his hand away from Ilya’s chest even as he moves his arms to hold his waist and pull him close.

“You’re sure?” Shane asks as he stares up at Ilya with a challenge behind his eyes. “If you’re wrong you’re sleeping with Cliff and I’m spending the night cuddling Carey.” It wouldn’t be the first time the omegas spent the night together. The number of times Cliff and Ilya got too drunk after long awaited reunions was too high to count.

“Okey, am not wrong. Trust me, miliy.” Ilya leans in and presses a kiss to Shane’s lips. “Promise, sweetheart.” He kisses Shane again and Shane turns to leave, grumbling about his husband needing an ADHD diagnosis.

His whole day is thrown off now! Not that he had many plans other than spending the day in bed with his husband. But still! His day is ruined!

Or it would have been if he doesn’t get the surprise of the century while waiting for Cliff and Carey inside the arrivals terminal.

“What?!” Shane squawks when they come through the terminal and Shane can see that Carey is hugely pregnant and absolutely beaming at him and Ilya. “Oh my god! What is this!”

“Surprise!” She laughs as she wraps Shane in as tight a hug as she can manage around her belly. “Shane, Ilya, this is Baby Marlow!” When they step apart she presents her bump to them, running both her hands over it until she’s cupping the underside of it and pulling the skirt of her dress against her belly. “Baby Marlow, say hi to your uncles!”

“Cliff you dog!” Ilya laughs loudly as he claps his best friend on the back and hugs him tightly. “Congratulations!”

“Wow, Carey, really congrats, you guys are gonna be great parents.” Shane softens as he takes Carey’s hand, giving her a firm squeeze before turning to wrap Marlow in a firm hug. “How did you guys hide this?” He’d been keeping up with Marlow on their personal Instagrams and looking back now he realizes every picture with Cliff and Carey together had been very strategically angled so he was covering most of her.

“Hiding things is easier when you work PR,” Carey laughs as she pats her belly. “He did not make it easy.”

“He? You’re having a boy?” Shane gapes as he almost wants to reach out to touch her belly. “Can I touch? Or is that weird?” Before he can finish his second question Carey is grabbing his wrist and pressing his hand firmly against her belly. He immediately feels little flutters against his palm and his mouth drops open wider. “Oh wow!”

“Yeah, he was up for the whole flight but it’s about time for his nap so I think we’d better get a move on to lunch before he decides to use my bladder as a punching bag.” Carey giggles as she links arms with Shane and they walk on out of the airport with the alphas trailing behind with the bags.

Something within Shane shrinks and turns jealous at the thought of Carey having a baby. He shouldn’t be jealous over this.

3

Mid-July

“Is Jackie okay?” Shane leans forward a little, concern burning in his scent as he studies Hayden’s face. A pregnancy scare after the struggle they had with Amber isn’t something to be taken lightly.

“Yeah, yeah she’s okay. She went through with the whole hysterectomy thing when she had the abortion, she’s fine.” Shane wants to belive that, he wants to know that his best friend’s wife is in fact not suffering by herself.

“Oh she– she got a hysterectomy? What’re you doing out here, man? Shouldn’t you be at home taking care of her?” Shane isn't normally one to offer advice but he does think that maybe, leaving Jackie at home, bedridden, with four young kids isn’t the best idea.

"Oh, no it’s fine, her parents are in town, helping out. In fact she insisted I go out.” Hayden snorts and shrugs. “I guess I was being a little too much with taking care of her. I dunno.” Shane watches as Hayden turns a little bit sheepish with the downturn of his lips as he thumbs at the neck of his beer. “I just got so scared, yknow? I mean… she’s the love of my life. I don’t think i’d be okay if I wasn’t taking care of her.”

That makes him smile. Underneath his stupid “Devil May care” attitude, Hayden is the biggest softy Shane knows. Aside from Ilya, of course. He looks from the green glass of Hayden’s beer bottle to his own can of ginger ale, thumbing the tab absently.

"How long are her parents in town for?” The metal rings under his thumb as he flicks the tab gently with the pad. “Until she’s better? Or… indefinitely?”

"Just until her recovery is done. Doc says four to eight weeks so we’ve got three to seven weeks left.” Hayden sighs and rolls his eyes before pressing the palm of his hand to his forehead. “I dunno if I can make it two months with my in-laws in the house.”

"Jesus, Hayd I thought we liked Mary.” Shane had met Hayden’s mother-in-law exactly twice. Both times around the birth of their first three children. She had seemed sweet, if a little insistent. And maybe a little bit intense about taking care of Jackie for that whole time.

"Mary is fine, Jim is the one that stresses me out.” Shane remembers Jackie’s father. Very vocal about the omega’s role in a family. Not someone Shane spent a lot of time around or wanted to spend a lot of time around.

"Right. Yeah he’s a piece of work.” Shane nods, thumbing at the lip of his drink before he’s rolling the can between his hand. “How’re the kids doing?” He remembers the few times his own mother was laid up with an illness or injury, he felt like his world was ending. Even with his dad very patiently explaining to Shane that his mother was fine.

“I think Arthur and Amber are a little bit young to be feeling any type of way but Jade and Ruby are worried. You’d think the world was ending the way Jade acted when Jackie came home,” Hayden chuckles as he brings the beer up to sip. “She didn’t leave her mother’s nest for hours.”

“I did the same thing when my mom had appendicitis, made a little mini nest inside her bigger nest and didn’t leave for days unless I absolutely had to.” He’s laughing softly and chewing his lip as he leans back, staring down at the edge of the table next to Hayden’s hands. “They’ll be okay. Just give them a little bit of time. And keep being a good alpha with Jackie, she'll be okay.” He reaches across the table to give Hayden’s hand a gentle squeeze.

4

Early August

“Hold on.” Shane uncrosses one of his arms, shaking his head and closing his eyes as he tries to process what has just been said to him. “You’re joking, right? Like, this is a joke. You’re not… actually pregnant, right?”

Yuna looks from Shane to David, smiling a little bit weakly before returning her attention to her son.

“I am actually pregnant, Shane.” His hand drops to the tabletop weakly and he huffs and incredulous laugh. “We thought you'd be excited. You always talked about wanting a little brother–”

“You’re far enough along to know that?” He's losing his mind, he’s dreaming he has to be that’s the only reason his mother - who supposedly had her tubes tied after a litany of fertility and health issues leading up to having him - could be telling him that she's pregnant. Again.

“What Shane is trying to say is that he is happy for you, mama.” Ilya speaks up, pressing his hand firmly onto Shane’s thigh under the table where their parents can’t see.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” Shane leans away from his husband, crossing his arms again as he stares at him. “I mean- don’t– don’t get me wrong, mom, I am happy for you, I just worry about you. Is a baby the best idea right now? I mean… At-at your age it’s dangerous for you and the baby.” He’d recently gone on a deep dive about the risks of pregnancy and common causes for early term miscarriages in male omegas and it had, of course, led down half a dozen other rabbit holes that had kept him up way later than he had intended. “Geriatric pregnancies have such a high failure rate and an increase of risks, not to mention compounding with the issues with alpha pregnancies, do you really want to put your body through all that again?”

“Geri-?” Yuna starts before taking a breath and putting her hand flat on the table. “Shane, I appreciate your concern, really, I do. But I want to try and if I have a miscarriage then it’s my cross to bear.”

Shane feels something clench up inside him at the thought of his mother going through that. She wouldn’t be alone if it happened but he knows how scary the can be when unexpected. Or even if it's something you see coming a mile away.

“I…” He takes a breath, letting his arms unfold as he chews on the inside of his lip and tries to keep himself from getting too emotional about it. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Yuna echoes and Shane nods, staring at where he’s begun to pick at one of his nails absently.

“Okay.” He repeats tightly, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat as Ilya presses his hand back onto his thigh. “I just don’t want you to go through a miscarriage.” His voice is small and Ilya squeezes his leg gently. “Especially if you don’t have to.”

Yuna chuckles, shaking her head as she reaches across the table to take her son’s hand, effectively stopping him from picking at his fingers.

“Honey,” She starts, squeezing his hand tenderly. “Did I ever tell you how many miscarriages I had before we had you?” He shakes his head. He knew they had had difficulties, he wasn’t their first baby. “I had four. Four little boys that we never got to meet.” Her voice softens and gets tight and Shane feels himself tighten up even more, his throat constricting around the burn of tears in his eyes. He can’t imagine the kind of strength that it would take to go through four miscarriages. One is hard enough. “I think i’ll be okay if I have to go through another.”

“Y-you shouldn’t have to go through it again, mama.” His nose feels stuffy, tears are threatening to fall as he keeps his voice low and stares at their joined hands. He turns his hand over and squeezes her’s back.

“I’ll be okay, my sunshine.” She reaches across the table to cup his cheek gently, her palm is warm against his face and he sighs softly, closing his eyes as he leans into it.

5

Late August

“Look at this.” Shane scoots closer to Ilya where they sit in the back of his parents’ car, holding his phone up for his husband to see. He’d been scrolling his private, personal instagram while his parents drove them out to the cabin to fill the time when he’d come across a truly shocking post.

“What are you trying to show me?” Ilya doesn’t sound particularly interested, clearly focusing on trying to keep himself from feeling nauseous instead of the images on shane’s phone.

“Jessica is having another baby.” He doesn’t keep tabs on his ex-girlfriend, but he likes to see what she’s up to every now and again. This is her third pup in as many years.

“Why are you talking to Jessica?” Shane can smell the jealousy rolling off his husband in thick waves as he looks at the screen to see a blond woman holding up an ultrasound printout and a baby onesie printed with little elephants.

“I’m not, she posted about it all over Instagram.” Shane presses his hand to Ilya’s thigh to steady him before the alpha sighs and turns to press his face back into the car window with a grumble about 'stupid Jessica’.

“Who's having another baby?” Yuna twists in her seat, looking back at them with her brows scrunched together. “It better not be Jackie, she’s been through enough after Amber.”

“No, you remember Jessica?” Shane turns his phone around to show his mother the picture and she hums.

“Oh wow, didn’t she just have a baby?” Yuna takes the phone in her hand and scoffs at the picture.

“Yeah, I can’t imagine having two so close like that.” Shane shakes his head as his mother hands the phone back to him, staring at the picture for a long moment before locking his phone and tucking it back into his pocket. He leans across the seat to lay his head on Ilya’s shoulder as they drive, tangling their hands together quietly on his husband’s knee.

This trip is supposed to be getting away from thinking about babies. About having babies, wanting babies, trying for babies. He can’t seem to escape them no matter how hard he tries. He pushes the thought away in favor of trying to sleep the rest of the drive, his head laying on Ilya’s shoulder until they get to the cabin. He doesn’t get much better for the rest of the night, helping unpack and getting everyone settled in their rooms in near silence that’s out of character even for him.

He’s on the back deck while his parents are busy in the kitchen, staring out at the forest around them in the dusklight, every usually vibrant hue of green and brown muted and softened in the lavender light, when Ilya comes up behind him, bracketing him against the railing with his arms as he presses his front against Shane’s back and nips at his neck gently.

“You okay?” Ilya’s voice is soft as he wraps his arm around Shane’s middle and strokes his hip gently.

“Yeah. I’m okay, baby.” Shane presses his hand over Ilya’s leaning back against the alpha and closing his eyes to just take in the warm cherrywood smoke he’s putting off in soothing waves. “I promise, you don’t have to keep soothing me like this.”

“Mmmm you smell like cyanide, miliy. You’re upset.” Ilya kisses his neck again, nipping gingerly before using the hand on Shane’s hip to turn him around to face him. “Is this about Jessica?” Shane shakes his head, biting the inside of his lip hard to distract himself from how his heart squeezes in his chest. He has half a thought to lie, to tell Ilya he’s fine, but he’d look stupid.

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now, Ilya.” Shane leans back against the railing, pressing his hands to Ilya’s chest and picking at his shirt absently. “We can talk about it tomorrow.” He’s prolonging the inevitable conversation that is going to suck so badly. The conversation about if it’s really worth it to keep trying.

Shane isn’t entirely sure it is.

“Okay.” Ilya murmurs softly as he brings a hand up to stroke Shane’s cheek gingerly. “Come on, dinner is ready. And then we nap, mmm?” Shane leans his head into Ilya’s palm, turning to press a kiss to it and breathing in his scent.

“I don’t think it’s called napping this late, Ilya.” Shane chuckles softly before nipping the meat of Ilya’s palm and sliding his hands to squeeze his husband’s shoulders gingerly.

“Then we call it sleep. You need sleep, sweetheart.” It’s true. Shane hasn’t been sleeping at all over the last few days. The closest he’s gotten was his dozing on the drive up to the cabin.

“Okay. We call it sleep.” Shane lays himself against Ilya’s front, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him tightly. He’s not going to cry. He’s not going to cry. Not right now. “I’m sorry.” His voice is tight in his chest as he tries desperately to keep himself from crying in Ilya’s arms.

“Why are you sorry?” Ilya’s arms wrap around Shane easily, holding him like he’s something precious.

“You know why.” He’s not going to say it. If he says it out loud it’s going to stick to him and he’s going to have to feel those feelings all over again.

“No sorries, sweetheart.” Ilya brings his hand up to cup the back of Shane’s head, digging his fingers into his husband’s hair as he presses his face harder into his neck. “Never sorry for that, Shane. That was not your fault.”

“I should’ve known.” Shane’s voice breaks on the last word and he can’t stop the tears, going limp in Ilya’s arms as he shakes with quiet sobs. “I should’ve known, Ilya. I-I should’ve been more careful.”

“Careful of what solnyshko? Careful of doing your job? Careful of protecting something you didn’t know about?” Ilya keeps his face pressed to Shane’s neck, murmuring softly into his skin as he starts to rock them gently side to side. “This was not your fault, Shane, you got hurt.” Ilya voice is so gentle as he squeezes Shane tighter and keeps pressing kisses to his neck.

“I-I should’ve known, Ilya I should've known.” Shane sniffles and sags against his husband more heavily, his body going weak. He hears the back door slide open and takes a breath, pushing himself off Ilya and pinching his eyes closed to try to stop the tears.

“You guys ready for dinner?” Yuna asks gently from the door and Ilya turns to face her, trying to block Shane from view as he does.

“Yeah, we’re coming, mama.” Shane nods as Ilya answers for them and hears the door slide back closed.

“I… I’m gonna go to bed.” His voice stays soft as he leans back on the railing again, letting his hands slide down Ilya’s arms. “I’m not hungry right now.” Ilya squeezes his waist and tugs him off the railing.

“You need to eat something, my love.” Ilya’s voice is gentle and his hands are firm on Shane’s hips. “Is not good for you, you need to eat.” He’s insistent and Shane shakes his head.

“I'll be okay if I miss one meal.” It hasn’t been just one. He can’t seem to stomach the idea of eating anything right now. He hasn’t been able to for the past week. “Drop it, Ilya. I’ll eat later. Just not right now.” He knows Ilya is going to argue about eating, he knows he’s going to push and try to force him to eat something.

“Okay. Okay. I won't make you eat, but i’ll bring dinner up when we’re done, okay?” Shane wants to push back, to say he’s not going to be hungry but he’s so tired. He doesn’t want to fight with his husband right now. He just sighs and nods, closing his eyes and leaning forward to press himself into Ilya again.

“Okay.” He relents quietly before taking a slow breath and straightening up to look Ilya in the eye. “Okay.” Ilya cups his cheek before leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “I love you, I'm sorry i’m being mean.”

“You’re allowed to be mean, you’re sad and hurting. Is okay for now.” Ilya kisses him again and squishes his cheeks. “No more mean tomorrow, lyubov. Tomorrow we get to be sad but not mean.” Shane nods and leans his head into Ilya’s left hand, turning to press a kiss to his palm before bringing both his hands up to rub his face and wipe the tears from his eyes. “Okay, come on, I’ll tuck you in and bring you snackies when we are done with dinner, okay? I will cuddle the mean away and turn you back into my sweet Shanya.” That makes Shane chuckle as Ilya kisses the backs of his hands before leading him inside and up to the loft they’re calling their bedroom for the week.

+1

Mid February (the next year)

“We can’t tell people yet.” Shane is not superstitious. Not to the degree of some people in the league (he’s looking at you, Sidney). But this isn’t something he wants to jinx, even if Ilya is standing in the door to their bathroom at the Ottawa house absolutely vibrating with excitement. “Not even my parents, Ilya. I’m serious.” Shane himself is sitting on the floor of the bathroom with his head hanging over the toilet, speaking at the vomit in the water.

“Okie, okey, I will not tell anyone. What do you need, solnyshko? I get you anything.” This weekend was supposed to be quiet, Valentine’s Day together at home with Anya, never leaving their marital bed for anything other than food. Instead, Anya has been permanently attached to Shane’s lap any time he isn’t in the bathroom throwing up everything he’s eaten in the last twelve hours. The hope in his system is terrifying.

“I need to stop throwing up.” He huffs quietly as he lays his head on the edge of the bowl and stares up at his husband. “I need to call Farah.” He smacks his lips a couple of times and registers the nasty taste sticking to his teeth. “I need water.”

“I can get you water,” Ilya says softly, as he takes a step into the bathroom to run his hands through Shane’s hair. “How sure are you this is a baby?” He asks tenderly as he crouches down next to his husband.

“Pretty fucking sure. I missed my period, I’m throwing up all the time. I’ve been cramping like my period is coming but I’m not even spotting, Ilya.” Shane sighs when Ilya runs his hand through his hair, pressing his wrist to shane’s cheek firmly, soothing him with his warm cherrywood smoke scent.

“And we can’t tell anyone? We have to tell the staff at least.” Ilya presses his hand firmly to shane’s neck, digging his thumb into his scent gland to get him to settle a little bit. It works, Shane can feel himself settling into the feeling of the pressure on him as he leans into the touch.

“That’s why I’m asking you to call Farah. She can tell them I got sick or hurt or something, she’s the only person I trust with this right now.” If anyone can keep a secret to her grave its Farah.

“Harris will figure it out. He’s, unfortunately, very smart but it will be okay, my love.” Ilya stands and shuffles from the bedroom, disappearing into the kitchen while Shane flushes the vomit away and takes the time to brush his teeth.

When he comes back into the bedroom Ilya is sitting on the edge of the bed, unable to fight the huge smile pulling at his lips and a cold glass of water sitting on Shane’s bedside table. Ilya pats the bed gently as he smiles at him and Shane comes to settle directly into his lap, wrapping his arms around Ilya’s shoulders as he feels his heart fluttering in his chest.

“I’m so scared, Ilya.” He presses his nose to Ilya’s scent gland, letting himself vibrate with anxiety as he squeezes his husband. “What if I lose it? What if-what if it never happens?”

“Is okay, one day at a time, Shane. We call Farah, put you on Injury Reserve, that is all we have to worry about, sweetheart.” Ilya’s arm around around shane’s waist, holding him in a firm squeeze that has all the floaty, flighty parts of his being tethered to him by a string. He wants to be hopeful, to take it one day at a time, to pretend that he’s not throwing up from anxiety as well as probable morning sickness. “Here, we call Farah, we tell her what we think is happening, then we confirm and we go from there, my love.” Ilya’s voice stays gentle and quiet as he murmurs into Shane’s ear. Ilya is already shifting to grab his phone before Shane can stop him, not that he wants to stop him, but still.

And they do call Farah, she’s barely awake when she answers but when they give her the probably good news she squeals excitedly. Shane can almost see her bouncing wherever she’s sitting before she starts rattling off things she’s going to need to do once the sun comes up and the rest of the world joins them.

The next week he get an appointment for a blood test and ultrasound and almost breaks down when he sees the teeny tiny little blob of cells on the screen. They come away from the appointment with strict instructions for Shane to stay off the ice until he passes sixteen weeks and for the first time in his life he’s excited to be missing practice. The second talk with Farah is even more exciting than the first one, a FaceTime call where Shane shows the ultrasound and lets himself cry in front of her with joy. He’s so happy, even when Farah says she’s going to have to talk to the league about placing him on injured reserve.

Later that week at the first practice Shane is forced to sit out, he started the day with a meeting with Coach.

“Everything okay?” Wiebe asks gentle when Shane closes the door behind himself. He’s practically thrumming with nerves and excitement as he stands behind the chair in front of Wiebe’s desk. He leans forward and presses his hand to the chair back before straightening up and reaching into his pocket for the ultrasound that had been taken just that morning.

“I uh… I’m gonna need to take some extra time off.” He lays the printout flat on the desk and slides it across to his coach. “More time that we thought, actually. We- I’m pregnant.” His heart squeezes up in his chest as he says it out loud. “I-I don’t wanna tell the boys yet but you need to know.”

“Wow, congratulations, Shane.” Wiebe is laughing as he looks at the ultrasound. “Wow, look at that.” He looks from the ultrasound to Shane and stands to offer a firm handshake that turns into a warm, comforting hug. Shane feels himself leaning into the hug a little bit, smiling quietly and turning to press his face into Wiebe’s shoulder. “Whatever you need from us, son, you let us know. Me, the staff, hell my wife might even be chomping at the bit to help, just let us know, Shane.” Brandon Wiebe’s wife isn’t someone Shane has met many times but she’s always been sweet to him.

“Thank you, coach, I think right now we just wanna keep it quiet. We’ve still got a few weeks before we pass the safe mark so for now we just want to wait until we’re in the clear.” The last time they’d had the excitement of announcing a pregnancy it was ruined within the month. He didn’t want to go through that again. “This is a need-to-know basis and the team doesn’t need to know yet.”

“Yeah, of course. We’ll keep this as quiet as we can.” He hands the ultrasound back to Shane and he just stares at his baby. His tiny little blueberry. “Harris will have to know and I can’t guarantee he won’t tell Troy so you guys might wanna beat him to the punch if you wanna keep it mostly under wraps.”

“Yeah-yeah, we already have plans to tell them tonight. I just needed to tell you for y’know, work reasons.” He’s grateful to have Wiebe as his coach. Shane had initially been worried that it would be like Thierault but younger when he’d first joined but it was a pleasant surprise to find Wiebe couldn’t be further from the Montreal coach.

Wiebe gives him one last hug before letting Shane go back to the locker room, keeping up appearances that he’s just out with an old injury flaring up again. It’s not entirely a lie. He has been aggravating his knee with being hunched over the toilet so often these days that it's gotten more than just sore.

Later that night they meet Harris and Troy out for dinner at their usual spot, nothing suspicious or that could tip either of them off about anything going on out of the ordinary.

Harris, however has been looking at Shane sideways since they sat down.

“What?” Shane asks as Harris stares at him with slightly narrowed eyes over his wine glass.

“You’re pregnant.” The other omega states matter-of-factly and his boyfriend spits his drink out in a sputtering cough. Shane has to fight to keep his grip on his fork steady.

“Harris!” Troy squawks as he recovers from his spit take. “You can’t just say shit like that!”

“Am I wrong?” Harris scoffs before putting his glass down and offering a hand out to Shane who doesn’t exactly deny it. In fact, he doesn’t say anything, he just stares at Harris before turning to look at his husband.

“I mean… we… you were gonna find out eventually, you kinda killed the drama of it but yeah.” Shane chuckles as he brings the ultrasound out again, laying it on the table with a small smile. “We are…” He takes a slow breath, steeling himself to say it out loud. “Eight weeks into this pregnancy. Um, we’re keeping it as quiet as we can until we pass sixteen weeks so please, please don’t tell anyone.” His voice is insistent as he clasps his hands together between his knees and bites his lips together. Harris, for his part squeals and picks up the ultrasound printout, eyes scanning over the little blob on the paper.

It’s not until late April, when Shane’s bump starts to really pop that he even considers telling anyone else.

He’s standing in the bedroom, shirt pulled up and his boxers pulled a little bit lower on his hips around the barely-there roundness of his belly when Ilya stands in the bathroom door, arms crossed and smug smile threatening to pull wider around the toothbrush in his mouth.

“What?” Shane looks from his bump in the mirror to his husband, smiling as hje cups the underside of the teeny tiny little bump.

“Nothing.” Ilya’s' voice is soft as he comes over to rest his hands on Shane’s belly. “Just looking at my beautiful husband and our baby.” Ilya’s hands are large and spread out over Shane’s stomach, almost covering it completely. “Our little lemon.”

“It’s not a lemon, it’s a lime.” Shane laughs as he lays his hands over Ilya’s.

“Yes but lemons are tastier.” Ilya takes his toothbrush from his mouth, turning to nose and kiss at Shane’s bond mark. “Just like you, moya lyubov.” He nips gently and gives the baby a squeeze.

“We’re gonna need to tell people.” Shane chuckles as he leans back into Ilya’s body. “They’re gonna start guessing. I’m pretty sure Bood is already onto us. And Wyatt’s wife, Lisa? She was staring at me the whole night. She can tell, Ilya.”

“Okey, okey, we make a plan to tell people.” Ilya strokes Shane’s belly gingerly, scratching his fingers over his skin tenderly. “Who should we tell first? Mama?”

“I think it’d be unfair if we made my mom wait to hear about her first grandchild,” Shane laughs as he hooks his thumbs to press into Ilya’s palms, turning his head to kiss his husband’s neck gingerly. “Let’s plan dinner, tomorrow night?” Ilya hums quietly in agreement, kissing Shane before guiding him back to bed.

So they plan dinner. Nothing fancy, meeting their parents at their place, David makes chicken parm at Ilya’s request and Sane would be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it. He’s wearing one of Ilya’s old Boston hoodies that’s maybe a little bit too warm for the weather but he doesn’t want to give it away before they get to say anything.

“You look so cute in my clothes.” Ilya coos as he comes around the back of the SUV, resting his hands on Shane’s waist, dangerously close to cupping his bump and giving them away. “Gimme kiss.” Ilya puckers his lips at Shane and he sighs, shaking his head as he kisses his husband.

“I’m so scared,” Shane whispers as he pulls away from the kiss, burying his hands into the front of Ilya’s hoodie as he scrunches his eyes closed. He has a small box in his pocket, a pair of baby booties and the pregnancy test he took on Valentine’s Day with the date written on it in Shane’s messy, boyish handwriting alongside one of his recent anatomy scan printouts that shows the baby’s profile clearly.

“I know. I’m scared too.” Ilya brings his hands up to rub Shane’s arms vigorously. “Is okay, kotik. The worst that could happen is Mama screams.”

“I don’t think my mom is gonna scream, come on we’ve been standing out here too long she’s gonna think something is up.” Shane shifts to start to nudge Ilya toward the door, keeping his head down and his body hunched forward as he wraps his mother in a warm hug. He’s able to keep them distracted enough to ward off suspicion until they get sat down and he inhales twice as much food as he usually would, even going for extra helpings of the garlic bread that he usually doesn’t touch, even in the off season.

“So, how’s everything going with camp prep? Did you find someone to cover for Max?” Shane feels bad when he ducks his chin and shakes his head at his mother’s question. He hadn’t even been thinking about the camps with how much this pregnancy was taking up his time.

“Mmm not yet.” He speaks around a mouthful of the best garlic bread he’s ever tasted as he shrugs. “We still have some time so we’ve been kinda focusing on other things.” He glances from his mother to Ilya who shrugs and winks at Shane.

“Other things?” David speaks up, tilting his head as he looks between the two. “What else do you guys have going on? You’re not adopting another dog, are you?” That makes Ilya groan and pout.

“No, your son is being a dictator, not allowed another dog until we get a cup together.” Ilya waves his hand dismissively, pouting between David and Yuna which makes Shane scoff.

“You liar. That’s not what I said!” Shane laughs as he sits back a little bit and crosses his arms over his chest. “That’s not what I said, mom, I said maybe in a year or two we can think about getting another dog. Lord Stanley is not the reason we’re waiting.”

“Is there a reason? I don’t think it’d be a bad idea to get Anya a sister.” Yuna chuckles alongside her sons, setting her fork down and picking up her glass of wine to take a sip. “Then she’d have someone she can play with while you guys are on the road, it might be a good idea, y’know?”

“No, mom you’re not allowed to make good arguments for getting another dog.” They are good arguments, unfortunately. “There is a reason though.” He reaches into his pocket, pulling out the small, rectangular box and setting it on the tabletop next to his mother’s hand.

“What’s this?” She chuckles as she picks it up, turning it over in her hand. “Mother’s Day isn’t for another couple of days.” She looks from the box to Shane who has one hand presses to Ilya’s thigh and the other tucked into the front pocket of the hoodie, cupping his belly where his parents won’t see.

“Open it.” He jabs his chin toward the package and she rights it in her hands before pulling the lid of the box off and gasping audibly at the contents.

“What?” David leans over enough to look inside the box and his mouth drops open, mirroring his wife’s expression.

“Shane, is this…?” She reaches in and takes the printout in her hand, cradling it like it’s something precious. “Are you pregnant?” She looks up at her son as he brings his hand out of his hoodie, pressing the extra fabric down to highlight his barely-there bump with tears in his eyes. He can’t even say anything as he nods and Yuna almost jumps across the table to wrap her son in a bone crushing, teary hug that kicks Shane into his own tears.

He can’t help it as he cries, hugging his mother as relief floods over him. All his anxiety and all his stress about this baby washing away as he’s held and scented by his mother, bathed in the sweet, grassy green tea and petrichor that soothed him all through his childhood. When she sobs softly into his ear Shane completely lets himself dissolve into happy crying with her, releasing his mother just long enough for Yuna to come around the table and hug Shane again.

“Oh, my son, oh my baby!” She kneels on the floor as Shane turns to face her, cupping his face in her hands and he can feel every delicate line of her fingers searching his face before she reaches up to run her fingers through his hair to fix his bangs. “My baby boy, I’m so happy for you.” She cups his face again, smiling at him and then down at his bump. “Hi, little one.” He reaches up to take her wrist and presses her hand to his belly, there’s no movement, it’s too soon for that but Shane knows she can feel the shape of the baby pressing against his belly like it has been all day. He looks up from his mom’s face as she stares at his belly in wonder to see Ilya staring at him with tears in his own eyes and David looking just as happy.

“Jesus, don’t everyone cry.” Shane laughs as he wipes his eyes, earning a chuckle around the room before Yuna launches into a million questions about the baby and how he’s been feeling.

The next week is when they decide to tell the team.

Shane comes to the rink when all the guys are there for a family skate, dressed down in his comfiest clothes after a bad night’s sleep, and with a little bit of help from Harris the three of them hatch a little plan.

“Come on guys, lets get one big team picture together before the season starts.” Harris’ voice rings clear across the rink, sure to grab everyone’s attention as they glide through their warms ups. “To show everyone how hard you’re working!” Everyone groans, the early hour of the practice is bad enough but needing to pose for a picture that isn’t even going to be used for anything really official making most of the guys lag a little bit. “You too Hollander! Get yuor husband to carry you on the ice if you have to.” Harris waves Shane over to where the guys are all starting to gather and he makes a move to step onto the ice, only to get scooped up by Ilya as he passes the bench, truly swept off his feet like a princess.

“Yeah, Hollander. Get on the ice.” Ilya teases him as he starts to move toward the center of the ice. “You sure this is how you want to do this?” He speaks softly as they skate on, Shane cradled bridal-style in his husband’s arms until they get to their spot, waiting for the rest of the guys to join them.

“I think it’s a little too late to change the plan now.” Shane laughs as he’s placed gently on his feet. “Jesus I’m gonna look like a toddler around you guys.” He’s already shorter than so many guys on the team, without skates on he’s really going to look like the tiniest thing in the world.

“Everyone, tallest guys around Shane right now!” Ilya’s voice booms over everyone else’s and all the defensemen gather around where the married couple stand, laughing and ruffling Shane’s hair plafully before Harris gets his tripod set up on the ice. “Wow you really do look teeny tiny.” Ilya giggles as he rests his hand on Shane’s shoulder, leaning down to kiss his husband on the cheek. “My little Shanyechka.”

“Okay, babe, enough.” There’s no bite in Shane’s words as he wraps his arm around Ilya and tugs him closer to try to ground himself and keep his heart from hammering out of his throat like its threatening to. “Please don’t ruin my hair further and smile for the picture.” He ducks away from Bood’s incoming hand and shoots him a look. “Come on guys, I’m not even the shortest guy on the team, that’s not fair.”

“You are right now, Hollywood.” Dykstra comes next to him and takes Shane into a headlock, digging his knuckle into his scalp a little less than gently. “Little man on campus!” Shane gets his hands between his neck and the loose headlock, laughing as he pries his way free and also shoots Dykstra a look warning him to get in line.

It’s another few seconds of corraling everyone onto the center of the ice and figureing out how to make everyone stand so nobody is missing before Harris starts snapping pictures. Shane is grateful to be at the front, away from where everyone can actively be looking at him in his jacket that is definitely too big to be wearing in late April. He can’t really hear anything over his own pounding heart as they get cycle through a serious picture, a silly picture and then finally Shane gives Harris the thumbs up to tell him he’s ready. He’s not, but there’s no better time than the present.

“Okay! On the count of three everyone say ‘Shane’s pregnant’! One! Tw–”

“YOU’RE WHAT?!”
“FUCK OFF!”
“NOT FUNNY HARRIS!”
“I KNEW IT!!!”

It’s a chorus of different responses and large, heavy bodies all pressing in to try to hug him at once. Ilya is quick to put a hand over Shane’s belly to keep it from getting knocked by large, clumsy hockey players carelessly trying to get in for their chance to squish him. Shane had been so scared to tell the team, that they’d hate him for getting pregnant right when they had had a real shot at the playoffs but looking around all he can see is big, brilliant smiles and the mild terror on the rookies’ faces at the prospect of being uncles to the child of hockey legends.\

“You sly dogs you! We had no idea!” Bood skates around in front of Shane and Ilya, taking them both by the shoulders and bringing them in for a tight hug. “I really thought your knee was busted up after that hit from Bonk.”

“I mean it didn’t feel good but it wasn’t a season-ender.” Shane laughs as he hugs his alternate captain back, using the hand on Ilya’s back to steady himself on the ice. The rest of the morning goes like that, congratulations, hugs and questions. Lots questions. Most of which Shane is happy to answer. Some of which Ilya answers for him, much to his chagrin. At the end of it all Shane is just happy to have a family like this around for when their baby comes into the world.