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“This is one of the worst ideas you’ve had yet.” My friend’s hand pulls mine all the way to the doors of the cafe.
“I know, I know. But you need to get back out there! Don’t worry, he’s super nice! And I think you’ll find him funny. Anyway, you have your fun, I’ll be just down the street at my appointment. Come get me or call if you need me for anything. Got it?” I can’t help chuckling at her.
“I got it, I’ll call or walk if needed.” She stops me from walking through the doors.
“Look at me. Look into my eyes.” Despite my dramatic eye roll and fake annoyed look, I appreciate what she’s doing right now, and do as told. “You are not a bother to me. I want you to come get me if you need me. And I will hit you if you don’t contact me if things go wrong. Am I understood?” A smile finds its way on my face.
“Understood.” She practically searches my fucking Soul for a few seconds before backing off.
“Good. Have fun.” We wave each other off and I enter the cute little cafe.
Glancing around, I try to locate whoever might be the blind date. She said I would just kinda know, didn’t even tell me the guy’s name. There’s a couple of Rabbit Monster women in a booth, laughing about something. A Human guy texting on his phone at one of the tables, doesn’t seem my type from here. An older man reading a book-
“HELLO!” A surprised squeak escapes me as I whip to the side at the loud voice. “Sorry! I Had No Intentions Of Scaring You…” At the table right next to the door is a skeleton with red-rimmed glasses, his voice quiets down a bit after apologising. First of all, shoulders! Heck yes! Second of all, tall. “Are You Here To Meet A Blind Date?”
“I am, yes! Uh, I don’t have a name or anything to really go off of, though.” His yellow shirt has “Cool Dude” in white lettering, cute!
“I Also Do Not Know The Name Of My Date, But… Um…” His bony hand reaches up to scratch at his skull… which messes up the fuzz on it?! What?! Soft skeleton?! “I Was Told My Date Would Be Cute, And Well, You Are! So…” Oh gosh my face is hot. His eye lights lock onto that quickly. “Why Don’t You Take A Seat, You Seem Hot. What Would You Like To Drink?” He stands and directs me into the seat with a large but gentle hand on my mid back. Uhm, yes sir! Also, did I mention tall???
I give him the order I’ve been looking forward to all morning, and he walks right off to go order it. Wait, that means he’ll have to pay for it! Shoot. Do I go up and insist on paying? Right off the bat he seems the type to pay for a date, insistantly. I should probably just let it happen, no big deal, it’s just a coffee. But coffee prices are getting ridiculous. How does a skeleton look so good in jeans?
“Here Is Your Drink!” I freeze for a second at the realization I was so zoned out, but snap back into being a freaking person and accept the offered drink.
“Thank you! Very kind of you to order and pay for it for me.” Why are words so hard? He waves it off like nothing, though.
“Any Date Of The Great Papyrus Should Be Able To Forget They Even Have A Wallet! Not That I’ve Had Many Opportunities To Express That.” He gives a little almost-nervous chuckle that sounds somewhat like a quiet “nyeh heh heh” and scratches at his cheekbone.
Shrugging nonchalantly, I try to make the vibe feel more chill. “Nothing wrong with being a little inexperienced in the dating department. This is actually my first date in a while, if that makes you feel better.” He chuckles again, his eye lights squinting a little, like how a Human’s eyes would because of eyelids and such.
“It Actually Makes Me Slightly More Nervous-” Oh shoot!
“Oh no no, don’t be nervous! I mean, you have no serious competition, that’s good!” This time, he gives a real laugh.
“Nyeh Heh Heh! I Will Try Not To Be, But You Already Make Me A Bit Nervous.” Some vague attempt at words tries to make itself known from me, but ultimately I just hide a bit of my face with my drink. An orange blush erupts on his face, which he then tries to hide with his hands, not very effective being a skeleton and all. “Apologies, That Was A Bit Forward.” My drink almost spills as my shoulders shake.
“I don’t think so, it’s a very nice thing to say. Is it weird to say I’m glad I make you nervous? And uh, also that you make me nervous too? That might have been obvious actually.” We get a couple stares from out laughter, his is pretty loud, I don’t mind. Goodness knows mine gets loud when I’m comfortable… If the date goes too well we might get asked to leave.
“So Uhm…” He taps on the side of his cup, long finger bones drawing swirls on the material for a moment. “Do You Like Puzzles?” Oh… I want this man carnally.
~~*~~~*~~
Sans pops into the cafe, tapping on the counter to get the worker’s attention. The Cat Monster rolls her eyes at him.
“He’s doing fine, Sans. Why you set him up with a Human woman though, I’ll never know. Thought you had a thing against them?”
“what?” He spins around so quickly she isn’t sure he didn’t “shortcut” 180 degrees. “that’s not who he’s supposed to meet. where’s-” The person he actually tried to set his brother up with is… chatting with some older Human man? Well, in all fairness there was gonna be a bit of an age gap between his friend and his brother… maybe they’ll like the Human more, whatever.
But Papyrus is chatting away with some random Human! Sans is about to go over and… just check on things when he stops and… Paps looks like he’s having a great time. Even the Human looks like she’s having the time of her life. Anyone talking to Papyrus should have the time of their life, obviously, he’s the best guy in the world!
It’s not his fault he’s loud and excitable and really likes puzzles and video games and… really really likes puzzles. Or that his jokes don’t always hit and he swings between insecure and confident and only knows how to cook spaghetti… okay that last one might be Sans’s fault, noodles and pasta sauce is an awfully easy grocery list to remember.
Sans shortcuts to a chair close enough to the two to hear them without getting seen by the two, which means he has the pick of almost any seat in the cafe. Thank goodness the owner owes him a favor, so she won’t kick the two out.
Are they… showing each other things on their phones?
“This one is one of my favorites! You have to guide the sugar into the cups, and there’s obstacles and color specific cups and sometimes you have to change the gravity! Ugh, it’s so fun!” Paps laughs… without the performative “Nyeh Heh Heh” he usually does…
“Let Me Try That One! You Try This One I Made! I Think You’ll Like It!” They swap phones and sit there giggling and talking about the puzzles. Papyrus even lets her help on a level! He doesn’t let people help him! What the stars!
“Oooooo this one’s hard… Can I have a hint?”
~~*~~~*~~
For an hour Sans sits there and listens to the two talk about the different puzzles on their phones.
Then they move on to video games, where their tastes go a little off from each other, but their conversation doesn’t even slow. Instead of just bonding over similar tastes, they take turns listening to each other talk about their own favorite games. Even expressing interest in trying out each other’s games.
… What is happening? Papyrus isn’t supposed to end up with a Human. Sans leans onto the table, chin in his hands.
It has been a long time since a reset… maybe the kid is right… maybe he should give the whole “humans suck and we shouldn’t make too many friends with them” thing a rest.
Just as he starts walking up to his brother and his date, another Human woman yanks him into a booth, glaring at him.
“If you dare mess this up for my friend- Are you fuzzy? What the heck? Not important! If you mess this date up for my friend I’ll use your bones to make a nice healthy broth and serve it to the homeless.” Her brow is set harshly, and he takes a glance at her Soul. Bright fuckin green. “Did you seriously just look at my cleavage?” Now she looks immensely unimpressed.
“uh, i think we should take better stock of the situation.” She covers her mouth to hide her snort, and he can’t help a little smirk. “make sure we make the breast decision possible.” Now she’s got a little blush and… actually it’s… kinda cute on her. Not that Sans would ever date a Human…
“Shut up, those are awful. Anyway, this is the best date my friend over there has ever had, please don’t mess it up for her, please.” Genuine care for her friend shines in her eyes, and he can’t help looking back over to the two by the door, laughing too loud and talking like there’s no one else around.
“this is his best date too… well, he had a pretty good plum last week, so-” The woman next to him punches his shoulder… oddly gently, and he finds himself completely unharmed and laughing along with her. Humans… so full of intent, and as he searches her Soul, as deep as he can, he doesn’t see a single drop of violence.
“You’ve got terrible humor.” Even so, her laughter dances in the air around him. “Wanna get a coffee?” Forward… he likes it.
“yeah, actually, i do.”
Papyrus and his human laugh loudly at something, and as Sans’s brother calms and stares at the woman with such hope…
Okay fine, these two Humans are okay.