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Jax finds himself in a room full of memories. From (REDACTED) to (REDACTED). Visions of (REDACTED) made his head spin until he arrives at the circus for the first time. Good thing he didn't overreact in that time. Kinger, Ragatha and Ribbit was there trying to calm him down. Ribbit was the first to reach out and together with Kaufmo they were a tight-knit group of friends who can laugh together and just chill. But just as those memories are a source of comfort it shackles him to a past he couldn't ever fix. Ribbit is gone. Kaufmo is gone. Kaufmo's death was truly the straw that broke the camels back. He can't forget when he saw it for the first time when he was with Pomni and Ragatha. He feigned ignorance and ran the hell out of there, the moment he had some privacy to himself was when he finally broke down and cried, holding the random bowling bowl he took close to his chest. More than anyone else in the circus, he blames himself. He was his friend and he didn't help him.
It made him remember one of the words Ribbit asked him. The one that started it all
"Have you done something you ever regret?"
the stars turn into fire and the roses change from red to black.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
"I rather not remember. It doesn't matter anymore"
He sits in a corner, wondering where he is. Is he in a dream? Doesn't matter. Kinger killed Caine. Now they have nothing. He's been staying in this space for a long time too pondering if anything truly mattered. His feigned hatred for everyone, especially Ragatha. Like a big sister he never had, not that he'll admit it of course. He once thought one day she won't last long. He finds himself in front of her door with a huge red X across her face. All he could do was stare in pain, caressing the surface of the wooden exterior.
He didn't even mind all shenanigans he went through with Kinger. Even if he was insane, it still was funny when he gets to mess with him. No harm. Just a lighthearted chime from Ragatha to stop whatever he was doing. The time he covered his face with mash potatoes was always a highlight of his memories even if it was digital food. Truly non-consequential.
with Zooble and Gangle. It was fun. They just need to let loose and not be too serious, is what he'd tell himself anyways. The maid outfit was fine too. He even secretly thought it does look good on him. Not that it matters. The shock on Gangle's face when he admited it was worth it. He's just sitting in the corner of maybe his dreams. All he sees is darkness.
"Jax?"
He turns his head and at first he was just hearing things. But when he hears her voice a second time, much more clear and loud than the first time. He finally sees her. He can't even remember when was the last time they last spoke. Was it when he lashed out at Kinger? Was it when he lashed out on everyone? Oh.
Oh.
Jax stared. What is she doing here? How? She shouldn't be here and yet.When Pomni takes a few steps forward, he took a few steps back. "You shouldn't be here. " he said, on edge. A part of him is screaming he doesn't deserve to be with anyone. Not after everything he did and say. After he found out he's not in a game. He is real. So are those people. Kinger, Ragatha, Kaufmo, Ribbit, Gangle, Zooble and Pomni. If they truly were real people does that make his actions...unforgivable at this point? How could they ever forgive him ever again? How can they take those words back?
As his mind scrambles to think he feels Pomni simply hugging him, her words carrying weight. "It's okay." Jax looks shocked. Like he was shot with a bullet. Stop. He does love this but no. After what he did to Ribbit and Kaufmo. He can't think of himself as any more than The bunny who murdered love.
Yet, he doesn't want to push her away anymore. He reluctantly leans back into her, crying as he finally hugs her back. "It was my fault...every friend I touched dies" like a Midus in reverse. Instead of gold, he causes death and suffering.
It was not fun at all. It was painful losing the people he deeply cares for. It didn't matter that he couldn't even tell them his secrets. They still connected in this stagnant and meaningless existence. As far a Jax is concerned they were his world. Right before he decided his secrets were more important than the bonds he forged that is.
When he turned his back on his friends all because he was scared to lose them over his secrets in the first place. Like a self-fullfiling prophecy. One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.
"Jax. You're gonna be okay. I promise" Pomni said with sincerity. The same look she gave him when she reaches out his hand to him when they were heading to Caine's office that one adventure.
Jax in all honesty still doesn't trust her. It's not that easy. But the fact of the matter was, he has to. She does seem certain. He has no one else to turn to for now but her.
He slowly releases her from his grip.
"Where is this anyways? Am I dreaming? .....and if this is a dream are you even real?" He holds her face, squishing her cheeks before she pulls his hands away. "No. You......" she trails off, looking unsure at first and she shakes her head.
"..you wandered too deep into your own mind and I'm gonna help you get out."
Huh?
Jax stared. What does that even mean? Does he want to know what it means?
He just shrugs. No amount of questioning might bring her to just spilling it but whatever.
"Do you even know a way out?" He asked, eyebrow quirked.
Pomni looks around, examining the place. The checkered floor, a few doors they could enter. All they have to do is find the exit in this maze of a place. That should be it right? In this digital plane of existence. Doors has always been the mechanic of leaving.
She turns to face Jax "Yeah. Of course. Just follow me"
The two of them started opening one door after another and each door leads to different memories. Most of from previous adventures such as the one in the Candy kingdom where he is seen purposefully leaving the gate unlike for a certain Fudge monster to...say hi to the candy people! He was sure it was a delicious encounter. Pomni closed the door before they get to see the aftermath . Jax wore a wry smile. "What? They still aren't real."
Pomni and Jax continued to walk along the corridors, and in of them is Jax accidentally walking in on Gangle with a Ragatha figurine. Jax immediately slams the door before Pomni could get a word in. "Nah." He said and walked away.
They kept seeing memories from more of their adventures from the The Mystery of Mildenhall Manor to the Spudsy's.
"Wow, those really were good times, huh? Considering everything and all" Pomni looks at Jax who just looks neutral. He tries to be anyway. He still feels complicated. Is there even a point?
Pomni stopped walking. "Hey Jax?"
Jax stops to look back, just waiting for her to break the silence.
"Do you remember how you got here?" She asked, boring a hole through him.
Jax shook his head. He fell asleep and woke up here in this endless hall of doors.
"No. Do you?"
She also shook her head. "Let's just say I fell into a hole and followed a rabbit"
Just as they were about to continue their conversation they see a door with a lock. Pomni takes out a key from her pocket, making Jax look at her confusedly. "Where did you get that?"
Pomni smiles. "You aren't the only one who has keys to every door."
Ah, right. At some point he did give her all his keys. He didn't know it would extend to doors in probably his own mind but then again they are in a digital space. Nothing is impossible here. Anything except leaving it.
She then inserts the key and opens it. They see a glow. At first they see nothing, it was too bright. It could be the exit out of wherever this is. They both stepped inside until the brightness took over their entire sight. It practically and thankfully temporarily blinded them and they arrived at a gloomy, shadowy and misty landscapes, chilling rivers. Contrasting the glow they were blinded by was dark, desolate caverns and a sunless sky. Countless "shades"drift through the gloom.
Are they in a new form of Hell?
They looked back and the door behind them was already gone. Great.
Both of them had no choice but to keep moving forward, even if they couldn't ask anyone for directions. After all everyone here is-
Pomni accidentally steps on a flute, she somehow didn't break it and she picks it up. "I used to play this in my middle school. I even watched tutorials online" she plays a few quick notes, sounding a bit off. Jax laughs. "Yeah, keep playing. I'm sure the three-headed dog guarding the gate will like your music."
As if on cue, the dogs in question howled and growled at the sight of them. The two of them froze in shock.
"Play something." Jax whispers hushly. Pomni gulped before playing a soothing song, eventually it took on a melancholic tune too making Cerberus drop all 3 of his heads. They were lulled into a deep sleep. It was now or never. They snuck inside.
Whatever awaits them, they were ready for it.