Work Text:
Luke Skywalker had tried to hate Darth Vader cleanly. It should have been easy.
The man served the Empire. He hunted the Jedi. He stood beside Governor Tarkin while Alderaan burned into nothing. He cut down Ben Kenobi in the Death Star hangar while Luke watched from across the bay, too far away to help and too young to understand that some losses arrived before you were ready to name them.
And Vader murdered his father.
That was what Ben had told him.
That was what Luke repeated to himself whenever the black mask returned in dreams, whenever he heard the rasp of mechanical breathing in the dark place between sleep and waking, whenever he felt that cold shape turn toward him across the stars.
Darth Vader had murdered Anakin Skywalker.
So Luke hated him. He tried to. But hatred, he was learning, was not like targeting womp rats in Beggar’s Canyon. You could not simply line it up, breathe out, and fire.
Sometimes hatred curved. Sometimes it came back carrying questions.
The Rebellion had moved twice since Yavin. Victory had made them famous. Fame had made them easier to find.
The first base after Yavin had lasted only seven weeks before Imperial probes began appearing in nearby systems. The second had been worse, a damp moon wrapped in fog, where every sensor return looked like an enemy and every shadow in the trees seemed tall enough to wear a cape. Now they were scattered again, half the fleet hiding in deep space while scouting parties searched for someplace cold, remote, and miserable enough to keep the Empire away.
Luke had learned that this was what victory looked like. Not parades. Not peace. Movement. Rationing. Tired pilots sleeping in flight suits. Commanders arguing over fuel. Medics treating blaster burns in cargo holds. People saying Alderaan in low voices, as if speaking it too loudly might break something that had not already been broken.
He had also learned that destroying the Death Star had not made him less afraid.
It had only taught the fear his name. “Skywalker.”
Luke turned.
Leia stood in the doorway of the maintenance bay, arms folded, white sleeves rolled to her elbows. She looked exhausted. Everyone did. But exhaustion on Leia seemed to sharpen rather than soften her.
“You missed briefing.”
Luke looked down at the open panel of his X-wing.
“Sorry. I was checking the motivator coupling.”
“You checked it yesterday.”
“It was making a sound.”
Leia stepped into the bay.
“Was it?”
Luke wiped grease from his fingers with a rag and gave the coupling a look of betrayal.
“It might have been.”
Leia almost smiled.
That was another thing the Rebellion had taught him. People did not smile the way they used to. Not because there was nothing funny. Sometimes there was nothing to do but laugh. But every smile seemed to pass through grief first, and not all of them survived the trip.
“You should have been there,” Leia said.
Luke leaned against the fighter.
“Bad news?”
“Imperial sweep through the Kaldar sector. Three safehouses gone. A supply convoy captured. Two rebel cells went dark.”
Luke straightened.
“Anyone we know?”
“We do now.”
He heard the edge in her voice.
Leia handed him a datapad. Luke took it.
The report was brief, clipped, and ugly. Names of planets. Casualty estimates. Missing personnel. Fragments from survivor accounts.
At the bottom was a single line that made his stomach tighten. Lord Vader personally oversaw the operation. Luke stared at the words.
The maintenance bay seemed to grow quieter around him. He could hear it again. Not here. Not really. But memory had a way of making its own air.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Black armor crossing a polished floor. Red blade raised. Ben standing calm, almost gentle, as if the monster before him were not a monster at all but a sorrow he had expected.
“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
Luke closed his hand around the datapad.
“Luke?”
He looked up. Leia was watching him carefully.
“He was there?” Luke asked.
“Yes.”
“Did anyone see him?”
“A few survived long enough to report it.”
There was something in the way she said survived. A restraint that told him she had read more than the summary. Luke looked back at the report.
“What happened?”
Leia did not answer immediately.
“Nothing we need to go over in the maintenance bay.”
“That bad?”
Her face hardened.
“That Imperial.”
Luke swallowed.
He wanted anger to come. It did, but not in the way he wanted. Anger should have been bright. Simple. Useful. This felt tangled. A black knot behind his ribs.
“I want to help,” he said.
“You are helping.”
“I mean with Vader.”
Leia’s eyes narrowed.
“No.”
“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“Yes, I do.”
Luke set the datapad down.
“Leia, he killed Ben.”
“I was there.”
“He killed my father.”
Leia’s expression changed, but not enough for him to read it.
“And he helped hold me still while Alderaan died,” she said.
The words landed between them. Luke looked away first.
“I know.”
“No,” Leia said, quieter now. “You don’t.”
The maintenance bay hummed. Somewhere outside, a mechanic laughed too loudly, then stopped as if remembering himself. Leia stepped closer.
“I’m not saying you don’t have reason to hate him. You do. We all do. But don’t turn him into your private quest.”
Luke bristled.
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Isn’t it?”
He wanted to argue. Instead, he saw Ben’s empty cloak on the Death Star floor. He saw the red blade. He saw the mask turning toward him. He heard his own voice screaming, “No!”
Luke looked down at his hands.
“I just keep thinking there has to be a reason.”
“For what?”
“For him.”
Leia said nothing. Luke struggled to explain it, even to himself.
“For someone to become that. To do those things. There has to be something behind it.”
“There usually is,” Leia said. “It doesn’t bring the dead back.”
That should have ended it. Leia had a way of saying true things so directly that arguing felt childish. But the question stayed.
That night, Luke dreamed of sand. Not the sand of Tatooine.
That would have made sense. He knew the weight of that sand, the way it crept into boots and machinery and the corners of your mouth when the wind shifted. He knew the heat of it, the glare, the horizon that looked endless until you realized endlessness could be another kind of wall. This sand was darker. Wet in places. Burning in others.
He stood on a shore beneath a sky the color of bruised metal. Ash drifted down like snow. The air smelled of smoke, salt, and something scorched beyond naming.
Ahead of him stood a door. It was black, tall, and set into nothing. No wall held it. No building surrounded it. It simply stood there on the burning shore, sealed and waiting.
Luke knew Vader was behind it.
He knew it the way he knew where the trigger was under his finger, the way he knew the shape of the Force when he let go over the Death Star trench.
He should have turned away. Instead, he stepped closer. From behind the door came breathing.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Then something else.
A voice. Not Vader’s. Not Ben’s.
A man’s voice, faint and strained, as if speaking from far underground.
“Help me.”
Luke woke with his hand reaching into the dark. He was in his bunk aboard the transport. Metal walls. Thin blanket. Someone snoring two bunks down. The ship shuddering softly as it drifted through deep space.
No burning shore. No door. No voice. His heart hammered anyway. He sat up and rubbed his face. It was only a dream.
He had been having strange dreams since Yavin. Ben’s voice sometimes came to him at the edge of sleep, or in quiet moments when the world narrowed and the Force seemed close enough to touch.
But this had not felt like Ben. It had not felt like memory either. It felt like a transmission from someplace he had no frequency for. Luke swung his feet to the floor and sat there until his breathing slowed. Then, very quietly, he whispered, “Who are you?” No one answered.
The next day, he went looking for records.
The Rebellion did not have much, and what it had was scattered across ships, hidden drives, personal archives, and the memories of people who had survived things they did not like discussing. The Empire had not only conquered. It had edited. Whole histories had vanished into sealed files and corrected textbooks.
Anakin Skywalker was harder to find than Luke expected. His own father. A Jedi Knight.
A hero of the Clone Wars, according to Ben. And yet the public archives were almost empty.
Luke found references in old military dispatches. Fragments of speeches. Battle commendations. A few corrupted holos where a young man in Jedi robes stood near clone troopers, always moving slightly, as if the recording had caught him between decisions. The face was blurred in most of them.
Luke stared anyway. He tried to feel something. Recognition. Grief. Pride. Anything.
But the man in the holos was a stranger. A stranger with his name. A stranger Ben had loved enough to mourn.
“You’re digging in dangerous places.”
Luke startled and turned. General Dodonna stood behind him, older and quieter than most people noticed, one hand resting on the back of a chair. Luke scrambled to close the file.
“General. I was just...”
“Looking up your father.”
Luke froze. Dodonna gestured toward the terminal.
“I saw him once.”
Luke’s breath caught. “You did?”
“From a distance. During the war. A Republic command station near Anaxes.” Dodonna’s eyes shifted, not to the room, but to some older place. “He was younger than I expected. Most Jedi were, though we pretended not to notice. Easier to call them generals if we forgot how young some of them were.”
Luke turned back to the blurred holo. “What was he like?”
Dodonna considered the question carefully. “Brave.”
Luke waited.
“Reckless,” Dodonna added.
That almost made Luke smile.
“Kind, I think. To his men, at least. But there was an anger in him too. A restlessness. He seemed like a man always running toward something and away from something else.”
Luke absorbed that. It did not match the father he had built in his head. He was not sure he wanted it to.
“Ben said Vader murdered him.”
Dodonna was silent long enough that Luke looked at him. The general’s face gave away nothing.
“That is what I heard as well,” he said. But something in his tone shifted. Not a lie. Not exactly. A door closing. Luke hated doors.
“What happened to Vader?” he asked.
Dodonna frowned.
“What do you mean?”
“He was a Jedi too, wasn’t he?”
The general looked sharply at him.
“That is not a question many people ask.”
“Do you know?”
“No.” Dodonna’s voice lowered. “And I would be careful where you ask it. The Empire does not like old names spoken around new monsters.”
Old names. New monsters.
Luke thought of the dream. A voice behind a door.
Help me.
“Was Vader always like that?”
Dodonna looked tired.
“No one is always anything, Commander Skywalker.”
Then he left Luke alone with the records.
For three days, Luke slept badly. The dream came back in pieces. A black door on a burning shore. Breathing behind it. A gloved hand pressing against the other side, not pounding, not demanding, only there. As if waiting for him. Sometimes Luke heard Vader’s voice instead.
“The Force is strong with this one.”
He had not heard it at Yavin, not with his ears. But in the dream, he knew Vader had said it.
He knew Vader had felt him. That thought should have frightened him. It did.
But beneath the fear was something else. A pull. Luke began training harder.
There was no Jedi Master to teach him. Only Ben’s voice when it chose to come, a training remote that shocked him more often than it should, a lightsaber he barely understood, and the stubborn belief that he could become something before the Empire found them all.
He practiced in cargo holds, empty corridors, maintenance bays. He reached out with the Force until sweat ran down his temples and his head ached. He lifted small crates. He sensed movement with his eyes closed. He failed. He cursed. He tried again.
One evening, after a disastrous attempt to deflect bolts from three remotes at once, Han Solo found him sitting on the floor surrounded by smoking marks.
Han leaned against the hatchway.
“Kid, I’ve seen better survival instincts in mynocks.”
Luke glared up at him. “I’m training.”
“Yeah. I got that from the part where you let a floating ball shoot you.”
Luke climbed to his feet. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Han lifted his eyebrows.
“There it is.”
“What?”
“The farmboy tone.”
Luke clipped the lightsaber to his belt. “I don’t have a tone.”
“You’ve got several. That one says, ‘I have destiny problems and no one appreciates them.’”
Despite himself, Luke laughed.
It felt good.
Then it faded.
Han noticed. He always noticed more than he admitted.
“What’s eating you?”
Luke hesitated. “Vader.”
Han’s face changed. The joke left him.
“What about him?”
“I keep dreaming about him.”
“Don’t.”
“That’s not really something I can just decide.”
“Sure it is. Drink something terrible, pass out, dream about nothing. Works great.”
“Han.”
Han sighed and stepped fully into the room. “What kind of dreams?”
Luke looked toward the training remote, still hovering unevenly in the corner.
“There’s a door. I think he’s behind it. But someone else is too.”
Han stared at him. “That sounds exactly like the kind of thing an old wizard would say right before getting someone killed.”
Luke bristled. “Ben was not just an old wizard.”
“I know.”
The softness in Han’s voice surprised him.
Han looked uncomfortable with it too.
“I know what he meant to you,” Han said. “I’m just saying, maybe don’t go looking for meaning inside the helmet of the man who killed him.”
Luke’s hand went to the lightsaber at his belt. “What if there is meaning there?”
“Then it’s probably ugly.”
“I know.”
“No, kid. You don’t.” Han stepped closer. “Some people have reasons. Some people have sad stories. Some people have a whole opera’s worth of pain behind them. Then they still make choices. Vader’s made his.”
Luke looked away. Everyone kept saying that. Leia. Dodonna. Han. They were right. That was the worst part. They were right, and it still did not quiet the dream.
“What if he can be stopped another way?” Luke asked.
Han stared at him like he had started speaking Huttese.
“Another way besides blowing him out of space?”
Luke nodded. Han shook his head.
“I liked it better when you were reckless in normal ways.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” Han pointed toward the corridor. “That guy doesn’t hesitate. You do. Hesitation gets you killed.”
Luke thought of the Death Star hangar. Ben raising his blade. Ben smiling. Vader striking him down.
“Ben hesitated,” Luke said.
“No,” Han replied. “Ben chose.”
Luke had no answer for that.
The next report came two weeks later. A rebel listening post intercepted a distress call from a medical frigate near the Mid Rim. The ship had been carrying defectors, wounded civilians, and three former Republic senators wanted by the Empire.
Vader found them. By the time Alliance command received the signal, the frigate was already gone. Not destroyed. Boarded. Taken.
Leia read the report in silence, then excused herself from the command room with a face like stone. Luke followed her.
He found her in an observation blister, staring out at the stars. For a while he said nothing.
Then, because he was young and grieving and did not yet know how to let silence do its work, he said, “I’m sorry.”
Leia did not look at him. “For what?”
“The senators. The people on the ship.”
Her reflection in the transparisteel blinked once.
“There are always people on the ship.”
Luke stood beside her. He wanted to say something better. Nothing came.
After a moment, Leia said, “When I was on the Death Star, Vader questioned me.”
Luke went still. She had never told him much about that. Not directly.
“He wanted the location of the Rebel base. I wouldn’t give it to him. So he brought in a droid.”
Her voice stayed level. That made it worse.
“I thought I understood fear before that. I was wrong.”
Luke’s throat tightened. “Leia...”
“He didn’t shout. He didn’t rage. That might have been easier. He just stood there. Watching. Waiting. Like pain was a tool and he had all the time in the galaxy to use it properly.”
Luke closed his eyes. The door in the dream stood before him again. Black. Silent. Waiting.
Leia turned to him. “So when you ask whether there is something behind the mask, I understand the question.” Her eyes shone, but her voice did not break. “But whatever is there, Luke, it watched.”
He could not defend Vader.
He did not want to. So why did guilt move through him?
“I’m not trying to forgive him,” Luke said.
“I know.”
“I hate him.”
Leia studied him. “Do you?”
Luke opened his mouth.
No answer came.
Leia looked back at the stars. “I do,” she said.
There was no pride in it. Only fact.
“And some days, it is the only thing in me that feels strong enough to stand.”
Luke understood that more than he wanted to. He left her there because she needed him to, and because he needed to be anywhere else.
That night, the dream changed. The shore was closer to Mustafar now, though Luke did not know the name. Lava moved in red rivers beneath black stone. Heat bent the air. The door stood at the edge of a precipice.
Luke approached it. The breathing came as always.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
But this time, there was another sound beneath it. A child crying. “Will I ever see you again?” Luke stopped. He looked down. The ground at his feet was covered in sand. Tatooine sand.
It spilled from under the door in a thin, pale line, impossible and familiar.
Luke knelt. The crying stopped. A voice spoke from behind the door.
“Luke.”
He stumbled backward. Not help me. Not a stranger. His name. The door shook once, as if something enormous had struck it from the other side.
Then Vader’s voice filled the dream.
“The Force is strong with this one.”
The door cracked. Red light spilled through.
Luke woke with his father’s lightsaber in his hand. He didn’t remember grabbing it.
The blade was not ignited, but his thumb rested on the switch. He sat in the dark, shaking.
This time, Ben spoke. Not aloud. Not exactly.
“Luke.”
He knew that voice. Softer than memory, but clearer than thought.
Luke looked toward the empty room.
“Ben?”
Silence.
Then, faintly:
“Beware anger.”
Luke swallowed. “I’m trying.”
No answer.
“Is Vader...”
The question stuck.
He did not know how to finish it.
Is Vader what?
Lying?
Waiting?
Calling?
Hunting?
Human?
“Is there someone in there?” Luke whispered. The room remained dark and still.
When Ben answered, the voice sounded very far away. “There is always a choice.”
Luke gripped the lightsaber. “For him?”
A long silence. “For you.”
Then Ben was gone.
Luke sat awake until morning. After that, he stopped telling people about the dreams.
Not because they were unimportant, but because they were too important.
The Rebellion found its next hiding place on a frozen world so remote it barely seemed worth naming. Hoth, the scouts called it. Luke heard pilots grumble about ice, tauntauns, and whether dying from exposure counted as being killed by the Empire if the Empire had driven them there in the first place.
Work helped. Work always helped.
He flew patrols. Hauled crates. Helped calibrate shield equipment. Got yelled at by mechanics. Laughed with Wedge over bad caf. Let Han mock his cold-weather gear. Listened when Leia gave orders. Tried not to stare when she looked too tired to carry the weight everyone kept handing her. And still, sometimes, in the howl of Hoth’s wind, he heard breathing.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
He did not hate Vader cleanly. He knew that now. He hated him truly, maybe, but not cleanly.
There was fear in it. Grief. Curiosity. A strange ache he could not explain. A sense that the shadow ahead of him was shaped like something behind him too.
His father.
Ben.
The Jedi.
The war that had ended before he was born and somehow still seemed to be reaching for him.
One evening, before the base was fully operational, Luke stood alone outside the south entrance and watched the horizon turn blue with coming night. The cold bit through his gloves. His breath steamed before him. He took his father’s lightsaber from his belt.
No.
Not his father’s.
His.
Ben had given it to him. His father had wanted him to have it. That was the story. Luke turned the hilt in his hand. A tool. A weapon. A relic. A promise.
He wondered if Anakin Skywalker had ever stood somewhere cold, holding this same saber and wondering what kind of man he was becoming. He wondered if anyone had tried to stop him. He wondered if anyone had reached for the door before it closed.
The wind rose. For a moment, Luke felt something.
Far away.
A presence like a star collapsed into black iron. Vast. Cold. Burning at the center. Turning slowly toward him.
Vader.
Luke should have recoiled. Instead, he reached back. Not with words. Not with forgiveness. Not with mercy. Only with recognition.
I’m here.
The presence sharpened. The cold around Luke seemed to deepen. The mountain, the base, the snow, the stars, all of it narrowed to a single line drawn across impossible distance.
Then the presence was gone.
Luke staggered, one hand against the ice wall. His heart raced. Inside the base, someone called his name. He didn’t answer at first.
He looked out over the frozen waste, toward nothing, toward everything.
Darth Vader had murdered his father. That was what Ben had told him. That was what Luke still believed.
But out there in the dark, something had heard him. Something had turned. Not like a stranger. Like an answer.
Luke clipped the lightsaber back onto his belt. He was not ready. He knew that too.
Not ready to face Vader. Not ready to understand the dreams. Not ready to know why hatred failed him whenever the black mask filled his sleep and the door appeared on the burning shore.
But he would be.
One day, he would stand before Darth Vader again. Maybe in a hangar. Maybe on a battlefield. Maybe in some place of darkness and machinery and impossible truth.
When that day came, Luke hoped he would be strong enough to strike. He feared he would be foolish enough to listen.
And somewhere deep beneath that fear, in a place he did not yet have the courage to name, he hoped there would be something left to hear.
The wind moved across Hoth.
Luke turned back toward the base.
Behind him, the stars watched in silence.
Ahead of him, the door waited.
