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Her nerves were buzzing as she fled the scene. She shot down the hall, her gait uneven. Her face was still flushed and her mind was racing. She could barely breathe. Why did I do that? I’m not even drunk! she thought.
She had one goal in mind. She needed to get back to her room before-
“Stratt! Wait-“ Grace.
She could pretend she hadn’t heard him. She wanted to kick herself. Why was she acting this way? She was the highest director of the Petrova Task Force and the leader of Project Hail Mary. She had technically been given enough power to overrule entire governments, bringing nations and armies forward to carry out her every command. And she was running from a middle school teacher.
She slowed for a moment to consider. He will bring it up the next time I see him. It is more practical to get this over with now… she thought, cringing inwardly.
“Stratt, hang on, please…” Grace trailed off. She stopped in her tracks and turned to face the scientist. He slowed his pace as he got closer, as if she were a stray animal that might dart away again. She kept her gaze trained on his face, waiting for him to make the first move.
“I didn’t know you could sing like that,” he said, sounding a little breathless.
“I told you I sang,” she replied, tone clipped.
“I mean yeah, but I mean…” he trailed off for a moment, the beer he’d drank seemingly affecting him. “You’re amazing,” he finished softly.
A small smile crept onto her face. “Thank you, Doctor Grace,” she murmured. She couldn’t help but notice how her words came out gentler with him. He had a strange way of smoothing out her edges without her permission.
A moment passed and they simply looked at each other, waiting.
“I should-“
“Look, would you-
They both gestured for the other to speak. Grace caved first.
“Okay, I probably know the answer already, but would you-“ he paused, taking a deep breath. “Will you come back? With me?”
“What, to the party?”
Grace nodded.
“I thought it was weird,” Eva said, her brow slightly furrowed as she crossed her arms. “Why would you stay at all?”
He pushed his glasses up and crossed his arms, mirroring her. It didn’t seem intentional. “I mean, my friends are there. I do wanna be there, I just…” he looked down at his shoes, then back up at Eva. “I don’t wanna be alone, you know?” His face was flushed now too, and he nervously ran a hand through his already-messy hair. The sight pulled at Eva’s heart. He looked so earnest.
I really shouldn’t, she thought. But he was looking at her with the most absurd puppy dog eyes she’d ever seen, and she didn’t think it was even on purpose. She imagined how he would look dragging his feet back to the party, tail between his legs. He might get a sympathetic glance or two, but he would likely go back to sitting alone at the bar, drinking and wishing he were somewhere else. He had been desperate enough to seek her out twice, after all.
She sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ll have one drink,” she said. Relief washed over Grace’s features, his eyes lighting up as a big stupid grin split across his face.
“Really?” The word slipped from his lips and he stuttered for a moment. “Sorry! I mean, cool. Very cool.” God, he is ridiculous, Eva thought, trying to regret her choice.
They walked side by side back to the party. Grace spent the journey describing the excitement that had erupted in the wake of her song. She had barely registered the applause of the team as her legs carried her out of the room. As they arrived at the door, Grace paused and turned toward her.
“This might be kind of a tough room, but you’re gonna do great,” he said, trying not to grin. Eva gave him a withering look and pushed into the room, Grace trailing after her. Immediately, she was greeted with smiling faces, cheering, and uncoordinated applause. She froze, unsure of how to respond. Her gaze swept over the room and she gave an awkward smile. Grace subtly tapped her arm, nodding to an open table in the corner. She followed and they took a seat together. She could feel the eyes of the crew following their every move. She was beginning to regret her decision.
As soon as Eva settled into a seat, Grace stood up to grab drinks from the bar. Eva looked around. Yao was performing what looked like slight-of-hand magic in the middle of a large group. Ilyukhina was telling a story and making everyone around her laugh. Everyone was drinking and having a good time, yet something felt off. Eva shifted in place, watching as Grace returned with their drinks. He sat next to her, giving them both a view of the room.
“Gin and tonic alright?” he asked, sliding a glass in her direction. She hummed, taking a tentative sip. She was surprised that Grace remembered her favored alcohol. He took a sip of his beer and sighed. “So, can I convince you to give us an encore or am I already pushing it just bringing you back here?”
A small laugh escaped Eva and her eyebrows raised in amused disbelief. Her eyes found his. “That was a one time show. I don’t know what possessed me to sing even once, let alone twice,” she said, her gaze falling back to her drink. She took another small sip. “Maybe you should sing something for me now,” she said, her tone lilting strangely.
Grace’s laugh was low and warm. “Yeah, I don’t know about that. I’m not trying to evacuate the room, so…” he joked, smiling at her again. It was blinding. Despite the small smile forming on her lips in response, she glanced over the party again.
Strange, Eva thought. She accidentally caught at least four people staring at them. Several others seemed to look away just in time to avoid her scrutiny. Her smile fell away and her brow furrowed.
“Why are they all looking at us?” The words tumbled from her lips and she shifted uncomfortably. Grace sighed, taking his glasses off and setting them on the table.
“I don’t know. It probably has to do with the betting ring,” he said, tone sounding mildly annoyed.
Eva’s gaze sharpened. “Betting ring?” Surely not.
Grace’s eyes widened slightly. “Hang on, you mean you don’t know?”
Eva looked at him as if he were speaking another language (besides the twelve that she already spoke). She said nothing, opting to await Grace’s explanation. She doubted she would like what she was about to hear.
Grace ran his hands over his face and looked out across the room as he spoke.
“Okay, so basically someone- I don’t know who- started a rumor that we were sleeping together. Then, Ilyukhina heard about it and started a massive bet on whether we were or not, but almost everyone bet that we were, so she started making it more complicated,” he explained.
Eva raised her eyebrows. “And?”
Grace’s expression looked pained as he continued. “They’ve been putting money on how long we’ve been together, how we got together, what we’re like in bed, all sorts of stuff. It’s really weird…” he finished lamely.
Eva felt frozen in place. Her mind was trying to process, but it was just so ridiculous. After a moment, she took a sip of her drink. Grace’s eyes were still trained on her face, trying to gauge a reaction. She glanced at the other partygoers in the room. Most were laughing, talking, drinking. Someone was singing, but she didn’t recognize the song. These were professionals, the most intelligent science crew in the world. She had made sure of it.
And they all thought she was fucking her subordinate. She desperately wished her face would quit blushing at the thought. She had the most important job in the world. Every moment of her life for the past three years had revolved around saving the planet. One would be foolish to think she would compromise the slightest inch of productivity for some… sexual encounter with a crew member. So why…?
“Stratt?” Grace’s voice was gentle, coaxing her back out of her mind. She turned to him, searching his face for answers. She found only sympathy in his deep blue eyes. “I was pretty shocked when I found out too.” He looked out at the other crew members and chuckled. “You know the worst part? Lokken is the only one who bet we weren’t together.”
Instinctively, Eva’s face scrunched with distaste. “Dr. Lokken? Really?” she said incredulously.
Grace gave a resigned smile and nodded his head. “Right? Can you imagine her smug face when they all have to hand over their money? She’s gonna be so annoying about it,” he murmured, trying to keep his voice down. He took another sip of his beer.
Eva could imagine the scene exactly. Dr. Lokken would preen and never let the other crew members live it down. The image was… irritating, to say the least. “That is the last thing I need right now…” Stratt muttered, sipping her drink.
Grace hummed in agreement. They sat in silence for a moment before he quietly chuckled.
“What?”
“Sorry, I just had a stupid idea.”
“No ideas are stupid, Grace.”
“This one is.”
“Tell me.”
Grace took a deep breath. “It’s really bad, I don’t think you understand-“
“Tell me what you are thinking, Dr. Grace.”
“Nope, I’m not gonna say.”
Eva’s tone developed a sarcastic edge of warning. “That’s an order.”
Grace paused, his eyes betraying his indecision. Eva smirked slightly and he acquiesced. “I thought it would be funny if we pretended to get together so Lokken loses, alright? That’s it.”
Eva stared at him, eyebrows quirked. “Maybe there are some stupid ideas,” she said, teasing.
Grace laughed. “See? I told you!” he declared with a lingering smile. Eva’s eyes traced his features and she considered his suggestion. It was a stupid idea.
But the attention may never end if there’s no conclusive answer, she thought. Her eyes found each member of their crew. She could imagine Ilyukhina’s wide, excited grin if she won the bet. Yao would give a dignified but deeply amused laugh. Lokken would be a good sport and shake her head in joking disbelief. People would chuckle and feign upset as they exchanged money. It would be a fond memory for the astronauts and ground crew alike, something for them to look back on in the cold days to come. It would bring them together, in some strange way, and wasn’t that the goal of this whole evening? Eva thought back to Grace’s words on the deck. It is such a weird party. Surely it could stand to become just a bit weirder.
She tossed back the last of her drink and looked up at Grace. “If we do this, we must commit to it. If we half-ass it, we’ll look like idiots,” she stated.
Grace’s eyes darted to hers and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Wait, you actually want to? I was joking- not that I don’t want to! I just, uh, didn’t actually consider that you might want to. Are you sure?” he rambled on. Eva gave him an amused look and nodded as he processed the idea. He laughed. “I can’t believe we’re actually gonna do this! Okay. We need a plan. How should we pull it off?”
Eva thought for a moment. “If we want them to think we are planning to sleep together, we must leave together. The challenge is the build-up to that moment,” she said, as if she were discussing regular project business and not how to fake hook-up with her right hand man.
He nodded along. “I feel like they won’t be convinced unless we do something kind of dramatic, you know? There’s a lot of money hinging on this.”
“What do you have in mind?”
Grace’s face flushed. He opened his mouth but no words came out. “I don’t know,” he said, stuttering slightly. Eva wanted to roll her eyes.
“You’re a terrible liar,” she stated matter-of-factly. “What is it?” She could predict the answer quite easily, but she wanted to hear him say it.
He was fully blushing now. The red in his face nearly blended in with the warm lights of the bar room, but Eva was watching close enough to see it sneak up to his ears and down his neck. He stumbled over his words, but persisted. “How would you feel if- uh- I mean- we could kiss? I don’t know, maybe that’s really stupid-“
“That will be most sufficient, yes,” she cut him off. “We’ll make ourselves appear engrossed in conversation, sit closer than is typical, look at each other longer than necessary, kiss, and then exit together. Yes?” A strange feeling sat in Eva’s chest. This charade felt somewhat childish, and yet she found herself taking it deadly serious. Grace nodded along, his brow furrowed the way it did when she gave him top priority orders. At least they were in this ridiculous situation together.
“Yeah. Yeah. Sounds good. Right, sure. Yeah.” Eva could see the wheels turning in his head as he imagined the process. She couldn’t keep a small smile from creeping onto her face at the sight.
The next several minutes passed fairly inconspicuously. Grace began telling a story of a college party from when he was younger. It had been at a karaoke bar and he had to drag his drunken roommate away from the microphone before he could sing Hotel California a third time. Eva laughed as he gestured animatedly. She made an effort to sit closer than was necessary, but found that her interest in the conversation did not need to be acted. There was something almost hypnotizing about his hands as they illustrated his tales.
Eva let Grace lead the conversation, choosing instead to survey the room and gauge their team’s attention to their performance. At one point, she spotted one crew member’s eyes lingering on them before she whispered to another beside her. Eva decided at that moment to reach for Grace’s hand. His words faltered and he trailed off as he twined their fingers together on the table with a smile. She didn’t know why, but she could feel her face heating up at the sight of his twinkling eyes.
“They’re watching us,” she murmured, leaning in. Grace nodded slowly and attempted a subtle glance out at the rest of the partygoers. God, could he be more obvious? Eva thought, scrambling to think of a solution. In a split second decision, she reached up, running her finger along his jaw and turning his face toward her. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and she smiled at him softly for a long moment until his expression softened to match. Not knowing what to do now, she let out a nervous laugh, unsure of whether it was real or part of the act.
Grace’s eyes dropped to their entwined hands. He ran his thumb over hers in a soothing motion. He looked up and met Eva’s gaze, leaning in to whisper close to her ear. “You think we’ve got them invested enough for the kiss?
Eva laughed as if he’d said something funny before cupping her hand around his ear. “Yes, I believe so. Make it count,” she whispered, placing a subtle kiss on his cheek. She pulled away, but kept her eyes trained on him. Please, God, let them be looking, she prayed silently.
Grace hesitated as he brought his hand up to caress Eva’s face. She couldn’t tell if the nervousness written on his features was part of the performance or not. In the split second before he leaned in, Eva took note of his appearance. His hand is so warm, his glasses are falling down his nose, his face is red, he’s looking at my li-
His lips met hers in a gentle press and her mind went quiet. She was all sensation, absorbing the feeling of him against her. Her eyes closed and a small, nearly imperceptible sigh escaped her. The moment passed and Grace pulled away.
When Eva opened her eyes, she was met with near silence and Ryland’s panicked expression. Oh god. She hadn’t kissed him back. “Stratt, I am so so-“
She buried her hand in his hair and pulled him back in, kissing him properly this time. She caught his bottom lip between hers and brought her other hand up to touch his face. She wanted more of this, more of him. She was operating on instinct, chasing the intoxicating sensation of human touch. His hands fell to her hips, pulling her closer as he kissed her back.
A moment passed and she broke the kiss, pulling away to catch her breath. Immediately, she was struck with the desire to stay in his space. She wanted to bury her face in his neck and feel him hold her close and-
“Hey, what do you say we get out of here?” Ryland’s voice was rough, but clear. Eva nodded and took his hand again. She barely noticed the excited whispers and lingering stares of their crew as he led her away from the party. As they walked, hand in hand, down the same hall she had fled down earlier, her thoughts raced. Where is he taking me- will we kiss again? God I want to kiss again- I want to feel warm like that again- I need- Please God, don’t let it be over yet-
They were at his cabin door. His hand unraveled from hers and she realized she’d been squeezing it. She wanted to reach for him again. She wanted-
She needed to compose herself. She was the most powerful person in the world. She couldn’t afford attachments like this. I’ve already allowed far more than I should have…
Ryland unlocked the door and held it for her as she crossed the threshold. He closed and locked the door, turning to face her. For a moment, everything was still. Eva made a decision. She couldn’t tell which of them moved first. In the span of a second, her lips finally met his once more. She pressed into him until his back bumped against the wall. He grabbed her waist, pulling her even closer and wrapping his arms around her. Her hands found his hair, running through it with fervor. She tugged on one of the longer golden strands and relished in the moan that it earned. His lips were perfectly warm and rough, capturing her bottom lip and nibbling. A satisfied noise escaped her throat. He pulled away.
“Can I please kiss your neck?” he asked, his voice ragged. Eva nodded fervently and Ryland immediately took to kissing his way up her jawline to her ear. He bit the lobe gently, dragging a pleased moan from her lips. Then, he tugged on the collar of her turtleneck, exposing the pale skin there. He began to cover her sensitive flesh in his open mouth kisses. She wanted to be devoured by him.
He pulled away for a moment, still holding her close. “Is it alright if we move to the bed?” His tone didn’t sound suggestive, but Eva looked up to search his face for intent. His face was flushed and he looked rightfully disheveled, but there was no hint of lust coloring his gaze. Instead, Eva was met with a reflection of her own strange desperation in his face. She gripped the front of his shirt.
“We may move to the bed for comfort and convenience, but I am not interested in sexual intercourse,” she stated clearly. Ryland actually sighed with relief and graced her with a bright grin.
“Oh thank god. Wait- not that I- hang on, I didn’t mean it like that-“ He was completely flustered and Eva watched in amusement as he floundered over his words. “Obviously you’re really attractive and amazing! I just, uh… I don’t know. It’s so nice being with you like this and I don’t really need more. Does that make sense?”
“Of course it makes sense, Ryland. I am the one who suggested it.” Her voice was lighthearted and teasing but Ryland somehow blushed even more red with embarrassment. With that, she guided him to the bed and their bodies found one another once more.
———
Eva couldn’t tell how many hours had passed after the party before they both started falling asleep. She knew that it would be gossip for weeks if she emerged from Ryland’s room in the morning, but hadn’t they wanted everyone to think they’d hooked up? Avoiding further speculation was not worth giving up the comfort and warmth she had found tucked up against Ryland’s chest.
A voice in the back of her mind shouted that this was the only time she could afford such weakness. She had given into her skin’s desire for contact for the first and last time. Morning would come and she would slip out of Ryland- Dr. Grace’s gentle grasp. She would make a cup of coffee and check her emails and everything would go back to normal. She dared not think about the empty, untouched bed that she would fall into when the day was done.