Chapter Text
Alya places a hand on Marinette's shoulder. "I'm telling you girl. I've seen how obsessed fangirls look at Adrien. Tanya doesn't look at him like that."
"Oh no. You're telling me she's even more obsessed with him than the usual crazy!? She said it's no problem who Adrien hangs out with now. But what if that's just a trap to lure him in! She will pretend to be sad when everyone is together. Then act all lovey dovey when it's just the two of them. And when Adrien starts noticing he's gonna-"
Alya tunes out her friend and shakes her head with a smile. There is no way Tanya von Degurechaff will be the girl that turns Adrien's life upside-down.
~~Inside an abandoned subway station~~
"I know it's you Adrien." Says Tanya nonchalantly.
"Uhh... Weird way to start a conversation but ok?" Cat Noir tries to hide his shock.
"You can choose to keep lying to me if you want. Frankly, it doesn't matter what you think as long as you listen to what I have to say."
Trying to appear unperturbed, Cat Noir leans against a wall and smirks. "Hmm... Alright, not every day I get to hear from conspiracy theorists."
Tanya nods. "First off. Stop transforming out on the streets. Even if you go into a secluded corner, it's still not safe. How street cameras didn't catch you in the act yet is a miracle to me."
Cat Noir realizes that Tanya managed to follow him affer he ditched her at the ice cream cart. "Oh..."
"Second, stop talking with whoever Plagg is in your room. All I had to do was place my ear on your door and I could hear you two clear as day."
Cat Noir drops a sweat. Now able to see Tanya was a lot more perceptive than his father and Natalie. "Oh no..."
"And third, I mean to congratulate you for how well you are disguising yourself."
"T-Tanya wait! You can't tell-...Wha?"
"You are doing an excellent job with your disguise. The perfect child of the Agreste family becoming a wise cracking free spirit? Even I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it for myself. I only hope Ladybug is smart enough to crate the same discrepancy between her civilian and hero identity."
~~At the Agreste mansion~~
Gabriel Agreste smiles with pride as he reads Tanya's diligent weekly report on her and Adrien's activities. "She's perfect, Natalie."
Natalie frowns. "I am not so sure Gabriel."
"What makes you think that?"
"I was looking at how she was acting during the last akumatized villain attack."
"She made sure Adrien got to safety first and foremost. What is the problem with that?"
Natalie shakes her head. "It's not her actions that concern me. But her reactions. She didn't look scared, or anxious, or even determined."
She scrunches her eyebrows. "She looked... annoyed..."
"Annoyed?"
"Yes Gabriel. A villain that put everyone's lives in danger made her... annoyed... Like... she has dealt with this before..."
Gabriel narrows his eyes at that. "Tsurugi-san recommended her services personally... Do you think she is..?"
"I will ask Miss Tsurugi about it. If anything, she could at the very least make for a strong Akumatized villain."
Gabriel nods. "See that you do, Natalie."
~~Back in the abandoned train station~~
Cat Noir deadpans at her. "Ooooookay? If you don't like this job, why don't you just quit?"
Tanya looks at him as if he spoke alien language. "You think I wouldn't if I could?"
She takes another sip of her coffe.
"Tsurugi-san personally recommended my services to Mr. Agreste. If I quit, the consequences will be disastrous."
Cat Noir facepalms. "What consequences? Just quit and leave!"
Tanya shakes her head. "If I do that, the stain on my credibility will never be washed away. Wherever I will try to find employment next, they will find me. And they will slander me until everyone looks at me like i murdered someone."
Car Noir frowns. "My father wouldn't... he wouldn't ruin your reputation you if you quit..."
Tanya sighs. "I can tell you're not really interested in the family business. So it's perfectly understandable that you only see Mr. Agreste's family side. I, on the other hand, saw his business side. So I'll put it in simple terms."
She shoots Cat Noir a deathly glare that nearly makes the hero jump.
"I hate this job. But if I quit now, the damage that the Agreste AND Tsurugi names combined will do to me, is worse than any Akumatized villain."
Cat Noir chuckles. "You're seriously more afraid of father and Miss Tsurugi than Hawkmoth?"
"Can Ladybug's lucky charm give me a low risk high income job?"
"Erm... No?"
"Then yes. I am in fact more afraid of them than Hawkmoth."
"Okay okay fine." Cat Noir lifts his hands in surrender. "So, what happens next?"
Tanya raises an eyebrow at him. "Next? You give me your miraculous. You're not cut out for this."
Cat Noir's eyes widen. "WHAT!?"
"And frankly speaking, Ladybug isn't either. Honestly, why would she choose Chloe Burgeois to be a super hero? A child with no combat experience whatsoever. Makes me wonder if Ladybug is a student as well..."
"WHOA WHOA WHOA! PAUSE!"
"Hmm? What are you waiting for? Give me the ring."
"Why!?"
"Because if you die to an akumatized villain, who do you think Mr. Agreste is going to blame?"
Cat Noir folds his arms. "Hawkmoth. Obviously."
"No. Me. He will blame me because I let you risk your life like this. So until I get you trained to fight properly, no super heroing."
Cat Noir shakes his head. "I can't just give this up, even temporarily. Ladybug is going to need me."
"Alright. Let her know I will be your replacement until I deem you ready."
Cat Noir drops a sweat. "Tanya wait. Let's talk about this. Maybe-"
Tanya smiles warmly. "Ah. I see how it is."
The feline hero blinks. "You do?"
"It's obvious. You don't think I can handle it. You are worried for me. Especially after the Heroes Day incident. But there's nothing to worry about. If anything, I am better suited than you to fight Hawkmoth."
Cat Noir humms. "And what makes you think that?"
Tanya points behind Cat Noir. "I put hidden cameras in here and you didn't even notice them."
Cat Noir's eyes shoot up, he fully turns to look at an empty wall, no hidden cameras anywhere.
Tanya quickly grabs a nearby pipe and bonks him in the back of the head.
"OWW!"
The hit which was definitely too strong for a girl Tanya's size makes Cat Noir dizzy and his vision blurred for a few seconds.
With machine-like precision, Tanya takes advantage of it and goes for Cat Noir's hand, taking off his ring.
"I wouldn't have fallen for that." She says with a cold voice while analyzing the miraculous.
"Uuuuugghhh..."
"Hmm?" Tanya takes her eyes off of the ring to look at a pased out Adrien lying face down in a puddle of dirty water.
"...Mr. Agreste is gonna kill me." She says in a nonchalant tone.
A while later, Adrien opens his eyes with little struggle. In front of him, there is a girl in an old fashion german military uniform colored black with green accents. The belt of the uniform extends on her back to immitate a cat's tail. On top the girl's head there is a peaked cap with a cat paw logo on it an cat ears to boot.
"Oh. You're finally awake." The girl says. Her face is covered by a domino mask. Her sclera is green, but her irises are a warm yellow, with cat like slit pupils.
"Tanya?..."
"Hmm? You figured me out that quickly? Maybe I am an even worse hero than you, and you should be the one to teach me things."
She grabs a tin can and tosses it a fair distance away.
"Did you know you can shoot your Cataclysm?" She eyes him with interest.
Adrien pulls himself up. "What? No I cant."
"Okay. That's gonna be our second lesson then. First will be how to use your power multiple times without transforming back."
Adrien's jaw slacks open. "You had Plagg for-... how long exactly?"
"You were passed out for 3 hours."
"Three hours and you can already do that!?"
"Before I even entered Trusugi-san's service, I had experience with... magical things. I've handled worse equipment. Your miraculous is a lot less annoying to control than what I used before."
She points her finger at the can. Her face now dons a sadistic smirk.
"If I miss, the subway is gonna collapse on us. Wish me luck."
"WAIT WHAT!?"
"Cataclysm."
From Tanya's fingertip, a small black orb forms and is shot at the can. Thankfully for Adrien, Tanya von Degurechaff has experience with ranged weaponry. The can is hit and disintegrates.