Chapter Text
The ride to Jung-gu is unusually quiet. Perhaps because everyone’s physically and emotionally exhausted to the limit. Sehun leans his head against the car window and lets out a long sigh. The faint street lights peeking through the curtains of their van are casting the softest shadows on Junmyeon’s rosy cheeks, and Sehun’s heart almost breaks.
He doesn’t usually let himself think too much, but the overwhelming weight of everything tonight signifies is suddenly tugging on his heartstrings. Everything that has been, everything that could’ve been flashes before his eyes for one fleeting moment, and he feels a faint stabbing pain in his chest.
Junmyeon is so close, so close he could extend his arms and touch him, so close. But he can’t. He can. But he probably shouldn’t.
He looks away, sighing in defeat.
“Hyung, wake up, we’re here,” he hears Chanyeol’s voice. The older man’s eyes flutter open slowly. They wander around, briefly stopping by Sehun, and then landing on Chanyeol, who’s looking at him with the stars of the whole universe twinkling in his eyes.
“Hmm, how’s your arm now?” Junmyeon asks while getting off of the car.
Sehun had already gotten off and walked into the restaurant with Jongin and Kyungsoo who were riding in the other car.
“Ready to arm wrestle with you right now, wanna go?” Chanyeol speaks the only language Junmyeon is comfortable with.
“So cocky? You think I can’t beat you even with your torn ligament? I lifted you 4 times just last week, Chanyeollie. The whole 189cm and 72kg of you,” Junmyeon reminds Chanyeol, his tone more steel cold than playful.
It’s always like this. Always.
Somehow Chanyeol’s playful teasing always manages to graze a corner of Junmyeon’s ego… even he doesn’t know why. He just knows when Chanyeol pushes, he has to push back. That’s the rule between them.
“Oh, we’re bragging about those measly 4 squats now? Wanna bet how many I can do with you?” Chanyeol shoots back.
“Still doesn’t mean you can beat me in an arm wrestle,” Junmyeon doesn’t even look at Chanyeol but the taller man can feel the ice of his hyung’s voice like it’s lodged in his own throat.
A simple question about if Chanyeol’s arm felt better now shouldn’t have to be this complicated. But somehow it was.
“Okay okay, hyung. I’m sure you’ll win against me any day any time,” Chanyeol offers a smile to placate the bruise he had no idea how he caused. But he doesn’t mind. He never does.
Inside, Sehun and Kyungsoo are seated on one side of the table. The seat beside Kyungsoo is always Sehun’s favorite place when they go out to eat, because Kyungsoo feeds him well. Junmyeon sits tucked in between Chanyeol and Jongin, across from Sehun. Before they can even start talking, the meat and the drinks start pouring in.
In a blink, the reserved floor of the restaurant for their after-party turns into a chaotic mess. Somehow everyone’s exhaustion melts away as they start eating, drinking, hooting, hollering, celebrating together with their staff members.
The atmosphere today feels so different compared to their usual team dinners. Today feels like they crossed a long broken bridge of uncertainty, betrayal, trial, and turbulation, to finally have come out on the other side together, hand in hand. The laughter spreads among them in unison and almost catches on fire.
Junmyeon was never too much of a drinker. He likes his alcohol calm and sophisticated, not wild and messy. But tonight is gradually turning into a wild and messy night, slowly slipping away from his measured and calculated grip. And even his steel-will can’t make him swim against the current today. He feels overwhelmed. A whirlwind of emotions making waves inside him with every somaek shot entering his bloodstream uninhibited.
He looks at the bright and beautiful faces of each of his members surrounding him…with an unreadable gaze.
Kyungsoo, who came to do right by him and the members, who chose them, even without any obligation.
Sehun, who turned his entire lifestyle upside down to prepare himself for the album the moment he came back from the military.
Chanyeol, who stood by him, strong, loyal, and unwavering, protecting him for the last 2 years when absolutely nobody was there for him.
And Jongin… oh Kim Jongin… Jongin, who gave up his Europe tour, his time, his energy, his efforts, his whole body, for him, for the members, for EXO. Suddenly, looking at the soft curves of Jongin’s face pulls directly at his heartstrings. Jongin, who gave up his days and his nights, his sleep and his comfort, his blood and his tears… just for today. His brother Jongin. His brother Jongin, who always treasured and protected him with every fiber of his being.
Even before Junmyeon could realize, the haze of alcohol and the chaos all around him takes the best of him. His hands slowly gets a hold of Jongin’s, who was busy kekeing with Sehun about some stupid joke that Junmyeon wouldn’t find that funny even if he was listening and not drowning in his own thoughts. Jongin kept laughing without looking away, just instinctually holding his hand back… tight!
“Jonginnah, Jonginnah…,” Junmyeon whispers, gently tugging at the big hand wrapped in his tiny ones, trying to get his brother’s attention. Jongin feels the tug and hesitantly looks down at Junmyeon by his side. The older man looks up to meet his eyes with a wistful gaze. Emotions that were held in for too long felt too suffocating for Junmyeon to keep inside as tears began rolling down the prettiest cheeks Jongin has ever seen.
“Hyung…? Suho hyung…?" Suddenly the table quiets down as everyone sees Junmyeon hiding himself in Jongin’s chest and sobbing uncontrollably. Everyone is exchanging looks among themselves, trying to understand what’s happening. “Hyung…?”
“Jonginnah, my boy, my precious boy, hyung is sorry…,” Jongin keeps running his fingers through his lush silver locks, holding his hyung close to his chest. “Shhh.. hyung… shhh… what happened? Calm down, it’s okay. It’s okay,” Jongin softly whispers in Junmyeon’s ears, confused eyes looking around at the other boys.
Junmyeon pulls back a little, and looks up at Jongin again. He’s gone beyond the point of being able to hold back his tears, despite knowing everyone is watching. Junmyeon doesn’t care tonight. Probably about anything.
“Jonginnah, hyung is sorry, I should’ve taken care of you, more, way more than I did. My baby boy had to carry so much on his shoulder this time. Nini, don’t think I didn’t see everything. I did. Everything you did for me. For us. For this day.” Everyone else now finally catching on to what’s going on with Junmyeon.
“Shhh hyung… what are you talking about? Do you think I’m still the 13 year old boy you met all those years ago? I’m grown up now, hyung. Shhh… it’s my turn to take care of you. You did enough, hyung.. Hyung, look at me,” Jongin gently cups Junmyeon’s face, wrapping his big hands around his puffy rosy cheeks, puffier and rosier than usual thanks to the tears and alcohol, and pleads with his words, “Hyung, I can steal all the stars from the sky just to light your eyes, hyung, stop saying sorry, it’s my turn now, my turn to protect you,” Jongin is also drunk, it seems.
Kyungsoo suddenly bursts out laughing as the last words slip off Jongin’s lips. “What the hell are you two even doing? Jonginah, what was that about the stars?” he’s about to pass out from laughter, though neither Junmyeon nor Jongin is paying any attention to him.
“Still, hyung is sorry, Jonginah..,” Junmyeon says as he plummets back onto Jongin’s chest, the warmth enveloping him is so comforting. Jongin silently keeps brushing his fingers through the older man’s hair, trying to calm him down. Kyungsoo brings out his phone in one quick sweep, and starts taking photos of the ridiculous scene unfolding before him. He doesn’t notice that neither Chanyeol nor Sehun is laughing.
Chanyeol forcefully downs two more shots and shakes his head to clear his head. It’s impossible tonight though. His heart breaks seeing Junmyeon feeling this way. His silly hyung… always wants to do the most, for everyone… beyond what he physically can. He wishes he could be the one protecting his hyung, he could be the one whose arms Junmyeon jumps in looking for comfort, he could be the one stealing those stars for him that Jongin was talking about.
He wants to. He tries to. But it’s Junmyeon himself who doesn’t let him. An invisible wall always separates them despite being centimeters apart.
But he’ll never stop trying. Never. Chanyeol stands up, and proposes a toast.
“To our Junmyeonnie hyung, who has been our shelter for the past 18 years, who has been our brother, our father, our friend, our protector, our rock, our hope, our princess, for the past 18 years…,” Junmyeon finally pulls himself off of Jongin completely and turns around to look at Chanyeol with big round startled eyes. Heat rising up in his cheeks hearing the bold unadorned words of affection and appreciation coming his way…
“Our Junmyeonnie hyung, who’s the reason we exist as EXO, who’s the reason we had a career to get back to today, who’s the reason we are still standing hand in hand… hyung, you don’t know how much we appreciate you, and how much…,” suddenly Chanyeol falls down on his knees before Junmyeon, disintegrating into the most respectful bow he could manage to offer, “...how much I’m sorry for every time I caused you worry, caused you heartache, caused you… to feel less than. Hyung, I can’t exist without you. I need you to know that. I need you to know I love you simply for being born, for existing, for being exactly who you are.”
It takes Junmyeon a few moments to pull himself together from the shock of Chanyeol’s actions. He quickly stands up and pulls the taller boy by his arms, “What are you doing? Get up, get up, Chanyeollie, it’s okay, just get up, you silly…” It takes a drunk Junmyeon more effort than he anticipated to pull up the giant boy.
Sehun silently watches everything unfold, and somehow a feeling of relief washes over him. He might no longer be the one, but just knowing there are people guarding the guardian sincerely with their heart and soul is enough for him… for now. He feels warm and fuzzy, and pulls up his phone to take a photo of his hyungs being unusually soft to each other.
But his jaw drops the moment he hits record…
As Junmyeon pulls Chanyeol up, he stands up to wrap his teeny tiny hyung in the warmest hug in the world. Everyone watches them slowly melt into each other. So much affection, so much tenderness, so much reverence is enveloping both of them that it feels like time has come to a standstill suddenly.
After what could be minutes or hours, Chanyeol slowly pulls back from the hug, standing tall in front of Junmyeon, towering over the tiny man. He looks down at the face he cherished more than anything on earth for the last 18 years.
The soft, chubby, round cheeks that stains a deep shade of red whenever he feels praised.
The big doe eyes that disappear into half-moons whenever he smiles.
The soft strands of hair that haphazardly fall over the temple whenever he talks passionately.
The plump, rosy lips that pull at the strings of everyone’s heart whenever he speaks in his silly pout.
Chanyeol feels possessed. Helplessly engulfed by the ethereal, serene, luminous aura exuding from every fiber of Junmyeon’s being right now.
He slowly leans forward and catches Junmyeon’s lips into his own, crashing into his tiny hyung with the overwhelming desire he held in for decades. Chanyeol doesn’t think he’s ever tasted anything sweeter in his life.
Junmyeon’s soft, velvety, pliant lips surrender completely, parting gently to allow him access. Chanyeol holds the older man by the side of his face and deepens the kiss, turning it sloppy and wet.
The members, the staff, the managers…everyone around them is stunned into utter silence. What’s even happening right now? What parallel universe is this? Kyungsoo whispers, Jongin chokes on his own spit, and Sehun is frozen in place, in complete and utter shock, not noticing his camera is still running.
Everyone’s too scared to make a sound as if this alcohol dazed dream will turn into reality if they even breathe a bit wrong.
Junmyeon can feel Chanyeol’s lips trying to devour him alive, his tongue licking inside him. It almost feels like a prayer is being offered to him, too vulnerable, too devotional, too sacred. Tears start rolling down his cheeks again, as he rises on his tiptoes, wraps his arms around the tall boy’s neck, and kisses him back reverently.
Junmyeon doesn’t want to think tonight, for once, he wants to be held, be loved, be prayed upon. And the devastatingly vulnerable kiss being offered to him feels exactly like that. Tonight, he doesn’t care. Even though he should. Even though the whole world is watching. Even though neither of them knows what this means.
Chanyeol slowly snakes his hand around Junmyeon’s waist and pulls his pliant body closer. With a particularly passionate bite on Junmyeon’s bottom lip, Chanyeol starts moving along his jaw. Lips now tracing the veins bulging along the vocalist’s neck… open, wet, and messy. A soft moan escapes from Junmyeon’s parted lips who throws his head back in submission and arousal; the world has narrowed down to only the sensations he can feel along his neck, around his waist, and the growing heat between his thighs.
Junmyeon melts more and more… until there’s nothing left of himself but a wave crashing into Chanyeol’s shore for shelter in the raging seastorm.
“Okay, okay, enough, guys, we’re in public,” finally Kyungsoo speaks loudly and rudely, trying to gain some control over the situation unraveling beyond anyone’s comprehension. That brings Yongmin out of his stupor as he runs to Junmyeon to pull him apart from Chanyeol, and drags him into the bathroom quickly.
“Junmyeonnah, are you okay? Have you gone crazy?” Yongmin says as he splashes water on the drunk man’s face, trying to bring him back to earth, who’s still dazed and smiling faintly. “Are you okay?” Yongmin keeps checking for signs of discomfort on Junmyeon’s face.
“I don’t know, hyung,” Junmyeon finally says, speech slurry and wet because he can still taste Chanyeol on his lips.
Yongmin realizes that he’s not sober enough to have any conversation right now, and just takes him back to the table, and makes him sit in a corner.
“Sehun, cut him off and make sure to keep him hydrated. I’m serious. Nothing but water from now,” Yongmin then leaves their side to assess the situation carefully and make sure nobody got any photos ready to leak, of course unaware of and/or not caring about Sehun’s phone.
The rest of the night passes by smoothly, as everyone is more or less drunk, and quickly moved onto something else to yap about until their guts hurt from laughing nonstop.
Sehun, in a corner, is running his fingers through Junmyeon’s hair who’s still tipsy and giggling. “C’mon hyung, it’s time to go, get up… up up up!”
The younger boy has to engage every muscle in his upper body to make Junmyeon stand up on his feet. He wraps his arms around his hyung’s slender waist, holds it firmly, and starts moving towards the exit. He’s surprised how his that delicate waistline still feels exactly the same to his big brawny hands. It sends a shiver down his spine, even though he’s feeling delirious in rage right now.
“Sehunah, put him in the other car with Chanyeol, both of them are going to Cheongdam,” Yongmin approaches them. Sehun nods. Yongmin was expecting Sehun to come back and ride with him as he’s going towards the direction of the maknae’s apartment. But to his surprise, Sehun also gets into the other car with Junmyeon.
“I don’t know, whatever, I can’t deal with this now,” Yongmin mumbles to himself under his breath and moves on. It’s 3 am right now and all this nonsense is so above his paygrade anyway.
The young manager who drove them to the dorm is freaking out and fumbling with the front door keys. His first rodeo witnessing a wild group dinner, it looks like.
“Hyung, we’re freezing here,” Junmyeon says, already shivering at the first touch of the wind against his soft face the moment he gets out of the car. He certainly looks a bit less tipsy than before.
Finally the door opens, manager hyung leaves, and they enter the living room. Sehun doesn’t know why he came here, but he can’t get himself to leave Junmyeon alone tonight.
“Chanyeollie,” Sehun, who’s on his way to the spare bedroom ready to crash, hears Junmyeon call out from the doorway of his own bedroom. He closes his eyes and sighs. This is going to be a long night. He pretends to not hear what’s going on and closes the door to what used to be his old room.
Chanyeol was drinking water in the kitchen when Junmyeon called him.
He’s flustered. He’s so flustered that he doesn’t know how to meet Junmyeon’s eyes tonight after what happened.
He’s scared. He’s so scared that Junmyeon will never talk to him again for crossing such a line without his consent.
He’s proud. He’s so proud to have the whole world know how much he respects and cherishes his precious hyung.
Chanyeol is nothing but a bundle of live nerve endings right now.
“Yes, hyung?” He replies, as he slowly walks over towards Junmyeon.
“Can we talk for a minute?” Junmyeon says.
Chanyeol swallows in nervousness, and nods, as he slowly walks into the room and Junmyeon closes the door behind him.