Chapter Text
Finally, the end of this hellish shift has arrived with the throwing of the bell into the trash. If Santos heard someone ring it one more time, she honestly could commit a few felonies. After changing into the clothes she brought with her to go on that date with Garcia, Santos found herself taking the elevator up to the top floor of the parking deck. While everyone else would already be waiting around on the roof of the Pitt, Santos wanted to dump everything she wouldn’t need for the night into her car before making her way over to join the rest of the crew.
While on her way back to the elevators to take them down, the metallic doors slowly slid opened and out walked Dr. Al-Hashimi. The sight of her made Santos stop in her tracks. She changed out of her preppy Lululemon jacket and scrubs into a burgundy tank top with black leggings. Her perfect hair was now out of its clip and left wild like she has ran her hands through it a bunch of times, a pair of wired headphones in her ears as she looked like she just got off a phone call with someone. It was only then that Dr. Al-Hashimi noticed Santos’ presence and looked up from her phone. Santos tried to swallow, but it got stuck somewhere in the back of her throat.
The Dr. Al-Hashimi standing in front of her now looked very different from the prim and proper attending she met this morning. She looked human in a way that the weight of the world just fell on her shoulders and she was struggling to hold herself up. Her eyes were red rimmed and cheeks were flushed and for a second, Santos didn’t know what to do with that.
“Dr. Santos” She said and wrapped her headphones around her phone while trying to pick up whatever pieces of herself she let fall in the elevator up here.
“Are you okay Dr. Al-Hashimi?” Santos asked surprising herself for a second that those were the first words coming out of her mouth right now. Trinity could see the pause in her thought process, like she was trying to find the right words to say.
“It was just a very long first shift.” Dr. Al-Hashimi answered and let out a deep breath.
“Okay, I’m not sure if you know but a bunch of the staff are going up to the roof to watch the fireworks if you want to join?” Santos offered.
“Thank you for the offer Dr. Santos, but I am going to head home for the night before I have to be back here bright and early in the morning.” Came the reply with a shy smile that didn’t quite reach the new attendings eyes.
“Alright, I guess I’ll see you Sunday then.” Santos says and rocks on her heals for a second before making a move to pass her.
“Actually, Dr. Santos, if I can speak to you for another second.” Dr. Al-Hashimi asks, stopping Santos from leaving. She made eye contact with Dr. Al-Hashimi and gave her a nod to continue.
“I want to apologize to you, I came off a bit strong this morning and it wasn’t fair of me to single you out on your charting. R2 year is difficult and today was probably one of the worst you’ll have when it comes to charting but I do believe that you are a very good and capable doctor.”
Trinity just stood there, the words washed over her for a second and she found herself a little dumbfounded that that was what Dr. Al-Hashimi wanted to discuss with her. But before Trinity could come up with a reply that wasn’t just completely deflections, Dr. Al-Hashimi beat her too it.
“I also want you to know that until about two hours ago, I was unaware of what happened between you and Dr. Langdon. Dr. Robinavitch did not tell me about the drugs or the reason for Dr. Langdon’s absence. It also wouldn’t be fair of me not to mention I overheard the argument that took place in the hallway between you and Dr. Langdon this evening.”
Trinity felt her blood go cold for a second. Nobody knew, Robby made it clear that he was going to handle this and once Langdon was gone, there was nothing else to talk about. The only time it came up again was to Garcia in passing and Whitaker who only got parts of the story from a very drunk Santos a few days later.
“My door is always open to you if something happens and you need to talk to someone about it. When able, I won’t pair you with Dr. Langdon either, I can’t promise it won’t be permanent, but this ED is here to support you too.”
The little bit of air Trinity was able to pull into her lungs pushed itself right back out. Is this actually real? Could this new preppy new attending who rolled in here this morning with a bagel spread for the staff truly help settle the constant feeling of being unwanted in the ED? Time will only tell but Trinity wasn’t exactly going to hold her breath, especially with Langdon back.
“You say that now, but a lot happened my first day and in the ten months since and I don’t know if even you would be able to undo it.” Trinity answered and looked down at her beat up old vans.
“I understand, but please know that even if I can’t, I will always try.” Dr. Al-Hashimi said.
When Trinity finally looked up and met her eyes, she could see they have soften since they started their conversation. The weight of the world not as big in this momentary reprieve.
“Have a good rest of your night Dr. Al-Hashimi.” Trinity answered.
“When we aren’t on shift, Baran is fine.” Baran replied. The name rolled around in her brain for a moment before she nodded.
“Trinity” Santos answered, wanting to even this playing field.
“Have a good evening Trinity.”
“Goodnight Baran.”
Trinity finally moved then, walked over to the elevator and hit the call button. The doors opened right away, the elevator car still on this floor as it looks like everyone is already on the roof of the Pitt for the fireworks. As Trinity got in and pressed the button for the ground floor she looked back out onto the parking deck and saw Baran walk over to a silver Volvo parked a few spots away from her old Toyota 4Runner. The elevator doors finally slid closed, and Trinity leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath. The conversation replayed in her head down to the ground floor, through the Pitt and up to the roof. Once a beer was put into her hand and the first explosions started to light up the night sky, it was only then that Santos finally let the brown eyed attending and her burgundy tank top slip into the back of her mind.
Mel was already on the roof as Santos got there so the pair took a seat on the still warm black top of the hospital to watch the show. The fireworks were a nice distraction from everything and as the first beer went down, Santos can feel herself start to shake off the rest of the shift.
When the show started to slow down, Santos pulled Mel up off the ground and the pair went back over to the parking deck to her 4Runner. Santos flipped Mel her keys and walked over to the passenger seat. Mel asked about directions to the bar but Sanots just gave her directions back to her apartment building. The bar is only a ten-minute walk from there and it was easier to just park in the lot than to find street parking.
If someone told Trinity Santos that she was going to end her Fourth of July night at the bar with Mel King, singing, well, more like screaming, You Oughta Know, she would have had you admitted for a psych consult. But here she was, the bass thumping from the speakers loud enough to vibrate through your body, shoes sticking to the floor, the smell of grease food in the air. This wasn’t the plan for the night though. The night was meant to be spent with Yolanda Garcia, watching the fireworks from Santos’ building roof while getting buzzed enough to forget about the horrors of their shift then making their way inside to continue the night her in bed.
This was supposed to be the night when they finally figured everything out. What was supposed to be a date to work out the kinks in this 10 month long situationship to turn it into something with meaning, because to continue to go on like this, the push and pull, to the late night texts to blow off steam and end up eating ramen in bed afterwards and believing that they were finally getting somewhere with more depth, to then other nights of being kicked out of bed once finished, it was slowly starting to kill Santos. It seems like when it rained, it poured, then this shift happened, raincheck happened, ‘We’re just keeping it casual’ happened. And it all felt like a slap in the face of anything Santos was trying to build when it came to Garcia.
The thought of going home to an empty apartment with the sterile scalpel in her pocket was just not something she could not handle tonight. She did not want to think of the outcome if left alone in the dark. So that’s why the offer of karaoke was made. It even shocked her a little that Mel didn’t need much information about it to want to come along.
The bar was crowded when they pushed through the heavy front door, most of the booths were taken, but Santos managed to elbow her way through the crowd to get one of the few high top tables left. Once Mel was settled she asked for her drink order, a little disappointed her in choice of just a ginger ale, but then pushed her way through the crowd to the bar. When the bartender finally got over to her, Trinity ordered a double vodka red bull along with an extra shot and Mel’s ginger ale. Her card was given to the bartender to keep the tab open and once the bartender walked away to help the next person in the crowd, Trinity poured the extra shot into the ginger ale and mixed it in before bringing it back over to the table and handing it over.
Mel gave her a funny look after the first sip but didn’t question it as Trinity took a large gulp of her own drink. That was when Trinity grabbed the song book and pulled her bar stool closer to Mel so they could both look it over. They slowly made there way through the long book as another guy up on the stage started to badly belt out a Bon Jovi song. There was no rush for them to get up on stage, so while discussing the merits of picking between an Avril Lavigne song verse Pink and Mel telling her about her sister’s new boyfriend, Trinity ordered another drink and really started to feel the buzz of the alcohol start to take over.
It was then that she stumbled on You Oughta Know and she cut Mel off. It was the perfect song for her mood tonight, one that she could get the most out of once she got on stage. Once she was sure Mel at least knew the song, Trinity pushed her way through the bit of crowd that started to fill the bar to get to the DJ booth with the request. When she returned to the table she took a big sip of her fresh drink and gave Mel a smile to say the song request was put in.
While they waited to hear there name be called, the conversation shifted to work. How Mel was happy to work with Dr. Al-Hashimi again after coming from working with her at the VA. Even though the drinks were starting to catch up to her, Trinity tried to be subtle and ask some questions about the new attending seeing as Mel has worked with her before. The conversation from the parking deck coming back around in Santos’ mind. Mel offered up some information that was news to Trinity, that Dr. Al-Hashimi has son, Ehsan, who is 8 now, she was divorced from her ex-husband, but they seemed to have a good relationship from the handoff’s they used to do at the VA. That Dr. Al-Hashimi was kind, she cared and treated all of the staff equally and if anybody had any problems she maintained an open door policy that anything could be brought up to her.
To Trinity, she still wasn’t going to openly trust the new attending until she proved herself. Robby was leaving tonight and who knew when, or even if, he would be back from his motorcycle spirit quest and if Al-Hashimi bugged her so much about her charting, she could always pick up a few nightshifts. That thought sounded even more appealing when her thoughts strayed back to what was supposed to happen tonight between her and Garcia. But there was still something else starting to settle under her skin after hearing Mel speak about the new attending. The words from earlier in the night began to drift in again, the kindness in her words, the way she looked like she actually cared after briefly speaking about the Langdon mess. Maybe this would be a good thing.
But before it could spiral into anything else, they were interrupted when the DJ called their names. Trinity downed the rest of her drink before pulling Mel up on stage with her.
“What do I do?” Mel asked a little panicked as Trinity handed her the microphone as the song was queued up.
“If you don’t know the lyrics, just read them off the screen. Time to let loose.” Trinity explained and the DJ gave her a nod to let her know that they were starting the song.
The stage lights were just bright enough to make sure they could see the stage and the microphone cords so they wouldn’t trip over anything. With one more deep breath, the opening notes of the song started. The words started to come up on the screen and Trinity started to sing. This was different then singing to baby Jane Doe earlier. This felt primal, the releasing of demons that were still being held inside her body against her will.
As the chorus started to come around, Santos looked over at Mel and saw her really start to get into the song. When Santos flipped her hair over and saw Mel try to do the same without the same flare for dramatics, Santos knew she needed to fix it. She pulled Mel closer and pulled her hair tie out of the end of her braid and quickly ran a hand through it to separate the hair out and finally Mel flipped her hair.
The bar crowd got into the song and started to sing along as Mel and Trinity started to jump around on stage to the rest of the chorus. By the time the song was over, the whole bar was up on their feet clapping for them.
On their way back to their table, Trinity stopped at the bar and got another round of drinks along with some water before meeting Mel at the table.
“Can we do that again?” Mel asked as she down the water Santos brought over for her. Trinity couldn’t help but smile and pull out the song book.