Work Text:
The phone rang in the office as it usually did.
“I got it, I got it!!” Max exclaimed as she lunged at the phone, anticipating getting whacked or immediately tackled. But her eyes opened as she realized she was being met with no resistance.
“Sam?” Max asked, her voice echoing in the office. Then she spotted it, a note plastered on Sam’s wooden hunk of a desk that read: “Leaving this for when your deficient short term memory resets and you forget where I went, I’m out getting groceries.”
“Okay guess I do got it then.” Max shrugged gleefully, “Hello? Freelance police! Yuh huh. No! Video? Leaking to the press? Well okay yeah I can meet you in front of the office.” With that Max hung up the phone.
As she descended the steps of the building Max took in this mysterious phone caller. He looked to be a mole man wearing sunglasses and a beige coloured trench coat with the collar turned up.
“You called?” Max said as she eyed the suspicious looking fella.
“Yeah. Now pay up or I’ll release this video of your partner beating up some innocent civilians.”
“You don’t know us that well huh, because unnecessary violence is kinda our thing. Well that and speaking extraordinarily complicated verbose sentences sure to confuse anyone who has studied under the American education system.” Max grinned.
“Yes well either way,” The moleman continued, dropping the deeper voice he was imitating and continuing in a much more nasally one, “I doubt the public would take too kindly finding out about your unsavoury business practices.”
“Even if I did care about that sort of thing, which I don’t, for all I know you could be making this whole thing up.” Max was getting bored.
The moleman waved the camera. “Got it all on tape here.”
“Give me!” Max exclaimed, lunging for the video camera in his hand.
The moleman ducked Max’s lung, saying “Hold on, let me show you,” as he started playing the tape.
As Max looked through the camera screen she saw an alley shrouded in the dark of night. and standing in that alley was some blonde tourist looking guy. In the background she could distinctly make out the sound of Desoto's engine as headlights lit up the alley. The bright lights were focused on a dorky looking blonde tourist who was standing in the alley fiddling with a map. Then a large figure moved into the frame. It took Max a moment to recognize that it was her partner approaching, but she looked different. Gone was Sam’s normal blue gray suit jacket and hat, she was strapped down to just her white button down. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows with the top few buttons of her shirt undone and her tie hung loosely around her neck. Her face was twisted into a furious snarl, as she growled at the tourist. Then she grabbed hold of the man’s shirt, her hand smacking across his face demanding to know where Max’s brain was. Max felt her face grow hot as she watched Sam interrogate the man. Just as it was starting to get good the moleman stopped the tape.
“Hey I was watching that!” Max protested.
“So you see now the kind of leverage at my disposal,” the moleman schemed, he continued to monologue but at that point Max had completely stopped listening. All she could focus on was getting her paws around that tape. She quickly jumped at the moleman, nabbing the camera as she fled back into the building.
Max made her way to the apartment above the office where the two of them lived when they weren’t on shift. Their place much like their office was filled with random crap, and more than a few odd pieces of clothing sprinkled around the furniture. Max called out but got no answer; it seemed Sam still wasn’t home. She gripped the tape in her hand, she wondered about her actions just the minute before. She should have ripped that moleman to shreds for his blackmail attempt, but instead all she could think about was how much she needed to see the rest of the tape.
Max jumped into her bunk and pressed play. She watched as the video continued showing Sam smack around the tourist. It’s not like Max was surprised by a tape like this existing, Sam had mentioned to her that she roughed up some perps when she had gotten her brain stolen but Max never thought she’d be able to witness it in person. Never thought she’d see her partner reenact justice on her behalf. But it also wasn’t at all like she expected. Sam on the video continued to growl at the perp, she didn’t sound like Sam, not like how she usually talked anyways, her tone was harsh and brooding, monologuing about crime and shoving her gun against the tourist’s maw. She was yelling at the tourist calling him a liar, the man trembled nervously. Max felt her face go red again as she watched Sam effortlessly grip the collar of the tourist’s shirt. She felt all weird inside, feverish. She paused the video on a frame zoomed into Sam. Her partner’s eyes were narrowed on the perp with such intensity, I wish she would look at me that way, the thought passed through Max’s head.
Then it started to dawn on her, she knew this feeling. Watching Sam was making her feel all hot and bothered. Huh this of all things is doing it for me? Max wondered. But the thought didn’t disturb her, no, it slipped through her like an easy morning, something about it just felt comfortable. Slowly she let herself get lost in the tape, letting her hand gently lower across her body. Running her hand down her thigh and in between her legs. Her mind filled with thoughts of Sam, of her strong arms, the sweat glistening off her, her angry glare as she beat up people on Max’s behalf. God Sam was hot, Max thought.
There was something about the way Sam growled her name, the unhinged look in her eye, Max’s breathing hitched as she could feel herself getting close. She was so distracted with the video and her thoughts she hadn’t heard the sound of the door opening.
“Fudgy freezes were on sale at the store so I picked up—” Sam’s voice halted as her eyes met Max’s.
“Shit.” Max said, dropping the camera and turning away from Sam as her face flushed.
“I’m sorry little buddy I should have knocked or something!” Sam exclaimed, blushing furiously. “I’m gonna, I think I forgot something at the store.” Sam said dropping the paper bag of groceries and bolting to the door of the apartment.
As the apartment door slammed behind Sam, Max was left staring at the bag of groceries and a popsicle that went splat against the floor.
Sam hopped into the Desoto, her foot slammed on the gas as she sped down the street feeling the wind against her fur. She had to get out of there, she couldn’t stop thinking about what she had just witnessed.
Her mind started to process like the way she thought about a case. She would start by piecing together a timeline. Yes it all started when she noticed early how slender the fridge was getting a few hours earlier. All that was left inside was the odd near spoiled piece of celery that had gone untouched. Sam went through a phase where she wanted to start eating healthier but that died about as quick as it started especially when living with a rabbit perpetually fuelled on sugar. Anyways with the hours they worked they rarely cooked as is, aside from on weekends when Sam would whip up a huge stack of pancakes for them to chow down on. She admitted she wasn’t much of a chef but she could make a mean pancake, and she couldn’t resist the way Max’s eyes lit up at the prospect of having pancakes for breakfast, naturally loaded with as much whip cream and maple syrup as was possible.
Anyways there she was out grabbing a few things, loading up on a bunch of their favourite snacks. When she returned from the trip the sun scorched on her and Sam couldn’t resist breaking into the pack of Fudgy Freezes as she walked into the building.
So there she was groceries in hand, popsicles melting on her tongue as she entered the apartment. The door was unlocked which meant Max was home. She had made a mental note of reminding her roommate once again to lock the door, with all the crime in this area it was lucky they hadn’t gotten broken into. Still as she walked in to her it sounded like Max was watching TV.
But she wasn’t watching TV.
The sound of talking Sam heard must’ve been coming from that video camera of Max’s. The video camera, what the hell was Max watching on there, a damn sex tape? Sam felt weird speculating but she couldn’t help being curious what riled up her partner. I mean she knew Max, she knew everything about Max, being her best friend since she could remember, you learn a lot about a person, and she knew all sorts about Max but aside from the odd innuendos or jokes about her little buddy being into some kinky shit, the topic of sex didn’t come up between them often. I mean Sam figured Max did this sort of thing from time to time, she was a rabbit after all, frankly she was surprised she hadn’t caught her doing it sooner. Not that she frequently thought about Max doing that type of thing. At least, she tried not to. Besides it wasn’t like Sam never felt that way herself, being chronically single herself she had to find ways of quelling that urge sometimes. But in all this time the two of them have never managed to walk in on each other like this.
Sam gripped the wheel tighter as her mind played over the memory. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about this? Thinking about the way the moan had left Max’s lips before she had realized Sam was there. And great leaping lizards on a pogo stick it was hot, Sam thought, as she pictured the desperate noise Max made. This is all too weird, Sam thought to herself, she shouldn’t be thinking of Max like that. Her thoughts were mercifully interrupted by the phone ringing in the car, Sam picked up the phone,
“Hello?”
“Sam, hey it’s me.” Max said, “Look I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for you to see that, can you just, come back, I don’t want things to be weird between us you know?”
“No it’s okay little buddy, I should have knocked first, I didn’t mean to evade your privacy like that especially when you were uhh, I’m coming back, don't worry.”
“Okay good, I’m gonna go pick up some dinner for us.” Max offered.
“Roger that, I’ll see you soon .”
“Max?” Sam called out as she got to the apartment. It seemed Max was still out picking up dinner. She made her way back to the bedroom, she couldn’t help but stare at the empty spot in Max’s bunk where she caught her. The video camera rested on the bed still. She approached it slowly, hesitant, but her curiosity got the better of her. Had Max indeed made a sex tape? She didn’t even know Max was hooking up with anyone let alone this. She had to know. She glanced around briefly, making sure that she was alone. Then Sam turned on the camera. She clicked on the most recent video, and well the only one on the video camera. But instead of the explicit content of which she anticipated her mouth gaped as she realized it was a video of her. A video of her beating up crooks in the alley. Sam cringed as she watched herself act so brutish. She could still remember the rage that gripped hold of her when they stole her partner’s brain. She would have burned the city to ashes, smeared everyone’s blood on the pavement to get Max back. But now all she could feel was a bit embarrassed seeing someone catch her Noir persona on tape.
Sam turned her thoughts back to the tape at hand, putting the pieces together. This can't be it, she thought, this was what got Max feeling so frisky? She shook her head, surely she was wrong there must’ve been another video on here that Max deleted but as she went through the trash on the camera she found it was empty. This was it. This of all things was what Max had been getting off to. Max was turned on by her? She couldn’t believe it.
Then Sam stopped for a moment as the realization took over her, Max had a thing for her. Maybe she didn’t know to what extent, but she certainly seemed interested in her from what she had witnessed. Sam scratched her head, no, no she would have known if Max was into her, it was probably another weird kink of hers. I mean Max being turned on by violence did seem completely on brand for her.
Still something inside of Sam ached. She liked that rabbit, she liked her a lot. They’d always been friends, that was true, but something in Sam had slowly shifted over the years. She couldn’t recall exactly when it was that she first looked at Max and truly noticed her, but she did remember in junior year when a brush of Max’s hand could make Sam melt. When her heart started to flutter around that pretty rabbit. It felt so wrong to want her best friend in that way, it felt like she was hiding something so dark and twisted so she did her best to push the feelings away, but they were always just around the corner. Sometimes she’d find her eyes lingering on Max a bit too long, or smile too hard at the sound of her voice over the phone, get too jealous when people would hit on her partner. And every time she had to pull herself out of it. They were best friends, work partners, roommates, it’s everything Sam could want. Sam placed the camera back onto the bed and returned to the living room.
Max arrived shortly with the food.
“Got extra spring rolls too!” Sam’s partner said as she laid out the massive portion of food. Max took a generous helping of food in the shape of a mountain on her plate and was quickly working through it. Sam took about the same amount but could only pick at it. They sat on the couch eating as the TV played some trashy show in the background.
“Hey Max.”
“Yeah?”
“Is that video camera you got new?”
“Uh yeah, thought we could make some promotional stuff for the biz.” Max mumbled as she chewed.
“And you’re filming raunchy material to advertise the freelance police? Because it looked like you were really into what you were watching.”
“Sam.” Max’s eyes pleaded. “Can we not?”
Sam obliged for a moment, taking another bite of food before asking, “So what exactly is so attractive to you about watching me beat up perps?”
Max momentarily choked on her food. “What?!”
“Come on, I saw the tape. I knew you enjoyed violent acts but didn’t think it was to that extent.”
“Sam it wasn’t what it looked like I swear I—” Max argued as she put the plate down.
“Max calm down, I don’t mean to pry in those lascivious thoughts of yours but I gotta know, why that video?”
Her partner set down the plate of food, her eyes sheepishly meeting Sam’s.
“Okay fine! It was just so sexy watching you be so protective over me. I don’t know, I just didn’t expect to see you act like that. Not over me.” Max turned her eyes to the floor. “It just, it felt good, you know? And you were acting so... I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear, I would never want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Who said I was uncomfortable,” Sam said, letting the silence wash over them as a smirk grew across her face, “Unbelievable.”
“Sam?” Max asked her face closer to her partner’s with a confused glare. Sam responded by grabbing at her partner’s ears. Max twitched as Sam touched an area she knew to be sensitive on her ears.
“You knucklehead.”
“Sam.” Max whined pathetically. “Sam what are you…”
“What I should have done a long time ago.” Sam said as she moved her face closer, kissing her partner on the lips. Then she moved her head away slightly to gauge Max’s reaction but before she could Max gripped her partner’s face, interlocking lips again, straddling Sam on the couch.
“Mm kiss me again Sammy.”
“I don’t think I’m hungry anymore little buddy.” Sam said, her eyes glancing towards the food on the table in front of the couch. Then continued to kiss her partner.
“I am.” Max smirked, eyeing Sam like she was that mountain of food on her plate. “Can I?” Max asked as she pulled Sam gently by the tie.
Sam nodded excitedly.
First Max took off the tie, then she helped Sam unbutton her shirt. Max’s hands lingered on her partner’s full bust digging her finger into her chest as she continued to make out with her. But as she ran her hands down from Sam’s chest she felt her partner tense up.
“Sam?” Max tilted her head as she pulled her head away.
Sam was stuck in her head again. She felt stupid, her partner, someone she had wanted so badly was all over her and all she could think about was her body. It was horrible she knew it was but she couldn’t help comparing hers to Max’s. Sam was chubby, she’s always been and most days she was good with that. Sure Max would crack jokes about her weight sometimes but that never really bothered her, annoyed sometimes but she knew Max was just teasing her. But now felt different, now that her body was being perceived like this, she couldn’t help but think Max would reject her for the way she looked under all the clothes she wore.
“Sam, Earth to Sam. If this is too much we can stop.” Max said. “You okay?”
Sam sat up, she hated to ruin this fun sexy moment but the pressure was building inside her head.
“Yeah I just need a minute.”
“What’s wrong? Was I going too fast?” Max asked her voice somehow faster than usual, “I got excited and—”
“No it’s not that.” Sam found herself lacking the words, she didn’t even know how to start to explain this, she felt embarrassed.
“Hey I’m here.” Max lifted up Sam’s chin, smiling as her partner’s eyes soured. Sam crossed her arms in front of her stomach which made Max finally clue in to what was going on. Max took a seat next to her partner on the couch. She extended her paw so that it was touching Sam’s. For a moment the two of them sat like that, hand in hand. Then Max turned to look at her best friend, “Sammy, you’re so gorgeous.”
Max gently ran her fingers down her partner’s hair. “You know I think you’re the hottest person alive right? I mean other than myself of course." Max flashed a smile.
“Yea little buddy.” Sam responded flatly.
“Sam, I'm being serious.” Max said, staring now into Sam’s dark eyes. “I think you’re sexy, every part of you. That’s why you caught me in the first place isn’t it?”
“Yeah you’re a real sick bunny Max.”
“What can I say, I can’t resist ya.” Max bore her adorable and only slightly unnervingly sharp toothy grin.
This made Sam feel all warm again, she knew Max wanted her and hearing her say it now, she knew it was just her brain being dumb. She did like how she looked even if that wasn’t the case everyday. Maybe she could feel sexy, Max definitely made her feel that way.
Sam kissed Max back, slowly at first but then picking up in intensity as she started unbuttoning her pants.
“You’re mighty fetching yourself Max.”
“God you flirt like my granny.”
“Isn’t your granny dead?”
“My point stands.”
“How about you’re finer than a—”
“Shut up and kiss me you dork.” Max said, shutting up Sam’s cornball attempts at flirting.
Then Sam picked Max up with ease pushing her up near the top of the couch, using one hand to hold her against it. She trailed her kisses nuzzling Max’s neck.
“Mm Sam.” Max breathed, “Are you gonna give me hickeyes, mark me up like some horny teenager?”
“How else am I gonna show people you’re mine?” Sam said. She bit down on the lagomorph's neck sucking hard which caused her partner to squeak out a pleasant sound. She continued to bruise her up till she reached her legs, moving closer and closer in between them. Kissing around the inside of her thigh.
“Quite teasing Sam.” Max squirmed.
“You could learn a thing or two about patience little buddy.”
Max stuck her tongue out defiantly.
“You’re lucky I find your bratty attitude adorable.” Sam said, gripping Max’s wrists holding her down, Max grinned as her partner restrained her. Then Sam complied with her partner’s request.
“God Sam.” Max moaned as Sam lapped between Max’s thighs. “Give me more.”
Sam moved her hand up toward Max’s mouth, then with two fingers she parted Max’s lips. Max eagerly sucked the fingers, her lips coating the length of them which made Sam blush. The dog then lowered her fingers inside Max. Sam pressed her face back down onto Max, she continued to lick at her flesh as she flexed her fingers inside partner. Max whined even louder now which turned on Sam even more than she thought was possible. She sped up with her movements, causing Max’s breaths to quicken till all she could hear was short gasped breaths. And all of the words Max wanted to say couldn’t escape her heaving lungs. Her partner’s body trembled as she reached climax. Sam licked up all the releases from her partner.
“Mm that was so good Max, I mean Sam.” Max said, as she relaxed onto the couch. Sam’s tail wagged wildly at the praise.
Max inched closer to Sam bringing her hand to Sam’s face as she leaned in for another kiss. As Max’s tongue wrapped around her partner’s she slid her knee in between Sam’s legs causing her to whine surprised by the sudden pressure. She scratched behind Sam’s ear in a place that she knew drove her crazy as she continued to rock her knee in between her lover’s legs.
“Fuck.” Sam muttered as Max sped up the tempo of her leg. Sam didn’t swear often but Max took pride in how she was able to get Sam to cuss. Max kissed Sam’s neck, trailing across to her shoulders. Then when Sam was too busy moaning Max took a bite into her partner’s strong shoulder.
“Ow! Max.” Sam groaned. “What was that for?”
“You were just looking so damn tasty Sam.” Max grinned devilishly as she watched the irritated expression on her partner’s face.
“Then you should have finished dinner instead of taking it out on me, you sadistic…” Sam moaned as Max continued to grind against her, “little…”
“At a loss for words?” Max teased as Sam's laboured breaths came through. She then replaced the area her knee was rubbing against with her tongue. Which caused Sam to shutter all over, as her pleasure only continued to heighten, it was almost unbearable.
“Bunny.” Sam finally moaned out, as she dripped from her thighs onto the couch. As she panted, Max went to fetch a towel from the washroom. She wiped up the now unfortunately stained couch till it was dry and settled back into it beside Sam. Then reaching for a blanket from the side of the chair Max laid it upon Sam, cuddling up with her under the covers.
“We should really get a normal bed.” Max said, “If we’re going to be doing this more often.”
“Already thinking about next time huh?”
“It’s going to be all I’m thinking about Sam.”
“You’re such a rabbit.”
“Excuse me, I prefer lagomorph.”
“Shut up Max.”
Sam pulled Max closer, settling her against her chest. Her fur was so soft against her. Breathing felt so easy beside her, she couldn’t remove the smile that stuck itself to her face. If Sam could live this moment forever she would.
“Say, where did you get that video in the first place?” Sam asked, realizing she hadn’t even gotten all the answers about the tape, “Not like you were around to take it. Not even alternate you.”
“Oh some moleman was threatening to release it as part of some type of scheme to soil the Freelance Police name. But it ended up in better hands instead.”
“If you’re implying your hands are the better ones…”
“Well unlike the moleman there’s only a 50% chance I release this one to the public.”
“Don’t even joke Max seeing myself on tape was mortifying enough. We should delete it.”
“Delete it? No! Sam this is going into my personal inventory, I’m keeping it forever!”
“Personal inventory, where would you even put it?”
“That’s none of your damn business.”
“Right.” Sam shook her head, spooning her partner in anti crime. She could see Max was fading fast as she purred in her embrace. If only she had known all it took was having sex with Max to shut her up Sam would have done it a long time ago.
“I really like you Max.” Sam said softly enough that she didn’t think Max would hear.
“I like ya too.” Max muttered, in her half conscious state, looking away from Sam she finally felt like she could be honest, “Been liking ya since the third grade, even before I knew what it meant to like someone like that. Never thought you felt the same.”
Max felt a hand grab onto her shoulder. Her partner turned her over to face her, Max could see tears dot in Sam’s dark eyes.
“Oh geez Sam, we don’t need to make this a whole thing.” Max said laying on the attitude defensively, suddenly feeling the weight of her words.
“You liked me for that long?” Sam shook her head, “And you never said anything.”
“How could I? I couldn’t ruin what we had!”
“Max, you remember when I came out as bi at the end of junior year?”
“Yeah?”
“It was because of you. Because I realized I had feelings for you knucklehead!”
Max smiled sheepishly which Sam had no idea she was even capable of. “I know they say sapphics are the worst at making the first move but this is ridiculous.”
“So true little buddy.” Sam laughed.
“Am I cracking you Sam?”
“You mean cracking me up?” Sam asked, confused.
“You heard what I said.” Max smiled devilishly.
Sam paused for a moment as she thought carefully about what she wanted to say next.
“Hey Max,” Sam asked, “I know you hate all that hypercommercialized sentimental amorous cheesy crap, but do you think you’d want to go on an excursion with me to some fine dining establishment?”
“Sam, are you asking me out on a date in an unnecessarily convoluted manner?”
“Well yeah.”
“Of course I want to go on a date with you, you big lug. But only if it’s something cool, like taking down criminals, or infiltrating the mafia or defeating an intergalactic force.”
“You just described what we do for work everyday.”
“We got a cool job don’t we?”
“Couldn’t agree more.”
“I guess I could be down to go play some mini golf. Long as I don’t get put in a dunktank again.”
“I’ll take those chances, it’s a date little buddy.” Sam smiled.