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Edwin couldn't concentrate. The words on the page of the book blurred in front of him as he stared at the pages unseeing. His body may have been present, but his mind wasn't in class. Not really. All he could think about was the curly-haired boy that he had found in the attic two nights prior.
He had thought that Charles was dead when he first walked into their meeting spot, and if he had been any later, Charles might have succumbed to his injuries before Edwin had a chance to save him. As it was, he had never been as frightened as he had that night, kneeling in front of the boy he loved, not sure if he was alive. He could still feel Charles's cold skin against his and how he had searched desperately for a pulse before noticing Charles take a shallow breath in. He still wasn't sure how he had managed to get Charles down the stairs and to the nurses' office. All he knew was that Charles had been taken from him in the dead of the night by an ambulance, and Edwin's heart had gone with him.
Now, it had been two days, and there was no news of Charles's condition or whether or not he had even survived the night. There was also no one that Edwin could ask. As far as anyone else at St. Hilarion's knew, they didn't know each other. They both ran in separate social circles and had different activies that they participated in for extracurricular activities. It was hard on both of them to keep their relationship a secret from the world, but the safer choice for now. Charles could go home for vacations without worry that his father would kill him for dating a boy, and Edwin wouldn't be cut off financially by his father for failing to conform to his father's wishes. Money that Edwin used to get the education he needed, while setting aside the majority of his monthly allowance in order to be able to afford a place of his own once he graduated. Money that would help Edwin be free of his father's grasp and would save Charles from the torment of his own home, as Edwin wasn't stupid about the fact that Charles was being abused by his father. He had seen the scars on Charles's back and the bruises that always decorated Charles's skin after summer break. Bruising that Charles would lie to Edwin about and claim was from sports. Only Edwin knew better, even if he pretended to believe Charles's lies while desperately wanting to protect him from the family that was hurting him. So he swore to himself that he would never be the one to cause Charles more pain. So, even though he wanted answers and to be out in the open with their relationship, he pretended that he didn't have any friends and that he didn't know Charles when he passed him in the halls. Anything to keep Charles a little safer.
"Mister Payne." The Latin teacher's stern voice broke through his thoughts, causing him to startle.
"Yes, sir," Edwin answered softly, his voice thick with unshed tears. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Yes, sir."
"Please continue," the Latin teacher instructed. Edwin looked down at the book again. The words swam in front of his eyes, too blurry for him to see them properly.
"I'm sorry, sir, I don't know where we are at," Edwin admitted softly, causing the teacher to sigh.
"Would someone please help, Mr. Payne?" the teacher asked. Edwin didn't look up as he felt his cheeks grow warm with embarrassment as another boy began to read. It wasn't like him to not pay attention in Latin as he was at the top of the class, but he couldn't focus. All he could think about was Charles. His stomach flipped as once again he could see Charles curled up beneath the blanket, his skin pale in contrast to the dark bruising around his eyes. Edwin felt his stomach flip, and he fought to keep what little food he had managed to consume down as he waited for the class to be over. Then he just had to make it through Maths before he could return to his room for the remainder of the day, where he would curl up on his bed, unable to sleep until he had to rise and start it all again. Start another day without Charles. Another day of not passing him in the hall, or being able to hold him at night in his arms as they huddled in the safety of the attic.
Standing, Edwin grabbed his bag as he rushed out of the class. He heard the teacher call his name, but he didn't care as he ran down the corridor, barely making it to the bathroom. He fell on his knees in front of the toilet as he lost the fight with his stomach and his tears. They ran down his face as he collapsed back against the wall. He sobbed softly, trying desperately to get his crying under control. He couldn't let the others see him broken. He had to be strong, he had to pretend he was alright, and that Charles's disappearance wasn't affecting him. Forcing himself to his feet, he bit back another sob as he opened the door to the stall. He made his way over to the sink and turned on the cold water. In the mirror, he could see a pale boy with untidy hair and red eyes staring back at him, but he ignored that boy while he splashed cold water on his face. He then ran water through his hair in an effort to tame his curly hair, but without pomade, it was hopeless. He sighed, drying his face.
The bell rang as Edwin left the bathroom, and for the first time since he started at St. Hilarions, he turned away from the classes, heading back to the dorm rooms. He would owe his Maths teacher an apology tomorrow when he picked up his missed assignment, but right now, he didn't care. He just wanted to be alone. Actually, what he really wanted was Charles, and if he couldn't have him in his waking hours, then hopefully Charles would be in his dreams. He was so caught up in his thoughts and determination to get back to his room that he ran directly into another student as he rounded the corner. He fell to the ground with a grunt as he heard an indignant, "Hey, watch where you're going!"
"My apologies," he mumbled as he stood, then reached out to help the other student up. It was only then that he got a good look at her and realized that it was Charles's friend Crystal. The two of them had dated before Edwin had confessed his feelings for Charles, but she and Charles had remained good friends. Charles spoke about her sometimes, and Edwin knew her in passing as they had shared several classes together over the years. He noticed that she looked as tired as he did as he pulled her up to her feet.
"You look like shit," Crystal informed Edwin as she slung her bag over her shoulder.
"I haven't been sleeping well," Edwin responded.
"Me either," Crystal answered. Edwin nodded, unsure how to continue. He wanted to ask her if she had heard anything, but he couldn't betray Charles's trust like that. So with his heart aching, he carefully maneuvered around her and started towards his room again. He made it there without running into anybody else. He took the time to lock his door and then throw his bag to the side before collapsing on his bed. Sleep didn't immediately come, but the tears did again. He buried his face in the pillow, sobbing until the darkness finally overtook him and he slipped into an uneasy sleep.
He wasn't sure how long he had slept for before he was awoken by a knock on his door. He ignored it at first as he tried to slip back into his dreams, where he had been with Charles in the attic. Charles was alive and well in his arms as he held him close while they planned their life together outside of the school. The knocking was persistent, though, and he was unable to ignore it, forcing him to get out of bed and answer. He took a moment to straighten his clothing before opening the door just enough to look out. He couldn't help his surprise at seeing Crystal standing there.
"Can we talk?" Crystal questioned him. Edwin opened his mouth to say no, but Crystal looked around before she continued with her voice at almost a whisper, "about Charles."
"I don't know who that is," Edwin lied as he started to close the door. Crystal put her foot in the door before he could.
"He is alive," Crystal told him. Edwin felt his body want to collapse in relief, but he held the door tightly, not daring to move. He still felt as though it could be a trick, and it wouldn't be the first time he had been lied to by someone at the school. Only she looked as miserable as he felt, and he just wanted answers.
"You have five minutes," Edwin told her as he made his body move and opened the door wider, allowing her to enter. He closed the door behind her before making his way on wobbly legs over to his bed, where he collapsed. Crystal didn't say anything as he moved as she looked around his room. There wasn't much to see as his room was minimally decorated. Books lined the shelves, and he had a stack of books sitting on the table that he was planning on reading. Also, unlike many others, he had his own room after an incident a year before that resulted in him being injured by other boys. He had been given his own room away from them in order to avoid a lawsuit, even if none of the other boys had been held accountable beyond detention, forcing Edwin to still see them every day.
"How did you know where my room is?" Edwin asked softly before Crystal could say anything.
"Charles told me," Crystal explained. Edwin narrowed his eyes.
"He told you," Edwin whispered.
"He did," Crystal responded.
"How long ago?" Edwin asked.
"Almost a year ago," Crystal admitted. Edwin took that information in as he looked down at the floor.
"I didn't know," Edwin informed her.
"I'm not surprised. Charles asked me not to tell you, but wanted me to know where you were in case something happened to him. It was only today when I saw you that I understood why, and I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner." Crystal explained.
"I don't know what you mean," Edwin lied again.
"I'm not blind, Edwin. Others know he is in the hospital, but no one else looks like they lost a part of themselves," Crystal told him.
"Is it that obvious?" Edwin wondered, and Crystal nodded. Edwin groaned, putting his face in his hands. He had tried so hard to hold it together for Charles, and he couldn't even do that.
"Don't worry, I don't think anyone else knows," Crystal informed him.
"That's a relief," Edwin sighed. He rubbed his face, then looked up at her again. "How is he?"
"I don't know, but we could call him?" Crystal suggested. Edwin shook his head no.
"I can't risk his safety that way," Edwin sighed, figuring he was just going to have to be satisfied with the news Charles was alive.
"You won't have to. I will call. If his dad answers, then it will be me on the line." Edwin wanted to tell her no, but he also needed to hear Charles's voice and know he was going to be alright. He agreed and watched as Crystal pulled out a cell phone. It was against school policy to have a phone, but several students did, and Edwin wasn't going to complain if it meant that he could talk to Charles. Edwin listened as she called the nearby hospital. After a brief conversation, she hung up and tried the next. It took her several tries before she finally found where Charles was located.
"They are transferring me to his room," Crystal told him as hold music played.
"Hello?" Crystal asked. Edwin couldn't hear the reply, but someone had to have answered.
"Hi, are you doing alright?" Crystal asked as Edwin got to his feet, moving over to her. He leaned as close as he could, eager to hear Charles's voice and know that he was okay. Crystal gently nudged him away as she turned slightly with the phone still by her ear, causing Edwin to glare at her. "Are you alone?" A pause. "Good, because I have someone with me who is eager to speak with you." With that, she held out the phone to Edwin. He practically ripped it out of her hands as he took it and brought it to his ear.
"Charles?" He questioned, his voice shaking.
"Hey," Charles sighed happily, and Edwin couldn't help his sigh of relief.
"How are you?" Edwin wondered.
"Sore and tired. I have to stay here for at least a week, and then I will be sent home for a bit before I will be allowed to return to school," Charles explained. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," Edwin told him immediately.
"Liar," Charles chuckled, causing Edwin to smile. He spoke to Charles for a little longer until he was sure he was alive and recovering. It broke his heart when he had to tell Charles goodbye as a nurse entered the room to check on him. He reluctantly let Charles go with a soft goodbye instead of the I love you that was on the tip of his tongue. He held the phone against his ear long after Charles hung up, before reluctantly passing it back to Crystal, who was sitting at his desk waiting.
"Thank you," Edwin said as he handed her the phone. She took it, slipping it back into her pocket. He gave a short breakdown of Charles's side of the conversation, reassuring her that Charles was going to be alright. She didn't stick around much longer, slipping out before the halls got busy and leaving Edwin alone again. Only, this time he was no longer filled with despair as, within a few weeks, Charles would be in his arms again. He just had to be patient until then.