Work Text:
Prologue
“I promise I'll take care of him.”
That had been the vow he'd made to his two friends as they'd left the company. He didn't expect the task at hand to be easy, but he hadn't been worried about it. He'd been out with them enough to know what to expect.
But things were very different when you were alone.
At first, everything was fine.
Shawn did still go out drinking and partying like he always did, and Hunter had never expected that to change. He'd go with him, keep an eye on Shawn and make sure he got back to the hotel that night safe and sound.
He could deal with that.
But things never seemed to stay simple for long. He knew what the start of the trouble was, could pin point it exactly back to the night of Survivor Series 1997.
It was understandable that on that night, given the circumstances, Shawn wouldn't come out of that the same guy that went into it. He might have developed a thick shell, but it wasn't that thick. And that night, the cracks had started to show.
Maybe the others hadn't noticed, but nobody was around Shawn more than he was. He was close enough to see those faint cracks that started to appear and he watched them deepen as the days passed by.
Then those pills that Shawn took when he was having a 'bad day' seemed to get shovelled down his throat more frequently.
Once January rolled by and he injured his back, things got out of control.
Who's gonna tell you when it's too late.
He wasn't surprised by the call he got, and he wondered why it hadn't come sooner in all honesty.
“What's up with Shawn? I saw him on TV, he looks like shit.”
“You know about his back, right?”
“Yeah, but fuck me Paul, what's he on?”
“Same shit you guys used to be on every night.” Hunter said, defensively, feeling like he was being blamed for Shawn's behaviour.
“How often is he taking stuff?”
“I don't know, I'm not his minder, he does manage to step away from me from time to time. I can't be with him 24-7.”
“Look, just, talk to him will ya. Tell him I'm worried about him.”
“Yeah, you and me both.”
“I gotta go.”
As Hunter hung up, he had a feeling that they'd gone past the point where they could talk Shawn out of his problems.
Who's gonna tell you things aren't so great.
They'd talked. Or tried to.
Whenever the conversation had come up and Hunter tried to discuss things with Shawn he'd either change the subject or, if he'd recently taking something, he'd yell at Hunter. Tell him about how much pain he was in, how he was supposed to just keep going until he lost the belt at Mania and then the company would be discarding him afterwards. It became a general rant on Shawn's part about how hard off he was and how Hunter understood nothing about what he was going through. And the honest truth was, he didn't.
Shawn and him didn't seem to be in the same place they were mere months ago. Shawn occasionally fell back into what they used to be like, but it never lasted. The pills seemed to feed his anger and hatred towards everyone. The stupid thing was that even now, the way he treated Hunter was pretty much his best behaviour.
Hunter had decided that now was the time to talk, because he wasn't sure how much longer they'd be together. Shawn wasn't planning on being around much after Mania. He needed to rest his back, see what he'd be able to do in the future. So now, the day of WrestleMania 14, he was going to try one last time to have the conversation that Shawn had been getting out of for the last few weeks.
Hunter had gone to get them both some water, while Shawn had stayed in the private dressing room he had. Not even Steve Austin, who was about to win the belt from Shawn, had that. Nor did he have a security guard posted outside his door. It almost looked like someone had planned a mob hit on Shawn the amount of protection he had.
“Here you go.” Hunter said, setting Shawn's water down next to him.
“Thanks.” Shawn said. He had a bottle of pills out, ready to down some before his match.
“Shawn, listen...” He had Shawn's attention, now he had to find the words. “I'm worried about you.” Down right blatant honesty was going to have to do the trick.
“Oh?” Shawn said casually, not visibly reacting to the statement.
“Yeah, Kev is too.”
“He's not said anything to me.” Shawn said defensive.
“It's not the best way to talk about something like that is it, over the phone.”
“But he did with you.”
“That's different.”
“Look, you can both stop worrying. I'm fine. Am I taking painkillers right now? Yeah, 'cause I gotta get through this match. Once I have no matches lined up, things'll be different.”
Hunter didn't feel reassured by those words, but he couldn't ask for anything more right now. Shawn did have a serious back issue and shouldn't be going into this match in all honesty. Several doctors had said that, so it wasn't as though he were making crap up. But it still worried him.
He knew the best he could do for him was be there for him if he needed him. Watch out for him.
And he watched as Shawn poured out a random amount of pills from the bottle and swallowed them with the water.
As Shawn attempted to dissolve his pain with pills, Hunter knew that it would take a lot to dissolve the fear that grew with in him for his friend.
Who's gonna pick you up when you fall?
As he climbed into the ring as the show finished, his urge was to just pick him up and carry him out to the back. He was okay, that's what Shawn kept saying anyway, but he was still lying on the mat, taking his time.
When he started to get up, Hunter was ready to help him, but Shawn was as stubborn as ever and made his way over to the ropes and pulled himself up there rather than let the referee's help him.
Rather than let his friend help him. That realisation hit Hunter like a tonne of bricks. Why struggle over to the ropes when your friend was right there to pull you up? Was Shawn's ego so huge that even off air, he couldn't let someone help him when he needed it? Or was he trying to show his friend he was okay, that he really didn't need the help being offered to him.
And that was that. They went backstage, eventually back to the hotel.
Two days.
That was how long after a match you might be sore for. Shawn would probably be in more pain because of his back, but Hunter was sure that after that the pain should start to lessen. And the pills should start to decrease. He had two days.
Who's gonna hang it up when you call?
It had been Kevin's idea. Have the five of them meet up for the first time in ages.
It had taken some doing though, they were all so busy with their schedules that finding a day when no one had anything on had been tough. They'd managed it.
But there was something different now.
The laughs and good times seemed to have vanished into Kevin telling stories about life in WCW. Sean just sat, bitter at the company and making stupid comments to whatever Kevin said, while Shawn and Scott seemed to be have a secret drinking competition to see who could drink the most and say the least. That just left Hunter there to see soberly and watch the mad scene as it played out in front of him.
There was nothing remotely fun about the night. Sean went off outside to throw up on a girl he'd been trying to pull all night, leaving the four others alone. Scott and Shawn went off to the bathroom together. They probably thought they'd been subtle and discreet with their plans to leave the table, but it was obvious to Hunter they were leaving to supply each other with whatever goodies the other had on him.
“Could they be any more obvious?” Hunter asked Kevin, who gave a drunk shrug. He wasn't as bad as the other three, but he wasn't good either. He sat there a little whole longer before he made his way to the restroom.
It appeared to be deserted, except the sound of someone vomitting down one of the toilets.
When the man stopped, he spoke. Hunter recognised Scott's voice immediately. “Man, what a waste of all that junk.”
Hunter pushed at the door to the stall, seeing it wasn't locked. “You okay?” He asked the older man, who was sat on the floor.
“Better now. Maybe Kev's got a refresher for me.” He said, starting to pull himself up. Hunter helped pull him up and guided him towards the door.
“Shawn?” Hunter asked. He got no reply from the Texan. Sighing, he looked at the other doors and tried all of them one by one. Shawn was in the cubicle a few down from Scott. He was slumped against the wall with what Hunter hoped was spit running down his face. He shook Shawn to wake him. His eyes slithered open a crack, saw Hunter and slipped closed again.
Hunter heard a faint voice and realised Shawn had his phone out and had connected with someone.
He picked it up and cut off the conversation without an explanation. How could he even try and explain this anyway?
Who's gonna pay attention to your dreams?
It didn't take long for Shawn to stir.
Another night he'd taken from his time to spend with his friend and this is all that ever seemed to happen. A night of drinking and popping pills for Shawn whilst Hunter waited for the inevitable to happen. Shawn passing out, the struggle to get him to the car and then once they got back to the hotel things always were strange. He could never tell how Shawn was going to be.
Sometimes he'd be quite talkative and open, like all the drugs had done had made Shawn drop the guard. Hunter knew that Shawn's often aggressive nature was only that way because of the hurt he hid behind it. He didn't want people to think that he was affected by anything anyone had to say about him, so the walls went up and Shawn stayed well and truly behind them. Only the people on the same side as Shawn saw the real him. It wasn't always nice but it was who he really was.
Other times Shawn would just zone out.
Tonight he was talkative.
“You think you'd be here now?” Shawn asked as he lay across the bed, tiredly.
“In a hotel room with you? Not really.”
“I don't mean that.” Shawn said. “Is this what you thought wrestling would be like?”
Hunter didn't think about it very often. He looked across to Shawn from where he sat. Shawn was out of action for however long because of his back injury. His days consisted of pouring alcohol and pills down his throat to block out the pain, and not just the physical pain, but the mental anguish that burnt behind the cool blue eyes. All he had was wrestling, and he couldn't even do that now. That was why he was here with him when he had nothing better to do.
“No, it's not what I though it'd be.” Hunter said.
Shawn looked across to Hunter. Blue eyes shining up at Hunter... sometimes he looked so innocent. “Me neither.”
And who's gonna plug their ears when you scream?
Shawn was laid on the bed of the hotel, eyes fixed, staring at the ceiling.
Somehow, Hunter had been left with Shawn again. Not a problem until he'd had some weird reaction to the cocktail of drink and drugs he had in his system and had started having some crazy hallucinations. He'd completely freaked out half way back up to his room and kept insisting there was something under his skin.
Hunter had to half drag him back, kicking and screaming to the room, and try and calm him down before they were thrown out.
He hushed Shawn soothingly until he calmed down, held the older man's trembling body against his as he lay him down on the bed. Shawn's panic seemed to lessen but still he mumbled about what was under his skin. Hunter loosened his grip from around Shawn and sat himself up a little so he could see the Texan. Shawn lay on his side and Hunter gently rolled him onto his back and desperately tried to get eye contact. When he couldn't get it, he sat up more, made Shawn take notice, held his head gently in his hands. He felt Shawn's burning skin under his fingers.
“Shawn, listen I'm here, everything okay.” Hunter said, his voice sounding as calm as ever even if inside he felt torn apart by the state his friend was in.
“It's in me, get it out.” Shawn begged, pleading with Hunter as his eyes continued to dart around the room.
“There's nothing wrong with you, I can see. You're fine.”
“There is!” Shawn bellowed “It's the evil inside of me and it's eating me alive... from the inside.. I can feel it.”
“There's nothing wrong with you!” Hunter said forcefully.
Shawn quietened down, stopped struggling against Hunter. Slowly, Hunter released his grip. “There's nothing wrong?” Shawn whispered.
“No.” Hunter reassured. “Nothing bad is inside you and eating you.”
“The bad stuff's all me then.” Shawn said.
“What? No!” Hunter protested. “Shawn, you're not bad. You just.... you need to have a break or something.”
“Break? The only break anyone needs is from me.” Shawn got off the bed. “Get out!”
“Shawn it's the middle of the night, you just need some sleep.”
“I need you out. Get out, I want you out! Get out, GET OUT!!!!” Shawn's voice rose with every word until he screamed the last two.
“Calm down.” Hunter hushed, trying to reason with the delusional man.
It didn't take long before a knock at the door. “Sir, is everything okay?” Came a voice from the other side.
Shawn's eyes wildly scanned the room before he headed over to the door. Forcefully opening it he grabbed the man outside. “He needs to leave.” He said shoving him towards Hunter.
Hunter looked at the bewildered man. “Okay, I'm going.” Hunter said to Shawn. The man escorted Hunter out, looking weary of Shawn as he waited at the door for them to get out before slamming it shut behind them.
He looked to Hunter for an explanation. “I think you need to call an ambulance. His out of his mind on drink and drugs. I don't want him to hurt anybody when he's in that state.”
“I'll do it straight away. I er....” He seemed hesitant to leave the door.
“I'll stay here and make sure he doesn't leave, is that what you want?” Hunter asked.
“We have other guests, you understand.”
“Yeah.” Hunter agreed. He stood by the door as the man walked away to call an ambulance. Hunter rested against the wall.
And all he could hear was Shawn inside the room, repeating over and over 'The evil's in me.'